Ye Olde Thief Shoppe?

Posted on July 8, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on September 20, 2014.  Looks like this was the very first ‘Ye Olde Shoppe’ skit.)

Thief from Yahoo Image Search

Thief from Yahoo Image Search

So, you’re about to set out for a life of fantasy thief crime.  Well, you’re going to need a lot of gear.  Unlike warriors, you can’t get away with armor, sword, and shield.  It’s a long list of items you’re going to need.  Do you have a specialty?  Thief isn’t a specialty, kid.  This is going to take a while.  Let’s give you the starter package:

  1. Melee Weapon–  I have shortswords, rapiers, daggers, saps, clubs, and other lightweight . . . put the battle-axe down, kid!  You’re a thief.  This means stealth and speed.  If you want a heavy weapon then become a warrior or a barbarian.  Take a few daggers and a shortsword before you hurt yourself.
  2. Range Weapon– I recommend a small crossbow, but you have to be careful.  Stick to the shadows and time your shots.  No firing away like you’re a crazy cowboy.  What’s a cowboy?  You really have to get out of your genre, kid.
  3. Light Armor–  You can wear normal clothes or lightweight armor.  I may sound like a broken record here, but you have to focus on stealth and speed.  Leather armor is the best I would go because the metal armors make noise.  What do you mean are pants optional for female thieves?  That’s a stupid question . . . they are, but I don’t recommend it.  Customer is always right though.
  4. Lock Picks–  Whether you’re going to be a burglar or not, every thief should have a set of lock picks.  You never know when they’ll come in handy.  Locked in the dungeon?  Have these babies hidden on you and you’ll be out in no time.  I remember buying a few locks and practicing.  Make sure you keep them hidden on your personage and not in a place that is hard to reach.  Nobody will check your codpiece for lock picks, but you’re not going to get to them very easily.  Not to mention the pinching.
  5. Grappling Hook–  You never know when climbing will be necessary.  I could sit here all day naming situations.  Don’t forget to buy the rope too, kid.
  6. Specialty Kit–  I know you said you didn’t have a specialty, but I highly recommend choosing something.  We have disguises for spies and manipulators.  We have blowguns, poisons, and caltrops for assassins.  You can also use the poisons if you aim to be a conniving royal advisor.  Seriously, the classics never die.  Let’s see.  I have forgery kits and . . . I have a pirate beginner set.  Be warned that the ship is not included in that.  Just the hat, parrot, two treasure maps of questionable authenticity and a trainee license to get you started.
  7. Optional Holding Item– You can laugh about this one, but you’re going to be carrying around a lot of gear and, hopefully, loot.  This bag or pocket or whatever you want is a small dimension to hold everything and you can pull it out quickly.  Now, you can go the route of not explaining how you carry everything and pray nobody asks.  Though, you run the risk of people assuming you have all your stuff in an unsavory place.  Just ask Solid Snake from Metal Gear how much fun that accusation is.

Those are the basics and you can look around the shop to see if anything else catches your eye, kid.  What was that?  How are you going to pay for this?  You’re planning to pay me instead of attempting to rob me.  Oh, kid, you’re so in the wrong profession.

Posted in Olde Shoppe Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Teaser Tuesday: To The Tower

Posted on July 7, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Cover Art by Alison Hunt

Good time to show off a little bit of the action in War of Nytefall: Savagery.  With there being so many puzzles for Clyde to solve, it’s really tough to find a non-spoiler part to share.  So, have fun this intro to one the more maddening challenges.  At least for Clyde because the rest of us will enjoy the fun.

Continue reading →

Posted in Teaser Tuesday, War of Nytefall | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Questions 3: World-Building

Posted on July 6, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on July 6, 2015.  Figure this would be a good repost since this was the first Questions 3.)

Carl Sagan Quote (Supposedly. Internet isn't always honest.)

Carl Sagan Quote (Supposedly. Internet isn’t always honest.)

I’m still on the road here, which means I needed to think of a post that would be fun and not require me to be around until later.  Then I thought of leaving something that stirred the imagination.

