Goal Post: Freakin’, Frackin’ Bacteria!!

Posted on May 30, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

 

Let’s do a quick list of maladies that hit me this school year:

  • Shot to stomach that caused digestion trouble for a week.
  • Drug-resistant staph infection that put me in hospital, required 3 weeks of wound care, and left me with both a scar AND some distention.
  • Flu without a fever.
  • Horrible Allergies
  • And . . . A DAMN EAR INFECTION!

This started Thursday morning and I struggled through work with muffled hearing and a growing pain.  I thought it was earwax buildup and used drops to help relieve it, but the drops got stuck inside.  Took a while to get them out and then off to work.  By the time I got to the doctor, I was in pain and only got more eardrops.  Those got stuck in my ear Friday morning, which didn’t help my mood.  I’m depending on ibuprofen, warm compresses, and whatever else can relieve the pain.  Needless to say, it’s going to be a wonky weekend.

I finally settled on what I’m going to use for Coven of the Gray when I design the coven members.  There’s a list of 13 needs to be functional, which I liked.  Each one can be used to craft a character who will be either the opposite or the insanely enhanced version of that factor.  For example, I think the ‘fitness’ one will be the roaming enemy who is physically pushing the hero to get stronger.  Another might sap self-esteem or whatever else is on the list.  Still, I have this weekend to put it together.  I’m putting aside the afternoons and evenings for this when I’m too out of it to do Pokemon.

My plan to get writing done on Wednesday didn’t work out.  My son and I had off from school, but he decided that he wasn’t going to play by the custody schedule.  So, he refused to leave the house.  The kid is 16 and taller than me, so there’s no way I’m getting him to go if he doesn’t want to.  I tried reasoning, offering stuff, and other venues, but he stood his ground.  All I could do that day was have him only work on practice SATs and not do anything fun.  The Nintendo controllers were hidden when I went out to take care of the lawn and get other stuff done around the house.  Still, I couldn’t do any writing since I had to go over SAT stuff with him.  The kid also ate all of the leftovers I was saving for lunches and dinners . . . How is he devouring half a fridge and not gaining weight?  I miss having that kind of metabolism.

I wouldn’t say this week was a total lack of progress.  Since I had my hands full with my son and a few online appointments then paperwork, I took the time to set up blog posts for September and October.  I know it’s really far ahead, but I want to dive into Darwin & the Deadlands Queen as soon as the school year is over at the end of June.  I have a week between end of school and start of summer session, which means I could feasibly get the first 2-3 chapters done.  I have a full week after summer session when my son is still working too, which can help me make progress.  My general goal is to get this book done by the end of 2026.  That leaves two more books in the series that I could finish in 2027, which could mean publishing is in the future.  Is it weird that I’m writing books and have no immediate publishing plans due to time and money?

This coming week is going to be a crazy one, so I don’t want to get my hopes up.  First, I have no idea if my ear issues will continue for long.  Keep feeling like I’m waiting for a bizarre pop for it to be fixed because of the pressure.  The situation could force me to take a day off if they don’t go away fast.  Second, my son has the SAT next Saturday, so we’re going to be going over test taking tactics and shore up his weak areas.  I’m hoping he does as well on the real test as he’s doing on the practice ones.  He can take one more shot at it in October if he wants, but that’s going to cut it close.  I’ll be happy if I can complete all of the characters in Coven of the Gray, but that’s pushing it.

Goals of the week?

  1. Recover from newest health issue.
  2. Help son prepare for SAT.
  3. Work on Coven of the Gray.
  4. Play Pokemon when feel up for it.  Fresh air seems to help for a bit.
  5. Watch either ‘Devil May Cry’ Season 2 or ‘Spider Noir’.
  6. Puzzle time to relax.
  7. Pre-Order Lego sets.
  8. Figure out ear wash kit when it arrives.
  9. Recover from inevitable failed attempt.
Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Questions 3: Art and Mental Health

Posted on May 29, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Coming to the end of Mental Health Month, so let’s just see what people are thinking and feeling.

  1. How do you think art helps with mental health?
  2. How has art helped your mental health?
  3. Why do you think there’s a connection between creativity and mental illness?
Posted in Questions 3 | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Poetry Day: The Living Dead

Posted on May 28, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Another poem about death . . . or life.  Sorry?)

We are mortal beings
In the grand expanse of time
Our half-blink existence
Cherished by so few
Because so many miss the point
They live to die
Believing it the goal
Aiming for heaven
For all their might
Avoiding the pits of hell
While others plan ahead
Expecting to return
We live our lives for death
Dwelling on our fate
As if understanding
Will keep the void at bay
Nothing will prevent it
So why do we live for it
Abandoning our true life
In toiling scramble for the end
A foolish waste
Of the greatest gift of all
Yet here we are
A species loving death
And ignoring the time we have

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Revisiting: Ways To Help Ease Anxiety

Posted on May 27, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on April 20, 2022.  Just have to change the ‘2 years’ to ‘4 years’ and add a few.)

