Post Revisited- Sneaky Munchkin

This is a son post from October 8th, 2014.  I’m noticing there is a lot of blog activity in October.  At the very least, it’s one of the months where I had a lot less in terms of reblogs, promo posts, and stuff that isn’t really repeat worthy.  Oh, and the little guy has gotten a little sneakier, but no big events.

Towel Time

Typically, the little guy is about as sneaky as an elephant in a living room.  Trust me when I say that makes sense in my head.  So he’ll come running down a hallway yelling about how he’s going to hug you.  He tends to announce his actions or walk into a room screaming a greeting.  So when he does sneak off somewhere, it’s pretty nerve-rattling for me.  I always expect him to pop right up behind me since he’s been my little shadow for years.  Here are the four best heart attack moments with him ‘vanishing’:

The Bounce House Place

My wife and I took the little guy to a Bouncy Castle Place over the summer.  He ran around with the horde of kids as they enjoyed the 5-6 bouncy areas and a tube structure.  At one point, he was the lone kid on a bouncy Pirate Ship.  I looked around and saw that there was only one way in and out.  As a few more kids went in, my wife told me she had to stop out for a second.  She was explaining something and I thought I was keeping an eye on my son since I was standing next to the ONLY entrance/exit to this thing.  The wife went off and I took a peek inside the Pirate Ship to find that someone wasn’t in there.  Took a minute (felt like 5 minutes) to make sure he wasn’t hiding.  I went walking up and down the play area in search of him, including asking a few of the workers if they saw a blonde-haired moppet running around.  I found him asking other adults where his mommy and daddy went.  He scrambled out for the half a second my back was turned, but I thought my wife (who was facing him) would notice.  Nope.  Tend to forget she isn’t the most alert person due to her ADD.  Anyway, I found him and we had a discuss about making sure we know where he is.  Then he gave me the same lecture because I admitted that I wandered off too.

I Know He’s In This House!

It’s rare that I don’t know where my son is in the house.  I can usually hear him or swiftly check his usual haunts.  Well, he found a new one when he was 3.  Now I wasn’t there when he disappeared because I went to take a shower.  Again the wife was distracted and my mom didn’t have her ears in, which my son takes full advantage of when he picks up on the fact.  I came down asking where he was and nobody knew.  The search was on and we had no idea.  Then I went into my parents’ room and noticed a bit of blankie sticking out from behind the bed.  He crawled into the space beneath the headboard and curled up for a nap.  Not the easiest place to get him out of because nobody could fit in there and every piece of ‘bait’ was snatched and pulled back into his new lair.

Our One Attempt at a Movie Night

One day in 2012, my wife and I did something we hadn’t done for a while.  We went to an evening movie while my parents watched the little guy.  This was back when we still used a baby monitor and he was used to sleeping in a bed instead of a crib.  Well, we came back from the movie and my wife went to ask my parents how things went.  They said things were great and he was asleep.  I had gone upstairs, but about halfway up I saw a shadow dart across the hallway and into my son’s room.  He was ‘asleep’ in his bed with the blanket over him.  In our room, I found a stack of DVD’s in the middle of the floor and a pile of papers in the dirty laundry.  Also someone had left a pair of shoes by the door.  I think the best part is that I asked him if he was a sleep and he confidently said yes.  We haven’t tried a night movie since then because we know he’d do the same stunt, but with more mischief.  Matinees are cheaper anyway.

The BIGGEST Heart Attack

When my son was 3, he demonstrated a strange temperature allergy.  If he went from a hot area to a cold area or vice versa then he broke out into hives.  You can already tell where this is going and it was during a very chilly November.  In fact, I believe it was on Thanksgiving.  Everyone was running around and I had rushed to the basement to do a little laundry.  It was one of those moments where everyone thought someone else had the kid.  I walked upstairs and didn’t hear him.  I wandered around asking if anyone had seen him and then I heard him singing.  I was searching for around 10 minutes and add the 5 that I spent in the basement.  Where was he?  We have a Sun Room, which is connected to the kitchen by a door that had remained closed.  He wandered out there, closed the door behind him, and sat at the table in 30-40 degree weather.  He had stripped down to his t-shirt and diaper too.  Normally it’s the mother that screams the kid’s name and runs for him, but it was me.  He was freezing when I grabbed him and complaining that I was ruining his fun as I rushed him back into the house.  Though he thought the ‘tickling’ was entertaining even though it was me warming him up.

