Goal Post: The Life Event (Vague Form)

Posted on May 16, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

I didn’t get much done this week.  If I did then my brain doesn’t remember.  We celebrated my mom’s 80th birthday along with Mother’s Day.  My son had school and I had work.  My allergies were so bad that I had trouble functioning even with medicine.  It all turns into a slurry of images because the life event felt rough.  I’m going to try to explain without going into details.  I can’t in public.

So, I’ve been in a legal situation for a very, very long time.  Things are typically quiet, but have blips of activity that requires court, lawyers, and stress.  Basically, a person continues hurting me and people I care about, but only on an emotional and mental level.  It was usually too mild to get anywhere, but they recently crossed a line that pushed the situation into a more volatile state.  Of course, the people I care about are dragged into this and are still getting hurt by acts of pettiness or the usual power struggles.  That alone has been stressing me out.

I recently learned that this person has been recording me, which is something I’ve been wondering about for years.  They have a history of provoking me since they are aware of my anxiety and how to trigger it.  Long ago, this person was openly accused of starting fights with me and that was one of the few times I saw them angry instead of trying to play victim.  For a variety of reasons, we can’t be rid of each other too, but they really don’t want to be nice unless they have all the power.  Anyway, this revelation shook me up because it made me feel like an idiot as well as being violated.  Probably stems from another time I was horribly betrayed by someone.

My plan was to do some work on Coven of the Gray after the legal stuff since I had to take the day off.  Yet, I was so shaken that I just went home, changed, and crawled into bed to stare at the ceiling.  Just spent hours running through what I could have done differently and doom spiraling into what could go wrong.  Didn’t even eat until after I went out for a Pokemon event, which cheered me up.  The Pokemon crew are always high energy and joking around, which turned out to be what I needed even I wasn’t talking much.  My appetite has been out of whack ever since too.  Probably because of the horrible stress.

Other aspects of the life event happened that stressed me out.  No way for me to explain those without making the situation abundantly clear.  Writing this much is already making me feel uncomfortable since I’m sure people will figure some stuff out.  I just feel so trapped that I can’t talk about it.  The emotions and pain are locked under my skin like squirming eels.  The situation will end eventually, but the amount of damage being done to people I care about is ridiculous.  Since it isn’t physical, it doesn’t really matter because you can’t prove emotional and mental damage.  My worry is that full healing can’t be done after this is over.  Everyone who has been subjected to this mess deserves a chance to recover and be happy again.  Maybe even I can do it, but I feel like it will be a long time since I’ve been trying to absorb as much of the stress as I can to protect those who can’t defend themselves.

Nothing else is really going on.  Going to get back into cooking for a bit since I’ve figured out the air fryer now.  Time to try some recipes like fried raviolis and homemade quesadillas.  I have my son for Memorial Day weekend too, so he’s requested 3 of my biggest recipes for that weekend.  Restaurant-Style Chicken Lo Mein, Penne with Vodka Sauce, and Sweet & Sour Meatballs . . . Definitely going to have some glorious leftovers to bring into work.  I think cooking for a while will cheer my up too.  I don’t get to do it often due to my schedule and most of my recipes being time-consuming.  Something to look forward too, I guess.

Goals of the week:

  1. Food shopping for groceries.
  2. Cooking meals.
  3. Time with son when he’s with me.
  4. Pokemon!
  5. Try to relax and keep anxiety low.
  6. Work on September blog posts.
  7. Puzzle time.
  8. Remember sunscreen and hat for Field Day.
  9. Delete this post if I get too twitchy.
Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Poetry and Mental Health

Posted on May 15, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Poetry can be very helpful when it comes to mental health.  Many people use the medium as an outlet either in writing or reading.  While reading anything can be relaxing, poetry has a few aspects that prose lacks:

  1. Shorter, which means one can read favorite poems at times of stress.  You can’t read a full novel to get out of a panic attack, but you can read a poem with a message before you lose your composure.
  2. Poetry is more open to interpretation than prose.  This means, you can have less stress on getting your analysis ‘correct’.  Whatever you see in poetry is what is true.  It’s basically watching and describing clouds, but with words.
  3. With poetry being a common release for mental anguish, it is fairly easy to find a poem that relates to what a person is facing.  Prose has plenty of themes, but you have to get through a lot to reach it.  Poetry is right to the emotional core since it typically doesn’t have to deal with characters, development, climaxes, etc.
  4. In terms of writing, there aren’t any solid rules to writing poetry.  You don’t have to stick to an established style, so everything is optional.  This allows the emotions you are feeling to flow out of you and onto the paper with more ease than if you were trying to write a full story.

