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(A rondelet is a 7-line poem where the first line is repeated on line 3 and 7. The refrain lines are usually 4 syllables and the other 4 lines are 8. These were tough, so I hope I got them right.)
Are you Envy?
Do you get jealous all the time?
Are you Envy?
You want what everyone holds dear.
The wins of others cause you pain.
Even if you were not involved.
Are you Envy?
Posted on January 27, 2013, I still don’t know about the question I wanted to ask after this post. The one I would ask now is: Has anyone else had an encounter similar to the one I described? One with a more experienced artist who seemed to suggest that you not even try. Though, part of me thinks the author from long ago had a point.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the support that writers get when they are trying to ply their trade. I’m not talking about agents and publishers, but the people who are there to hold them up. I remember hearing a story about Stephen King’s wife pulling his first draft of ‘Carrie’ out of the trash, which I guess has become my gold standard of author cheerleader. This is an endearing story, but I wonder if it’s common.
My fear of not being supporting comes from a specific encounter. I met another fantasy author a long time ago. This author was brought into a workshop to talk about publishing and I guess to talk to the lone fantasy author in the room. That would be me. He self-published and made his own cover. I really don’t want to talk bad about somebody, but it was not a positive encounter. He was a nice guy and was happy to talk shop with another fantasy author. Yet, he said he had to trade a copy of his book for a tank of gas, lived off a box of donuts a week, and he hinted that his wife left him. I couldn’t tell if he was brought in to make me feel good about my choice or to be a cautionary tale. I was a lot younger and much easy to rattle back then. I’m finally starting to shake that fear and build up enough ambition and determination to push forward with the dream.
This is really a difficult thing to write about, but I want to get it off my chest. For a long time, I felt like people were making me feel guilty about wanting to pursue my writing. It meant I would be a ‘burden’ on my family and there was no guarantee of success. Today, I’m paranoid about how many of my supporters will actually buy my books when I start putting them out. It’s the big fear that I’ve been fighting these last couple of months. I’m well aware that I won’t succeed if the people around me refuse to support me by buying my books, reviewing my books, and spreading the word. A reader recommendation holds more power than an author telling people to buy his book. I’ve done this road twice before with self-publishing and both times ended in utter defeat.
I wanted to end this with a question, but I have no idea what to ask. This is really becoming more of a soul-bearing, revealing my current fear post, which I’ve come to learn is a dangerous type of post to make. So, I guess I’ll just end it here.
Hello, SE’ers!!! It’s Jan here again with another deep dive into a specific color and how we can use it to show more about our characters or enhance …
Colors – How they can enhance your characters and settings – #7 BROWN
Posted on January 19th, 2013, this is a fun one. Not really much else to add to it since it’s right to the point. People who weren’t following me back then might get a kick out of the final question though.
For some reason, I began thinking about all of the rejection letters I have received since I first began submitting my writing in high school. That was 17 years ago and I gathered a lot of rejection letters until I stopped trying a few years ago. I didn’t quit writing, but decided that there had to be another way for me. I felt a change in the writing world and I was seeing it in the rejection letters. There was no longer a pretense of publishers and agents reading my submissions. One even messed up spelling my name and write the title of a book that wasn’t familiar. Many times I never got a response, so I began looking into the industry. I really had no idea what was going on until I received the following statement in an agent’s rejection letter:
“We think you have talent and your story shows a lot of promise. Sadly, you are not Stephen King, so we have no place for you. We wish you the best of luck.”
This confused me for several days because I was well aware that I wasn’t Stephen King. For one thing, I have no interest or connection to Maine and I’m shorter. I assumed that this comment meant one of the following translations:
1. You are not as talented as Stephen King, so we don’t want you.
2. I wasn’t as famous as Stephen King, so they weren’t willing to take the risk.
Now, I can fully agree with and accept the first translation because I think Stephen King is better than me right now. I’m always learning and evolving my style, so I could reach his level at some point. For now, he is one of the masters and I’m one of the struggling peons.
That second one is what I think was really being said and that irked me. A lot. Not because they were wrong because they were right. It was because I felt like they were rejecting me because I wasn’t already published. Yet, I had been rejected by publishers for not having an agent. It was my first time meeting the Writer’s Catch 22: You need an agent to get published, you need a fanbase to get an agent, but you need to be published to get a fanbase. I was young and easily angered, so I did what any rational author would do. I started thinking up various ways to destroy the rejection letters and laugh like a maniac while doing it. There were darts, swords, scissors, lacing one with peanut butter and leaving it out for the squirrels, and so many other methods that should nominate me for a padded room. The Stephen King one made it to the end where I simply burned it over a pot and swore I was going to prove everyone wrong. In retrospect, I probably should have kept that rejection letter on the off chance that I ever meet Stephen King.