Below, you will find 3 questions.  I’ll be doing this on Wednesday and Friday too because I thought of 3 topics.  You can answer in the comments or on your own blog depending on how much you want to say.  If you choose the latter then please link back to here, so I can find my way to it when I settle in for a lengthy email, comment, tweet, and whatever run.

This topic is: WORLD BUILDING

  1. If you could create a fictional ‘world’, what would it be like?  Would it be similar to Earth or entirely different?  (This doesn’t only mean fantasy worlds.  For example, you can be a crime book author and describe your version of Miami.)
  2. How would your ‘world’ differ from the real world?  If many differences then what would be the two biggest ones?
  3. What kind of stories would occur in your ‘world’?

Just have fun with it.  Use this to show off something you have or come up with something new.

Posted in Questions 3 | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Rare Flowers of the World

Posted on July 5, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

I realized that I’m always talking about animals, which is because that’s an area of interest for me.  Yet, nature also has plenty of flowers.  I’m going to try to do a few scattered about if I can think of fun topics with them.  Today, I got curious and looked up some of the rarest flowers of the world.  Stopped myself after nine, so enjoy:

Black Bat Flower- Self-pollination and very delicate

Chocolate Cosmos- Believed to be extinct, but then rediscovered

Corpse Flower- smells like rotting flesh and blooms randomly every 3-8 years

Fire Lily- rare due to modern agricultural practices

Franklin Tree Flower- Extinct in the wild, but cultivated for lawn ornamentation

Ghost Orchid- Critically endangered due to poaching, climate change, and habitat destruction

Middlemist’s Red Camellia- WORLD’S RAREST FLOWER WITH ONLY TWO DOCUMENTED EXAMPLES

Night-Blooming Cereus- Hard to find and slow growth

Youtan Poluo- Said to bloom only once every 3,000 years

Posted in Animal Posts | Tagged , , , , , | 14 Comments

Goal Post: A Week of Missing Rest

Posted on July 4, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

So, this was the week between end of the school year and the start of summer school.  I got my schedule and it isn’t bad, but I’m still going to be tired.  My hope was to relax, write, and get some big things done.  Once next week starts, I’m going to be struggling to set appointments and events.  Unlike the regular school year, I don’t get paid for any days that I’m out.  No sick days or PTO this time.  I’m already having to give up one day and will probably have to give up at least one more.  Really hoping to minimize the loss of the money I typically use for an end of summer father/son trip.

All of that isn’t to say I got nothing done.  I did manage to write the prologue and chapter one of Darwin & the Deadland Queen.  Took me longer than I expected to get back into the flow. Still needing to take long pauses after 10-15 minutes to ward off the brain fog stemming from my stress.  Well, it’s either brain fog or my brain keeps wanting to go back and redo things.  Maybe I’m just more meticulous and paranoid about what I’m doing, so I write slower.  I also needed to check Darwin’s spell list, Darwin & the Joy Path, and a few other resources for continuity.  Still, I got 5 sections done and hope to get at least half of chapter 2 done this weekend.

We’ve been battling a heatwave here for a few days, which I know is nothing compared to other regions.  Still, I don’t do well in the heat, so I had to struggle with running errands that I didn’t get to earlier in the week.  Today is supposed to be the last of the rough ones and then a week of rain.  I’m still going to try to go out for an hour this afternoon for the Pokemon event, but I’m going to stick to the side of the park with a lot of shade.  I have two water bottles in the fridge and will pick up instant ice packs to use.  Definitely not going to push myself too hard.  If I have to come home after 30 minutes then that’s what it will be.  Tomorrow will be easier, but no event means I don’t have to go out if I don’t feel up to it.

Another reason I didn’t get more writing done was that I had my son for the week.  I didn’t plan on this, but it happened.  He had his art lessons and other activities, but we still wanted to do things together.  Watching movies, playing Pokemon Go, and teaching him a variety of life skills.  That last part took more time than I expected and we’ll have to go over things again. It was really just chores and shopping on a budget, but those are important to learn.  This coming week is when I leave a task list for him, so we’ll see how that goes.

