Testing the Blurb for ‘War of Nytefall: Eulogy’

Cover Art by Alison Hunt

Pretty much what the title says.  I wrote up the blurb for ‘War of Nytefall: Eulogy’ yesterday and played around with it.  Think the more I do these, the more I hate doing them.  It’s rough trying to entice a reader without spoiling anything, especially for a final volume.  Anyway, let me know what you think:

*****

On the cusp of peace, Clyde will face his darkest challenge.

With the Dawn Fangs’ existed exposed, the time for negotiations has begun. Mortal rulers and the council of Nytefall will gather to discuss terms, but chaos is already stirring. It does not take long for Clyde’s dream to become a nightmare as villages are slaughtered by a Dawn Fang who looks and acts like the newly crowned Vampire King. Bodies of friends and enemies pile up as this mysterious imposter shows the mortals why they should fear Clyde. Will Clyde’s final adventure see his dream of peace be destroyed?

The truth will be more horrifying than the Dawn Fangs ever imagined.

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Immortal Wars: Light, Blood, & Tears Part 37

(Disclaimer: A warning to those who continue.  This is a sequel to a previous story.  Both of these were written in the mid-1990’s.  While the first one was slightly edited and vanity press published, this one has not been touched in over 20 years.  I figure I should do something with it and people may get a laugh or fright from how I used to be.  Every author comes from somewhere, so this is part of my origin.  To that end, I am deeply sorry for whatever nightmares I will inflict on the literary world and the American English language.  Enjoy?)

PREVIOUS ENTRY CLICK HERE

When the two beaten immortals wake up, the first thing they notice is that there is nothing solid under their feet.  They have been tied together, facing each other, and are hanging from a large hook in the window-covered ceiling.  The enormous room, that is forty feet below them, has several shining suits of medieval armor and ancient weapons.  Next to the captives is a long, sharp lance that a mounted knight, on a marble pedestal, is holding up.

“This isn’t going under one of my best weeks.  Do you think he found our weapons?” asks Adriana as she struggles against the thick, glowing ropes.

“He did.  They’re over by that red-armored knight and the war-horse armor.  I think he might want to use them or let us use them in a fight.  Would you stop struggling?  It’s totally useless.  These ropes are made of energy draining fibers,” replies Fate, who is looking for another way out.

“That does explain their pink glow.  I wonder if your present is still in the dinosaur exhibit.”

“Would you forget about the damn present!  We’re about to be painfully tortured and killed.  What is in that box that seems to be more important than your life?”

“I can’t tell you exactly what’s in it.  Don’t roll your eyes at me, Slane.  All I will say is that it is something special that I have to get rid of before I leave this planet.  Now, it isn’t a cursed object or a new kind of spy sensor.  But it is about time that I gave this. . . soul-soother to another weary warrior.  That weary warrior is you.  So, let’s kill Draveon first and then go open your present.”

“At least, we can agree on killing Draveon.  Any ideas on how to cut these ropes while we have the strength of a weakened mortal?”  Fate tries to pull a knife out of one of his boots, but it only lightly passes under his fingertips.  Adriana, meanwhile, is pressing her arms against her chest and trying to use her teeth to pull something out of her skin-tight shirt.  Instead, she accidentally bangs her forehead against Fate’s chin.

“Damn it, Fate!  Move out of my way!”

“I’d love to, but I can’t.  My dagger is just out of my reach.  Uh, why are you doing that?” Fate whispers as Adriana continues pressing her chest.  The disappearing sunlight suddenly bounces off a tiny bit of metal between her breasts.

“Doing what?”

“You’re pressing your arms against your chest.  Why?”

“Because I’m desperate and lonely.  What the hell do you think I’m doing, Mars guardian?  I put a small knife in my uniform top.  Of course, it slipped too far down for me to get at it with my own teeth.  The next time I keep a knife or dagger in here, I’m going to have to remember to wear a damn bra.”

“That’ll be a first.”

“Shut up, Eddie.  Now, whose knife is the easiest to get a hold of?  You can’t get your foot close to either of my hands, so you’re basically useless.  Well, I guess there’s only one thing to do.  Were you ever any good at bobbing for apples?  Or should I say knives.”

“No way!  I am not going to put my mouth anywhere on your body.  I don’t even know where in the universe you’ve been.”

