Dudley’s Desk Depot: Free Pen with Every Purchase (Wet Ink Not Guaranteed)

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Welcome and what do you want?  A desk?  Sure, we have those as you can tell by the name up there.  I’m not Dudley.  My name is Dale, but I didn’t want people making dancer or chipmunk jokes.  So, do you want me to make you a desk or not?  Yeah, I’m the craftsman too.  I don’t wear this sawdust for my health . . . Sorry about the coughing.  Might want to step around that pulpy blob.

Lets get into the overall style.  Catch this book and thumb through while I tell you about our best sellers.  We have flat tops, which are simple and easy.  Roll tops are popular, but a paint to work with when I’m not in the mood.  Drawers all over the place if you need to stash a lot of supplies.  Oh, I can add hidden compartments to anything, but you need to tell me before I start the creative process.  Where was I?  School desks if you’re into the utterly simple or nostalgia.  Moving desks that uses wheels or can be folded up to be carried off.  I could do a lap desk, but those are boring and I hate making cushions for the bottom.  Really big desks are a favorite, but I add a fee for any back pain that I endure from moving it around.  Why would I get an assistant?  That’s a person and I don’t have the patience for such things unless they’re paying me.  Roll top?  Sure, but it’ll take a month or two.

Tapered legs . . . eh . . . Drawers . . . obviously . . . Wood type?  Guess we should go over that part.  Can’t make a desk without materials.  If you came to me then you don’t want plastic or metal or that fake stuff you find in stores.  You want a solid wood desk because you know quality.  My personal favorite is cherry wood because I like the color and refuse to do the staining.  Want to ruin perfection then you have to do it yourself.  Oak, maple, and ash are classics, which you can’t go wrong with.  We have a list of stains you can choose from there.  The best is cherry, of course.  I can also make a desk out of pine, but that comes with a smell.  What smell?  Rotten eggs and low tide.  What do you think it smells like?  Pine . . . Yeah, I can leave the bark along the edging like in the picture.  I did that long ago because I wanted to take a nap.  Good choice.

Now, the roll top is basic.  You need it to be foldable and go into the top section.  There isn’t much variety that I’m willing to put on that.  Smooth arches, squared, or reverse tapered are the fanciest.  The lock will go down here and only the front drawers will be open.  Sure, I can put a hole in that area for a laptop wire.  Why don’t I chop the legs off too?  If you have a desktop computer then you don’t want a roll top.  A laptop will be carried around anyway.  You can put it on the desk and plug it in once you sit down to do whatever you have to do.  Of course, I’m telling you how to do your job since you seem intent on telling me how to do mine.  Just trust me on this or we’re going to be here all day.

Now we have handles for the drawers . . . Diamond studs?  These are the things you grab and pull.  Diamonds will cut your skin or have to be constantly cleaned because you leave oil on them.  Just go with either wood or metal.  Sure, make them shaped like skulls or swords or whatever.  I’m not the one using it.  Now, anything else that you need on this desk?  No?  Good . . . Sign the contract and get out of my way until I’m done.  Thank you for your patronage.

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Immortal Wars: Light, Blood, & Tears Part 5

(Disclaimer: A warning to those who continue.  This is a sequel to a previous story.  Both of these were written in the mid-1990’s.  While the first one was slightly edited and vanity press published, this one has not been touched in over 20 years.  I figure I should do something with it and people may get a laugh or fright from how I used to be.  Every author comes from somewhere, so this is part of my origin.  To that end, I am deeply sorry for whatever nightmares I will inflict on the literary world and the American English language.  Enjoy?)

PREVIOUS ENTRY CLICK HERE

“It’s about time you showed up!” shouts Hydrana from the arena.  As Fate walks into the game room, he places his medallion on the bar.

“How about a practice bout?  You and me against the new drone warriors.  No powers and you can only use weapons if the robots drop them,” suggests Fate as he programs the arena’s computer system.  The door locks as soon as they take six steps into the training area.

“Okay.  After that, I talk and you listen.”

“Deal.”

A loud buzzer goes off and several robots jump through holes in the ceiling, in the floor, and in the walls.  They all have heavy gattling guns on their shoulders and swords instead of hands.  Occasionally, one of them spits out deadly razor blades with incredible accuracy.  As soon as the machines hit the ground, the guardians attack the training drones at full force.