This coming week is also the 10th anniversary Pokemon Go-Fest, which means there are events every evening.  My son wants to go to them and I promised I would do my best, but I’m also trying to get some appointments in there too.  This aren’t easy to set up for reasons I can’t get into, especially since summer school starts and that might require some extra set up time.  Not a good week to have appointments popping up.  Anyway, this will culminate in the big Go-Fest next weekend, which runs from 10AM-7PM on Saturday and Sunday.   I have my son for it too, so we’re planning on having fun.  Though, we’re still working on how to figure out lunch.

My hope is that I can tinker with Coven of the Gray when I have some time this week, but Darwin & the Deadland Queen might get some attention.  It really depends on how things go after school.  If I only get the next two sections done then I’m not going to worry too much.  It’s a decent place to pause for a week.  I still don’t know how easy it will be to write on weekdays since I might be exhausted.  Days when I have my son won’t be writing ones either because we’ll have things to do.  Oh well, I’ll be happy if I can get half of the book done before the school year starts in August.  I might even do some book writing during the father/son trip since he’s bringing his computer to do art lessons when we want to rest.

Goals of the week:

  1. Spend time with son.
  2. Start summer school with positivity.
  3. Eat lighter lunches as often as possible.  Need more yogurt.
  4. Enjoy Go-Fest activities.
  5. Handle appointments if they pop up.
  6. Work on Darwin & the Deadland Queen.  Should it be ‘Deadland’ or ‘Deadlands’?  First version sounds better.
  7. Tinker with Coven of the Gray.
  8. Stay cool in the heatwave and dry when the rains appear.
  9. Look out the window to see fireworks, go ‘wow’, and then get back to writing.
  10. Puzzle time to relax.
Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Fun With Food In Fiction

Posted on July 3, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on June 9, 2014.)

Alice in Wonderland

Alice in Wonderland

One thing I’ve seen brought up a lot when it comes to adventure fantasy is: what and when do the characters eat?  Oddly enough, you don’t see meals that often and the heroes never go hungry unless it’s essential to the plot.  Starvation and hunting are very useful plot points to show how difficult it is to survive in the wild.  Yet, it’s almost a passing thought and you don’t see it delved into.

In a series that I’m still reading through, Ranger’s Apprentice, there are several times where the characters talk over coffee.  I use something similar where meals are the backdrop for important meetings.  I can never say my heroes go hungry unless Luke does his thing that can burn through most of his caloric intake.  There are points where I think I overuse the setting, but it does make sense.  Preparing or in the middle of an adventure, the break you take to talk is a time to eat too.  Not much different from the real world.  We celebrate events with food, have food at meetings, and even give away some food as prizes or thank yous.  You do get a cookie for giving blood, right?

Personally, I see food in fiction as another window into the world.  If your story is on Earth then you can look up real dishes that relate to your characters’ cultures and locations.  If your story is another world then you can go wild.  A fish that’s as spicy as a ghost pepper?  Apples that can satisfy you for an entire day?  Everyone living creature (and unliving) eat something, so it’s an area that is worthwhile investigating.  The scenes where they come up can be used for character development too.  For example, Nyx loves spicy food and Sari isn’t too big a fan of seafood.

So, what do other people think of food or eating being included in stories?

Posted in Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Poetry Day: The Pixian Parade

Posted on July 2, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

D&D Pixie

(A fun parade of fae.  I forgot the inspiration of it, but I think it comes from a really old story I used to read as a kid.  It wasn’t pixies though.  Think it was animals.)