All of that combined can create a tension reducing activity regardless of you being the author or the reader.  As long as you don’t think your interpretation is wrong because other people think differently.  Poetry is great because of #2 when it comes to handling mental health.  Let me give you an example:

This is my favorite poem of all time even though I typically only remember the first stanza.  I heard it as a kid at the end of a nature show about tigers, which I watched multiple times a week.  It’s relaxing and stirs my imagination while my anxiety gets heavily reduced.  Moreso if I listen to someone speaking it.  Of course, the interpretation of it helps in my tension reduction, but my thoughts can vary:

  • As a child, I really thought it was just about the beauty and danger of the tiger.  It was, and still is, one of my favorite animals.  So, I thought it was to honor such an amazing creature.
  • The more adult interpretation is that this poem is about God.  It questions how an entity could create a gentle creature like the lamb AND nature’s perfect hunter, the tiger.  Of course, I feel God is neutral, so they would create both.  Still, the poem becomes a strong philosophical question, which can help reduce stress through distraction.
  • As an author, I think of it in a similar way as the second option.  Only, I see it as how I have to create both heroes and villains.  One has to develop opinions and thoughts on good and evil at all levels.  Otherwise, everyone will turn out the same.  This can get me to analyze my own behavior and thoughts, which can bring understanding to my own situation.
  • Sometimes, I think of the poem and wonder about how we are all created to serve some purpose.  It can be minor or major, but we have to exist for more than eventually dying.  I would say breeding, but not every can or will.  So, what is our purpose?  The lamb and the tiger clearly have roles in our world, so what about us?

All of these interpretations and thoughts can distract from what is harming my mental health.  It allows me to return to the situation with a clearer mind and possibly even get over the hump.  This is part of the magic of poetry.

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Poetry Day: The Invisible Switch

Posted on May 14, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Final Destination

(Yup, another poem about death.  I think about the subject a lot for some reason.  Not in a ‘I want to die’ way.  There’s a terrifying fascination in my brain about the whole concept.  I have grow anxious when the idea that everything that is ‘me’ can cease to exist at any given moment.  Even if there is evidence that I was alive, the ‘me’ will be either somewhere else or nowhere.  No wonder humans come up with afterlives.)

Death is inevitable
The ancient cliché
A phrase of despair
Or acceptance
Or mocking defiance
Yet we fear it

It is a fear
Twisting at our bowels
Gnawing at our minds
Teasing at our triumphs
But is it fear of the inevitable act
Or the aftermath

Heaven for the pure
Hell for the damned
Rebirth
For those that think it so
We paint these pictures
For assurance

It puts our minds at ease
To believe
To have faith
That part of us lives on
After the flesh
Has served its purpose

I pray that this is true
Even Hell
Would be better than my fear
I lay awake some nights
Imagining that I die
And become nothing

Darkness
Coldness
Yet I cannot see
Or feel
All my senses
Have ceased to be

I have ceased to be
No spirit to move on
No soul to wander
No essence to prove I was here
I am nothing
Without my flesh

This is how I fear death
Not the act of dying
I fear
That one day
My invisible switch will be flipped
And I will be nothing

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Revisiting: 7 Tips to Writing Depressed Characters

Posted on May 13, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on April 8, 2020.)

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A few disclaimers here because we’re heading into delicate territory.  I am not an expert on mental health by any means.  I read up on it and have my own experiences to work off, which is what fuels these posts.  Also, I always try to add some humor into my posts, especially the 7 Tip Lists.  I find that humor can relieve tension and allow for serious stuff to be listened to and swallowed more easily.  Finally, this is about actual depression and not a character simply feeling sad or upset.  That brings us right to #1!

