I’m going to try to put a little humor on a rough topic. With this week being so stressful, I felt really anxious and down. No panic attacks, but I had trouble finding the urge to do anything at night. There was a lethargy that cloaked me and I even went to bed early a few times, which is unusual. I brought these issues up to some people and most were understanding. Others seemed to be more interested in spouting advice that one swears would be found in a badly written self-help book. You know the one. It was written by a person who has never suffered from depression or anxiety, but they’ve read about it or known someone who they haven’t helped in the least. Anyway, here we go with a few laughs and I threw some serious ones in too:
This week started with a crazy event and ended with one. The first was a camper taking something that they shouldn’t have, but we don’t know who. The last one was something breaking that caused a problem for the game room. Things were broken by campers throughout the week because the heat and humidity had a lot of people acting like whirlwinds of destruction. I wish I could go into more details here, but I will say that it was a long week. Ended up forgetting lunch a few times too. My exhaustion hit a point where I simply passed out some nights and didn’t wake up until my alarm woke me. It wasn’t good sleep either.
Now, here is where some people have already run to the comments. I noticed that there are a handful of followers who only make appearances when I’m feeling down. You know, I’m going to post this for another day. I had an entire paragraph here and I’m going to build it into a post for next Sunday. Let’s move on.
My son’s birthday was last weekend and he had a blast. Turned 10 at Chuck E. Cheese and got nearly 1,500 tickets. I was happy to see him run around and smiling, especially with how life is now. Everyone from opposite camps were civil and friendly. Some only interacted when they had to, but I think I was the only nervous person. Spending too much time around the ex-wife leaves me drained and this event included her mother and best friend. I wandered off a few times to get tickets for my son and take a breather, so things were good. My plan was to let him run around unleashed and simply enjoy himself. My ex-wife’s mother hadn’t seen him since 2015 because she lives far away, which is another reason I stayed back and let them have fun. I won a jackpot on a harpoon fishing game too, which was exciting. Ended up racking up a bunch of discounts and deals for the party too, so it was cheaper and resulted in more tickets that I expected. Wins all around.
This weekend is going to be a little more laid back if I’m lucky. There’s still that issue where people think I shouldn’t be allowed to relax. Even had one person say that my fatigue and anxiety were being faked. The thing is that I’ve been frayed since last August when the divorce/breaking marriage started. At least, that’s when I became aware of it and I’ve been struggling to stay afloat. Getting a good paying job, taking care of my son, trying to get writing in, having a social life, and accepting that I might be alone for the rest of my life are exhausting. Toss in a busy and rough summer job? I’m surprised I’ve been able to get out of bed most mornings. I need too many cards to fall in the right place for me to get time to write. Otherwise, I only have 2-2.5 hours at night, which includes showering and getting stuff ready for the next day. I can’t get anything done during that time regardless of what people keep telling me. Stopping in mid-chapter section sets off my anxiety really bad, especially if I can’t get back to it for weeks. Tried it and just scrapped the whole thing. That’s why I’m going to stick to outlining today. Fingers crossed that I get the time since my previous attempt was undermined by other people’s plans falling through, so they bugged me.
Beyond all of that, I wish I had fun stories to share here. I used to, but I found that I can’t when other people’s kids are involved. With any luck, I’m going to be watching ‘The Boys’ today after seeing my son at martial arts. Outlining will be done with that on since it’s going to be my pocket notebook that I fiddle with. Want to know terror? Have a notebook in your pocket and be a pool activity leader for a bunch of 3-6th graders. The pool is also overflowing and some kids love splashing. This is another reason why I don’t bother bringing it on days when I have something else. That and I never get a chance to use it like I do in school.
These always seem to have more meat when I think them up in the shower. Guess I can’t talk much about book sales and promos since I don’t have those any more. Really wish I could find a way to get back into that game, but I can’t put in the time that I used to. Still, I might get lucky and release the next (never to be read) volume of War of Nytefall by Christmas. I have to get in touch with my cover artist who I haven’t spoken to since the spring, which I feel back about. This 9-5 thing is just as brutal as I remember.
Goals of the week?
Eat lunch every day.
Get a little more sleep.
Limit fast food consumption.
Contact colleges about graduate programs for next summer. Not looking like I can do much without a Masters, but it also looks like I need initial certification to get into some Masters programs. This is odd because I need the Masters to get that certification.
Way back, I made a post that explains the origin of the ‘Windemere’ name. Check it out and I hope you like the poem that has been rattling around in my head. Guess a few old memories have been jogged loose.