Deep within the Grimjaw Forest
At the stroke of dawn
As the light beats on the dewdrops
Tiny forms take flight
Preparing for the work ahead
All have roles to play

 

Ferrying light to the shadows
Red-winged Brattins dart
Gorks whirl with bodies clad in fur
Clearing dust left by night
The Pixian cleaning crew toils
Until they tire out

 

Wings of sapphire and amber
Beat the morning air
The noble Tzarkas have arrived
To bloom the flowers
And awaken the early songs
Of sparrows and wrens

 

Others join the Pixian crew
Lazy, pink Sindels
Sneering at the hyper Flyntiks
Wingless Hults on foot
Silver Minjits and purple Karks
Each to play a part

 

Viewing from her throne of birchwood
Crystal wings spread wide
The high queen pixie sits alone
Forced to merely watch
Overseer of her people
Who toil beneath her

 

The Pixian Parade plays on
Work turns into fun
Lasting until the sun goes down
And a scream cuts through
Time of pixies ends for the day
Banshees rule the night

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Do Artists Have To Be Tortured?

Posted on July 1, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

(Originally posted on February 12, 2013.)

There seems to be a sense that a true artist is drunk, drugged, or nucking futs.  It’s almost as if there is a grand tradition of self-destructive and mentally abusive behavior within artists.  Edgar Allan Poe is a great example. He was an amazing author, but he is depicted as mentally unstable and drunk.  Whether this is true or an exaggeration is beside the point here.  The point is that it feels like this has become the ‘norm’ in many people’s minds.

I’ve been like this in that I make jokes that I’d be a successful author if I drank more or if I was institutionalized, but this usually said in jest or to get startled expressions.  I have no intention of entering the bottle or signing up to get put into a straitjacket.  I’d still be writing, but I wouldn’t be the same.  Sure, I have bouts with depression that can be crippling at times, but that doesn’t mean an artist has to be tortured.  I know many artists who are the epitome of sane and they’re still successful.  Sadly, I also know a lot of people who see me as an artist and take it upon themselves to ‘protect’ me from the trade.  They see my writing as a hobby that shouldn’t be taken seriously or a path that will only lead to pain and self-destruction.  I don’t believe I’ve ever done anything to earn this mentality, but they still watch me for signs of a alcoholism or mental instability.  True, I’m in therapy alongside my wife right now and I was in therapy for feeling like I was about to snap and kill someone in high school.  Yet, the fact that I’ve always been aware of my mindset and limits should be a signal that I’m fully capable of controlling my inner demons, vampires, orcs, and whatever other critters are lurking in my head.

I’ve wondered if the mentality steams from the way an artist thinks.  Personally, I don’t think the way non-artists think and that causes an odd barrier.  I can’t get excited about math and computers, but I will go on like a man possessed about writing.  I look at situations and try to stare down the road for possible problems instead of handling the here and now.  My side of a debate tends to be more than the simple ‘I’m for it/I’m against it’ mentality that many people have.  I talk about things that are beyond the physical world, artistic vision, and other things that someone who isn’t artistic considers odd.  Yet, I don’t really think this is enough to brand me as a candidate for any number of mental illnesses and an inevitable self-destruction.

So, where does the idea that an artist is tortured and unhinged come from?

Posted in Thoughts | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Teaser Tuesday: Within The Orchard Fog

Posted on June 30, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Here’s another teaser from Charms of the Feykin.  I loved writing this orchard scene because it was so vivid in my mind.

Continue reading →

Posted in Charms of the Feykin, Legends of Windemere, Teaser Tuesday | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Summer Plans!

Posted on June 29, 2026 by Charles Yallowitz

Summer break has started, which means I have to decide on what I’m going to do for the next two months.  Life has been chaotic since January though, which means all of this is in the ‘hope’ category.  Still dealing with that life event too, so I don’t think I can make any big plans:

  1. Time with son when possible.
  2. Start writing Darwin & the Deadland Queen.
  3. Work summer school.
  4. Enjoy Pokemon Go-Fest.
  5. Take daily walks.
  6. Remember to use sunscreen and hydrate this time.
  7. Work on outlines for future stories.
  8. Jigsaw puzzles for screen break.
  9. If possible: Take a trip somewhere with my son.
  10. Set up September blog posts.  Think about the October theme since ‘Monster Maker’ isn’t an option.  Might repost Windemere Monster posts.
  11. Catch up on sleep when possible.
  12. Addition: Custody situation and all of its fallout, which will probably affect the previous items.

What’s everyone else hoping to accomplish?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 15 Comments