“That makes two of us.  Look, I don’t like this any more than you do.  I mean, I severely don’t like this idea.  But we have no more options that I can think of.  You get the knife and use it to cut through the rope.  Then we simply plummet to the ground, get our weapons, and wait for Draveon to return.  So start using that mouth of yours for more than an insult spewing hole and get that knife,” orders Adriana.  Taking a deep breath, Fate tries to get the hilt of the knife between his teeth.  All he can accomplish is tapping the weapon’s smooth hilt with his tongue.  At one desperate point, the Mars guardian misses the knife and bites Adriana in the chest, but she barely seems to notice the twinge of pain.  In fact, she seems to enjoy it.

The sweat-covered knife is just in his mouth’s reach when Adriana suddenly starts moaning, “Yes.  Don’t stop.”

“Hey!  Do you mind not doing that!  It’s disturbing!” yells Fate when he jerks his face out of her cleavage.

“Sorry about that.  Force of habit.  Although, you do have a very nice technique.  Miracle is really lucky to have a guy like you.  But you really shouldn’t have stopped trying because you almost had it.  I promise that I will not do any more moaning and groaning.  At least, not out loud.  Just try again.”  Fate closes his eyes and works a lot faster this time.  In a few long, tortuous minutes, the blue-eyed guardian pulls out a small, golden knife.

“Was it as good for you as it was for me?” laughs the blond villain as Fate starts to cut through the pink rope.  When he hears the joke, Fate shoots his head up to glare at her.  But the knife accidentally cuts into Adriana’s neck and it leaves a quickly healed wound.  She curses a blue streak at him and kicks the Mars guardian repeatedly in the shins.

“Cut it out!” Fate yells.  But once his mouth opens to yell, the golden knife falls all the way to the ground.

The immortals are silent until Adriana says, “What do we do now?  Without anything to cut through this rope, we might as well be a side of beef in a meat locker.  What are you staring at?”

“I think I know of a way down if we finally have some luck.  Since we aren’t fighting each other, our immortality should help us out of this mess.  Can you see that lance behind you?  Just twist your neck to the right and you’ll see it,” responds Fate, who is starting to swing them back and forth.  His eyes turn a bright yellow as his luck powers are slowly turned on.

“Yeah.  I’ve seen bigger and better in my time.  What’s so important about that obsolete, medieval weapon?  Oh no!”

“It’s sharp and can easily cut through the rope.  We can slide down it as soon as it frees us.  Although, the lance will probably go straight through our abdomens.  Either way we cut the rope.  Do you understand?”

“Go for it, partner.  I’ve been put through a lot worse on this trip than simply being impaled by a sharp object.”

They begin swinging back and forth at a faster pace and the lance eventually slices through the pinkish rope and both of the captives feel it pass through their tense bodies.  As they painfully slide down the weapon, it begins to shake and bend.  When they’re halfway down, the lance falls out of the silver knight’s hand and crashes to the hard floor.  The next ten minutes are spent getting the lance out of them and healing major injuries.

“Ouch and a half.  Is that your large intestine or mine?” Adriana inquires as she gets her staff and charges the soft, blue light to full strength.

“Must be yours.  I still have mine.  So, should we stay here or hide somewhere else?” answers Fate.  Adriana uses the Venus weapon to heal them, so the only sign of the injuries are the gaping holes in their uniforms.

“Damn it.  The uniform’s repairing fibers are damaged.  What do you mean stay or hide?  I can’t believe you have to actually ask that question.  Besides, I know the perfect ambush area.  Come on, lucky guardian.  This will all be over within a couple of long, painful hours.  And don’t expect it to be even close to easy.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

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Using Giant Monsters in Books

Godzilla

There have been times when I’ve used a huge monster in my stories.  Legends of Windemere had dragons and various giant species.  War of Nytefall had vampirized giants and other massive beasts.  They were fun to write, but I always wondered if I did them justice.  After all, they depend a lot on suspension of disbelief and the audience’s imagination.

Television, video games, and movies have it much easier.  They show you how big these creatures are, so everyone gets the same visual.  There’s no questioning how big Godzilla is because you see him there.  When show in contrast to people and cities, you get a sense of how dangerous it is to be around him.  It’s instinctive in a way since we’re working entirely off our senses.  Our imagination doesn’t have to put much effort into crafting the scene since it’s right in front of us.  Sadly, books don’t have this luxury.

