The Ice Box: All of Your Alcohol Needs in One Basement

Posted on March 9, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

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Welcome to our little warehouse.  Okay, it’s gigantic since you can’t see the walls through the fog.  Put on a warm coat and we’ll head into the racks.  Here’s a general list of categories with specific brands being more nuanced.  As usual, we ask that you drink responsibly once you leave.  What happens if you don’t?  It’s called jail time and health issues.  Don’t be an idiot.

  • Beer– Transformation magic. Brand and type will determine new form.  Too many to list here.
  • Red Wine–  Vampire abilities.  Does not guarantee success with women.
  • White Wine– Ghost abilities.  Does not guarantee success with pottery.
  • Rose Wine– Werewolf abilities.  Does guarantee fleas.
  • Fortified Wine– Mummy abilities.  Does guarantee sand in awkward places.
  • Mead–  Teleport to a fantasy world until bottle is done.  Always start with Level 1 Stats.
  • Champagne–  Flight.  Higher the price, the smoother the flight.  (Cheapest will be air travel through flatulence.)
  • Whiskey–  Elemental control.  No, you will not become the Avatar.  Stop suing.
  • Vodka–  Healing powers.  Hair and nails will grow at increased rate until sober.  Some brands will revive the foreskin.
  • Tequila–  Raise the dead.  Type of undead is determined by brand . . . Drinker will be zombified for 24 hours.
  • Brandy–  Become a fine girl, but get dumped for the sea.
  • Sake–  Temperature control.  Differences are in range and aroma of sweat.
  • Gin–  Dragon breath.  Type depends on brand.  Warning: Avoid Sneezing.
  • Absinthe– Talk to animals.  Does not mean you can order them around like a jerk.
  • Rum–  Out of Stock.  Don’t ask why.
  • Schnapps–  Psychic powers.  Warning: Hangover is a bitch with these.
  • Moonshine– Enhanced physical abilities.  At least, that’s what you’ll believe.
Posted in Olde Shoppe Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Thursday – A Little Personal- Celebrating Sally G. Cronin @SGC58

Posted on March 9, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

Today is the International Day of Awesomeness. And it allows us to shine the spotlight on a truly remarkable person  Sally Cronin. Sally’s place is a…

Thursday – A Little Personal- Celebrating Sally G. Cronin @SGC58
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Crafting Rich Characters (Part 3)

Posted on March 9, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

Greetings Storytellers! We’re off to Part 3 of Crafting Rich Characters. In Part 1, we explored a character’s physical appearance, mannerisms, and …

Crafting Rich Characters (Part 3)
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Happy (Miserable?) Be Nasty Day! (Buy a $2.99 ebook and Rue!)

Posted on March 8, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

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(Okay.  I really couldn’t resist doing this one the week after ‘World Compliment Day’.  Just seeing this holiday pop up next had me laughing too much to pass up the opportunity to be a little silly.)

Celebrate the holiday with a story about two vampires who truly despise each other!
War of Nytefall: Rivalry!

Cover Art by Alison Hunt

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Using Portals in Fiction

Posted on March 7, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

.hack//sign Chaos Gate

Maybe I’m stretching for a topic here, but portals are fairly common in fantasy and science fiction.  Some go to other worlds while others are for different locations on the same planet.  You have those designed to keep dangerous beings out, but somebody always managed to open those.  They get called portals, doorways, gateways, and a variety of other names.  They all do the same thing though.  Enter a portal and you end up somewhere else.

The most basic rule is what I’ve already mentioned.  A person or object passes through the portal and ends up somewhere else.  The story will determine if this mode of transportation is safe and common.  Just because someone is found everywhere doesn’t make it infallible either.  So, you can still make them somewhat dangerous and have an alternative available.  After all, we have cars, but some people are more comfortable on buses or bikes.  In the end, you just have to get to where you’re going.

Visually, the sky is the limit and even an option.  I’ve run into people who are very specific on how spells should look, including portals.  They need to be shifting, oily, and show the destination.  No they don’t. A portal can look like anything from an actual door to a disturbance in the air to nothing at all.  This is why you can use them without people getting bored.  Well, aside from them being a sensible set piece and plot device that makes total sense for a variety of stories.  Anyway, just have fun with the idea and see what turns up.  As long as a person can go through, you have a portal.