“You have to give Infinity credit.  The new models look a lot more dangerous than the originals.  But they still break very easily.  They also seem to be a lot slower than the old ones,” announces Fate as he cleanly chops off a robot’s head with a karate chop.  Before that one hits the ground, the blond-haired boy flipkicks another of his attackers.  It clumsily topples backwards and gets itself impaled on a nearby robot’s sword.  When the guardian throws a third robot into the two of them, all three blow up in a small, yet very loud, explosion.

“Not bad, Eddie.  But this move is a whole lot better,” Hydrana laughs before spinning on one foot and destroying five robots with her other outstretched leg.  Once she stops spinning, a steel longsword goes smoothly through the redhead’s left shoulder from behind.  Instead of screaming in pain, like she would have done a year ago, she pushes off the floor with her powerful legs.  Both of the fighters slam into the wall, but only the robot falls apart.

“I don’t mean to ruin your fun, but you just lost your arm.”  The Mars guardian blocks two bullets with his right leg before giving a double-fist punching to one of the metal warriors.  When one of the larger ones grabs him by the arms and turns him upside-down, Fate kicks it with his heels repeatedly before he is dropped on his head.  This bigger robot has two rocket launchers on its shoulders instead of guns.  It fires both of its rockets at the guardian, but Fate jumps over one of the missiles and catches the other like it was a baseball.  He throws it back at the towering drone and the shot takes the robot’s head off.

“Here it is,” announces the redhead when she picks up her severed arm, which isn’t bleeding.  Two robots charge at her and she just smiles at them like a very hungry cat.  Once they get close enough to her, the Neptune guardian starts smashing them into circuits with her unattached arm.

“I said no weapons unless a robot drops one.  That includes any of your severed limbs.  Besides, it’s gross.”  The last of the drones jumps between them and attempts to put a large razor deep into the Mars guardian’s back.  But its head is crushed into powder when both guardians’ spin kicks it’s steel skull as hard as they can.

“Do you know that you have a razor blade stuck in your foot?” whispers Hydrana as she watches her arm start to grow back

“It hurts a lot more coming out of my heel than it did going in.  How long until your arm grows back?”

“Not long.  My best time is four minutes for a severed limb, but that’s if I force the healing.  Of course, this is a flesh wound compared to what that Palidor did to me last week.  Now, that was painful to the extreme.”

“I actually enjoyed twenty-four hours of you being entirely silent.  It was peaceful around here.”

“Of course, I was silent!  My head was missing!”

“At least it didn’t cut off anything that you used on a daily basis.  But it seems that a lot of problems have turned up over the past month.  Your head getting cut off and me getting killed are two good examples.  I think we’re getting sloppy, but I’ll talk to everyone about that later.  We can still work very efficiently if we have to.  Now, what did you want to tell me?”

“All of us have noticed that you’ve been putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on yourself.  Everyone, including me, is worried that sooner or later you’ll burn yourself out or become suicidal,” mentions Hydrana.

Fate picks up a color changing drink and some big, green slices of fruit before saying, “Have you been talking to SEAS about me?”

“No.  Why?”

“He told me to spend some quiet, relaxing time with Kelly.  So after this little meeting, I’ll be very busy doing absolutely nothing.  It might even help me regain some of my humanity, which I’ve been told I’m starting to lose.”

“That’s good for now.  But I have a long term answer to your problems.”

“I’m afraid to ask, but I guess I have no choice.  What’s your big idea?”

“A second-in-command.  Someone who is able to do some of your work and take a majority of the pressure off of your shoulders.  It will give you a lot more time to spend with the lonely Miracle.  When she said that she had missed you, it wasn’t only when you were dead in the comet.  You’ve ignored her for a long time and that is not helping you further your relationship.”

“Usually, I would ignore that statement, but you’re right this time.  Like I said before, a lot of great events seem to be happening lately.  But Kelly is the reason I’m going to take the next week off.  SEAS will be left in charge.”

“Hold it.  You’re dumb enough to put a machine in charge of us.  Listen to me, Eddie.  Everyone is with me on the idea of you having a second-in-command.  Even SEAS agrees with me.  Why not trust me for just this week?”