Authors have to craft the scene and stir the imagination to bring these monsters to life, which can dance around the ‘show don’t tell’ accusation.  To some extent, you have to tell the person that this threat is BIG.  Showing that they are through actions and adjectives doesn’t always work.  Sometimes you simply have to say ‘the giant dragon’ and beat the reader over the head with the fact that this thing is massive.  Otherwise, you get a few people who downplay the scale in their mind and that can change the way that the scene works.  Part of is that because everyone has their own definition of what constitutes a huge monster.  One person may think elephant while another one thinks skyscraper even if the story gives hints of size.

I try my best to describe my giants with terms that make it clear that they’re big. If they’re in a forest or city then I make sure to note that things are getting damaged as they move around.  Objects that are typically impossible to move are thrown or knocked around like they’re made of paper.  For example, a wagon or shed getting hurled across a clearing can be a good indicator of size.  Having someone view them from a distance and note how they tower over nearby things helps.  Describe the setting in a way that focuses on how everything around the giant appears smaller and fragile.  Combining these tricks should help in getting the point across.

With fantasy, I believe giant beasts are a staple whether it be humanoid, demon, dragon, trees, or golems.  Even mythology used giants because there’s something epic about facing an opponent that is bigger than anything natural.  I’ve seen people try to steer away from these monsters because they aren’t scientifically sound.  Yet, that’s part of what makes them frightening.  You know they aren’t able to exist in reality, but here they are in this fantasy world.  It makes them more mysterious and unnatural, so you can’t even be sure they can be killed the same way.  This is probably just me though.

So, what do you think of giant monsters?  Ever use them or do you avoid them?

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#Newbook – No Such Luck by Staci Troilo – Romance Novella 99¢

I am very excited to have Staci Troilo visit Fiction Favorites today. She is a Story Empire fellow team member, a very talented editor, and a best-…

#Newbook – No Such Luck by Staci Troilo – Romance Novella 99¢
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Teaser Tuesday: A Sadistic Father’s Tears

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

This excerpt from Legends of Windemere: Warlord of the Forgotten Age comes really close to spoiler territory.  Have to wonder what comes next since it doesn’t cross that line.  Enjoy!

Continue reading

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The Massive Monster Mart

Monster Size Chart from D&D

Welcome to our island chain store.  Yes, I know we only have one island, but there are hundreds across the world.  You can’t create giant monsters in city limits or the suburbs without getting into trouble.  Best to keep them isolated and let the customer be responsible for all damages.  Oh, sign this waiver before we begin.  It’s exactly what you think it is and more.

Now, here is our size list.  We don’t sell anything smaller than a two-story house, which doesn’t count tall hair or horns.  It’s from sole of the foot to top of the skull, so anything over that isn’t included in the size.  Of course, putting too much on the head of even one of our creatures will cause balance issues.  Not to mention the neck snapping and we don’t provide refunds after the final sale.  I see you’re on the Empire State Building example, which is our best seller.  Many go for the Shanghai Tower package, but they inevitably return to get a smaller model.  The reason is because the monster requires too much maintenance and there’s no way to hide it again once it’s been released.  The ESB is huge, but can be stashed in a variety of locations found within your average city.  Invisibility isn’t an option here.  Sorry.

Let’s talk about species. For obvious reasons, apes and dinosaurs are popular.  Wolves are common for our northern customers while squids are a favorite of those who are focused on the sea.  We are currently out of sharks due to another movie being made.  You can combine up to four beasts using this chart.  The divisions are head, torso, extremities, and tail.  I will warn you that we do not prevent our customers from crafting faulty beasts.  For example, a large chicken that only breathes through gills and has barbed tails.  Such a creature would suffocate out of the water and the feathers would hamper swimming.  In other words, choose your pieces carefully.  Okay, you will have the grizzly bear body with an alligator’s tail, limbs of a gibbon, and head of a condor.

Finally, we have special additions that don’t normally come from the pieces that you have just chosen.  Think of this as the miscellaneous category.  As you can see, the book is big enough to cover that entire table.  Seems one of our employees got crushed underneath it too.  Mop and bucket in the special additions room!  Do you have anything in mind?  A blast of lava from the mouth is possible.  We will have to charge extra to reinforce the digestive system to protect it from burning.  A fan on the end of the tail . . . We can work something out.  Waterproof the fur, webbed extremities, heat vision, and a single bellybutton harpoon.  Strange combination, but all of those are on our list.  Sorry, but we don’t have any regeneration abilities.  If your monster loses a part or needs repairs then you will have to bring them back here.

