Dylan’s Diner: Magical Meals for Every Time of Day

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Welcome. Do you want a table or a booth?  Just follow me and I’ll get you set up with water and a bread basket.  Here are some menus with explanations of what each of our meals can do.  If you want, this is a list of our popular items since the real menu is the size of a windshield and has five pages.  I’ll be back in 5 minutes to see if you need more time, but feel free to rudely wave me off for doing my job.  Enjoy.


  • Pancakes–  Grants power of levitation, but skin changes color depending on the combination of spread (syrup, butter, jelly, etc.) and type (chocolate, blueberry, birthday, etc.)
  • Waffles–  Grants power to enlarge hands in order to hold anything.  Fingers become sticky, so it is difficult to drop things.
  • French Toast–  Ability to emit a spray of powdered sugar from your mouth.  Can happen while speaking.
  • Crepes– Grants power to turn anything into a warm blanket.  Be careful around loved ones.
  • Bagels–  No powers.  You’re obviously too busy for shenanigans.
  • Omelet– Grants ability to make yourself look younger for an hour at a time.  You will easily get sunburned and cooked in direct sunlight.


  • Mozzarella Sticks– Gain stretching powers, but the limb or whatever is being extended will be flabby.  Difficult to retract.
  • Potato Skins– Split yourself into two semi-identical parts.  The newly sprouted side will have some movement issues.
  • Calamari–  Grow tentacles.  Not allowed to go to anime conventions, anime stores, or Japan while power activated.  (If you don’t know why then it’s better that way.)
  • Chicken Fingers–  Grow chicken fingers.  Not the fingers of chickens, but fingers that are small chickens with beaks.
  • Mac & Cheese– Grants a melted cheese form similar to a slime monster.  Not sanitary.


  • Burgers–  Gain the strength of the ‘animal’ the burger was made from.  Our choices are turkey, chicken, cow, bison, and veggie.  Downside is self-explanatory.
  • Reuben– Gives the power of x-ray vision.  You smell and taste delicious to the point carnivores will try to take a bite.
  • One of Sandwiches Named after a Celebrity–  Grants ability to transform into that celebrity.  Oh, you will definitely get sued if you use this power for evil.
  • Grilled Cheese– Can swing arms to slash any material in half.  You will forever believe that diagonal cuts mean bigger pieces than vertical/horizontal.
  • Chicken Wrap–  Enhanced sense of taste.  You will know exactly what is floating in the air around you.
  • Cubano Panini– Grants ability to emit sonic blasts from mouth.  They’re burps.
  • Gyros–  Grants ability to fold anything perfectly.  Recommended for those who have to fold fitted sheets.  No downside.


  • Meatloaf– Grants the ability to create category one hurricanes with a clap.  We have no idea why and can’t get the power to change.  Maybe it’s the mashed potatoes.
  • Seafood– Ability to summon a vehicle that allows you pass easily through traffic.  It’s an ambulance.  Seriously, order the seafood at your own risk.
  • Lobster–  Separate because we have them in a tank.  Grants ability to turn into a lobster . . . Yeah, that would worry me too.
  • Chicken Parmigiana– Can understand every spoken and written language.  Cannot stop yourself from arguing pronunciations and spellings of words.
  • Penne ala Vodka–  Grants immunity from getting drunk.  Does not stop your bladder and stomach from going into overdrive after drinking too much.
  • Steak–  Grants the ability to use fire magic.  Power of flames depends entirely on how cooked your steak was.  Most people don’t get a lot of out this one.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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7 Responses to Dylan’s Diner: Magical Meals for Every Time of Day

  1. L. Marie says:

    You made me laugh out loud, especially the French toast, burgers, chicken fingers, chicken parmigiana, and the seafood. I’m just grateful I didn’t squirt coffee out of my nostrils. 😄 😁 😆 😅

    Now I am craving French toast

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This was hysterical, Charles. I was also reminded about the grilled cheese diagonal cut. Had many a discussion on which way was bigger.


  3. I’ll have the meatloaf. Not the meatloaf, the Meatloaf celebrity sandwich. I’m hoping to hit the highway like a battering ram on a silver/black phantom bike…


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