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‘Legends of Windemere: The Mercenary Prince’ has Arrived! #fantasy

Now on Amazon for $2.99!
LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE:
THE MERCENARY PRINCE

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Delvin Cunningham has left the champions.

Lost to his tribe in the Yagervan Plains, fear and shame have kept the former Mercenary Prince away from his homeland. With his confidence crumbling, he has decided to return and bring closure to his past. Reuniting with his old friends, Delvin’s timing could not be worse as a deadly campaign is brewing within Yagervan’s borders. Dawn Fangs are on the march and these powerful vampires are determined to turn the entire region into a graveyard.

To protect his family, friends, and two homelands, Delvin will have to push his doubt away and become the cunning Mercenary Prince once again.

Art by Jason Pedersen

Art by Jason Pedersen

Please feel free to put this on your ‘To Read’ list on Goodreads by clicking below:

The Mercenary Prince on Goodreads!

Excerpt from The Mercenary Prince

With the hint of a smirk, Selenia quickens her pace and unleashes a barrage of blows on her former student. Each strike and stab is deflected by the sweat-covered champion, his speed increasing to match her every time. At one point, the half-elf leaps forward and is struck in her stomach by his shield, which forces her to flip over his head. The headmistress lands in a crouch and whirls around to block the counterattack, the point of Delvin’s sword gently running along the leather patch over her stomach. Realizing that he is still holding back, Selenia bats his next attack away and delivers a painful kick to his exposed side. The blow knocks him against the fountain and he comes dangerously close to falling into the water.

While rubbing his bruised side, Delvin circles the headmistress who turns to continue facing him. He makes a few feints that she refuses to acknowledge because they are clumsy and pathetically amateurish. The gathered students and teachers shout for more action, all of them believing the brown-haired warrior to be afraid of the legendary woman. None of them realize that his circles have been getting tighter and his fake attacks have caused Selenia to misjudge his distance. It is something she realizes when Delvin makes a quick swing for her hip and their weapons strike closer to their hilts than she expects. The moment the half-elf steps back to gain some space, her former student pushes forward with precise strikes that mirror the onslaught she previously unleashed. Without a shield, the headmistress finds it more difficult to block every attack and has to twist her body away from several attacks. The movements prevent her from throwing a kick or punch, which would probably hit the shield that he has yet to include in his advance.

Selenia eventually catches Delvin’s blade and slides her weapon along its edge to step within his swinging range. The pair push against each other, their muscles straining to gain the upper hand. Every time one of them is about to gain ground, their opponent shifts enough to continue the frustrating stalemate. With a grunt of exertion, Delvin moves his shield in front of the headmistress’s face and blocks her view. Knowing she is expecting him to push forward, the warrior falls onto his back and lets the surprised half-elf’s momentum slam her face into the wooden disc. The back of his head bounces off the ground as he flicks his wrist to deliver an extra shot to Selenia’s chin. She rolls away from him to recover her senses, but Delvin scrambles to keep her in reach and continue his attack as they stand.

“You actually hit me,” Selenia states when she notices that her nose is bleeding. She ducks under her opponent’s swing and aims her hilt for his stomach, the blow only grazing his shirt. “I think you’ve achieved two firsts for this academy, Delvin. Nobody has ever drawn my blood or made me dizzy during a match.”

Want to Dive into the Adventure from the Beginning?