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The last 4 years hasn’t done my anxiety any good.  Normally, I’d avoid doing a big post about it because I keep getting told to not make it public.  Yet, I think I should do something to help others in the same position.  After all, the last few years have been brutal on all of us.

First, I want to state that these are things that work for me.  That doesn’t mean it will work for everyone.  Each person has their own flavor of anxiety.  So, take this list as possible methods to help you through anxiety.  Let’s get right to it:

  1. Oils–  This always sounded hokey to me, but I tried it out long ago.  Mostly to help me sleep soundly.  I have a small oil diffuser and a sleepy time mix that is primarily lavender.  Not a fan of lavender, but I realized that it helps.  I wasn’t using it for a while and then my nightly panic attacks started coming back.  Decided I had nothing to lose, so I dug out the diffuser and it worked.  I’ve noticed that I don’t sleep as well if I don’t have it on now.  Keep it right on the headboard too.  Is it really the oil or a psychosomatic thing?  No idea, but it helps.
  2. Meditation– I’ll admit that I don’t do this as well as I should.  There are various apps that help.  I had one on my old phone, but it’s long gone.  Just taking a moment of silence and letting your mind wander.  This does have its risk because your mind can go in a sour direction.  So, having music or the television on could help.  Just has to be something with noise that you don’t have to give full attention too.  Ceiling fans can help here as well.  Strange addition, but I’ve found the spinning blades can have a mesmerizing effect when I’m really stressed.
  3. Therapy–  Probably the hardest one to do because you need medical coverage to pay for it.  Even then, it might not be on the list of approved services.  So, an alternative is just having a friend who you can talk to when you’re stressed.  That one person who understands you have anxiety and is willing to listen can go a long way.  It helps get your thoughts and emotions out because keeping them pent up is one way we set off panic attacks and anxiety spirals.
  4. Ignore/Call Out/Talk To the ‘Calm Down Crew’– We all know these people.  They mean well, but their advice has the opposite effect.  If you’re in the midst of a panic attack, the words ‘calm down’ or any similar suggestion can be triggering.  Anxiety can come with a level of paranoia and depression, which makes these words appear condescending.  They’re not perceived as being said to help the sufferer, but to make the speaker more comfortable with the situation.  So, you start to think the other person simply wants you to go away or be quiet, which is upsetting.  The ways to handle it are ignore (difficult), call out (easiest due to emotions), or talk to (middle because it requires controlling emotions).
  5. Yoga (Low Stress Activity)–  I don’t actually do yoga, but I know it’s suggested all the time alongside meditation.  I’ve tried it, but it doesn’t really do it for me.  I think the point is to have a quiet, low stress activity to help keep you relaxed.  In place of this, I do jigsaw puzzles and, if possible, read manga.
  6. Hydration–  This is an odd one and I might be stretching.  One of the issues I have with my anxiety is that it can set off gastrointestinal issues.  I’ve recently noticed that those are minimized or avoided if I keep myself hydrated.  Even in the midst of physical suffering, drinking from my 64 ounce jug to get a full day’s worth goes a long way to resetting my system.  It’s important because anxiety can set off the physical issue, which creates more anxiety.  It creates a nasty cycle that can last around a week if I’m not careful.
  7. Writing– Keeping a journal where you write your thoughts can help purge them and give you clarity.  Mentally, anxiety can make you spiral into dark regions of your mind or just run in circles.  Maybe it’s the thoughts not having an outlet, so writing them in a stream of consciousness can get them out.  It doesn’t even have to be a journal, but a piece of paper that you toss, burn, or shred once you’re better.  Since it’s just for you, it can be in any way that you want with no care for organization, spelling, and grammar.
  8. Exercise– Another one that I don’t do, but it can help.  If anything, your mind can zone out by focusing on the reps or whatever you do.  This can ‘defrag’ your brain in a way and the anxiety will be reduced.  My preference for when I do this is biking, which involves listening to music as well.  This also results in me daydreaming a bit.
  9. Concentration-Based Activities–  These are any relaxing activities that require focus of the mind.  Crossword puzzles, jigsaw puzzles, Lego sets, model building, or just about anything that will take your mind off the spiraling.
Posted in Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Teaser Tuesday: The Former God Vs. The Fool

Posted on May 26, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

One of the few teasers from Legends of Windemere: Warlord of the Forgotten Age.  I still find it tough to do these because it’s the finale.  Spoilers were everywhere.  Enjoy!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Continue reading →

Posted in Legends of Windemere, Teaser Tuesday, Warlord of the Forgotten Age | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Revisiting: Avoid or Tackle Mental Illness in Fiction

Posted on May 25, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on April 6, 2020.)

