Dylan’s Diner: Magical Meals for Every Time of Day

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Welcome. Do you want a table or a booth?  Just follow me and I’ll get you set up with water and a bread basket.  Here are some menus with explanations of what each of our meals can do.  If you want, this is a list of our popular items since the real menu is the size of a windshield and has five pages.  I’ll be back in 5 minutes to see if you need more time, but feel free to rudely wave me off for doing my job.  Enjoy.

Breakfast

  • Pancakes–  Grants power of levitation, but skin changes color depending on the combination of spread (syrup, butter, jelly, etc.) and type (chocolate, blueberry, birthday, etc.)
  • Waffles–  Grants power to enlarge hands in order to hold anything.  Fingers become sticky, so it is difficult to drop things.
  • French Toast–  Ability to emit a spray of powdered sugar from your mouth.  Can happen while speaking.
  • Crepes– Grants power to turn anything into a warm blanket.  Be careful around loved ones.
  • Bagels–  No powers.  You’re obviously too busy for shenanigans.
  • Omelet– Grants ability to make yourself look younger for an hour at a time.  You will easily get sunburned and cooked in direct sunlight.

Appetizers

  • Mozzarella Sticks– Gain stretching powers, but the limb or whatever is being extended will be flabby.  Difficult to retract.
  • Potato Skins– Split yourself into two semi-identical parts.  The newly sprouted side will have some movement issues.
  • Calamari–  Grow tentacles.  Not allowed to go to anime conventions, anime stores, or Japan while power activated.  (If you don’t know why then it’s better that way.)
  • Chicken Fingers–  Grow chicken fingers.  Not the fingers of chickens, but fingers that are small chickens with beaks.
  • Mac & Cheese– Grants a melted cheese form similar to a slime monster.  Not sanitary.

Lunch

  • Burgers–  Gain the strength of the ‘animal’ the burger was made from.  Our choices are turkey, chicken, cow, bison, and veggie.  Downside is self-explanatory.
  • Reuben– Gives the power of x-ray vision.  You smell and taste delicious to the point carnivores will try to take a bite.
  • One of Sandwiches Named after a Celebrity–  Grants ability to transform into that celebrity.  Oh, you will definitely get sued if you use this power for evil.
  • Grilled Cheese– Can swing arms to slash any material in half.  You will forever believe that diagonal cuts mean bigger pieces than vertical/horizontal.
  • Chicken Wrap–  Enhanced sense of taste.  You will know exactly what is floating in the air around you.
  • Cubano Panini– Grants ability to emit sonic blasts from mouth.  They’re burps.
  • Gyros–  Grants ability to fold anything perfectly.  Recommended for those who have to fold fitted sheets.  No downside.

Dinner

  • Meatloaf– Grants the ability to create category one hurricanes with a clap.  We have no idea why and can’t get the power to change.  Maybe it’s the mashed potatoes.
  • Seafood– Ability to summon a vehicle that allows you pass easily through traffic.  It’s an ambulance.  Seriously, order the seafood at your own risk.
  • Lobster–  Separate because we have them in a tank.  Grants ability to turn into a lobster . . . Yeah, that would worry me too.
  • Chicken Parmigiana– Can understand every spoken and written language.  Cannot stop yourself from arguing pronunciations and spellings of words.
  • Penne ala Vodka–  Grants immunity from getting drunk.  Does not stop your bladder and stomach from going into overdrive after drinking too much.
  • Steak–  Grants the ability to use fire magic.  Power of flames depends entirely on how cooked your steak was.  Most people don’t get a lot of out this one.
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WRITERS AND BETA READERS

Hi SEers! Denise here to talk about using beta readers once the story is written and given a polish. I wrote my first couple of books with no …

WRITERS AND BETA READERS
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Poetry Day: Didn’t I Just Bathe You?

It’s true

(This one is about parenting.  Obviously.  Thankfully, my son was never this destructive in a short amount of time.  He was too meticulous and carefully in his messes.)

It has only been ten minutes

Since you were rinsed and scrubbed

I dried you off and diapered you

Leaving you with mom

I went to get your bottle

That you have before you sleep

Yet your hair is all in tangles

And your feet begin to stink

I see toilet paper in place of pants

And a toothbrush in your shirt

I see mud upon your shins and knees

Where did you even find the dirt?

There is shaving cream around your belly

And a diaper is your hat

I wonder how you did this

When I left you so pristine

Somehow you have ruined my work

In such a tiny time

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How Can Dumb Defeat Smart?