Lake Ontario
Wandering among the trees
Getting closer to the edge
Nearing the stairs
That lead to the rocky shore
Where I hear voices
That I wish to avoid
While I dream in search of names
Others are relaxing
Escaping classes and work
If even for a bit
Some drunk on freedom
Others on Bud or Blue
I move away
In search of my own spot
Distance has been reached
And I stand upon the brink
Staring ahead
Where another land thrives
Yet I see a third shore
Deep within my mind
And I crave a name to give
Failed words form
Nothing striking the right note
Too weak and too hard
Too lame and too salty
Throwing letters together
And merging words
Frustration leads to force
I finally give
Letting my mind wander
Hoping my senses
Do the work without me
They hold onto the wind
As if the answer was obvious
Welcome to Windemere
I am so pleased to welcome Harmony Kent to Fiction Favorites. Besides being an accomplished author, Harmony is also a terrific editor. She describes her new book.
Hi, everyone. Harmony here. Many thanks to John for hosting me today. I have a new book on pre-order called FALLOUT, which is a post-apocalyptic dystopia. This novel started out life by playing a little game. I sat and closed my eyes and imagined an empty room … in that room, a vial appeared. A dull orange plastic thing covered in scratches. It sloshed when I shook it. From that tiny beginning, the world of Exxon 1 and its deadly virus was born.
How come there’s only one vial?
How does the virus and antidote work?
WHEN EVERYTHING FALLS APART, WHAT CAN YOU DO?
The year is 3040.
The location is Exxon 1, part of a six-planet system in settled space.
As usual, here is your warning that this story has cursing, sex (not graphic), innuendo, and violence. It’s my Rated-R action adventure called Derailing Bedlam. This is the fourth outing (third official) for Cassidy and Lloyd, so feel free to click on one of the two covers to see how it started. Each one is 99 cents!
I came across The Egg, a lovely short story, thanks to Nat Russo. Written by Andy Weir, better known for The Martian, it’s proven pretty popular. I hope you enjoy it as a great example of a tongue-in-cheek tone, a sharp twist, and a brave choice of second-person narration.
The Egg
By: Andy Weir
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.
And that’s when you met me.
“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”
“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.
I have been trying really hard to develop a life balance. Many have pointed out that my world has been turned upside down in every aspect. There are only so many hours in the day too, so priorities have to be rearranged on an almost weekly basis. It’s been really difficult this summer since the job is 9-5. That doesn’t give me any time in the morning or evening once I get the important stuff done. Not to mention I’m dead on my feet by the time I get home and put my son to bed. So, what are the areas that I’m trying to balance here?
Parenthood
Work
Errands and Chores
Writing
Exercise
Me Time
Now, I tried to put this in the order that I prioritized them. I always put my son first and the job needs a lot of attention since it’s how I avoid starvation and homelessness. Errands and chores are needed since I don’t have anyone else to do these. To be fair, I’ve been the main gofer and cleaner in my life for a long time. Doing these things are almost second nature. Writing is further down the list than I wish it was, but it depends a lot on time, energy, and mood. Hurts just seeing that not making the Top 3. Don’t even know why ‘exercise’ is on there since I have on time to do it outside of the weekend. Can’t even glean 15 minutes out of my day to use the stationary bike or go for a walk. Finally, ‘Me Time’ is at the bottom. This is what I do when I finally get a moment and I’m too tired to write. Technically, ‘Me Time’ and writing can overlap. Still, I put this here because I feel like I put myself at the bottom. Just don’t have the time to pamper myself beyond making sure I don’t die or smell bad.
Sadly, I really don’t know how to perfectly balance this stuff. Not sure that’s possible considering most of them involve other people. If my son has a bad day or is sick then the other areas are reduced. If work needs me more then the others are reduced. You have random occurrences like blackouts, illness, people with requests, stressful events, and just a long list of things that are beyond your control. This is why I get stressed at times. I’m always being told by others that things will settle or I will find balance. Others tell me to work towards it. Yet, I’m routinely knocked for a loop. Many of my friends have the same ‘bad luck’. It’s almost like the universe doesn’t like balance. It requires chaos and a level of stress that keeps the pharmaceutical companies in business. And people wonder why it’s so important to take a mental health day from time to time.
The funny thing is that I thought I would give some tips, but realized I don’t have anything to say. Every life is different and I’m horribly unbalanced, so I shouldn’t be giving suggests for this. I’d ask for tips in the comments, but I sense that most will do the ‘take it one day at a time’ or something similar. So, I’m more curious about what people think of balancing life. Not how to do it, but just the overall concept. Perhaps one reason it’s so hard is that everyone has a different definition of a balanced life. Let’s see what we get in the comments.
Note: You can find a link to all published chapters at the end of this post or read more parts on Wattpad.
A Heaven for Toasters
What if your perfect man was a robot?
Detective Mika Pensive has a new partner. He’s hot. Smart. Funny. And an android.
Set in the near future, A Heaven for Toasters is more than a sci-fi crime adventure with plenty of romance and wit. It’s the book that will make you look at your toaster in a whole new way.
CHAPTER 5: Old Town
2:53 p.m.
Half an hour later, we stopped before the blue door that led into the Hydra police station. I caught a whiff of fried fish, probably because of the next-door tavern. Still sniffing the air, I stopped a moment…
