
WRITING AND THE COMMA

Universal Monsters
(Think I was trying to write about the Windemere orcs here. This one is definitely a big mystery.)
Opposites in nature
Attracted to their cores
The genders
Like night and day
Differences dueling
In an endless dance
Where one is nothing
Without the other
*
Hairy beasts
With eyes composed of want
Ready for action
To impress the other side
Physical trials
Forged of pure testosterone
Designed with little thought
*
Silken sylphs
Watching the bestial acts
From corners of their eyes
Playing games
Scarring hearts
Leaving flesh intact
The feminine animal
Hidden by the goddess guise
*
Strength of men
Bring power to the floor
Grace of women
Enough to tame the beast
The demur
Drawn to the brash
Burning in the heat
Continuing the dance of natures

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Did the title work? Maybe not, which is one of the challenges with analogies. They’re like jokes in that they depend on the audience and don’t always hit their mark. You can share an analogy that has one person nodding in agreement and another scratching their head in confusion. Why is that?
Well, the big thing is that analogies require pre-existing knowledge. I remember one from the animated X-Men that was ‘Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs’, which I’ve been told is a Southern expression. Pretty simple to understand as long as you know what a cat and a rocking chair are. You also need to know how painful that experience would be. If you’re missing any of those elements, you’re going to have to explain what you meant. Again, this is like a joke where it loses its impact if you have to explain it.
I’ve noticed that I use analogies a lot. People may have picked up on that in comments over the years. By analyzing myself, I tend to use an analogy for one of two reasons:
Both areas have shown analogies to be useful in getting a point across. This is because it simplifies and familiarizes things. If a person doesn’t understand a concept then it can be made clear by connecting it to something they do know. It won’t give them an intricate understanding of the details, but they can get the general idea. This opens the door to introduce the more nuanced and difficult pieces. Take the Big Bang example where the person now gets that something exploded outwards. Now, you can explain how this created the galaxy (mess) and the planets/stars/etc. (burrito pieces) exist individually instead of connected. Eventually, you can phase out the comparison and they’ll be left with the information as well as a simple way to explain it to others.
Analogies can be used in writing too. They’re really useful in non-Earth fiction. As the image states, they can be used to pump up your stories. Narrators can explain things in a fictional world by connecting it to the real world. Characters can explain magic systems, historical events, and other unfamiliar pieces of world-building with a simplification for those who don’t know. It helps the readers know what is going on without getting an info dump or being talked to directly. Analogies are so common in our lives that this tactic makes them feel organic.
This doesn’t mean analogies are perfect and safe. As I said, they depend a lot on pre-existing knowledge. There’s also an issue where a person might not like analogies and see them as idiotic. I’ve met many who are able to grasp concepts easily, so they see analogies as ‘dumbing down’. Even if they’re not the target, they will feel like they are and the analogy can come off as insulting. Doesn’t matter with some people that others might need it, so you can inadvertently rub someone the wrong way. Can you do anything to avoid this? Only by not using analogies, but then you’ll have people who don’t understand. Best to weigh your options on which scenario you would rather deal with if you have to.
Another challenge with analogies is just coming up with them. They aren’t easy regardless of the time we take to craft one. A long time can lead to us second guessing our connections and making a mess. Too little time can create an analogy that makes about as much sense as playing chess on a highway. I’ve found that there’s a balance between instinct and conscious thought with these things. Rush into it to see what comes up first and then come back to it later. A first shot at an analogy is rarely on point. If you can’t understand it a week later then you need to do it again.
So, what do you think about analogies? Got any favorites?

Hi SErs! It’s a day of Harmony here at Story Empire 🙂 Today, I’d like to talk about prologue dos and don’ts. Here’s a link to the previous post on …
How to Use Prologues, Part 3, Prologue Dos and Don’ts

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So, today is the National Pink Flamingo Day, which is about these guys:

Not Real Flamingos
I thought it would be more interesting to do a post about the real thing. After all, flamingos are one of the most identifiable and popular birds around. Their pink coloration, long necks, and how they stand on one leg are practically iconic in the animal kingdom. They’re also filter feeders and eat by straining food from mud, which involves eating with their heads upside down. Really cool.
Also, none of the 6 species are endangered. That means, we can dive right into the pictures (all found with Google Image Search) and videos.

Greater Flamingo
This is the Greater Flamingo, which has the greatest range. It’s also the largest. They’re found in Africa, Southern Europe, and South/Southwest Asia.

Lesser Flamingo
The Lesser Flamingo is found in Sub-Saharan Africa and western India. These are actually the smallest flamingo species.