Find all of these exciting adventures by visiting the Amazon Author Page of Charles E. Yallowitz

So charge up your Kindle and end 2015 with an adventure full of action, humor, old friends, new enemies, grudge matches, tears, ale, and vampires.

author-photoAbout the Author:

Charles Yallowitz was born and raised on Long Island, NY, but he has spent most of his life wandering his own imagination in a blissful haze. Occasionally, he would return from this world for the necessities such as food, showers, and Saturday morning cartoons. One day he returned from his imagination and decided he would share his stories with the world. After his wife decided that she was tired of hearing the same stories repeatedly, she convinced him that it would make more sense to follow his dream of being a fantasy author. So, locked within the house under orders to shut up and get to work, Charles brings you Legends of Windemere. He looks forward to sharing all of his stories with you, and his wife is happy he finally has someone else to play with.

Blog: Legends of Windemere
Twitter: @cyallowitz
Facebook: Charles Yallowitz
Website: www.charleseyallowitz.com

Posted in Legends of Windemere, Spotlight, The Mercenary Prince | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Dawn Fangs: Civilized Monsters of Blood and Death

Morbius the Living Vampire from Marvel

Morbius the Living Vampire from Marvel

I’ve gone into the Dawn Fangs here before.  Here are the major physical and origin points:

  1. Born from the Great Cataclysm, they are vampires that are still alive.  Pulse, create enough blood to avoid a coma, and fangs are there.
  2. Each one has 3 powers that are ‘Body, Mind, and Aura’.  Makes them very unpredictable.
  3. They do not have to kill when they feed.
  4. While Old World Vampires lose their powers in sunlight, Dawn Fangs are usually unaffected.
  5. You need to behead and destroy the heart to permanently kill a Dawn Fang. Only removing the head puts them into a slumber that can be ended by reattachment.  Only destroying or removing the heart only removes their sunlight immunity.

Now the Dawn Fangs have made a few cameos in Legends of Windemere.  Some in the background with a flash of the fangs.  Then there is the Old World Vampire in Prodigy of Rainbow Tower who pretended to be a Dawn Fang.  Though my favorite is still the gang that thought it would be smart to threaten Nyx’s friends while in an enclosed space with her.  That would The Compass Key and those vampires will not be missed.  Still they tend to stay out of worldly situations unless their civilization is drawn into the fray.  That is what happens in The Mercenary Prince and why the Dawn Fangs become a factor for at least this book.

You see, nobody is really sure if there was a plan behind the creation of the Dawn Fangs since they appear to be an accident.  At first, people believed it was to conquer Windemere like the Hejinn and Baron Kernaghan.  Instead, their progenitor decided that it was smarter to stay in their own city or live in peace among their food source.  The reason is because he noticed that those who try to conquer the world are inevitably met by a constant flow of chosen heroes. The whole mess sounded like a hassle, so the Dawn Fangs have strict rules about behavior with mortals.  Nearly all of these end with execution since the peace is always shaky.  Imagine a lion simply hanging out with a herd of zebra.  The moment he eats one is when everything falls apart.

What happens if a Dawn Fang breaks the rules and threatens the nation with a war?  A special agent named the Dark Mistress is sent to retrieve the criminal.  Dawn Fangs police their own, which is part of their global treaty.  They do understand when one of their kind becomes violent and is killed by mortals.  There’s only retribution when it is a senseless killing and that is typically only the death of the murderers.  The Dark Mistress does this too, but her main job is to handle the big problems.  If she can bring the person back alive then they are put on trial.  If they put up too much of a fight or she’s in a bad mood then she has the authority to execute on the spot.  Honestly, not many would argue with her and even those that would probably won’t get very far.

It’s this aspect of the Dawn Fangs that brings them into The Mercenary Prince and the Dark Mistress does cross paths with Delvin.  I look at the book as an introductory to the vampire world too.  That might be the next big series that I do, so this gives me an idea of what people think of the concept.  I can tweak down the line, but it doesn’t reveal the main protagonist, which could alter things.  Clyde is . . . something else entirely and cloaked in spoilers.  Yes, the progenitor of the Dawn Fangs is named Clyde.  As the Dark Mistress explains, nobody names their child with the expectation that they’ll become a blood-drinking, terrifying monster.