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I bring up mental health a lot here.  Usually, it’s in regards to the topic itself and not connecting it to writing.  Well, I’m going to switch that up here.  Wednesday and Friday are going to be some 7 Tip lists for depression and anxiety in fiction while today is going to be more of an open forum.  The question:

Do you think mental health issues should be avoided or tackled in fiction, especially genres like fantasy?

Personally, I think it depends on the author.  You can’t force someone to include a subject or trait that they aren’t comfortable with.  They might know enough about the mental issue to use it, which means research is needed.  It could also be that they are afraid of offending a sufferer with an incorrect depiction or to trigger something.  Since we are talking about a sensitive situation, it’s totally understandable that one would feel this way.  Honestly, I don’t think it’s fair to attack an author who tries and fails to depict a mental health issue even if they were being a jerk about it.  Respond with a rational criticism and try to educate if possible.

That also brings me to the other side of the spectrum that I’ve seen.  Some authors will take the more sensational version of a mental health issue for dramatic effect.  Anxiety-riddled heroes who can barely get out of the house.  Depressives who cry every time they speak and are covered in self-inflicted scars.  OCD is a term that is flung around so casually that it loses all meaning to some people.  Don’t even get me started on dissociative identity disorder, which used to be split personality disorder . . . Mostly because I’m still not 100% sure on how to work this one.  Anyway, these extremes can exist in reality, but they aren’t always the case.  To make it look like this is the only way it can go can be upsetting to those who suffer in a different way.  Especially when your depiction causes readers to expect those extremes in sufferers, so they doubt the words of anyone suffering in any other way.

This really is a delicate topic to add into your stories.  With fantasy, I think there are magical ways to cushion the blow or explain why it isn’t widespread.  Kind of a big cop out there, but it’s something.  At least with the more severe mental illnesses because you have psychics, casters, and healers out there.  One thing that is a dangerous tactic here is to use mental health issues as ‘curses’.  It’s pretty easy to do and comes off like a good idea when it’s in an outline stage.  The brave hero is sudden afflicted by anxiety or depression or a phobia or OCD or any number of things.  Yet, this can backfire and come off as insulting because it makes the conditions appear evil.  They’re not.

As I continue writing, I’m considering adding some mental health issues into my stories, but I’m still twitchy on trying.  There is going to be an addiction subplot in one book series, which stems from severe grief and depression.  I don’t know if this counts since it’s a deep sadness with a source and not a depression with no clear catalyst.  Anxiety is one that I might consider more because I have a better idea of that one.  I guess another reason for me personally is that I really want to maintain the escapism and heavy topics like this can shatter that illusion if you’re not careful.  They won’t be the main focus of a story, so they’ll be there as subplots or character traits.  This kind of prevents me from tackling the really heavy ones because those need a lot of attention and focus.

Anyway, what do you think about this topic?  Also, if anyone ever wants to write up a guest post on a specific mental health issue then feel free to ask for a spot.  Awkward request, but I feel like I’m limited in experience and knowledge here.

Posted in Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

National Escargot Day: ‘Gross’ Foods

Posted on May 24, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

For those who don’t know, Escargot are snails that people eat.  I’ve never tried and I don’t really want to.  This is the main food I think of when I think of ‘gross’ things people eat.  I know I shouldn’t judge, but it’s hard here.  Then again, people judge me for eating calamari because they think squid is gross.  There are other ‘gross’ foods in my mind as well:

  • Frog legs
  • Cow tongue
  • Liver
  • Haggis
  • Tarantulas
  • Ants
  • Monkey brain
  • Cavier
  • Gefilte fish

The list can keep going.  Yet, I know there are big audiences for all of what I mentioned here.  Otherwise, people would know that they’re edible.  They would have disappeared from the global menu long ago.  It all got me thinking too.

  1. What is a food that you find gross and others love?
  2. What is the strangest food you have ever heard of?
  3. What food do you love that others find gross?
Posted in Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Goal Post: Streak Dead Due To Stupidity

Posted on May 23, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Last Saturday, I made the goal post about the life event and tried my best to explain without going into details.  I needed to vent and it was the only thing that really happened that week.  Once I saw that audience interaction was really low by the end of the day, I felt I either made a mistake or very few cared.  Even some of the people who like right away were missing, which caused my already anxious mind to spiral.  I deleted the post and forgot to put up a replacement, so my posting streak ended at 3, 177 days.  At least according to WordPress even though I haven’t stopped.

This week wasn’t that exciting because work and life took over.  The first half of the week was hot, which culminated in a field day in 90+ heat.  It was grueling and we did our best to have fun, but it was draining.  Didn’t help that the next day plunged into the 50’s by morning, so my body was rocked.  Allergies, exhausted, stress, and who knows what else made me a zombie for a day.  Managed to physically recover enough to avoid using a sick day and dragged myself into this 3-day weekend.  By the way, it’s supposed to rain from noon today through noon Monday.