  1. Depression does not always, in fact it rarely, has a direct source.  Your character can simply go into a depressed state or be there the entire time.  Of course, it can be triggered by something, but it doesn’t always have such a direction.  Good chance that they can’t even explain it.  After all, if you can clearly explain what is causing the problem then it’s much easier to fix.  Wouldn’t that be a nice addition to the depression diagnosis.  Make my life easier.
  2. You really need to make sure that you don’t equate depression with simply being sad.  A character can use the term since people do, but you need to remain aware of what this condition is.  It is INTENSE sadness with a sense of worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness.  You feel like the world is crushing you or that it would be better off without you.  This is debilitating and it lasts for days or weeks or months or years to the point where life is difficult.
  3. Remember the symptoms for your character, but they don’t have to be imbued with everything off the list.  Trouble sleeping and low energy can be there, but maybe they mask their depression with a false sense of optimism.  Having a hard time focusing, being irritable, eating disorders, and an inability to gain pleasure or happiness from stuff are possibilities too.  If you slap everything on your character and them handling their depression isn’t the main part of the story then you’re going to run into a lot of obstacles.  So, consider what the story is before you decide on the degree.
  4. For the love of everything, don’t have the character snap out of their depression because a person gave them a pep talk.  That really doesn’t work.  Maybe it gets them to acknowledge the problem and get help, which is a good thing.  On the other hand, it can just as likely make a person feel like they’re not being understood or even mocked, so they curl even further inside themselves.
  5. If you aren’t sure if something falls under depression or not then either do some research or skip it.  This is like any other delicate situation that you’re including in your story.  Sure, instinct and common sense can work if you’re able to imagine what it would be like for yourself.  I do that with some of my things after reading up on the basics and factoring in my personality.  Still, you want to be careful since people will look at this character very closely.
  6. Depression does not mean the character is useless, but good luck getting them to believe that.  They will have moments where they cannot function and may fail because of their depression, which will make things worse.  They can also have times when they save the day and remain depressed.  This is the nature of the illness.  A step forward can have absolutely no effect on their mental state while even a perceived stumble is the equivalent of stepping on somebody’s newborn baby.  Not that thought specifically, but depressed people focus more on what they do wrong than what they do right.
  7. It’s very tempting for some people to use characters like this for humor or to play the ‘negative’ role.  Yes, a person with depression can be a pessimist because they have trouble seeing the positive side of things.  This isn’t always the case.  A depressed character can also be shy and only speak when they muster up a lot of courage to voice their opinion.  There’s a fear of rejection here that can be played out and create sympathy here.  Again, it also depends on personality because some may be more chatty and open because they’re hiding their pain.
Posted in Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Teaser Tuesday: That’s Unnerving

Posted on May 12, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

This is an earlier part of the story where the heroes reach the first part of Delvin and Sari’s journey in the jungle.  Charms of the Feykin has them following the path that was shown in Tribe of the Snow Tiger.  Not in detail, but the major points so the heroes know what happened to their friends.  Anyway, this shows what kind of mindset Nyx is in for this adventure.  Those poor, poor villains:  (As before there are possible spoilers below that I couldn’t remove to keep the excerpt clear.)

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Continue reading →

Posted in Legends of Windemere, Teaser Tuesday, Tribe of the Snow Tiger | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Revisiting: 7 Tips to Writing Anxious Characters

Posted on May 11, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on April 10, 2020.)

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A few disclaimers here because we’re heading into delicate territory again. Eh, I’m just copying and pasting here.  I am not an expert on mental health by any means.  I read up on it and have my own experiences to work off, which is what fuels these posts.  Also, I always try to add some humor into my posts, especially the 7 Tip Lists.  I find that humor can relieve tension and allow for serious stuff to be listened to and swallowed more easily.  So, let’s get to this one . . . Okay . . . Yup . . . Staring it now . . . I’m really twitchy about this one because I’m not striking close to home. I’m hitting the roof dead center.