Posted in Legends of Windemere | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Pre-Publishing Thoughts

I Don't Get a Bunch of These

I Don’t Get a Bunch of These

So I’m probably an hour or two away from hitting publish on Legends of Windemere: The Mercenary Prince.  This means it’ll be live by the time I wake up and tomorrow is promo set up day.  This includes the usually sites, emailing the volunteers, attaching the Amazon link to all the guests posts, sending all the guest posts, attaching the Amazon link to all the future posts, and eventually posting on here.  Needless to say I’m already feeling a little worn.

Thinking about it, my stress is coming from the following:

  1. Everyone is in the house and the bad weather will make them stay inside.  So the curious munchkin will be an ever-present hazard.
  2. The weather is turning to sleet and my laptop has already lost the Internet once.  I really don’t want to have my book out there for a day while I can’t even get a blip on the Wifi.  Happened once a while back and I got no sympathy from the house for the panic and plight I was trapped in for a few hours.
  3. WordPress and social media have been very quiet since last week.  Probably the holidays, but I have an unsubstantiated fear that people are leaving the Internet for the real world.  The Matrix was wrong?
  4. Will the book even sell?  Every new volume of Legends of Windemere sells less than the last one.  Happens with a series, but that doesn’t make me feel any more at ease here.  No idea how to counter this.
  5. My legs are killing me from walking around the zoo all day.  I’m also tired, which means I could end up sleeping late.  Figures that’s a risk on the one day where I DO NOT want to be sleeping until noon.

I think #4 has me the most scared for the long term.  I only do tweets and blogging to promote my books.  Other social media sites got me nowhere or seemed too confusing for me to use quickly.  Facebook was a disaster the last time I tried to use it.  So I don’t really have much.  I do thank all the volunteers who will help with the debut promotion.  I actually should set something up in the debut post that will act as pingback to notify me about your posts going live.  With the kid home until next Monday, I won’t be on the computer as much as I usually am after a book debut.

A final note:

Not too late to volunteer for the BOOK IS LIVE! post.

Posted in Uncategorized | 37 Comments

Post Revisited- Welcome to ‘The Pen Is . . .’

This originally went live on April 30th, 2014.  A lot of fun to write.  Think it was one of the earlier ‘Olde Shoppe’ skits.

Yahoo Image Search

Yahoo Image Search

Welcome, good customer, to The Pen Is!  Why do people keep laughing at our name?  It’s part of a great saying and fits what we do here very well.  Do we sell pens?  Of course, but that’s only part of our merchandise.  Yes, they come in different colors and we have various sizes of notebooks.  You think it’s all paper, ink, and words?  There’s a lot more to writing than the physical pieces and that’s what we have to offer.  Yes, we had books on how to write and I’m getting the feeling that you’ll need at least three of those.  Come with me and we’ll give you the starter pack.

First, you’ll need to purchase a reason to be an author.  Trust me when I say ‘because I wanna’ won’t cut it if you get any attention.  What?  Don’t go too far with a parent’s dying wish or something so dramatic unless it’s true.  No, don’t poison a family member to make it real.  Are you going to be a horror or thriller author?  Cookbooks . . . I’m sorry I asked.  I suggest going with the good, old reason of ‘I hope to share my knowledge’ since you’re going for non-fiction.  Fictional cookbooks?  In that case, talk about wanting to bring smiles to the faces of children who will destroy kitchens across the nation.  It doesn’t matter if the recipes are fake because kids will try anything.

Now, you’ve already picked a genre, but is that what you’ll stay in?  If not then you may want to buy a few pen names.  We have a sale right now that’s ‘Buy 4, Get a 5th Surname Free’.  With each pen name, we give you a photo and contact information.  It’s up to you to maintain them and keep everything separate.  For an extra payment, we can give you biographies for each one, but that’s only if you can’t think of anything yourself.  How do we come up with the names?  That’s rather simple.  We interview you and look into your background.  Each name will come from a different aspect of your life and designed to not crossover.  For example, one name might come from your mother’s maiden name and a favorite animal.  The other can stem from your love of Nikola Tesla and Jim Henson.  How did I know about that?  Trade secret that has nothing to do with your Tesla shirt and Muppets wristwatch.

