Daughter of Monster Maker Fun: Donated by John W. Howell & V.M. Sang #October #Monsters

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We’ve got 6 really good beasties for you this Friday.  Let’s dive right into it with 3 from the words of John W. Howell.

Bloogmaken

These creatures began as artificial beings, but escaped their creator and thrived in the surrounding bogs.  While not able to breed, there is always one in every generation with the intelligence to build new members.  This helps to keep their numbers up since they are not very strong and easy prey to many other creatures.  Bloogmakens are short figures made out of wood with hay as their hair.  This makes them a type of golem, but nobody is sure what their original purpose was.  A few have eyes made of hot coals that never cool off and these act as guards because they are slightly more powerful.  Within a week of being born, they develop what makes them an enticing prey.  A white slime builds up in their bodies and occasionally seeps out of their joints.  It is a natural lubricant, which smells of honey and vanilla.  This ooze is highly nutritious and can keep a biological organism alive without food for 3 days.  Bloogmakens may escape with missing limbs, but they are usually cracked open by whatever catches them.

Sanjotriperper

This rodent is similar to a rat, but has very large front paws with unique joints and a thick tail to help it move.  It runs on these front paws and uses its flexible neck to keep its face forward.  The tail acts as a balancer and steering by moving it in the direction it wants to go and leaning towards the weight.  The back paws are small and kept up, but they are connected to compressed legs.  If attacked, a Sanjotriperper will strike out to deliver a venom that is stored on retractable barbs.  This toxin is fast-acting and creates numbness as well as blindness if not treated.  Assassins have been known to harvest the venom, but they do so without killing the animal.  This is because they do not survive in captivity.  A Sanjotriperper requires a lot of space and will fall into a depression the moment it realizes it is contained.

Pazmunsous

With leathery wings and an orb-like body, the Pazmunsous can look like a frightening figure.  They live in dark woods, which doesn’t make it any better.  Of course, they’re bright pink with white heart designs on their wings.  A smiling, bright-eyed face is in the center of the orb, but nobody has ever seen the mouth open wide enough to take a bite.  Being the size of a horse and having no legs, scientists spent decades trying to figure out how these creatures rested.  It turns out that they hibernate for the hottest month of the summer by pulling their wings into their body and dropping from high above.  They land with enough force to bury themselves entirely and the impact always results in the earth filling in the hole.  When they emerge, they are no bigger than a baseball and have to go about regaining their size.  It is unclear what they feed off of, so the current theory is that they eat either wind, psychic energy, or emotions.

The next 3 are from the words given by V.M. Sang.

Flimblepop

The sole creature of the Lozbo sewers, this amphibian has become a slight nuisance during the hot and rainy seasons.  Normally, they stay beneath the street, but lack of water or too much causes them to venture out.  Flimblepops have four long legs and a single bubble on their back, which they pop to release an acid.  This results in the narrow-headed creature dying as well, but the liquid is so corrosive that it can eat through stone in seconds.  When these creatures are on the road, all citizens are warned to stay inside and plug up all of the plumbing.  Special units with protective gear are sent out to gather as many Flimblepops as possible.  All attempts to eradicate them have failed since they reproduce asexually and weekly.  The only reason they have not taken over Lozbo completely is because they are ravenous cannibals.

Grumblebee

Harmless and adorable, this is the angriest bee in the world.  It has a single hive found on Lady McMisses farm and produces only 100 jars of honey each year.  They don’t look much different from most species of bumblebee.  They are chubby with a dark yellow and black stripe pattern.  Their wings are slightly bigger and have a crimson hue due to the red pollen they collect from the surrounding gardens.  Regardless of their appearance and yield, they still bring her in thousands of dollars.  This is due to tourists who want to listen to the Grumblebees’ unique sound.  Instead of humming, they release a low grumble as if a small child is complaining about getting scolded.  People enjoy visiting and seeing if they can pick out real words in the mix.  Scientists have been analyzing the noise for signs of communication, which they feel would help them understand the hive dynamic.  There has only been one incident of someone getting stung by a Grumblebee and many feel it was because he grumbled something offensive to them.