“You?  I knew there had to be some kind of selfish reason behind this idea.  And I thought you had changed over the past couple of months.”

“Why does everybody think that I’m nothing more than a spoiled brat?  In fact, I made up that whole bratty illusion because that was how my entire family wanted me to act!  So don’t blame me!  Blame them!” shouts the hazel-eyed immortal in a half-angry voice.

“Calm down.  Why do you think you should become my co-leader?”

“I’m a great fighter and I’m brave.  I also tend to keep a level head in battle.  No one on this base can fix or refit the space skimmers better than me.  Are those reasons good enough for you?”

“Bravery and incredible skill in combat are important to a planet guardian.  But they do not make a leader.  Draveon has those qualities and he’s nothing more than an oversized lackey for Adriana.  As for your cool under pressure behavior and your mechanical expertise, those can be useful no matter what rank you hold.  Of course, the way you handle responsibility goes against your case.”

“What are you talking about?  I am very responsible.  Ask anybody.  Except my ninth grade theater teacher.  I kept forgetting to memorize my lines and was always hitting on all of the cute guys.”

“This is not a joking matter.  The others on this base would probably agree that you show yourself to be very responsible.  But what if I ask your parents about your behavior?” whispers Fate.  The only reaction is total silence and an emotionless face replaces Hydrana’s once confident smile.

She finally gets herself under control before growling, “You have no right to go anywhere near that area, Fate.”

“Maybe not, but it has to be said.  When the rest of us went to tell our families about us being guardians, you went to a shopping mall.  Your parents don’t even know what has happened to you.  That was really immature behavior on your part.”

Suddenly, a geyser of boiling water smashes Fate into the ceiling and lets him drop onto a metal table.  Hydrana tries to punch him, but gets hurled over the distant bar by the blond guardian.  When Fate jumps onto the glass-covered bar, he sees the other guardian cowering in a corner and crying her heart out.

“You wouldn’t understand.  My parents never allowed me to do anything besides shop, party, and lounge around the mansion.  The only time I could play games was when they went away on their yearly three-month vacation and left me alone with the maids and butlers.  Unlike the rest of you, I was given everything.  But I hated it.  My parents gave me whatever I wanted, except their love.  My relationship with my parents is nothing more than a dog and its owners.  Even worse than that.  Unlike me, the dog gets love from its owner.  That was why I couldn’t, and still can’t, face them.  Well, that and the other thing that happened with my father.  But a sweet guy like you doesn’t need to know about those kinds of things.  Don’t you see that being a planet guardian was my only way to escape them?  Now that I’m up here, my parents are unable to hurt and control me anymore,” Hydrana cries between hefty sobs.  She lets Fate help her up and he brings her quietly to her room.

Before Hydrana goes into her aquarium filled room, Fate says, “Look.  I’ll let you be second-in-command on one condition.  You have to find some way to prove to me that you can act responsible.  I’d really like to see you confront your parents or do some kind of selfless act.”

“But . . .” she starts to say.

“No excuses.  I’m sorry for you, Hydrana.  I truly am.  But you have to be able to deal with your current problems before I can give you anymore.  It’s the best for the entire group and us.  Understand?”

“Yeah.  Can I tell you something, Eddie?  You’re a good friend that I never wanted.”

“I know.  Goodnight, Delila.”

If Fate listened through Hydrana’s door for a few more seconds, he would have heard her mumble, “Delila Mandervale III.  She’s dead, Mars guardian.  But it wasn’t as if she was ever alive to begin with.”

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Side Jobs: Because Being a Hero Doesn’t Always Pay the Bills

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I was thinking about this as a friend explained an RPG he had been playing.  He brought up various skills of his character that weren’t really adventuring ones.  They helped there, but he did it mostly to get new gear and money.  We’re talking blacksmithing, potion making, gardening, fishing, and other things that I don’t really remember.  He sent a lot of info and it got a little garbled.  Still, this got me thinking about what heroes will do besides their adventure.

First, you have to keep in mind that we can’t really go into details here.  People don’t want to see your hero repairing shoes for multiple chapters in order to make enough money to continue traveling.  That’s boring.  Yet, it does get strange when they are never in need of supplies and funds.  In Legends of Windemere, I didn’t really explain this because there were hints.  Sari had a stealing thing and could entertain with dancing while the others were occasionally seen helping around a city.  Maybe I should have done more, but nobody ever questioned the money issue.  This could just be a nitpick for this adventure since a job would detract from the plot.  War of Nytefall had a better sense of it since Mab was a thief and Chastity ran a business.  Yet, nobody ever became concerned that money kept showing up when they needed it.

