Happy Easter to everyone who celebrates. Still don’t quite get how crucifixion of Jesus involves bunnies, colored eggs, chocolate, and ham. Then again, Jews eat willingly eat gefilte fish, so I guess religion and culture doesn’t need a reason. Enjoy the holiday.
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Well, I’m still in upstate New York after arriving Thursday afternoon. I’ve only edited one chapter of Darwin & the Beast Collector, but I plan on getting another done today. I wanted to start editing on Thursday, but the trip up had a lot of construction and it was simply grueling. Instead, I stretched my legs with a walk through a park, stopped by the exotic snack place, and grabbed dinner. The rest was kind of a blur of exhaustion and sorting through some mental stuff.
I don’t know if I’m going to get together with friends because the few I talk to had work, kids, and Easter to handle. Figured it was a chance to get some time alone to think, edit, and catch Pokemon when the weather held. Editing and catching were slow going, but my brain is definitely bouncing around like a deranged maniac. I think coming up here causes my mental walls to weaken, so old memories and emotions leak out. Without work or my son to keep my occupied, I start examining my life and where I am now, which doesn’t go smoothly. So much has happened to me and I’ve done so much since I left Oswego, which might be the last place I was living for myself.
Uh, backtracking a bit, I should say that I started the break with my son and celebrating Passover. He wasn’t happy about only having matzah to eat, but we eventually cheated by going to Burger King with my friend. The story behind that is that this is the same friend in high school who convinced me to go to BK to cheat and that nobody would know. We came walking out with our burgers only to find my dad walking out of the bank right across the mall walkway. So, a BK cheat has become a funny tradition if I decide I can’t take matzah any more.
Really isn’t anything majorly exciting that happened since the plan for spring break was solely to relax. Monday is back to work and the final stretch for the end of the school year, which means a lot of work. I’m going to try really hard to fit more editing time into my weekends and maybe a few evenings. I’ll have 6 more chapters to go once I get home from Oswego. Might shoot for more since I don’t have much else to do today and not finding the Pokemon group means I can’t do the event. Can’t tell if I’m wasting my time here or if I’m being productive.
There was an interesting point during the drive where I started noticing a plot issue with the character of Rayne. Nothing that involves the adventure she has with Darwin, but something with her future adventures. I should probably start setting things up in this book even though the truth would be revealed in another series. I don’t really know if that makes sense or how I’m going to make it work. Don’t know if I’ll ever get to writing at the rate I used to either, so this could all be moot. Still, I guess I should have notes down in case somebody can do something with it. It’s fun coming up with this stuff, but it always draws me back to the ‘stalled author’ mentality that lingers in my mind.
Goals of the week:
Haven’t done a scenario post since I tried them out in January. The experiment was okay, but I still don’t know how to work it very well. Some people needed more information while others ignored pieces that were given. I’m going to try again with this week’s topic and make it fairly simple to see how it goes:
You are an adventurer and you begin a relationship with one of of your fellow adventurers. Both of you are on a quest to save the world, so you can’t exactly head off to do the usual dating stuff. Many of your adventures are dangerous too. Battles, monsters, and traps are weekly dangers that you two deal with together. Either of you could die at any moment, but you don’t care because it’s love.
So, how do you nurture the relationship without ignoring your quest? Keep in mind that both of you are aware that the world ending will lead to both of you dying, which pretty much ends the relationship. So, you can’t leave the adventure.
Off to Handle the Weeds
(A happy poem? Guess I have a few in the folder.)
Tiny feet on the run
Rushing down the hall
Mingled with a cackle
Birthed of baby glee
As he runs unattended
Awake before the guards
Who stir behind their door
Closed by tiny hands
To give him a head start
On trouble for the day
Clothes are thrown
To bathe the room
Talking toys turned on
Noise to drown his steps
While he sneaks into a room
Padded toes creeping
Toward the groaning guards
Before a sudden charge
Skidding around the bed
And clambering on high
To attack with laughs and tickles
Danilo Thann and Arilyn Moonblade (Forgotten Realms)
As much as some people may hate romance being added to stories like adventures, there are ways to minimize the interference. Let’s dive right into it.
Hi SE’ers its Robbie with you today and I have a lovely treat for you in the form of an interview with influencer, Sally Cronin. Sally is sharing …
How to write a non-fiction book with Sally Cronin
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This is a post I wrote about parenting and autism back on May 3, 2021. I thought it would be good to trot it back out and even edit stuff a bit with my current knowledge. Enjoy even though it’s pretty long:
I work with autistic and other neurodivergent students who are at various levels of the spectrum. I’m the parent of an autistic child who is high on the spectrum. I’ve taken classes on how to work with these kids and learned from own experiences as a parent. Yet, I can’t stand here and declare myself as someone who can talk at length about autism. Part of it is because I am not autistic, so I do not have the hands-on experience that my son and students do. Also, it’s a spectrum for a reason and that’s because it’s not the same for everyone. When younger, my son responded to a reward system to help him deal with transitions and minimize negative behavior. He has since grown out of that, but still requests rewards for difficult tasks. Others don’t care about such things, so you need to find alternatives. So, I can only talk about what I know, which could be entirely different from what another special needs parent believes.