So, the point of this post is to reveal my past with rejection letters, which has been plaguing my mind and ask the following question:
What was the most bizarre or inspirational rejection letter you ever received and what did you do with it?
Perfect time of year for this holiday. At least for this part of the world where we have summer. So:
This was definitely a big work week because the humidity caused me to have little energy for more. I spent time with my son, which included a zoo trip last Sunday. They reopened the ‘World of Darkness’ at the Bronx Zoo, which doesn’t allow flash photography. I remembered later that you could do videos, so we went back before leaving to get these:
I really hope those work when the post goes live. I’ll put a slideshow of pictures below too.
Anyway, being out in the sun all day didn’t help me with my work week. It meant that I started off tired and things rolled out of control until I simply passed out on my bed at 9 PM on Wednesday. This was beneficial since Thursday was our trip to an amusement park, so I needed the rest. I don’t go on rides and it was the hottest day of the week, so I got drained even with water to drink. Probably why I barely made it through writing this post last night. Hey, I made it though.
I did manage to type in the edits for a big chapter of Darwin & the Beast Collector before the weekend. Mustered up enjoy energy and focus to do it over the course of two nights and an hour in the afternoon. Helped that I needed to get out of the sun for a bit before going back outside. This leaves me with about 5 chapters and I hope to get another one done this weekend. I won’t say I’ll do it for sure, but I’m going to try to make some progress.
One of the reasons why I might not get much done is the weather isn’t as bad as it was during the week. This means, I can get some fresh air and Pokemon time in to make up for not doing much before. I have this challenge where I have to walk 25 kilometers a week for 8 weeks straight, so I need to make sure I reach the goal. They also have a special 4 day event where music from the long time game composer will play during the hours of 5-8 PM. There are special Pokemon showing up during that time, but I want to get out for 1-2 hours of that each night just to listen to the music. I should still be able to get an hour of editing in after that as well as time in the morning and early afternoon. It really depends on my energy levels.
There are other stressors hitting me too, but I can’t go into those. Combined with the weather and exhaustion, I haven’t had the best mental defenses against my anxiety. It’s hitting after I go to sleep too. So, I’ll jolt awake and not know why because I’ll be highly disoriented. Not enough to forget I have my CPAP mask on, but enough to not really know why I’m awake. This results in me feeling overheated and gaining a wheeze, so I check my vitals in fear of being sick. My brain just won’t let me believe that it’s anxiety and I can’t stop myself from a little medical doom scrolling on my phone. Eventually, I try to fall asleep again, which doesn’t work out well when I have to wake up in 2-3 hours. I toss and turn, look at the clock, let my mind wander, and suffer until I might vaguely pass out. This is why I tend to collapse Wednesday or Thursday night instead of softly going to bed. I think walking helps me get some of the tension out, but I always run into various stressors before bed.
Going back to the writing world, I have been mentally tinkering with an idea that gives me some trouble. It was originally about two groups of thieves who are members of the same guild. They are rivals because of various slights and are racing each other to find the Cataclysm Hoard. I was basing characters (both heroes and villains) off newer people in my life, but I keep losing contact with some and making new connections. So, I keep adding and removing concepts. It’s reached a point where I don’t know if I want it to be rival thieves or just a whole guild with everyone working towards the same goal. That or make two guilds instead of one. Some character concepts:
This is definitely developing a comical vibe to it, but I’m creating a pretty large cast for both sides. I really should sit down and think more about this one as well as make a character list. Right now, I have 9 thieves on each side with a bunch of others within the guild. That sounds like a lot per side, especially since this was going to be a trilogy. I could do it like I plan with the superhero stuff and make each of the books a collection of short stories that run along the same main plot. Really hard to figure this whole thing out, especially with me being so tired.
Anyway, goals of the week?
Published on January 13, 2013, this feels like another post where things that now feel obvious just dawn on me. I would eventually go on to talk a few times about the setting being as much of a character as the heroes and villains. For anyone curious about Windemere’s early days, check out Beginning of a Hero for free.
Art by Alison Hunt
I keep thinking about the character posts that I will be tossing out as characters appear in the chapter sections. Well, I realized that there is a very important ‘character’ that I give less credit and attention to than Stiletto. This is the world that I meticulously created and now call Windemere.