The truth is that this is really window dressing.  Sure, you can put a real world skill on your heroes.  This opens up a lot of doors for them to make money, but readers won’t be interested in this.  You can use this as a way to show what the characters will do once they’re done or reveal part of their previous life.  Readers do get curious about what the dreams and aspirations are for a character.  A declaration with no proof of it being possible can be weak, so experience in the desired field can help.  For example, the orc warrior knowing how to finger-sized glass sculptures is a quirk that is worth showing.  It isn’t worth spending chapters on though, so keep it as an occasional thing.  This can be a sign that he wants to leave battle behind and create things that are delicate.  Perhaps a desire to live a life of tenderness and being gentle after fighting for so long.

These side jobs can help in connecting with readers and other characters too.  Everyone can relate to the more mundane skills even if it’s not one they specifically know.  It shows that the time and effort has been put into learning something fairly common.  We all do that at some point in our life.  It’s called school.  Of course, we don’t really see the training unless that’s where they start.  If a hero is called to action from a butcher shop, we can safely assume he or she knows how to cut up some steaks.  In fact, you could have it that they use this skill after fighting a monster that they happen to know is edible.  You don’t have to show this beyond them talking about making money from it.  I’d go as far as to say that giving a skill set that allows heroes to utilize defeated creatures can be a safe explanation for a steady cash flow.  Gives more a reason for them to be in those types of battles too.

You might be wondering if there’s a point to even considering this.  There could be no point to this at all because it’s an extra.  I look at side jobs as an added dimension to a character that shouldn’t be focused on for too long.  Point it out, utilize it if possible, and then go back to the real story.  Others may want to make it more of an obsession of a hero who doesn’t want to be on the adventure.  More may think it shouldn’t be touched on at all because it doesn’t relate to the adventure.  It’s another one of those author choices that can never be right or wrong as long as the choice works.

So, what do you think of side jobs for heroes?

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Expansion Pack: The Return of Comedy

Hi gang. Craig here again with more comedy items you can plot out ahead of time. The last post was pretty popular, so why not a sequel. The previous …

Expansion Pack: The Return of Comedy

Some good examples of effective gags in fiction.

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Music of Legends of Windemere: The Spirit Well

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

Running out of ways to introduce these posts.  Today we have Legends of Windemere: The Spirit Well.  This ended a big section of the overall story because it’s the last power center/temple that the heroes had to visit.  It revealed a lot about Dariana, who stayed in the background for the most part.  I spent a long time wondering what the surprise about her past would be.  Originally, it was going to be that she was the main villain’s daughter, but I sprung that immediately for tension.  So, I went another way and showed how tortured she is.  These songs connect to what she wants and how she is.

This sound is very eerie and somber at times, which fit with the ‘what Dariana wants’ part of the scenario.  She’s an immortal character who has been trapped in a cycle due to the prophecy, so a part of her wants peace and an end to it.  Serenity is a goal that she can’t always believe is a possibility.  The spookiness definitely helps here because of the final act’s location.

This song always made me think of death.  Also, protecting people from the afterlife.  I could be wrong on my interpretation though.  Both of these aspects fit what Dariana is going through.  There’s a lot about death, ghosts, afterlife, and protecting others in this story.  I’d say this song shows the side of Dariana that has hope that she can be more than a pawn of prophecy too.

And we’re back to sad and depressed.  It took me a while to think of this song in regards to Dariana.  I can see her playing this song all the time and making it her anthem.  Unlike Yola, the madness here is more lowkey and internal than the kind that everybody can see.  It isn’t until this book that the other heroes learn about the level of pain and sadness that Dariana is carrying.

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Back to the Future of Gaming

This is a guest post by Anastasios Papadopoulos, a full-stack developer with a passion for writing. Back to the Future of Gaming “Video games are …

Back to the Future of Gaming
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A Fictional World History: Do You Need It?