Well, that covers all of the basics and extras.  As you can see, giant monsters aren’t as complicated to build as one thinks.  The real challenge is in crafting the proper origin to explain it’s existence.  Please follow one of our free range, coffee-fueled authors to the back room and they will help you with that.  It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not.  Most people will be too busy running to correct you, but it helps to be prepared.  Thank you for your business.

Posted in Olde Shoppe Stories | Tagged , , , , , , | 15 Comments

1984?

Hello SE friends, Gwen with you today, and I’ve an unusual topic to share. It was generated by recent comments made by neighbors, friends, and family…

1984?
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A Dwindling Idea that Keeps Hanging On

Neon Genesis Evangelion

The above picture is from an anime that I really liked in my 20’s.  I haven’t watched it in a long time, but I remember it fondly.  That’s weird because it’s a really messed up anime by the end.  That part aside, I was inspired to design my own story that was similar to this and . . . Well, this is what I remember.

I had it take place on Earth after the entire planet became polluted.  Humans did something that awakened these giant beasts that contaminated the environment and fed off the toxins.  A few colonies survived within domes that are under constant attack from the beasts and mutated wildlife.  Occasionally, they manage to erect new ones, but that’s rare because the crew are typically attacked within 24 hours of starting.  So, humans are facing extinction since it’s only a matter of time before the domes fail.  Yeah, I’ve seen this setting turn up a lot.

The only defense is something new coming out of one colony.  Soulless beasts (chariots) have been found and a machine was made for a person, typically a child, to put their souls into the empty husk.  Once inside, they can attack and kill the pollution-creating monsters with the hope that eliminating them would purify the planet.  I based each beast off a mythological creature too.  Think there were 4-5 of them.  All I really remember is that I had one called Gullinbursti after the Norse boar.

The characters . . . I remember a girl who was immune to the toxin.  There was a boy who was just learning how to use his chariot.  A snobby girl and a nerdy boy were in there too at some point.  I think there were a bunch of adults as well.  The thing is that I really did carbon copies of the Evangelion characters, which is all I can remember.  Think there was a twist at the end . . . Time for me to fess up.

‘Chariots of the Soul’ keeps getting added to my ‘Works in Progress’ list, but I can’t find the notes.  There are scraps of ideas, but the original stuff hasn’t been located yet.  Not that it would help me out much.  I discovered enough to show I had begun working on a way to bring the concept to Windemere, but everything ended in question marks.  This was from a time period where I was desperately outlining and writing notes at jobs that were eating away at my soul.  There wasn’t any time to write, so I did this and jammed the notes into the nearest folder.

From what I can gather, I was going to have the story take place on an island that is polluted from people digging up treasure.  This reduces the scale of both the story and the terrain though.  I’m thinking now that I have the dome be over the hole and those who live there do so to stop the beasts from getting out.  The chariots can be constructs that the heroes use and take into an underground realm where they take on whatever is down there.  Guess the goal would be to find a way to permanently seal the hole and discover what exactly they uncovered.  Does this make any sense?

Strangest thing is that I keep putting it in my superhero list, but they should probably be with the organizations.  Creating a group around this issue can help to expand on Windemere’s overall society.  Maybe I can connect it to a kingdom that was looking for resources.  I could also have it be one of the races that lacks a capital/kingdom, which is why they were digging around.

Personally, I don’t think I can have this go for longer than a book.  It would run like Quest of the Brokenhearted with each chapter involving a monster or some type of challenge.  It could be a short story set up too.  This is why I needed to do a post like this.  Helps clear my head because hitting ‘Schedule’ makes me take it seriously.

Doesn’t help with one pain in the ass series, but you can’t win them all.

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Goal Post: At Least I Have Legos

I’d say I’ll save the Legos for the end, but I’m sure people will just skip to the Slideshow to see what I made.  Hope people come back to here.

Not that I have a lot to talk about.  The week was entirely about work and helping my son studying for tests.  The hardest part was that my son had Election Day and Diwali off, but I didn’t.  I know it is what it is, but it bummed me out a bit.  This was made worse by all of my time with him revolving around studying.  He passed everything and even got 100 on one of them, so it was worth the work.  The stress was a lot on us though, so we had plenty of rough patches.  I ended every day collapsing on my bed and watching the new season of ‘Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure’.