Been running the household this week, so chores and cooking were all on my shoulders.  I figured out the air fryer to make fried raviolis.  Did sausages too, but the rest ended up being take out due to exhaustion.  To make up for it, I’m cooking some big dishes this weekend and will have them for leftovers.  That or they’ll be lunches, but we’re off Wednesday too for Eid.  I still want to try making air fryer quesadillas, which I bought the ingredients for.  Groceries are still so expensive.  I’m trying to make it last by eating smaller portions . . . Yet, I still can’t lose weight, but that’s cortisol levels.

Writing hasn’t left the research stage because I realized the picture I saved doesn’t actually work for what I want.  So, Coven of the Gray is paused while I scour psychology sites for inspiration to create the 13 members.  I keep finding lists of 13, but I can never tell if they’re legit.  One was for psychological factors for proper mental health, which were only found on a single site and some books by the founders.  Another site showed there are only 13 mental illnesses, which I could already tell was wrong.  I tried looking into the hierarchy of needs too, but that list is either too short at 6 or too long at 20+.  With the rain and my son having homework, tomorrow will probably be more research.  Unless I stumble onto something today, which is possible since I keep coming so close.

Next week might be more productive since there are only 3 days of school and then we hit the weekend.  Hoping I can make it though because I’m really running on mental and physical fumes.  Desperately trying not to take a mental health day, but it’s starting to look like it’ll be a physical crash at some point.  Probably won’t happen this week due to the breaks, but it depends on if the life event starts wailing on me.  Given the weather, they might have nothing better to do than poke at me from long distance.  Really hope this mess is over soon, but not looking likely.

Nothing else is really going on.  Been slowly working my way through a long anime when I have the energy.  My son and I are trying to think of a movie or two to watch this weekend when we need a break.  One of them might be ‘Short Circuit’, which was a favorite of mine as a kid.  I think we both need comedies.  He’s been under a lot of stress with school, college prep, SAT prep, and a Super Smash Bros tournament.  He took second place after winning the last tournament.  So, he had a victory this week.  I merely survived to struggle another day.

Goals of the week:

  1. Cook dinners.  (Restaurant Style Chicken Lo Mein, Sweet & Sour Meatballs, Air Fryer Quesadillas, Macaroni with Vodka Sauce.)
  2. Finish Coven of the Gray research.
  3. Finish September blog posts.
  4. Sleep in when possible.
  5. Watch movies and anime with son.
  6. Puzzle!
  7. Pokemon Go when not raining.
  8. Clean bathroom, kitchen, floors, and mow the lawn . . . At some point.
Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Artists Who Had Mental Illness

Posted on May 22, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Bruce Springsteen (Depression)

Many people talk about there being an association between mental illness and creative genius.  When you look at the list of those with both, you kind of think there is something too it.  On the other hand, it could be that everyone has some mental illness, but those who become famous are more willing to talk about it.  That or they’re more likely to publicly succumb to their situations.  Hard to tell, but it’s probably a case-by-case situation.  Here are other artists who have claimed to have mental health issues, which either fuel or are curbed by their art:

Zelda Fitzgerald- Author (Bipolar)

Yayoi Kusama- Artist who lives in a mental institution (Hallucinations, OCD, anxiety, and depression)

Syd Barrett- Musician (Schizophrenia and/or Drug Use)

Ntozake Shange- Playwright/Poet (Depression and Bipolar)

Leo Tolstoy- Author (Depression)

Ernest Hemingway- Writer (Depression & Bipolar)
F. Scott Fitzgerald- Writer (Alcoholism, depression, and anxiety)

Francisco Goya- Painter (Depression, Hallucinations, and Paranoia)

DMX- Singer and Actor (Bipolar)

Camille Claudel- Sculptor (Paranoid Schizophrenia)

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Poetry Day: The ‘Joy’ of Going Mad

Posted on May 21, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

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(Not as joyous as I thought before I read it again.  My anxiety used to be so bad that I would have full body spasms or partial ones.  These were entirely at night after I was jolted awake by my sleep apnea plus anxiety.  Hasn’t happened since late 2018 . . . In conjunction with another life event, which I won’t mention in public.  Weird.)

Interesting sensations
Beyond my self control
I feel a key turning
At the skull’s squishy base
Random bouts of blinking
Joined by thoughts
Of my brain’s misfiring
Staring into space
Pondering why I stare
Yet unable to break away
I sense a fraying
At the edge of nerves
Seconds before a spasm
One hand twitches
As if conducting songs
While the other is a lump
Hanging dead at my side
Is this the physicality
Of my plunge into madness
Has my mind already gone
And left my husk behind
In its feeble attempts
To continue on

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , | 10 Comments