Truthfully, the biggest tool in a parent’s belt is patience. There will be great days and nightmarish days, but you need to be patient and calm. Not all the time though because you will slip at times. It can be stressful and nearly every parent has a moment where they yell or cry or make a mistake. This can be painful and disheartening because it can be a shock to their system, which may trigger a meltdown. You walk away feeling like you’re a terrible parent, but you’re only human. As long as it is not a constant screaming, you haven’t destroyed the relationship. Thankfully, this frustration is temporary because you eventually calm down and return with a clearer mind. After all, you love your child even with the challenges. At least, that’s what should happen. There are situations where a great mistake occurs and causes lasting trauma.
Many people believe is that those who are autistic can’t feel emotions. I’ve met parents of autistic children who act like they’re working with a heartless robot when that’s not the case. Even someone who is nonverbal has emotions. They can become scared and angry and sad. They can be happy and recognize they are loved even if they don’t understand the emotion. A parent who loses their patience can do lasting damage if they don’t return to show they still love the child. Soft voices, hugs, kisses, or anything that will show you aren’t angry any more, but it depends on the child. Some don’t like physical contact when they are overstimulated. More importantly, you should genuinely apologize for your behavior even though you are the parent. This is essential regardless of if a child understands the words because they will read faces and voice tone. Again, this is from my own experience.
Now, you might be wondering about the image at the top since I’m saying mistakes happen. Well, that statement is true, but there’s a difference between mistakes and being a shitty parent. I’m being kind of blunt, but I’ve seen it happen. First, you have parents of autistic children who deny they have it even after a diagnosis. This results in them forcing the child into situations they can’t handle without accommodations or are beyond the skills that they currently have. They won’t suddenly learn everything they need while under stress, so damage is done to their progress. Sometimes it creates negative behaviors that are incredibly difficult to reduce or eliminate by the time they are older teens or adults. Commonly, those with autism need routine or consistency, so they won’t break away from their comfort zone even if it such a place includes negative behavior. I feel that this is easier to handle when the child is younger because all kids are dependent on their parents early on. So, they won’t feel different from their peers when their behavior is being adjusted, rewarded, or punished even in public.
Let’s get to the punishment part now. By punishment, I mean the removal of something they enjoy. I’ve done this before and it’s a habit I try really hard to break. This is fairly self-explanatory because we’re used to it from long ago. We do something bad and get grounded or having something we love taken away. This makes us not want to make that mistake again. With autism, you’re coming up against a variety of factors that can include impulsivity, inability to connect actions with consequences, and anxiety in regards to transitions. So, they may impulsively do something we perceive as wrong. The parent bans their favorite TV show for a month, but they can’t see this is associated with their actions, especially if their mistake wasn’t TV show related. All they know is they are being punished and their comfort zone has changed to no longer have a relaxing activity, so they are upset. This can be traumatizing and lead to more negative behaviors instead of a reduction. Parents who continue doing this when it clearly increases anxiety become a problem, especially if they refuse to stop in the face of growing issues. It can create some terrible habits as well. For example, a child makes a mistake and goes right into a meltdown before an adult can respond due to fearing punishment. One could call this a trauma reaction.
It’s better and more effective to go with a reward system that is immediate. Stickers, candy, TV time, and anything else that is simple and they love will work. I used to do sticker systems with my son to help him with eating. When he earned enough, he could trade them in for a bigger prize such as a Funko Pop or Lego set. The reason this differs from punishment is because it’s all positive. For example, a child refuses to eat dinner and you respond by taking away their favorite bath toy until they do what they’re told. Even if you get them to eat, it isn’t a strong achievement and can fall apart due to it being a negative creation. Instead, you tell them that they get a sticker of their choice for every meal they eat. Now, failing doesn’t result in them losing something they have already gained. It means they didn’t earn a sticker and can try again the next day. The more times they succeed, the stronger the positive behavior is and the reward system can slowly fade away. Of course, it’s important to explain this to them and be consistent. I was told that you want to have the rewards be solely for that event too. This is why I had candy for my son eating his lunch and stickers for breakfast since the two meals had different behavior issues.
