My Poetry ebook is now available for purchase!

A new poetry book available on Smashwords!

Jennifer David Writings of a Mrs's avatar

The first anthology of my work The Vault is available for purchase!!

You can find it here:  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/365167

Will you be the first one to buy it?

I want to thank my entire blog community for inspiring me and encouraging me along the way!

I also want to give a big thank you to Laura Lords for all of her help with designing the cover, I

think it turned out beautifully!

Cheers and continued success to you all!

Jennifer David

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Cinematic Pet Peeves

My friend, John W. Howell, is a funny man and made a post today about what not to do when on a movie date.  I got to thinking about my movie pet peeves.  So, upon request, I’m going to make a silly list:

Waldorf and Statler

Waldorf and Statler

  1. The cellphone!  I can handle vibration mode because for all I know the person is really, really lonely.  Who am I to judge?  Just turn the brightness down, buddy.  It’s a strange annoyance, but noticing a glowing fucking light to the side while watching the movie is distracting.  Besides, if you’re going to play Angry Birds instead of watch the movie, have some fucking skill in it.
  2. Kicking of my seat.  Funny thing is that I can take it from kids as long as the parent tries to stop them.  Not parental move then I get annoyed and will glance back with a ‘I will dump popcorn on your spawn’ look.  It’s when a fully grown adult does this that I have no patience.  I could be mature and ask them to stop.  I could also be a jerk and moan erotically with every kick.  Add in a ‘hit me harder, daddy’ and we’ll see how quickly that stops.
  3. Ever go walking to your seat and your foot suddenly feels cold?  You look back a few chairs and find your shoe is stuck to the floor.  People do realize theaters have cup holders now, right?  No reason for a soda to be on the floor.
  4. Whispering questions to your friend during the movie.  It can wait until the ride home or the credits.  If you’re so confused then maybe you should have paid more attention to the movie.  Also, do people assume everyone has seen the movie without them?  I have no idea why something happened on the screen during my first viewing.  If you’re that concerned then read spoilers beforehand.
  5. People that are on another viewing of the movie and talk.  This movie must be great for you to see it again.  Happy you’re a fan.  Not happy that you keep yelling ‘this is going to be great!’ or ‘wait for it!’.  If I could find you in this dark theater, I would beat you with your milk duds.
  6. Bringing a child to a Rated-R movie.  I’m not talking a teenager, but a small child that can’t even get into a PG movie.  It’s really disturbing to be watching a movie with gore and sex in the midst of a screaming toddler.  I’m not sure what parental award you’re going for, but I hope it comes with a lifetime of free therapy.  That 7-year-old had no fucking business seeing Jason butcher a bunch of teenagers.  Although, your plan could be to make sure your child never goes to camp or has sex.  If that is the case then congratulations, you’re still a fuckhead.
  7. “I paid for my ticket, so I can do what I want!”  I love this argument if you ever confront a rude movie goer.  I paid for my ticket too, but you don’t see me acting like a prick.  Yet there is a point here.  I paid for my ticket too, buddy.  That means I can do what I want as well.  So, I’ll give you a 5 minute window to set up an appointment with a skilled proctologist before I solve your cellphone addiction.
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What Do You Think of Switching Heroes in a Series?

Raiden from Metal Gear Solid Series.  (Crime of not being Solid Snake.)

Raiden from Metal Gear Solid Series. (Crime of not being Solid Snake.)

For those that don’t know the story behind Raiden: There is a popular video game series called Metal Gear Solid.  My friend is big into this series, so he knows more than me.  I do know that the main character of the first Metal Gear Solid was Solid Snake (codename, of course) and they changed things in Metal Gear Solid 2.  The change was that you played as Snake for a bit in the beginning and then you play the main game as Raiden.  People didn’t really expect this and Raiden got destroyed because he was the effeminate male hero instead of the grizzled macho hero like Snake.  Basically, he was to step in as the new hero and failed because people didn’t want him.  I believe something similar happened when they tried to make Gohan the main hero of Dragonball Z instead of his father, Goku.

For long series, this seems to happen because the main hero has ended his story.  There is typically a transition period where the new hero works with the old one and you have a passing of the torch.  If I learned anything from playing MGS2, it’s that you don’t just hurl a new hero into a series without easing people into him.  The character has to earn the role of being the new hero.  So, it’s entirely possible to successfully do something like this if you plan ahead and prepare your audience.

There are some shows that I’ve seen where the first hero is killed off and a new one is brought in.  Off the top of my head, I’m thinking of Primeval and I was iffy on such a change.  You have character loyalty, so you’ll lose some people using this method.  It can help to upgrade a secondary character to the main hero status, but you need to lay the groundwork for this.  Although, there is the possibility of making the new guy struggle with trying to live up to the former hero’s reputation.

Aside from the above suggestions, I think the following can help:

  • Don’t make the new hero severely weaker than the former hero.  People might think they’re getting cheated.
  • Don’t make the new hero extremely stronger than the former hero.  People might not understand why the former hero has to retire if he’s not the stronger one.
  • Give yourself time to get the opinion of the audience and adjust if necessary.
  • If you fail in your second hero, DO NOT PANIC!  Try to calmly find a way to fix it and don’t destroy the series in desperation to keep going.  This includes returning the first hero without a good reason.