Chilean Flamingo
Found in South America, the Chilean Flamingo is considered near threatened. This is because they live in salt lagoons and soda lakes, which are at risk of pollution. Some have been introduced to the Netherlands.

James’s Flamingo
The James’s Flamingo has more yellow in its beak than other species. The live in the higher altitude plateaus of the Andes like in Peru and Bolivia. They were thought to be extinct until a colony was found in 1956.

Andean Flamingo
The Andean Flamingo is closely related to the James’s Flamingo. They live in the same region too. You can see in the pictures that they differ in beak color. This one also has a deeper mandible than other species. Mining has made this species vulnerable.

American Flamingo
The American or Caribbean Flamingo is the only one that inhabits North America, but it isn’t exclusive to the continent. It can be found in the Caribbean, Florida, Belize, Colombia, Brazil, and Venezula.
Here’s an informative video to learn more:
The last time I wrote anything new was late August/early September. I’m talking stories and not blog posts. This school year has been really busy both as a TA and as a parent, so time and energy weren’t there. Now, I’m hoping that can start changing and I can pull off writing two books before the next school year. That’s the plan and I’m sure people have already rushed to the comments to say good luck.
The problem is that I’m still getting life thrown at me. I factored in my son’s Lego Robotics competition today. I didn’t expect to be getting new air conditioners installed today, which means I can’t work on the book before I meet him for the competition. This also meant that my room had to get rearranged to a point where the energy is so off that I’m simply uncomfortable. So, I couldn’t start last night and will have to start tonight once I put everything back. This means I’ll come one section short of finishing 3 of 19 chapters before things get busy again. Hopefully, nothing else comes up and brings that number down.
Then again, I might be writing slow because I’m not feeling very confident. It’s been so long and my stress is still high. Feels like people throw things at me every time I try to get close to writing too. Guilt trips for not doing other stuff even though I haven’t touched my books in 9 months. So, I’m mentally battered. It doesn’t look like that’s going to change any year soon either. After all, I’ve been pushing the whole ‘I can write when the chaos is done’ timeline for months and it keeps getting longer. With my son’s extracurricular events and the AP proctoring done, I shouldn’t be crashing before nighttime. That’s a good step towards the physical thing, but the mental and emotional state are going to be the hurdles. It’s far too easy to shove me into a melancholy and there are too many people in my life who see that as a hobby.
So . . . what happened this week? It’s a smattering of stuff. I finished all of the October posts. Work was busy since we were heading for a 3-day weekend. For obvious reasons, there was some tension. My son had his chorus concert on Tuesday and we celebrated with Friendly’s ice cream afterwards. The usual schoolwork was going on too. Last weekend had my niece joining us for Saturday and part of Sunday. My son cooked my mom’s chili recipe for both dinner and a Home & Careers final project. Worked out well and then . . . we found out the refrigerator had died. Yeah, that threw a chaotic monkey wrench into the whole week until we got a new one. At least I have space in this one and the ice maker works.
Only other big thing is that my son is back to drawing and is now attempting to do stuff by eye. No more step-by-step videos. He’s going to take a picture and try to draw it on his own. Here’s his first attempt:

Princess Peach
He plans on drawing Princess Peach multiple times and with different dresses. This is how he’s going to practice and he wants to cover all of her Super Smash costumes. At least he’s back to this and not just playing video games.
Can’t think of much else to talk about here. I’m not feeling entirely on the ball, which has me nervous about attempting to write tonight. The idea of trying to get back into it and failing miserably keeps running through my mind because I don’t have it in me to handle that scenario. Waited so long to try again and I’m doing it after taking such an emotional beating. I’ll just be honest. There is no real support system for me doing this any more and that hurts. People see it as a useless hobby that I need to put away because I tried and failed already. Nobody wants to hear about my ideas or give me real time and space to write unless they have no use for me. So, for the first time in my life, I really do feel like I’m walking this path in total isolation from this side of the computer. It’s not sitting well with me and makes accessing the Darwin Slepsnor part of my brain more difficult. At least I won’t get to writing him until tomorrow after lunch.
So, goals of the week:

Blue Shell from Mario Kart
This might be more difficult than I assume. Being someone who has played video games since childhood, I’m used to temporary Power Ups. Others might not be so quick to think up anything. So, take your time if you want to answer. After all this is all in good fun and maybe you’ll think about something you really need. We could all use some kind of power ups in our lives from time to time. (I’m pretty sure that’s a slogan for coffee.)
Mine answers:

Hey, SE Readers. Joan with you today. In my last post, I talked about the advantages of writing short stories and how they could be stand-alone works…
Anthologies