I covered a lot in one paragraph.  Wait.  HALLOWEEN!  I can’t show a picture of my son in his costume for reasons.  Only on sites where I can lock out most people who follow, so this ain’t it.  His costume was a combo where he wore the clothes for Kakahis from ‘Naruto’ and the hat/antlers of Tony Tony Chopper from ‘One Piece’:

Kakashi

Tony Tony Chopper

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It was a great combo and he had a blast, especially when he got to trick or treat with his baby cousin.  She’s 13 months and dressed a witch.  She only made it around the block, so my son and I did the rest on our own.  He ended the outing with 3 bags worth of candy before going to his mom’s for the rest of the holiday.  Kid is set for candy until next Halloween.

Writing-wise, I haven’t gotten anywhere with anything.  I hope to finish the December posts this weekend and then work on the War of Nytefall: Eulogy blurb when I get a chance.  I have 7 posts to do without counting the teasers.  I’m still deciding on if I should set those up now or wait until the book is out.  Then again, that’s during Hanukkah and I might be too busy.  Probably best to set it up now and add the links once the book is live.  It’s going to be a low key release too because I’m not getting many volunteers and things are too busy for me to go crazy.  Maybe I should be happy with just releasing books and hoping people stumble onto them.

Nothing else is going on here.  Sorry that I’m so boring or I can’t talk about the big events due to privacy issues.  Really wish I could vent about some things without causing trouble for myself.  Guess that’s life.  This time of year tends to get iffy with the weather changes, holidays, and busy work schedule too.  Tests too.  My son has one more to go before the end of the quarter and it’s the toughest subject: math.  I’ll find some way to celebrate him doing well next weekend.

Goals of the week:

  1. Finish December promo posts.
  2. Help my son with schoolwork.
  3. Take him on an adventure on Thursday.
  4. Watch TV
  5. Puzzles
  6. Pizza
  7. Sleep if possible
  8. Holiday shopping?
  9. Contemplate the point of existence.
  10. Post a slideshow of my Lego project:

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

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The Limitations of Zany Series and Stories

Bugs Bunny

The biggest danger with writing a series that is designed to be crazy and off-the-wall is that you can easily go too far.  You feel like you have to up the insanity with every episode or chapter, which eventually hits a point of incoherency.  Nothing will make sense and most of the audience will drop out.  After all, why continue watching when the rules are broken and the story no longer makes sense?  Better to stop, especially if the experience is no longer funny.

One thing to realize is that crazy antics are to comedy what gore is to horror.  They require a little bit of shock to hit their target.  If you see them coming then they lose some of their impact.  Doing both too often can result in desensitization, which means the audience has no reaction.  They will expect things to go wild, so there’s no longer any tension that can help in getting people to laugh.  Imagine if Bugs Bunny spent 10 minutes doing the same anvil gag to Yosemite Sam.  It wouldn’t be long before you go ‘here goes the anvil’ and roll your eyes.

Another limit is that the craziness can overshadow the story and run it off course.  A writer might think a joke is going to be amazing.  They could very well be right.  Unfortunately, this can come with a sacrifice.  If a character is a target of the gag then it might be hard for them to stay in their role, especially if it was a serious one.  The crazy can ruin the mood of a scene if it required the tension.  Depending on the story’s baseline coherency, you might not have this problem.  Yet, any level of seriousness can take a hit if a joke is timed incorrectly.

As usual, comedy is subjective, so you aren’t going to amuse everyone with every gag.  A reader might enjoy the 4th wall breaking, but be turned off by the slapstick.  Others will get confused by the puns because they don’t understand them.  It helps to have a variety of humor sources to appease multiple groups.  They will scowl at the ones that aren’t for them, but switching up enough will get the point across that there’s something for everyone.  Well, people who are interested in a serious story might have to go elsewhere until they’re in the mood for crazy.

A final limitation is that you cannot predict if people will get a joke.  It could fall completely flat outside of your own mind or social circle.  The further it travels from you, the higher the risk of it running into someone who doesn’t get it.  Never take this to heart or try to explain the joke.  Similar to magic tricks, explaining things will only do damage, especially if other people are paying attention.  This might work for puns, but that’s a stretch too.

What limits do you think a crazy, zany, wild story has?

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