This is becoming more of a ‘tips’ post, which I guess makes sense.  Although, I can’t think of a lot of advice beyond what I’ve already said.  Portals are fairly simplistic in their story use even if you come up with a complicated explanation for their existence.  The characters and readers may find it interesting to discover that the big, red portal was forged by sentient chocolate bunnies before the world got too hot for them.  The story won’t take away from the point of it being used, including if it’s the final destination.  Most people seem to just accept these things and everything added to them is a bonus.  This includes who are rather specific in their visuals.  They might not like the look, but they won’t question the portals use and existence.

I guess there are some guidelines in terms of the existence though. If you’re writing a modern day romance, it can be jarring to drop a magical portal into the mix.  So, you do need magic or high technology already added to the setting for a portal to work.  They don’t even need to be visible, but you need to note that they exist or used to exist in the world.  That’s really the only guideline I can think of here.  Well, that and you need to go somewhere or it’s pointless.  This means a portal is only as complicated as we make, which goes for just about everything.

What do you think of portals?  Ever use one in your stories?

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The Critically Endangered Organutan!

Posted on March 6, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

I’m enjoying these animals posts, so I figured I’d do another.  Today, I thought I’d make a post about the orangutan.  These are critically endangered for the following reasons:

  1. Deforestation, which is eliminating their habitat.
  2. Poaching, especially females with children.  The children are kept as pets, so the illegal pet trade is a big problem.

Check out more on the orangutans at SAVE THE ORANGUTAN!

There are three species:

The Bornean Orangutan: Population is 104,700

The Sumatran Orangutan: Population is 13,846

The Tapanuli Orangutan: Population is 800

Clearly, these animals are in trouble and, again, it seems to be humans at fault.  Orangutans give birth once every 3-5 years, which means it’s harder for their population to bounce back from devastation.  Hopefully, something can be done.  Now for a cute video of a baby orangutan

Here’s another cool one:

Posted in Animal Posts, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 15 Comments

Ever Write a Blog Post with Your Head on the Desk?

Posted on March 5, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

This song hit after I made last Saturday’s post, so I couldn’t choose it.  Still, it acts as a theme for the week.  Just felt a little bit off once I went back to work.  Think the cold and stress of other things were acting as anchors.

Nothing really happened this week because I couldn’t.  I had to get into work after a break, so make up tests and such.  My son missed 2 days of school, so the later half was all about helping him get caught up and situated.  The mask mandates ended, so there was some tension in the air at first.  Due to his autism and anxiety, my son wasn’t very thrilled with this, so he’s still wearing his.  I’m doing it too for another week or so just to make sure things are going smoothly.  Beyond all of that, I didn’t do anything else of note because it was all work.

Yup . . . I finished the hand edits for Slumberlord Chronicles: Darwin & the Fate Bracelet.  That was early on after binging over the weekend.  I’m still nervous about this character, so I might go back to Teaser Tuesdays for this in June.  The National Holiday things are fun, but not bringing in any sales, so I can do them sporadically.  I can toss out a few teasers for Do I Need to Use a Dragon?, which may be out in the fall or winter of this year.

I can’t get my brain to work on all creative cylinders lately.  I mean, I enjoyed the editing, but now I’m scared about trying to write a book.  It’s not like I haven’t figured Darwin out enough to get him right.  He’s still a challenge because he needs to be effective and easily distracted.  He needs to solve problems while causing trouble.  He needs to be able to interact with villains to show the plot without getting into long conversations or pissing them off within minutes.  I realized how easily a serious or arrogant character lost their temper with Darwin, which I think is how those kinds of people really deal with someone like him.  I think that’s still at the crux of my nervousness too.

You see, I’m happy with how Darwin has come out.  He works very well.  I just know he can ruffle feathers, which hurts for a character like him.  Maybe I’m overprotective since he’s so innocent.  Him getting yelled at or hurt is similar to seeing a child getting abused, so it gets my blood a little hot.  Darwin is also a source of comedy, which people can see as insulting.  It’s such a major balancing act that I don’t think I can ever be 100% confident that I’m hitting the right mark.  This is why the teasers in June might help out.

Nothing else really happened.  I watched ‘Arcane’ on Netflix, which was pretty cool.  I don’t know the game, but that didn’t take away from it.  I played some video games when I had some down time during the week.  That’s it.  I wish I had something more exciting to report, but that’s it.  The usual doubt, frustration, fatigue, and a small report on what I’m watching on TV.