Spelim

This insect has adapted to live in the suburbs and go relatively unnoticed.  Its skin changes color to blend into whatever it is standing on as long as it does not move.  This is not unique, but it is combined with the Spelim’s incredibly flexible body.  They are able to twist themselves into any shape and take in enough air to increase their size.  One would expect this to make them stand out even with their camouflage.  It doesn’t because the Spelim does this while adhering to small signs such as those for streets or in the windows of stores.  They twist their body to the same shape as whatever letter they are standing on and blend into the sign completely.  It is only at night that they dare to move, so this is clearly a defense mechanism to protect against birds.  Spelim do have wings, but they rarely use them out of fear of getting picked out of the sky.

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‘The Ballad of Mrs. Molony’ by C.S. Boyack (Delivered by Lisa Burton the Robot Girl) #supernatural #vampires

It’s been a long time, so I’m happy to introduce Lisa Burton the Robot Girl once more.  She’s bringing us some news about C.S. Boyack’s ‘The Hat’ series, which is a funny adventure involving supernatural threats, a talking Hat, and the badass girl who is its partner . . . wearer?  Look, this is a fun series and I highly recommend the books, which have been getting extra attention this month.  Now, take it away, Ms. Burton.

Thanks for having me back, Charles. It’s been hard getting out during the past year. While robot girls don’t have to worry about some things, it’s better if I fit in. Wearing a mask soooooo isn’t my style.

Craig is trying something new. Now that he has a series, he wanted to do a series blog tour. Since it’s October, The Hat Series seemed like the way to go. He’s pushing the whole series, by doing one volume per week all month long. That’s a lot of bases to cover, so he sent me out to help with some of the stops.

I get to talk about The Ballad of Mrs. Molony. As the series lengthened, it occurred to Craig that the stories would need some recurring characters. He fleshed out the band members and expanded upon their personalities, but that only covers one aspect of these tales. There are times when the band isn’t involved in the scenes.

Enter Kevin Mugford. Kevin has to be the worst vampire of all time. He has deformed teeth that protrude through his gums, and a speech impediment. He also drools, and it’s kind of nasty. Kevin has a problem, so he turned to Lizzie and the hat for help.

Turns out Kevin’s sister has been kidnapped by a pair of vicious vampires. They use her like some kind of livestock to feed from when other options are limited. These vamps kill their victims, and even local vamps fear them.

Lizzie wants to help the girl, but the hat doesn’t trust Kevin. He wants to stake him, because he’s a vampire, too. This series has a lot of humor in it, so the hat pokes a lot of fun at Kevin’s expense.

The adventure involves a subculture of Americana, in that these vampires stalk the rodeo circuit. They used to be team ropers when they were alive. This forces Lizzie and The Pythons, to take up a new style of music. Rodeo dances make great places to hunt cowboy vampires.

They handle the music fairly well, but manage to slip some rockers into their playlist from time to time. It seems a lot of rockers had a tune with a country vibe. That is, until Lizzie gets fed up and goes total Van Halen one night.

This is Kevin’s entry point. He appears in subsequent books, and it’s kind of nice to have a street informant, even if he slobbers.

I should mention that The Ballad of Mrs. Molony has some free days this week. It’s all wrapping up today, so if you or your fans want a copy they should grab one PDQ. Don’t worry about it being the third book. Craig worked pretty hard to make sure each title stands alone. If this is your entry point, you’ll be just fine.

When I visit places, I always like to bring one of my posters. I pose as various characters for all of Craig’s publications. This one is from The Ballad of Mrs. Molony. You know with Craig’s kind of humor, there had to be a cowboy showdown somewhere along the line. I look like a total badass here. Anyhoooo, your readers should feel free to pin it, tweet it, or use it as a Halloween phone background.


Universal link for the series: http://mybook.to/The-Hat-Series

Blurb: The Hat Series is my opportunity to have a little fun, and readers seem to be enjoying themselves, too. The series fits into a variety of pigeonholes as all stories do. If you’re looking for supernatural, paranormal, or urban fantasy, with a dose of dark humor, this might be the series you’re looking for.

Lizzie St. Laurent is a hard working twenty-something. She’s struggling with the issues of being a young adult, but also dealing with the supernatural world. After her grandmother died, she tried to get a memento from the estate. Her greedy uncle refused to share, so in desperation, she stole a box from the moving van.