  1. Like depression and sadness, be careful using anxiety as a synonym for nervous or mixing the two up.  This can be done and I do it a lot too.  A person can be momentarily anxious and that’s fine.  When it comes to the mental illness, it’s much heavier and long-lasting.  A character with anxiety will see a small problem and have a reaction that one could say is ‘too big’ for it.  For example, maybe they are texting back and forth with a friend, but there is a sudden stop.  An anxious person will fixate on it for hours and imagine that they offended the friend, something bad happened, or any number of horrible ideas.  The possibility of the friend being busy, showering, bathroom, phone losing power, or anything innocent doesn’t click very often.
  2. Anxiety can make for awkward social situations, which may be tempting to play up for laughs.  It’s easier to do it for this than depression because people may focus on the physical side to the anxiety issue.  They may flail while babbling or comically rush out of the room in some fashion.  If this is the tone of the story then it can work since the character isn’t the only one being the source of humor.  If they’re the only ones that it happens to then you may want to rethink things.
  3. Panic attacks are a thing and they aren’t pretty.  Stereotypically, it’s shown as hyperventilating and nearly passing out.  There can be more to it and the severity isn’t always the same.  Chest pains, rabid heartbeat, chills hot flashes, and trembling show how some are visible and some are internal.  If the attack reaches the point where the character has limb spasms because of the shaking or even locking up entirely then it shows the severity.  Another symptom is itching, which I’ve noticed getting used in a few recent shows and animes.  The more anxious the character gets, the more vicious the scratching.
  4. Unlike depression, a character with anxiety can voice a source even if it’s something that isn’t a big problem.  The point is that they are worrying about whatever it is that has set them off.  It could be a clear issue like fighting with a loved one or needing to pay bills.  Yet, it can just as easily be that they have a small pain in their arm and start thinking they’re about to have a heart attack.  Could also be the wrong arm for that or it’s clear to everyone else that it stemmed from earlier physical exertion.  Again, a person with anxiety has a high chance of overreacting.
  5. Anxiety hampers the decision-making process.  Once you go past the level of thinking clearly, you can’t immediately reel it in.  So, these characters may have trouble acting under pressure.  They can lock up or focus on a small part of the problem instead of the overall issue.  Yes, the red button to save the world is in the locked safe and it’s good that you know this, but there’s also a fire-breathing dragon, lasers, and a very angry leprechaun that we have to handle first.  Anyway, these characters may be snapped back to attention in some fashion, but it isn’t easy and you need to have them work up to this.
  6. These characters don’t always have to be hyper and constantly talking when they’re really anxious.  In fact, there’s a higher chance of them turning inward because their thoughts are racing.  They are stuck in the avalanche of paranoid thoughts that they no longer realize what is going on around them.  This is not something that should be played up constantly, but it is a possibility.  Don’t use the anxiety to routinely sideline the character for the majority of scenes.
  7. You will probably be tempted to have other characters attempt to calm the anxiety one down.  Go for it, but decide on which tactics will work.  Slapping and being aggressive probably won’t help.  If anything, it will make the panic attack worse because now they’re upset that they made their friends mad.  Positivity without any meat such as inspirational sayings or mindless cheerleading will fall on deaf ears or irritate.  At least, I think they would, so feel free to ignore that one.  Personally, I think having a character softly and gently coax the anxious one out of the attack is the best thing to do if you want interaction.  Physical contact isn’t necessary, but an acknowledgement of emotions and slowly talking them out of the spiral can help even if it takes a lot of time.
Posted in Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Happy Mothers Day

Posted on May 10, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Almost put a different post here.  Oops.  Enjoy the holiday!  (Why are about half of the Mothers Day memes insulting the husbands/fathers?)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Goal Post: Concerts, Chaos, and Field Trip

Posted on May 9, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Might as well start on the writing progress, which only happened during last weekend.  I was determined to finish the powers, memories, and guide for the protagonist of Coven of the Gray.  The next step is to design the 13 corrupted Coven members, which will help me figure out the adventure.  Not sure if I’m going for a story told through short stories or chapters.  Short stories might be best with 13 enemies that are found in specific locations instead of roaming.  Though, I think I might have one Coven member be a wanderer that shows up at times.

One thing that caught me by surprise was the memory list.  I made a list of 13 good memories that can be returned and another of 13 bad.  It was easier to come up with traumatic incidents than good ones.  Mostly because I kept feeling like ‘first kiss’, ‘first job’, ‘meeting friends’, etc. paled in comparison to ‘abusive spouse’, ‘judging family’, and ‘near-death experience’.  That’s another reason I stopped after designing the guide.  I was pretty shaken by the idea that good memories are primarily what we expect life to give us while bad memories are upheavals.  So, the latter has more emotional potency than the former even in fiction.

While I was hoping to do some research on the number 13 in psychology, I wasn’t able to do so this week.  I’ll have tomorrow while my son is with his mom, which can help me start on the Coven members.  Not that I didn’t try, but my son had his two spring concerts, which leave 3 more before graduation in 2027.  There were other appointments that took up the other days, so I really spent my brief free time to take walks in the park.  It wasn’t just for Pokemon because I really want to get more physically active after such a sedentary winter.  Caused a lot by that hospital stay, recovery, and the aftermath.  I still have discomfort in the scarred area if the weather is too cold.