I’ll be honest.  I’ve been watching the news a bit too.  Well, more that I’m looking at what people involved in the big events are saying and doing.  It’s stressing me out, but I know I shouldn’t look away.  So much going on and it’s all scary.  Can’t even sugarcoat any of it because that feels like a pointless deception.  This shit is happening in our lifetime and that’s fucking insane to me.

Goals of the week:

  1. Weekend of fun with the son.
  2. Work.
  3. Start preparing May posts.  Anybody have topic suggestions?
  4. Watch more ‘Magi’ anime.
  5. Hydrate is still on the list.
  6. Start typing in the edits of Slumberlord Chronicles: Darwin & the Fate Bracelet.
  7. Go over the outline for Slumberlord Chronicles: Darwin & the Halfling Hunt
  8. Sleep
Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , | 13 Comments

7 Tips to Having Nobility in Fiction

Posted on March 4, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

King Bugs Bunny

As a fantasy author, I have to consider the layers of society.  Nobles are the clearest division because they are composed of the kings, queens, princes, princesses, and other titled folks.  A reader will have an immediate reaction to these characters even if they don’t realize it.  So, what is the best way to use them if they’re more than window dressing for the story?

  1. Not every noble has to be a pompous ass.  This is a strange trap that authors tend to run into, but readers don’t typically complain.  Maybe it’s a societal effect that those in the lower classes of society prefer to see those above us as evil.  Yet, it creates a problem for the fantasy world.  How could the civilization survive if everyone running it is selfish, evil, and corrupt?  You’d have to create a dystopian setting for that to make complete sense.
  2. The beloved ruler of a kingdom doesn’t have to be killed.  Doing so tends to be a trigger of a darker tone or a symbol of the death of innocent/purity/whatever.  We enjoy having our heroes fall and the good-hearted ruler tends to be sacrificed for the sake of drama.  It’s not always necessary or sensible.  Most times, it’s done primarily for shock value since they’re never the main hero.  It transforms the character into a plot device with dialogue.
  3. Nobles are not a hivemind system.  You can have variety in how they see their servants and other citizens.  I’m not talking the young noble who stands against the wall of oppressive elders/peers.  While that is a viable story, it turns all of the others into nothing more than a symbolic mass.  It prevents the group from having any variation in thoughts, words, and actions.  Have your named nobles act as if they are individuals to bring a clearer sense of their societal tier, which gives you access to more plot points than the simple ‘nobles are mean’.
  4. Not every noble stems from the same source.  Some earned their station through business, others through conquest, and more through inheritance.  Consider how a noble entered high society to help flush out their mentality.  They may have no idea what it’s like to live below their station or they may remember with a sense of bitterness.  Others may be curious about such a life since they know nothing more than decadence.  Again, make a variety of nobles.
  5. Consider what other characters think of nobles because it isn’t always love/hate.  If you look at our society, you can see the variety.  There will be those who despise them out of jealousy or distrust.  Others have clearer reasons due to being personally hurt by a noble.  You have those who aspire to be in high society and idolize the nobles without question.  These types can cause friction if they’re with anyone who dares to criticize their idols.  Finally, you have characters who simply don’t care.  They know nobles exist, but have better things to do with their lives.
  6. Masquerade balls aren’t necessary!
  7. If a noble joins a band of adventurers, you don’t have to make them a useless idiot who only brings trouble.  This goes back to how they’re commonly used.  Authors typically add a noble into a group for fiction.  Complaining about the walking, food, sleeping outdoors, and showing absolutely no sense of comradery.  They bring more problems than they solve when used this way, but this only makes readers hate them.  Even if you want them to be annoying and pampered, it’s best to give them some kind of positive quality.  Otherwise, people will wonder why they went on the adventure or are kept around.  Keep in mind that nobles tend to love stories as entertainment, so many won’t be as surprised at the trials as one would think.  Besides, this type of noble has been done so often that it doesn’t have much impact, so you need some kind of twist on it these days.
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Poetry Day: Allergy Woes

Posted on March 3, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

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(Title speaks for itself.  I get bad hay fever at times and I wrote this when things terrible.  I had just moved back to New York from Florida too.  So, it was months of pollen being my worst enemy and setting off an upper respiratory infection.  FUN!)