Her treasure turned out to be an old hat that belonged to her grandfather. Not exactly the knickknack she was hoping for. This isn’t any ordinary hat. He’s actually a being from another dimension who was brought here by witchcraft. He has a few magical skills, but also some more ordinary ones. He can transport her to a cabin, deep in the forest, among other things. A bit more ordinary is his ability to play the upright bass, but only if he has a human host to manipulate. He’s also a shapeshifter, but is limited to always being a hat of some kind.

The hat has been in Lizzie’s family for centuries, and all of his partners have been monster hunters. Their symbiotic relationship also created an additional income stream for Lizzie. They formed a small cover band, which tends gets them out at night when monster hunting is more productive.

I put all kinds of strange things into these stories to make them fun. My section breaks have all been replaced with a series of bass clefs. I also include silly graphics in various locations to enhance the tales. You’ll find tons of snark mixed in with your blood and adventure.

These are short novels, designed for a single afternoon. While it is a series, they can be read as stand-alone tales. If one of the other volumes is your entry-point, I don’t think you’ll feel lost.

If this sounds like something to make your October complete, I’d appreciate you checking it out.

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Immortal Wars: Light, Blood, & Tears Part 34

(Disclaimer: A warning to those who continue.  This is a sequel to a previous story.  Both of these were written in the mid-1990’s.  While the first one was slightly edited and vanity press published, this one has not been touched in over 20 years.  I figure I should do something with it and people may get a laugh or fright from how I used to be.  Every author comes from somewhere, so this is part of my origin.  To that end, I am deeply sorry for whatever nightmares I will inflict on the literary world and the American English language.  Enjoy?)

PREVIOUS ENTRY CLICK HERE

Meanwhile, the female guardians are trapped on the deck of the Intrepid and they are waiting for Tegam to talk.  He had tied them up in strong sun-forged chains and spent the following hour in confused silence.  Occasionally, he would be on the verge of talking, but a sudden thought always stopped him.  So, Hydrana finally decided to start asking her own questions.

“What do you want with us, jester?” she asks.  Miracle is still pretty dazed from her fight with the concrete serpent.  She simply stares at the redheaded man standing before them.

“Actually, I only wanted to talk to Kelly.  Your arrival and capture was an accident.  But you should hear what I have to say as well.  Have you figured out anything about my recent changes?” replies Tegam.

“Only that you were under the Earth weapon’s control.  You aren’t really a villain or at least you didn’t start out as one.”

“Exactly.  Right on target.  Not a bull’s eye, but you’re close.  You young heroes can be very intelligent when you want to be.  I was originally a hero along with our old friend Solix.  But Adriana’s group took control of me instead of killing me.  I don’t know her reasons, but it had something to do with my specific planet.”

“Hold it!  Hit the rewind button, Tegam.  You’re saying that you were one of the ten original planet guardians!” exclaims Miracle.  She breaks her metal bonds by pushing her arms out as hard as she can and jumps to her feet.  The other guardian stands up, but freezes Tegam to the aircraft carrier’s deck before breaking free in the same manner as her friend.

“This isn’t necessary.  I wanted to talk about me being one of the original guardians.  To be more precise, the original Neptune guardian.  There is no need for any form of violence.”

“Fine.  I’ll let you go on one condition.  You must promise to answer every single question that we ask.  I don’t want any cryptic responses or half-truths.  Understand that, prankster,” growls Hydrana as she unfreezes the immortal.

“Of course.  I’m not Solix, so I don’t like keeping secrets that I am allowed to tell.  Now, what do you want to know?”

“If you are the original Neptune guardian, how is it that I have a part of you inside me?  You never died when you were supposed to.”

“I’m eternally thankful for that.  But that Tegam died as soon as Adriana caught him in her skin­tight web.  You see, the Glebnoks had created the original guardians as universal protectors.  We were genetically programmed to be erased from existence if we lost that purpose.  So, when I strayed from my path and turned to evil, my genetic programming should have terminated me on the spot,” explains Tegam as he uses the magic whip to turn some missiles into a comfortable living room set.

“Why didn’t it?” inquires Miracle.