One Piece

So, we talked about smart characters on Monday.  Today, we’re going to talk about the opposite side of the coin.  Not in how to write them, but in how they can be the ones to come up on top.  Many people act like ‘dumb’ characters will always lose against smart ones, but that isn’t always the case.  How?

Much of it comes down to personality and habits.  Just look at how they are depicted in fiction:

Smart–  Thinking several steps ahead of everyone and taking into account every logical possibility.  They are knowledgeable and able to use what they have learned or figured out to solve nearly every problem.  If they run into something new, they eventually adapt and become a master of it unless the plot says otherwise.

‘Dumb‘- Don’t really know what is going on, but they are following what their smarter allies are doing.  If they don’t have that then they are following their instincts.  Whatever seems right, they’ll do it unless a trusted person says otherwise.  Even then, they are prone to be unpredictable and come up with their own paths of logic even adapting on the fly.

See the words that are bolded?  These two types of characters work off different sources.  A ‘dumb’ character isn’t usually a true, helpless idiot too.  They are the impulsive and simple-minded ones who follow their hearts and whatever ideas they come up with.  Sure, they can be outsmarted, especially in a prolonged fight, but they are not always destined to lose.  We like to think that way because society puts intelligence on a high pedestal to the point where it’s seen as the only mental stat worth having.  So, we overlook the ‘dumb’ people who have their own ways to succeed.

The unpredictability of a ‘dumb’ character is what can give them an edge.  The plans of smart characters try to take in every possibility, but it runs off a logical path.  A character who doesn’t act in such a way and functions off impulsive reactions will have an advantage once they shatter that plan.  People tend to expect the smart character to predict the unpredictable, but that reaches a level of author manipulation.  Even a genius can be caught by surprise by someone who doesn’t use any form of known logic.  One can also argue that you can’t predict the exact action an un predictable character will take beyond nothing it will be a surprise.

Of course, the ‘dumb’ character can be a hindrance to their own side.  Any structured plan can be destroyed by their actions.  Allies tend to factor in the surprises by using this person as a distraction or leaving a lot of opens for adjustments.  Of course, these adjustments take time, especially if one needs to communicate.  So, the ‘dumb’ character will be able to move and act faster than changes can be activated.  This is why many stories will have these characters end up on their own while the rest of the heroes go off to do whatever they need to do.

Will it usually be the ‘dumb’ defeating the smart?  That really depends on who the author favors.  Many treat smart characters as perfect and able to change plans in an instant, which makes them unbelievable.  Just like with a ‘dumb’ character who always gains victory by being random.  So, their strengths also have to be played off as weaknesses at times to prevent them from being seen as infallible.  This is why it pays to have these characters in the same story because an author who doesn’t play favorites can their differences to make them deeper.

So, what do you think of ‘dumb’ characters defeating the smart?

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Wednesday – A Look at The Last Drive Reviews.

The reviews for The Last Drive continue to be posted. I appreciate those who take the time to read and review my books. Since Amazon takes a dim view…

Wednesday – A Look at The Last Drive Reviews.
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How to Use Prologues, Part 12, Summary

Image courtesy of Tumisu via Pixabay Hi SErs! It’s a day of Harmony here at Story Empire 🙂 Today, as promised, we’re here to close up this series on…

How to Use Prologues, Part 12, Summary
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Teaser Tuesday: Collison of Monsters

Cover Art by Alison Hunt

Let’s jump to War of Nytefall: Savagery where Clyde met a monster that could toss him around.  This was a story that I was building up to without much in the way of foreshadowing.  I knew I needed one volume where Clyde couldn’t overpower his enemy and had to withdraw to get stronger.  Otherwise, the series would get pretty stale since I could only have him outwitted so many times before he came off like an idiot.  This volume is available for $2.99 on eBook and $12.00 Paperback.  Enjoy the teaser.

Continue reading

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The Smartest Hero in the Room

Mr. Fantastic

One of the hardest characters to write may be the genius hero.  This is the one who knows about everything and supplies answers to all questions.  He might not even be in the main cast, but he’s there to make sure the audience will know what is going on.  That and to genius a solution when the other heroes are in trouble.  Doesn’t seem like that big a challenge, so why did I say it was?

First, I believe a character can’t be any smarter than its creator.  This is fairly easy to counter since authors are smart enough to craft worlds, stories, and characters out of thin air.  We aren’t idiots, so we can have a cunning and smart character, especially since we’re the ones making the problems.  This is even easier in fantasy where a genius would know about magic and a world that the audience doesn’t live in.  So, you can forge the high intelligence of a character through these technicalities and manipulations.  That seems pretty easy though.