Sleepless nights
Where I barely breathe
Gagging
On the roe of plants

*

Invisible barbs
Clinging to my throat
Suffocating me
Before running out my nose

*

Those around me sleep
Tuning out my raspy cough
Mocking me
With their blissful slumber

*

A massive fit
Harshest of the night
Leaving sweat upon my sheets
And pain within my core

*

It has been months
With few respites
And fewer days to rest
As I answer the call of work

*

Now I rise
With a taste of rot
Etched into my tongue
Giving food a sour tang

*

This has to end
It cannot go on
I have reached my limit
I really need to breathe

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , | 11 Comments

The Sunk Cost Fallacy and Writing

Posted on March 2, 2022 by Charles Yallowitz

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I don’t remember how I stumbled onto the term ‘Sunk Cost Fallacy’.  It was probably in a forum and I tried not to give it a second though.  Yet, it really struck a chord with me because it touches on how I see parts of my life.  The meme kind of explains it, but I’ll give a better definition.  At least, I’ll try.

Sunk Cost Fallacy–  Sunk costs are money, time, effort, and power that have already been put into a project.  They cannot be recovered or reclaimed.  A person looks at these as a reason to continue on a path that is no longer garnering success.  We go ‘I already invested in this, so I may as well keep going’ and continue without much in the way of adjustment or considering walking away.  The past costs are included in our future decisions even though they’re gone and cannot be recovered.

Most times I see this is in regards to business or relationships.  Yet, it can be used for just about anything that a person invests time and money into.  We’re raised with a variety of sayings to lock in the sunk cost fallacy too:

  • Your time will come.
  • Hard work will always get you to success.
  • Quitting is for losers.
  • Determination is key.
  • Things will change for the better if you have faith.

All of these are phrases we use to make sure we never give up regardless of how badly things are going.  Makes sense in some arenas, but they turn up for everything.  Our society hates quitting, which is why we idolize those who appear to be those who never give up.  Although, if you look at most idols, many of them have a moment where they recognized a sunk cost fallacy and bailed.  Any rich person who saw the signs and left before a company went under actually quit in the face of inevitable disaster.  We call that smart for them, but other people who do it get laughed at.  That’s a whole other topic that I won’t get into.

How does this relate to me and writing?

I wonder if I’m living a ‘sunk cost fallacy’.  I’ve put so much money, energy, and time into my dream of being an author.  Now, it’s mostly time and energy.  Yet, I’m not going anywhere and it doesn’t look like that will change.  It’s even a challenge doing the writing part these days.  As it stands, I probably won’t be able to work on anything new until the summer unless I utilize my weekends properly.  That’s going to be touch since it’s a long run until the next break and I’ll be exhausted.  This is when people typically tell me that I just have to be patient and my time will come, but that rings hollow after 20 years.  In fact, this is what feeds the ‘sunk cost fallacy’.

The reason I keep going is because I don’t know any better and I think about all of the time and effort I put into it.  Quitting will make me feel bitter, defeated, and broken since writing and publishing was the dream.  Even if I couldn’t make enough money to live comfortably, I’d like to get a steady stream of sales.  An occasional blast usually gives me $15-$17, but that happens once every 2-3 months.  I’d boost the prices up to $2.99 again, but what would the point be?  Nobody seems to be interested, including many who cheer me on.  Don’t even get me started on how I’d only be able to get reviews if I paid people or sent out thousands of free copies, which I always thought was against Amazon guidelines.  I guess that’s only if you’re reported or not popular enough to get away with it.  End of that rant for now.

So, do I continue the ‘sunk cost fallacy’ or do I give up?  I know the rhetoric about following your dream.  I see that I have limited time and many on this side of the Internet aren’t supportive at all.  Me continuing to write is seen as sad and wasteful.  It’s not even considered a hobby by some while other people don’t even remember or acknowledge that I do it.  This amplifies the situation since I now have people telling me to give up and that I wasted my time.  Let’s leave out that I had a good run, but learned later that someone took action that secretly hurt me.  Guess there’s a sense that I’m not failing on my own terms too, which may keep me going.  It’s all a hodgepodge of thoughts with several that I can’t talk about on the blog.

Anyway, what do you think of the ‘sunk cost fallacy’ in regards to artistic endeavors?

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