“Just like God’s creation, the guardians evolved beyond our creator’s strongest expectations.  But, like I said, that old Tegam is dead and long gone.  I am a brand new man with shattered images that serve as my memory.  Thankfully, the pictures are rapidly starting to reform.”

“Okay.  Now, what do I have to do with any of this?  I’m the new Venus guardian, not the old one.  I would think that Hydrana would be the more likely person for you to talk to,” mentions Miracle as she sits in a recliner.

“I know that my past deals primarily with Neptune.  But I want the two of you to follow me in one of your space skimmers.  Adriana will certainly send a force to kill both the Glebnoks and myself.  They are the one’s that hold the rest of my memory.  I cannot stop Adriana’s forces and find the rest of my past without your help.  Before you answer me, I can assure you that Fate and Infinity will be fine by themselves.  Infinity is insignificant to both Draveon and Adriana while Fate is extremely important to Adriana.  I can’t tell you why, but she will not let him die during this particular battle.  She has some long term plans for him.”  He ignores the Venus guardian’s bored expression and concentrates on staring at the fading stars.

“You didn’t answer my question.  Why me?”

“How can I put this?  Before I became one of the evil immortals, I knew this incredible woman.”

“Oh no.  Here it comes,” Hydrana whispers with a sudden smile.

“She was a beautiful Glebnok of some importance, who was named Brina.  Her long hair was as soft and black as a panther’s pelt.  She had these eyes that resembled a pair of flawless emeralds.  I can remember every tiny physical detail about her, which includes her unique birthmark.  It was shaped like a domino mask and it was on the back of her perfect neck.  She was. . .”

“Stop with the long-winded description.  Just come out and say it, Tegam.  I’m a dead ringer for your old lover.  Even down to the birthmark.  So, how do I fit into your past?” Miracle interrupts.  She slowly moves her hair to the side in order to show the other two immortals the small, domino mask birthmark.

“For our resident genius, you sure can’t take a big hint.  You resemble Brina, so Tegam trusts you enough to ask for your help.  I, for one, think we should help him regain his freedom and some kind of a good life.  It also means we might get the Glebnoks as allies,” says Hydrana.  Suddenly, Tegam vanishes and the space shuttle’s engines start.  The ship is taking off by the time the two female guardians get off the Intrepid.

“Can you track him while we’re in the space skimmer?” the Venus guardian asks while they sprint toward Central Park at their top speed.

“It’s unnerving.  I can clearly track him in deep space with these new senses.  I can see his shuttle’s heat trail and smell the burning atomic fuel.  Why?”

“Because we’re going to follow him.  By ourselves.”

Hydrana is a few steps behind Miracle as she yells, “This is going to be some girls’ night out.  I hope we survive this or at least get some shopping in.”

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Monsters of Windemere: Dark Mites

Wargs (Closest I could get)

Full disclosure: I’m not sure I’ve used the dark mites yet.  I swear I’ve written scenes with them, but I can’t recall.  There’s a perfectly good reason for this too.  The origins of the dark mites are:

High school

Similar to the Paura Rider in Quest of the Brokenhearted, which I just noticed has fewer reviews than I remember, the dark mites were from the first fantasy story I ever came up with.  They were crafted during a weekend where the weather was terrible, I had no homework, and didn’t have any interest in video games.  So, I went on a monster creation run until I ran out of steam.  Many weren’t that interesting, but the dark mites have routinely reappeared in my mind.  I do know they’re in some outlines around here for future books.  So, if I haven’t done it yet then I’ll get them out there one day.

So, what are the dark mites?  From the picture, you can tell that they’re connected to wolves.  From the name, you get the sense of shadows and smallness.  There you have my logic.  Dark mites are an enormous pack/swarm of wolves no bigger than a hamster.  I would say mouse, but their furry tails always make me think they’re still larger.  They have sharp claws and teeth as well as incredibly speed.  I always imagine their hunting style to be similar to piranha than actual wolves.  So, they are very dangerous in that they can swarm and devour an unarmored body very quickly.  Those who are sleeping in the wild need to be careful since they are fearless.  You would have hundreds in a swarm with a few even getting over one thousand if they have the resources.  Thankfully, they don’t go near human settlements.  Nocturnal to the core, so the lights of a village keep them at bay.