Today, we’re having a family dinner for Mother’s Day and my mom’s 80th birthday.  So, my only real goal is to finish laundry before family arrives.  Not a lofty Saturday goal, but writing takes a backseat to the big event.  Although, my son and I are still going out for an hour of a Pokemon event . . . It’s been suggested for reasons.  That and we have to talk about a few things coming up.  Oh, I’ll just through in here that Friday was a wild field trip at work, which is another reason I’m exhausted.

This coming week is going to be equally as chaotic, but there aren’t any concerts.  There’s a big thing on Wednesday that I can’t legally talk about on here.  Not until certain aspects of the situation are solidified.  It’s causing extra stress due to other entities acting out and even doubling down on problematic behavior.  Once Wednesday is over . . . I really don’t know how things will go.  I’ll probably be dead on my feet, but school events prevent me from taking off unless I’m truly sick.  I expect to be dragging myself to next weekend, which has a Bat Mitzvah.  That should be fun.  Decent chance that I can get some writing done.  Be nice if I can finish all of the Coven members, but I’m not going to get greedy given my situation.

I might try to do more September blog posts to clear some time because things can get crazy at any moment here.  That life event (Did I ever say what it was?) is feeling a little volatile.  I’m trying to remain positive, but I’m always scared that a curveball will hit me without warning.  Thinking about it, the stress has been leading to me falling asleep around 9:30 and fighting to stay asleep.  Even while writing this on Friday night, I’m feeling exhausted and drowsy.  Probably why it isn’t exhilarating and full of much positive news.  I’m trying, but I feel like I’m going to be dragging myself through life for a few months.

Goals of the week?

  1. Work on Coven of the Gray villains.
  2. Help son with school and college prep.
  3. LIFE EVENT APPOINTMENT ON WEDNESDAY
  4. Field trip on Tuesday.
  5. Walk and bike to have some exercise.
  6. Curse the rain that keeps showing up when I’m not at work.
  7. Start food shopping for 2 weeks of being in charge of dinners.
  8. September blog posts.
  9. Puzzle time since I’m out of Lego sets.
Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

What Is Art Therapy?

Posted on May 8, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Art Therapy– A mental health profession that combines psychology with creative activities such as drawing and painting.  This is done to improve a person’s emotional, mental, and cognitive health.

That’s the basic definition of this field, but we can go further.  I want do do this through clear bullet points though:

  • The purpose of art therapy is for a person to express emotions that they cannot easily explain or reveal.
  • It can also help with facing trauma and grief.
  • Art therapy can help relieve anxiety and depression by granting a sense of control.
  • Pain can be managed by taking attention and focus away from the source.
  • Art therapy has been used for cancer patients, veterans, and patients who are forced to live in isolation.
  • No prior experience or knowledge of the art style is needed.
  • The type of art is typically the visual arts such as drawing, painting, and sculpting.
  • Can increase self-esteem, memory, and mental clarity.
  • Art therapy can help a person learn to recognize and change harmful behaviors.
  • They do have dance, drama, and musical therapies.

That’s all of the stuff I found across the board.  Wasn’t sure about things that I only found on a single site.  If anyone knows more about this then please share in the comments.

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Poetry Day: The Human Dog

Posted on May 7, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Here’s the partner to ‘The Human Cat’.  Maybe I have a preference here though.  It’s weird because I’ve never had either as a pet.  Never sure if I’d be able to handle a cat or dog too.  Mostly, I’m not sure if I’d be able to get anything done with such an animal around because I’d give them attention whenever they ask.)

We are the loyal ones
Ready to be by your side
Whenever pain arises
Forgetting our own woes
To help you with your own

We are the helpful ones
Asked only once for aide
Which we quickly give
We feel it is our duty
To assist when we are needed

We are the listening ones
Ready for your story
Whether it be nice or sad
Every word we hear
Though we may not understand

We are the fragile ones
Able to take some barbs
Shrugged off as your bad mood
But once the barbs dig too deep
Our loyalty turns to rage

Be kind to your canine friends
A loyal friend is hard to find
To have one is a gift
That you will miss if pushed away
For a dog’s heart heals slowly

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , | 9 Comments