We have some other tools that a new author might find helpful.  A personal favorite is the ‘Anti-Response Unit’.  This is a necklace that you wear when reading a negative review and the device activates when you say ‘one star’, ‘two star’, or ‘troll’.  It remains active for two hours and cannot be taken off until it shuts down.  A scanner reads what you’re looking at and if it notices that you’re going to respond to the negative review, it zaps you with enough voltage to numb your teeth.  This way, you won’t do anything in anger and cause trouble for yourself.  If you want this then you need to fill out the legal forms that relieve us of all liability and give us a doctor’s note that says you have no known heart conditions.  It is also not a guarantee that you won’t cause a fight later on after the two hours because you retain your free will.  Yes, we used to have a device that took care of that, but there was this whole morality issue.  Look, just try to stay out of trouble.  The ‘report’ and ‘flag’ buttons are there for a reason, but make sure it isn’t a real review before you make some waves.

There are other things if you want to browse.  Sure we have some caffeine pills and other items to help you pull off a late night.  We even have an elixir that gives you a jolt of energy and clarity when you get near the end of your book.  Use it only when you’re only the last ten to twenty pages and when you know you won’t be interrupted.  Otherwise, you’ll sputter to a stop at the worst possible moment.  Yes, we have a sucking candy that takes away the pain of editing and makes that stage enjoyable.  They come in a variety of flavors including whiskey, absinthe, matzoh ball soup, and raven.  You’d be surprised how often we’re out of that last one once October hits.

Just remember that we have all you could ever want in ‘The Pen Is . . .’  Again with the childish snickering?

Posted in Olde Shoppe Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Eyeing the Finish Line! Last Day of Kindle Countdown & Nearing the Next Release

First of all, the Kindle Countdown for Legends of Windemere Fantasy Series Bundle #1 is on its last day.  Get the first 3 volumes for $2.99 by clicking on the cover below:

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen 3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

The holidays are over, but the kid’s vacation is still going strong.  This brings a frustrating wrinkle into the upcoming debut.  Legends of Windemere: The Mercenary Prince will be going live this week.  I’m going to be out tomorrow since it’s one of the few good weather days we have on the horizon.  So I plan on hitting publish Monday night and waking up to the book being live.  With any luck, I’ll have all of the promo stuff sent out by noon.  Not easy with the 6-year-old prowling with his new lightsaber, army of superhero Minions, 3 imaginary dogs, an imaginary cat, an imaginary cheetah, and the ever-present blankie.  You might think I can wait for him to go back to school the following Monday, but I can’t.  I set up some promo spots for early January and I don’t want to be the author that bails.  All I need is the sales link to get everything set up.

Now if you volunteered to be part of the promo post tour then expect an email on Tuesday with the HTML file.  If you requested a guest post then you’ll get that in a separate email after I put in the link.  Those will be in Word format and I’ll attach a copy of the cover and my author photo as well.  Those two pictures will be in the promo post though, so you can also reuse them since they’ll be in your media folder.  At least that’s what happens with me.

Waldorf and Statler from Muppets

Waldorf and Statler from Muppets

Small break to say that I’ve no idea why Pandora keeps stopping after one song.  Given that my laptop has been acting strange for months, I’m worried that it’ll die before I get the money for a new one.  Preferably one that doesn’t have Windows 10 because the desktop has that and it should be chucked into a black hole.  Not as bad as Vista, but rather annoying with compatibility at times.  Made the machine a lot slower and it’s fairly new.

Where was I?  Not much else happened besides a bounce house place for Christmas, seeing old friends yesterday, and steadily heading toward the debut.  I’ll need to find out about Crossing Bedlam cover art soon and begin the editing there.  I’m having a lot of trouble carving out writing time with everyone home.  My mom had elbow surgery to get the hardware out from her old injury, so she’s home for a few weeks.  That means everyone is here and space is limited.  My plan was to edit Crossing Bedlam before the break ends, but it’s looking more like I won’t be touching it until Wednesday if even then.