The big reason the dark mites haven’t really turned up is because of my own mentality.  I keep thinking of them as pre-Great Cataclysm creatures.  They were designed so early in my life/career/hobby that they feel ancient.  Windemere wasn’t even a thing when they were terrorizing my early heroes in test scenes.  So, I have trouble dropping them in as a modern threat.  Are they extinct?  No, but they’re definitely rare and lurk in regions that aren’t commonly visited.  I’m gradually introducing locations that hold remnants of the older world, so the dark mites will turn up.  Probably in caves or forests plagued with eternal night.

Not much else to really say about the dark mites.  They’re another simple creature that fits a niche in my mind.  I find these to be the best monsters because they can be used more than once.  I like my monsters to feel like part of the environment instead of something foreign.  Dragons and demons stand out because of their nature, but everything else needs to fit within the context of the land.  This is why simplicity works out so much better than complicated beasts.  The stranger and more complex it is, the harder it is to fit it into a biological niche beyond ultra-destructive predator.  In those cases, people start to wonder how it hasn’t decimated the landscape with its ferocious attitude.  I know I question that every time I make a monster.

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Things Old and Forgotten

I’m so excited to have Mae Clair at Entertaining Stories once more. She’s here to tell us about a new collection of short stories she’s published. …

Things Old and Forgotten
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Teaser Tuesday: Are You Sure About This?

Cover Art by Alison Hunt

I’ve probably used this excerpt from War of Nytefall: Loyalty before, but it’s definitely one of my favorites.  It shows Chastity at her best and the relationship that she has with Mab.  At least at the start because they stopped picking on each other about halfway through the series.  Enjoy.

Continue reading

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October Questions 3: Choosing a Side

War of Nytefall

Welcome back to another War of Nytefall Questions 3 post.  It’s getting a little harder to decide on where to go with this.  Powers and how to pretend to be mortal covers a lot of ground without going into monstrous activity.  Although, I do believe not everyone would be on Clyde’s side.  Let’s play with that.

Now, we’re still working with the idea that we’re Dawn Fang vampires.  There are 2 factions that you can join:

  • Nytefall is Clyde’s kingdom where they are working to secretly integrate into mortal society.  Then, they’ll do a big reveal and hopefully everyone will be ready to listen instead of getting terrified right away.
  • Nyte is Xavier Tempest’s kingdom, which is also the old vampire nation.  He started wanting to wipe out or enslave the Dawn Fangs, but now it’s all about ruling the vampire nation then slowly working towards taking over the mortals.  This would be through fear in some regions and behind-the-scenes in others.  Either way, Dawn Fangs would rule Windemere.
  • I know someone is going to think of being unaffiliated, but these don’t typically last.  They’re always womb-born (Dawn Fangs born from sex and natural birth), which means they are this way because they aren’t aware of the conflict.  This also means they aren’t aware of the secrecy rules.  Inevitably, these Dawn Fangs become known to one of the other factions and either recruited or destroyed.  It really depends on who approaches them and how they handled it.

So, the questions:

  1. Would you join Nyte or Nytefall?
  2. Why did you make this decision?
  3. What could cause you to switch sides?

Note–  The reason Nytefall and Nyte have similar names is because Clyde is a jerk towards Xavier.  The original kingdom was named Nyte, so Clyde chose Nytefall.

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#MKTG – Part 6 – Pinterest #SocialMediaMarketing #Pinterest

Hello, SE’rs. It’s Jan again with another look at social media marketing. The topic today is Pinterest. I kept seeing the option to promote pop-up …

#MKTG – Part 6 – Pinterest #SocialMediaMarketing #Pinterest
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Halloween Songs: Devil Tunes

I have a feeling some people might get antsy about the topic.  Still, if there’s any month to put up a bunch of songs involving the Devil then it would be October.  I can’t say I’m surprised that there are so many too.  Easier to find than songs about vampires or werewolves.  Enjoy.

