Legends of Windemere

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Yeah, we’re going to have another week of mental health posts.  I know this is an author blog, but I think touching on these topics is a good thing.  People need to speak out about mental health and have discussions about it.  I mean, it isn’t like society pushes people to hide their pain and muscle through in a way that creates other issues?  That would be silly, unhealthy, and lead to a very damaged population.

So, why does society want us to pretend to be healthy?

I don’t have a real answer for this because everyone will have their own opinion.  Some people think this isn’t true and that you can get over mental illness with s simple snap of your fingers.  Others believe that each person has the time, resources, support system, and energy to handle mental illness.  You have groups that think there are conspiracies to keep the populace damaged for easier control.  The list of opinions and perspectives can be vast, so we’re not going to tackle them all.  I’m just going to say my peace and hopefully others give their opinions in the comments.

Long ago, I felt that there was something wrong with my mind.  This was in high school and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I needed help.  I went to therapy and got a small handle on things.  It would be about 2.5 decades later that I discovered this was anxiety and it explained a lot of periods of my life.  Around this time I also learned that people recognizing an issue and getting help wasn’t common.  This is especially true with men who are told to push through pain because they’re not emotional creatures and couldn’t possibly suffer in such a fashion.  I’d like to point out that I’ve heard this primarily from much older generations and women.  Yes, there are men who say this, but I’ve run into a surprisingly large amount of women who think men either don’t suffer in this way or it doesn’t matter.

As I was handling my anxiety, I was told by many people that I had to keep it hidden unless I wanted to fail.  Very few people wanted to hear about my problems or see any signs of them.  I was heavily urged to keep everything hidden.  I had turned one of my blogging days into an ‘anxiety blog’ days, which I was forced to make private and stop altogether.  Why?  My divorce had started and people were telling me that publicly talking about my anxiety would cost me my son.  It was a constant push for me to swallow the pain and not let it out again.  Of course, I went along out of fear and confusion.

Now, I wonder why we do this to people who are suffering.  It clearly doesn’t do them any good long-term.  They might be okay for a little while, but the pain builds up and comes out eventually.  If you keep kicking the can down the road, you’re eventually going to have a sore foot and not be able to get it as far.  That means, you’re bound to have to deal with it, which general society seems to discourage.  When the dam does burst, you get a chorus of ‘why didn’t you get help earlier’ or ‘stop being dramatic’.  Some people are very quick to abandon someone suffering from mental illness.  Not a great statement about the sense of community in our society.

For some people, I think a reason for forcing others to not deal with their mental illness and to hide it is fear.  They don’t want to see such raw emotion and pain.  It makes them uncomfortable, which could force them to look into themselves.  Plenty of people grow up to avoid self-reflection and seeing others hurting can trigger that.  So, it’s ‘better’ to push emotional numbness and ignoring pain on those around you.  Maybe it’s a messed up defense mechanism that they’ve developed for some reason.

Either way, we don’t do any good for ourselves or others by hiding our pain.  I don’t mean to start screaming it daily from the rooftops.  Yet, one can’t keep it locked up where it cannot be processed.  Even if you can’t see a therapist, finding someone to talk to can really help.  I mean someone who will listen and not constantly interrupt in order to give suggestions.  Many times, a person simply needs to vent and then hear that their feelings are valid.  A listening ear and kind words can go a longer way than the way society currently deals with mental health.

So, what do you think about society and the push to hide mental illness?