On the plus side, I made a plan for January.  With Delvin getting his story out this week and Lloyd and Cassidy debuting in February, I don’t want to tackle the next Legends of Windemere volume.  So I’ll edit Bedlam, write the next Ichabod, tackle the Raven’s Hold sequel, and begin editing Book 12 before I sink my teeth into the big goal of 2016.  That goal is to write the final 3 books of Legends of Windemere, which won’t be released until 2017.  I’d just like to have them in the bank and then I can figure out what to write next.  There’s that one-shot/epilogue book that could be a big spoiler for the entire series.  So I might have to start in on the Dawn Fang Civil War and wait a year for that one.

The Simpsons

The Simpsons

That’s if I make it that far.  With the wife having trouble finding a job and tension running high around here, there has been the questioning on if it’s time for me to quit and get a ‘real job’.  This would end up being retail, food, or office work.  Sadly, me being out of the workforce for a few years can’t be explained or accepted very easily.  People think I’m dramatic for saying I’d have to quit, but I doubt any of those jobs would give me retweet or blog check breaks.  Writing would be a rarity since I’d get home tired and have to wrangle the kid into bed, which means I wouldn’t get to my laptop until 8:30 PM.  That’s maybe 1.5 or 2 hours to finish off email, blog comments, tweets, etc. and write a chapter section.  Anybody seeing how this simply won’t work as a balancing act?  I’m still making enough money to pay my half of our expenses, but without the wife working, we’re falling back into the hole.

Anyway, I’m not going to do a list since this week is going to be up in the air.  I’ll just end on a Red Band Trailer I’ve watched a few times and I think some people would like.  Red Band means it’s uncensored, so you get the cursing, lewd language, and violence.  Here we go:

Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Day 3 of Legends of Windemere #Kindle Countdown! 3 #Fantasy novels for $2.99!

The title says it all!
LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE Fantasy Series Bundle
$2.99 for Today and Tomorrow!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen 3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

DON’T FORGET!

Mercenary Prince Cover

COMING NEXT WEEK!

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Step into Legends of Windemere with a #Kindle Countdown! #Christmas #fantasy

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen Collage by Chris the Storyreading Ape

Legends of Windemere Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
Collage by Chris the Storyreading Ape

Dive into any of the Windemere books by visiting the author page of Charles E. Yallowitz!

Yahoo Image Search

Yahoo Image Search

Looking to start the adventure cheap?  Then grab the first 3 volumes for 99 cents for today or $2.99 over the weekend!  CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW!

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen 3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

And don’t forget:
LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE: THE MERCENARY PRINCE
is coming next week!

Art by Jason Pedersen

Art by Jason Pedersen

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Scholar Flies

fly

They emerged
Upon the start of all
Born from the corpse
Of a timeless void
Murdered
By the opening of history

Called the Scholar Flies
They form the greatest swarm
Releasing a thunderous hum
As if they are pondering
All the mysteries
The world has yet to see

The Scholar Flies are simple
With crimson carapaces
And hairy legs
Their composite eyes
Twinkle with the sunlight
Or is that raw intelligence?

Gifted with a mind
Composed of all their thoughts
Existing outside time
They never forget
While they eyes record
The events of every era

These flies disperse
Upon their second day
Spreading
Among the many realms
Driven by a primal lust
Implanted by the gods

History unfolds
Before their lidless eyes
The Scholar Flies will watch
Creating a natural library
Of purest thought
To be saved on the final day

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Legends of Windemere #Fantasy Series Bundle #1 for 99 cents! #Christmas @amazon

Give the gift of magic & adventure!
With this deal you can get:
Beginning of a Hero,
Prodigy of Rainbow Tower,
&
Allure of the Gypsies
for 99 cents.

Price goes up to $2.99 on Saturday and Sunday, which is still a good deal for 3 books.  Still 99 cents is so much better.  Just click on the cover below and prepare to dive into a world where adventure is around every corner.

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen 3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen
3D Conversion by Bestt_graphics

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 14 Comments