As I stated, I began these stories when I was playing D&D, so the initial form of Windemere was the Forgotten Realms. Really it was only Waterdeep because within two months of starting, I had begun adding more to Windemere. The world that began as a simple coastline grew into multiple continents, four moons, and so many regions that I had trouble keeping track of it by the end of college. You see, I got bored on weekends and nights when people were too busy to hang out. So, I would sit at my computer and add regions onto Windemere or outline stories that included new cities. The world evolved just like my characters, but at a stranger, less consistent pace.
I don’t remember what the initial name of Windemere was, but I knew it was lame. Now, I went to college in upstate New York and the college was right on Lake Ontario. So, I would go out to the lake to think if the weather was tolerable. I remember wandering along the coast while the rain began to fall and I was trying to think of a name for my world. I had gotten caught up on the idea of putting -mere at the end of it for some reason. There was something about that ending that just clicked with me. Then, a gust of wind started whipping the rocky coast and churning the lake. I have always had a fascinating with watching nature and this time was no exception. Windemere came into my mind and it was there to stay.
Here is where the story gets a little odd. Windemere was not the first world that I created and nurtured. There was it’s older sister named Mylrix from my high school days. Mylrix was a simple world with a continent to the north, south, east, west, and a central island chain. Not much was different between them and I only had a few stories taking place on the world. Well, Mylrix wasn’t too thrilled with the new world on the block, but she was quickly losing in the power struggle. She had so powerful warriors, but Windemere had legendary figures and living gods. Things became an even bigger mess when I started dabbling in superhero stories and created the simply named Super Earth. Now, Mylrix was horribly overshadowed and Windemere was trying to be nice. Super Earth was kind of a bully and would push into my thoughts more often than Windemere liked. Poor Mylrix was almost forgotten by the time I hit 25 and the power struggle was really between Windemere and Super Earth. A few smaller worlds showed up for a few one-shot ideas and short series, but they promptly stayed out of the fight.
Then came the Great Cataclysm of Windemere. Characters began talking about it and I wasn’t 100% certain what it was. Eventually, I fixed this by combining Mylrix and Windemere with Mylrix being Pre-Cataclysm Windemere. The name of Mylrix went to the plane of magic, which had crashed into the physical plane, hence creating the high-magic world that you see now. Mylrix had passed away and given her power and stories to Windemere. The smaller worlds decided to do the same, becoming islands and kingdoms of their oldest sibling. This all brought about last summer where I realized that Super Earth and Windemere were butting heads too much. I was getting my wires crossed with their stories because there were several cross-overs and similarities. So, the decision was made to merge them and Windemere absorbed Super Earth, making it so vast and in-depth that I don’t think it’s early form would recognize it.
This merging cleared up a few mysteries of Windemere such as the origin of the day-walking vampires and what happened to Varlis City. The superheroes were now a side-effect of the fall of Mylrix that were sealed away and will return for a series that plagues me. Maybe I’ll go into that at some point, but I think I’m still forbidden by my wife and a few friends from uttering the name of the series. This also put a mysterious Ice Crown at the top of the world, which the gods are unable to see or get into. Horsemen of War, an organization of revolver-using warriors, ghost hunters, witches, and everything that I had fit perfectly into Windemere as if this was how it was supposed to be in the end. Sure, this makes my fantasy world very powerful and closer to a Final Fantasy type world than Middle Earth, but there is something about operating in a single world for my entire career that makes me smile.
That is the origin of Windemere and some notes about its former siblings. It is a character that will be slowly explored over the course of all of my books. As the characters move along their path, the reader will get to explore with them. Even today, I have no idea what is going to be ahead for this ever-changing world.
Homunculi from Fullmetal Alchemist
(I stumbled onto this set of 7 rondelets about the Seven Sins. It’ll cover the whole summer. Now, a rondelet is a 7-line poem where the first line is repeated on line 3 and 7. The refrain lines are usually 4 syllables and the other 4 lines are 8. These were tough, so I hope I got them right. I’ll be putting this explanation and the same picture at the start of each poem. Enjoy.)
Is Greed your sin?
Do you always want to own more?
Is Greed your sin?
A strong thirst for materials.
Wanting more than an even share.
Refusing to give any scraps.
Is Greed your sin?
Greetings to one and all. Beem Weeks here with you again. This month, I’m looking at the difference between inspiration and craft. Though they are …
Inspiration vs. Craft: Finding Ideas and Developing Them
Legends of Windemere 