It’s not always clear if you need to create a world history, especially when you’re doing fantasy.  Sure, you may think it’s necessary because that’s what all of the big names have done.  We know so much about Middle Earth, Oz, Narnia, etc. in regards to what happened prior to the adventures.  Some events get their own books while others are simply told.  It really makes it appear as if a thorough world history is needed to even attempt the genre.  Though, is it really?

The truth is that it depends on your story.  I’d love to say that it couldn’t hurt, but there’s the chance that it can.  If your story focuses entirely on a current event that has no attachment to the world’s history then you shouldn’t be dredging up the past.  You need enough to establish that this world has existed for longer than the story is going on, but diving into the details can distract from the main attraction.  Imagine riding a roller coaster and it stops every few feet to show you a video of how the thing was built or the history behind such rides.  You wouldn’t have fun, especially when it freezes as it attempts to make a loop and your stuck upside down.  That’s simply not safe.

In terms of adding history to story, I would say you have 3 choices:

  1. Low–  As stated, your story deals with the now and history isn’t a focus.  You sprinkle a little in for regions or anything that may need more of an explanation.  This could include monsters, magic, famous names, and anything else that doesn’t exist in our reality.  It can be done through conversation or exposition, but it will be quick enough to not slow things down.  Readers can pay attention to the past events being mentioned or not without losing anything.
  2. Medium–  Your story does have a connection to history at some level.  Characters will talk about past events and the exposition will reveal such things.  Perhaps a few info dumps when you have no other choice, but you manage to spread everything out as the action progresses.  It’s more about general information instead of the details of the past, which aren’t needed.  Readers are clearly aware of the past of this world and how it connects to the present.
  3. High–  The current adventure is basically a continuation of the past, which will be thoroughly explored and uncovered by the heroes.  You need to create a lot here because the details are necessary to form the full picture.  There is a risk of overburdening the book with information since you can get too focused on the history than the current events.  This can cause the book to bloat to a size you didn’t foresee, but that isn’t always a bad thing.  As long as the history is shown to be essential, readers will listen.

Of course, that’s just a simple overview because things change depending on the story and author.  There is another tactic where an author creates a vast history for their world, but doesn’t use all of it.  Many times, the history of a fantasy world is there to guide the author more than the reader.  You get a sense of where you are coming from and add depth in your own mind.  Monster races act a specific way because of their history even though you don’t have to mention it.  The landscape looks strange due to an ancient war, but the heroes are only passing through.  These examples show how a history helps with world-building even if it’s never revealed to the readers.  Maybe down the road, you can create a book that explains all of this if you wish, but it isn’t necessary.  It does hurt though since it means you’re crafting things that you can’t really share.

For myself, I have a lot of notes on Windemere history.  Some will be turned into books while others will be left alone for my own knowledge.  I used to add everything I could think of into my books, which made them clunky.  That’s why I’ve become more aware of using what is important.  I can slip in a fun story from time to time, which gives Windemere more charm.  That depends on the scene and character.  I couldn’t do it much with the Dawn Fangs in War of Nytefall since they’re immortal, but I used the storytelling tactic a bunch with Fritz Warrenberg in Legends of Windemere.  It can help to have a character who loves to talk and teach because this gives you a way to reveal history in a more natural form.  Yet, it doesn’t become necessary since that comes off a bit like a tour guide, which doesn’t work in every situation.

So, what do you think of adding history to your world?  I know I talked about fantasy, but it can be done in other genres as well.  What do you do in your genre?

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Short Stories

Hi SEers! Denise here with a post about something I’ve been enjoying lately, short stories. When I get an idea in the middle of the night or the …

Short Stories
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Super Bowl Sunday . . . Football Meme Time!

First, I do mean American Football.  I know I need to clarify that.  Also, it was hard to find anything funny that was very specific and required knowledge of NFL events.  Still, my family watches the game and usually has a party.  Not doing a party this year, which is a first in my lifetime.  Just a small family gathering with the game on.  Since I won’t be on the computer too much, I figure I’d give people some laughs.  Be back next Sunday for . . . something else!  All pictures found by a Yahoo Image Search.

This seems believable sometimes

Had to take one shot at the Cowboys

Memories of childhood

This can go for a lot of people

I’m sure most of my audience falls into this category

This category too

Took so much effort to stay awake on this one

As a NY Giants fan, this is totally true.