I’ve just kind of ranted here, so I hope I made some good points. Parenting an autistic child is always a challenge that changes as time progresses. You find new methods or the child develops new habits, so you never know what the day will hold. That’s why patience is important as well as accepting that this is how your child is. Not to the point where you don’t try to help them learn and develop coping mechanisms. Acceptance means that you understand that things will difficult and you need to focus on the child that you have instead of the one you wished you had. That sounds cruel, but I’ve met a few parents of autistic children who talk about curing them and gaining the child that they always dreamed of. Hurts my heart there because while these parents are thinking of a child that doesn’t and will never exist, they are ignoring the unique child that they have.
2025 Add on– These days I don’t do many reward systems with my son. He acts like every other teenager with fighting me on homework and waking up in the morning. The big thing with his is that he has trouble understanding social situations and various ways of speaking. Many people with autism will take things literally and he’s like that. So, wordplay and idioms confuse him. I just have to be careful how I explain things and still be patient. All that being said, he does really well in school and has friends that he tries to interact with. His fixations still get the best of him when he’s not focused on anything, so he’ll go for Yugioh and Pokemon instead of breakfast or homework. This is where reward systems still come into play. If he does what he’s supposed to do in the morning, he gets to play Pokemon Go on the way into school. If he does his homework correctly and quick enough, we can go out for some PoGo in the park or games on the Switch. This doesn’t feel any different than with anyone though. We all have rewards that we require for doing various tasks. I mean, a salary and benefits are pretty much a reward for working. If an employer doesn’t give us that, we’ll go off and find them somewhere else.
I’ve run into this opinion before:
“Romance does not belong in any genres other than romance.”
This goes double for when it’s added to an adventure-based fantasy. Some people hate if there’s even a hint at anything more than characters simply trying to get laid. Sex is fine, but no emotional attachment that can lead to settling down. People feel that it ruins the story and draws it to the romance genre. So, they will give up soon after it’s clear that two main characters are developing ‘the feels’ for each other.
Now, I do it get because people typically pick up an action-adventure book to see fights, explosions, etc. Romance is softer and takes previous page/screen time away from what was marketed. It can be mentioned in passing or the lover isn’t part of the action, but it really sours some of the audience. I don’t want to say it’s always males who hate this since I’ve run into females who agree. They gave the author attention because they expected to be thrilled with daring-dos. Not reading about two adventurers acting like lovesick teens and playing the ‘will they-won’t they’ game. So, it can come off as a bait-and-switch.
Unfortunately, romance is one of the most common and relatable character-growth subplots out there. It’s something everyone has either experienced or wishes to experience. People who have had no luck in love may rail against the addition, but they still understand and connect to it on some level. This also works off the common desire to settle down, which adventurers have a chance to do when a love interest has been introduced. Like people in the real world, they can create a life after all of their toiling and suffering.
I wonder if another reason people hate romance being included is because it can be far too relatable. A person who knows the pain of a broken heart or losing a lover can have some fear of that happening in the story. Then, the surviving hero has to continue going on, which can lead to the rest of the adventure having a sad and depressing tone. If they aren’t affected by the loss then it comes off as wasting time, so a reader will expect a rough reaction. It doesn’t help that killing off a lover has been a story trope since the early days of fiction. So, people kind of expect it in some genres when a romance is started, especially in an action-based story.
Another potential issue is that the author may feel obligated to routinely put in ‘couple’ stuff like kissing, flirting, arguing, and talking about non-adventure stuff. This can stem from a worry that they will forget about the romance and people will see it as a plot threat that went nowhere. It might not be easy to smoothly fit this in once the action starts, but some authors try this. Other times, the characters simply helping each other in battle can cause a reader to think the romance is corrupting things. So, you have some hyperattention to the subplot by both parties instead of letting it sit organically beneath the surface.
Personally, I do like adding romantic subplots, but they aren’t necessary for every character. They help in long series where you have a cast of characters instead of a solitary hero. It feels natural that those working together in stressful situations may gain feelings for each other. The adrenaline could make it fake, so you can set up for failure and then play with the group dynamic. I do have misgivings about this though because such things make stories emotionally messy and you have to be careful in getting everything back on track. Still, people fall in love all the time, so it’s not surprising when it happens even in an adventure story. The romance can give the characters a better reason to fight than victory too because now they have a future.
So, what do other people think about romance being added to an adventure story?
Hi SEers! Denise here to talk about that spark that started me writing. This is a rework of my third post, and one I needed to revisit. Although I …
WHAT IS YOUR WRITING SPARK?
It’s Passover time, which means no bread. That eliminates pizza, burgers, pasta, bagels, and so much more. I never lose weight during this either because I binge on matzah. It isn’t filling and causes stomach issues if you overindulge. Well, this holiday does touch on remembering the suffering of our ancestors. Guess my pizza-loving carcass is feeling that one.
Narrowly dodged this situation
Legends of Windemere 