So, what do people think of a book, movie, video game, or television series that changes the main hero?

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Syndicate Spotlight #14: Tales From The Shores Of The Dead

Free Zombie Novella! Papi Z Approved.

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Book and Author Sign-Up Forms Now Available at Read Tuesday

Indie authors! Now you can enroll in the Read Tuesday promotion set to debut on December 10, 2013. It’s like Black Friday and Cyber Monday only for Indie Books.

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Ask Badass and Blade: Phi Beta Blog Post in the Making Pantless Redux

Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun

Vash and Wolfwood from Trigun

Simple post really.  Greg (Badass) and me (Blade) want to do a fun post next Saturday.  To explain us:

Greg and I were college roommates for our freshman year and nearly killed each other for matters best left to a court of law.  That being said, people have mistaken us for childhood friends because of our ability to drag each other into the pits of immaturity.  I blame Hathaway and he blames pants.  We talk a lot with in-jokes, Futurama quotes, and random phrases we’ve grabbed along the way.

Now, we both became part of a faux fraternity called Phi Beta . . . Booty.  Greg and two of our friends were the original founders.  I joined an hour afterward because I was at class when they came up with the idea.  Either at class, playing D&D, or begging to be let into the cafeteria because I missed lunch.  Anyway, this is where a lot of our comedy comes from and our nicknames such as Badass and Blade.  He’s badass and I had several swords hidden around my room.

So, we want to bring our comedy to you next Saturday.  It’s rare that we get together, so it’s a present for our zeroes of fans.  Ask away and we’ll see what we can do.  As usual, Greg and I expect this to go horribly wrong because nothing we ever plan goes right.  Seriously, we fucked up killing a moth with rolled up magazines.  Both swung and woke up a few minutes later on the floor.  Questions?

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Goal Post: Phi Beta and Birthdays!

Myself (fatter), Greg, and Mock Violence

Myself (fatter), Greg, and Mock Violence

This is going to be a busy leading into another busy week.  So, I’m working on scheduling my posts for the next two weeks by the end of the weekend.  I’m stumped on a week from this Tuesday and beyond.

Why will it be so busy?  Friday is the wife’s birthday, so we’re having a gathering.  So far, only the crazy man you see above is coming.  That’s the infamous Greg and expect a Phi Beta Blog post next Saturday done by the two of us.  I’ll make a post later today asking for questions that we can use for comedy.  Barring that, we’ll pick a random topic and make a skit.  It’ll be Phi Beta Badass (Greg) and Phi Beta Blade (Me) up to our old shenanigans.  And by old I mean our brittle old man hips will be in danger.  Anyway, Greg arrives Friday afternoon and Saturday is the day of celebration.  I won’t be on much beyond doing a little book promotion.  After all, if I don’t do it, who will?

The week after is when my parents are going to be away, but I keep hearing a ‘we might not go’ thing right now.  If they go then I’m home alone with the toddler on Columbus Day and I only have mornings and early afternoons for the rest of the week after that.  So, I’ll need to push on the editing while doing the cooking and cleaning too.  My blogging might slip down to quick ‘likes’ and simple comments.  Unfortunately, my iPhone never shows me when I get a response to a comment on another person’s blog, which means I might not be responding until the evening.  Again, I’ll be using what little time I have for book  promotion.

Here’s the to-do list:

  1. Got all blog posts ready, so I don’t have to worry.  I’ll gladly take poem or topic requests since I need to fill Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday.  Not the coming ones, but the ones after.
  2. Finish hand-editing Legends of Windemere: Family of the Tri-Rune and begin typing them in.
  3. Take the wife out to matinee and lunch on Monday because we won’t have a babysitter for her actual birthday.  So far it’s Don Jon and Red Robin.
  4. Remember to pick Greg up at train station.  Also remember to take him home, but that will kick in when I realize I’ll have to feed him if he stays.
  5. Get a cake on the way back from getting Greg.
  6. Remember to fill out birthday cards for wife.
  7. Go food shopping for the week we’re on our own.
  8. Make the Phi Beta Blog Post.  Hopefully, people ask some questions.
  9. Rue the day.
  10. Try to get into a better mood.

That’s pretty much it.  I’ll be a basket case for a while.  Probably get worse the closer I get to Halloween because I’m still hoping to debut my third book then.  May be cutting it close.

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Read Tuesday: Like Black Friday, Except for Book Sales (It’s Going to Be HUGE!)

First post of Read Tuesday. All authors should take a look at this.

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The Mood

Original posted on The Community Storyboard.  Check it out and submit your writing.

Is it the weather?
That sinks me into gloom.
Head aching
Against the stormy sky
Making me feel lone

Is it those I meet?
Too happy for my nature
Or feeding my darkness
Blinding me with light
Or dragging me to misery

Is it life?
Eating at my edges
Until the nerves are raw
Exposing me to pain
That always seeps back in

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Never Say Never Blog Tour!

Never Say Never Blog Tour!

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