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Goal Post: Not an Author Week

So, I’m going to start with something weird.  People need to stop hoping I have a good week.  Only because the opposite seems to occur when I or other people do this.  Chaos rules and I’m left sore, sad, and dragging myself through the weekend.  This isn’t a weekend for rest either, which means I’m not entering the week with full energy.  Let’s just hope I survive or something.  Maybe hoping is what causes whoever controls the universe to start whacking me upside the head?

Last weekend did work out for the most part.  My friend came over to hang out even thought it was a day shorter than planned.  Things came up, but we got things to work out and spent most of our time playing video games.  That was something I needed because I knew this week would be rough.  Could only imagine what shape I’d be in if I didn’t get a few fun days in.  Hard enough functioning after my calf muscle locked up in my sleep one night and my right shoulder ached during a rainy day.  If the body is falling apart then the mind needs to stay strong . . . Well, I’m boned!

As I said in the title, I didn’t get any author stuff done.  I’m hoping to put more edits into the final draft as the week progresses and get it all done next weekend.  Oh, this is for War of Nytefall: Eulogy and I’m still getting blog posts ready for that too.  It’s a lot of juggling, which I can’t do at work since my laptop is no longer portable.  Tried closing it earlier this week and heard a crack from the casing that made me stop.  Can’t afford a new machine right now and it still works as long as I keep it open.

So, what did most of my week entail?  Parenting and work.  The latter was busy with PSAT’s and preparing for future events.  All I can say there.  Parenting was crazy because my son had a big math test.  He also seems to have joined a club, but doesn’t remember when and how.  It’s fun though, which is a plus.  Of course, he came back from a trip with a cough, which caused headaches.  You can imagine what had to be done and what people were thinking.  Thankfully, I got everything taken care of and he didn’t miss any school for what is a dwindling cold.  Better safe than sorry these days, but it’s a lot of stress on an already worn psyche.

I’m also trying to figure out breakfast for him, which will help with a certain aspect of his health.  This is very dangerous to mention on a blog because I know people will come rushing in with their opinions.  That’s why I’m being vague.  Of course, I’ll sit here wondering where they’ve been when I’m promoting my books and if they’ve bought copies of the War of Nytefall series.  Thankfully, I’ve already been told what to do and how to do it, but the trick is getting him to eat in the morning.  You can bring a kid to food, but you can’t make them eat, especially with a deadline.  So, I’m looking at a few weeks of trail and error.  Our first morning was a partial success though.  The sandwich failed horribly because it fell apart, but I think I figured out how to make it better and remove the unnecessary pieces.

I might try to type up some of my hand edits or blog posts this weekend, but I doubt I’ll have the time.  Got a family event one day and an important outing with my son on the other.  Promised video game time too since he hasn’t gotten to try ‘One Piece: Pirate Warriors 3’.  Honestly, I’ll be happy with low levels of stress, but I’m not going to hold my breath on that considering what’s going on.  If I can get a few blog posts written by the end of the weekend then that’s good enough.  I can do editing throughout the week if I get any time at night.  Think I have 194 pages to do and it’s just typing in the changes I wrote on the printout.  That shouldn’t take long, right?

Obligatory television paragraph is rather thin.  I started an anime called ‘Magic Users Club’ and stopped 8 episodes in because I wasn’t following it.  Jumped to the newest episodes of ‘Leverage: Redemption’, but I didn’t rush through.  So tired that I put on old sitcoms most nights and watched until I dozed off.  Haven’t decided on what I really want to watch, especially with a weekend to myself coming up.  I like action, fantasy, sci-fi, and anime, so all of the serious and gory stuff people are into don’t appeal to me.  Maybe I’ll toss on a classic anime like ‘Trigun’ or ‘Desert Punk’.  Saving ‘Cowboy Bebop’ for when I see a release date for the live-action version.  Going to be staying on the fence about that one for a while since I can’t tell anything from what they’ve shown.

So, goals of the week?

  1. Work
  2. Help son with schoolwork.
  3. Blog posts for War of Nytefall: Eulogy
  4. Type in edits for War of Nytefall: Eulogy
  5. Try to get a good night’s sleep
  6. Whatever I remembered around #2 and forgot
  7. Possibly get a Lego set specifically for me.  Struggling with the price tag since I always have trouble buying fun stuff for myself that isn’t on a clearance rack.
  8. Prepare the Sunday posts I keep forgetting.
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