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A Week of Snow, Shoveling, and School

This was a wild week.  Work was rather tame in a feast or famine type of energy.  It would be slow one period and then explode the next.  Almost like I was in stop-and-go traffic, which can get exhausting after 3 days.  Of course, I was balancing some other personal stuff too because Winter Break is looming.  Setting things up for that is kind of a headache due to bad timing.  Thankfully, I had more downtime than expected.

Starting last Sunday, we had a blizzard or snowstorm.  It’s hard to really define it because it would be considered flurries in Maine while the end of the world in Florida.  For my area, it was rough because we got about a foot of snow.  It meant no school for two days while the storm ended and roads were cleared.  My street wasn’t cleared that much, so it’s still a one lane road with nowhere to go if somebody is coming from the opposite direction.  Hope it melts more before we get hit again tomorrow.  I have to drive through that for a bit too, which is going to be  major pain in the butt.  Really hoping it’s at least stopped coming down by that point, but the roads are going to be the issue.  Fingers crossed for all of that working out.

I managed to get more of Do I Need to Use a Dragon? done and that leaves me at 12 sections.  Might even get one done today and that leaves me 11 to finish by the end of Winter Break.  It won’t be easy since I have a few outings and get my son for half of it, but I’m determined.  Might lose a weekend to getting my second Covid vaccine shot too, which could knock me out for a day.  Although, I might be crazy enough to attempt writing one section throughout the whole day as long as I can move and think clearly.  Benefit of having detailed notes.

Actually, I could even finish it by the end of next weekend if I maintain my energy throughout the day.  It sounds like I’m impatient, but I always get excited when I see the end of a project.  Part of it is wanting to put another author feather in my cap, but this time I want to get into a few other projects.  Need to outline the next series and a few juicy future ones are bouncing around my school.  I might not start writing another book until the summer at this rate, which is good.  I’ve got the rest of War of Nytefall to edit and publish at some point.  Need to write that blurb too.  Always fun and frustrating.  Trying to decide on if I want to get some beta readers for Do I Need to Use a Dragon? too since it’s a project filled with doubt.  I could become difficult if someone tries to tell me to junk sections or rewrite entire sections.  It’s tough because it’s all about opinions on writing as well, which is the point.  At least I have a week to figure it out.

In the realm of parenting, I got to spend a lot of time with my son.  We started watching a movie series in preparation of the next installment.  He made it through ‘Godzilla 2014’ and ‘Kong: Skull Island’.  That second one was a big test because it was a lot more action-packed and violent than he’s used to.  It was a parental discussion on if it was the right time for it too.  He will have to face these kinds of movies when getting together with friends in the future, so giving him a controlled test works out.  He enjoyed it and I was able to warn about when he needed to close his eyes.  So, we’ll try to watch ‘King of Monsters’ over the break and then we’re ready for ‘Godzilla vs Kong’.  I’ll have to see it first, of course, but it also means we can watch the older ones too.

For myself, I finished watching ‘The IT Crowd’, which is a British comedy that I’d heard good things about.  Definitely funny, but I think I missed some of the humor in places.  I may have gone in with higher expectations too.  Still, it was enjoyable and a nice way to relax at the end of a day.  After that, I began watching ‘Demon Slayer’, which is an anime about demon slaying.  I know.  I was surprised too.  It’s another that I heard great things about.  It’s fun.  Keeps my interest and doesn’t skimp on the action.  I should be finishing that this weekend.  Not sure what to watch after that.  Been circling ‘Black Clover’ for a long time, but I might save that for the summer.

Next week isn’t going to be heavy in the planning.  It’s the one before break starts, so it can turn crazy at any moment.  There’s a few meetings and gatherings that I’ve got on the schedule too.  Writing will be filled in around those events.  If I start running really low on time then I might do some April blog posts.  I finished March, which was all about War of Nytefall: Savagery.  Really hope it debuts at that point.  If anybody has any post topic suggestions then feel free to suggest.  I know I say this all the time and it never seems to get much, but I might as well keep trying.

Goals of the week?

  1. Work
  2. Meetings
  3. Relaxing with friends
  4. Do I Need to Use a Dragon? progress
  5. 2nd Covid shot next weekend
  6. Deal with snow
  7. Choose another show to watch
  8. Puzzle time
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