There’s a trap in the previous benefit.  Again, the author is the one who made the challenges and is making this character to be a genius.  So, the solution may come out of contrivance instead of intelligence.  This can happen once or twice, but if they are routinely solving problems in ways that are too coincidental then they’ll stop being looked at as geniuses.  They’re no longer deep characters, but a constant ‘get out of trouble’ card for the author.  It heads into that perfect, infallible character situation that can sink even the most interesting of stories.

So, you have to figure out how to make the character smart with flaws.  This leads into a common issue:

SMUGNESS!

Whether it’s intentional or not, we have a habit of giving geniuses an air of superiority and smugness.  Even they don’t show it themselves, audiences might get this sense from the character’s actions.  For example, we tend to have the geniuses come up with the plans and solve the problems.  This can shift to a point where they don’t listen to anyone else and no other character is allowed to solve a problem.  The others can be shoved into ‘dumb by comparison’ categories and lose some of their dimensions.  They are nothing more than the tools of the genius character, who is now perceived as a smug elitist.  Even if they’re treating their allies well, the author’s refusal to let anyone else solve a problem will be a strike against them.

People also tend to assume that intelligent characters will never make a mistake.  They clearly are so smart that they’ve anticipated every action and have created a counter to all possibilities.  It’s the whole ‘Batman wins’ stuff, which tends to ignore that high intelligence doesn’t always mean high insight and wisdom.  There’s a reason intelligence and wisdom are different stats in Dungeons & Dragons.  The former deals with ability to memorize and recall information while the latter is about understanding situations and common sense.  I’ve met plenty of high IQ people who couldn’t common sense their way out of an open field.

That brings me to another challenge and maybe a mistake.  There’s a trend in fiction where a genius is always socially awkward.  This even goes to the trope of a genius character always having autism.  It’s always that ‘sexy autism’ where the person is simply socially awkward, talks fast, and fixates on whatever information is important.  Even removing the autism side, you have plenty of genius characters who aren’t good at communicating and are borderline outcasts.  This is kind of a romanticized version of geniuses where we want them to seem tortured and unique.  They can’t fit into our society because their minds are so advanced and focused on the future.  Personally, I find this to be a bunch of bullshit and a fairly frustrating trope.

So, what do you think about writing genius characters?  Any tricks you can think of?

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Writing the End – Part IV

Greetings Storytellers.  Diana here today. I’m back with more thoughts on how to end our books. So far, in this series of posts about Endings, we’ve …

Writing the End – Part IV
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The Mongolian Wild Horse: Another Story of Reintroduction

We actually have these animals at the Bronx Zoo.  They are called Mongolian Wild Horses, Przewalski’s horse, takhi, and Dzungarian horse.  Sadly, they were made extinct in the wild for the following reasons:

  • Competition with livestock.
  • Hunting . . . I guess people ate them.
  • Capturing of foals for zoos.
  • Several harsh winters.
  • Military activities in their terrain.

On the plus side, that third problem is also what is allowing them to be reintroduced into the wild.  This brings them up to critically endangered status.  They are another success story involving breeding and reintroduction.  This also makes them the only wild horse species.  Well, that and the fact that they are untamable even in captivity.  No, zebra and the like don’t count.  You can read a lot about their comeback HERE.

What are some cool facts about these horses?

  • They are actually distant cousins of domestic horses.  They share a common ancestor.
  • They have 66 chromosomes, which differs from the domestic’s 64.  This seems to allow them to produce fertile hybrids.  Typically, a hybrid cannot breed.
  • Wild horses are short and stocky with a large head.
  • They are hind-gut fermenters, which means they need to have a lot of water and low quality food.
  • Herds typically have a single stallion, but may have younger ones living on the edge of the territory.  Once they reach breeding age, they are chased out of the herd.  This is why you will also find bachelor herds.
  • N.M. Przewalski is the first person to scientifically describe this species, which is why his name is attached to them.
  • The first general documentation of these horses are rock paintings from Spain and France, which are more than 200,000 years old.
  • Wild horses have a variation of brown colors, but their bellies are always lighter colored and their backs are always darker.  They also have a zebra-like mane.
  • Currently, they are only find in reintroduction sights within Mongolia, China, and Kazahstan.
  • In order to deal with 90 mph winds, they will face away from the wind and tuck their tails between their legs.  This protects their eyes, nose, and genitals.
  •  Their greatest predator is the wolf.  Mares will create a circle around the foals to protect them since they can easily be run down.
  • Wild horses go through hypodermis in the winter.  This means their metabolism slows down, which makes them eat food at a slower rate.
  • All living wild horses are descended from a group of 13 breeding horses, which were protected when they went extinct in the wild.

Let’s look at some pictures and videos.

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