Goal Post: Inches Crawled

The title pretty much says it all.  Since the last post, I only managed to type in one chapter of edits for Darwin & the Beast Collector.  I was hoping for more, but last Sunday was busier than expected.  Well, I slept in later than I planned and several errands turned up between Pokemon Go outings instead of me getting to return home to edit.  By the time I got back, I was exhausted and my feet were hurting too much for me to focus on typing anything in.  Although, I did have a plan to get one more chapter typed in before this weekend . . .

Let’s just say this week started off physically and emotionally brutal then decided to keep sliding into the abyss.  Not a single day where there wasn’t some drama, which resulted in me dragging myself to bed early.  I can’t talk about any of this in public because it involves confidential stuff.  The things that don’t fall into that category are subjects I can’t publicly discuss for now.  Emotions ran high a lot in various arenas, which wasn’t made better by the increasing temperature.  I only had one good night’s sleep thanks to getting to talk to a friend for a while beforehand instead of anxiety spiraling.

Outside of editing and surviving in general, I tried to tinker with ‘Phi Beta Files’ a few mornings.  I did manage to create the supporting cast for one of the short story arcs in Book 3.  It felt good to do that even though doubts kept slipping into my mind.  I was going to do the set for the last story arc in that book, but my old baby name book isn’t drawing my attention these days.  Wondering if I’ve drained it of what I need, so I should buy a new one.  Not an expense I should concern myself with at this time since I will probably be writing a new book before the end of August.  I really need to keep up with the notebook work, which might be what I do when I take a trip with my son.  Told him we would take time for him to draw and me to write since we aren’t making a detailed itinerary.  I really want to get ahead in ‘Phi Beta Files’ this year.

Haven’t touched that thief idea again aside from running through character concepts and wondering how to sort them.  A part of my mind keeps pointing out that there was the ‘Oceans 11’ movies where they had a large main cast.  Does it seem like such things work better for movies than books?  I was only going up to 9, which might be less if I switch a few out of this series.  Not sold on the divorced couple who are forced to work together being in the guild.  They might go to a cursed monster hunter series where their curse is that they can’t get away from each other.

This weekend isn’t going to see any progress since my son’s birthday is coming up.  So, today is a small party with his friends and then a family dinner.  We’re going to enjoy a Pokemon Go event between the two.  Tomorrow is in the air with only pizza and a movie for lunch being locked in.  It’s unclear how bad the weather will be, so we don’t know if we can go out or not.  Come to think of it, the predicted rain is either missing us, showing up at different times than stated, or not being anywhere near as bad.  I know meteorology is all about predictions, but it feels like my weather app is doing a mediocre job with the rain warnings for the last few months.

That’s really it for what’s coming up.  I think I can get some editing done on Wednesday or Thursday, but I won’t hold my breath.  Next weekend will definitely be better, especially since I have to bring my car in for usual maintenance.  With 4 more chapters to go, I really want to finish before the summer school session is over.  Maybe I’ll get really lucky and get them all done this week since I just realized I have some time on Monday.  Then . . . I will do notebook work until my week with my son is over and then . . . I will enjoy a big Pokemon Go event and then . . . Fine, I’ll start writing Darwin & the Joy Path like I’ve been saying.  Friggin’ terrified of that act no matter how much I say it’ll be like getting back on a stationary bike.

Goals of the week?

  1. Birthday time with my son.
  2. Type in more chapter edits of Darwin & the Beast Collector.
  3. Tinker with ‘Phi Beta Files’.
  4. Pokemon Go when weather and energy permits.
  5. Survive drama and stress.
  6. Make sure Lego pre-order is still locked in.
  7. Watch more of ‘The Sandman’ on Netflix.
  8. Work on puzzle to clear table for Lego.
  9. Complete several October blog posts about ghosts.
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Revisit- The Critic: Ally and Nemesis of the Artist

This was first posted on February 6, 2013 and it’s pretty clear.  A critic can be seen as helpful and harmful.  I think my opinion has changes slightly in that I’m much more cautious about listening.  This is more with many modern critics going straight for tearing an author down and finding nothing good.  I would listen more to those who try to help you improve than those that seem more interested in making you quit.

First, I’m going to be clear that I have no problem with critics. They serve an important purpose and are really helpful.  I’m inspired to work hard because of the fact that there are people out there whose job it is to analyze my work. Without critics, an artist might be tempted to stagnate and refuse to evolve.  The words of a critic can help an artist grow as long as they develop the thick skin to take it.

So, this post isn’t to declare war on critics, but to give some advice from personal experience with critics.  Though, I might let the defensive claws out from time to time.

Early on, I had thin skin for criticism, but the worst part was that I also had a skewed concept of what a critic was. I thought every person who criticized my writing knew my style and path better than me. It was a really bad attempt to make everyone happy and it resulted in a series of mistakes.  I became confused with my own writing, my characters didn’t feel right, and my style steadily became a horrific mess of suggestions that buried my natural tendencies.  It was only last year that I managed to clean up everything and get back to the style that I was comfortable with.  All of this is on my head.

One of the ways to get an aspiring writer used to criticism is the round table or class discussion.  This is when everyone in the group or class reads an author’s submitted work between sessions.  At the next session, the class spends 15-20 minutes discussing the work while the writer silently sits there.  You’re not included in the debate and you get no real chance at rebuttal.  Trust me when I say that you get in a lot of trouble if you try to get into the debate.  This is a form of peer review, which I believe is designed to toughen your skin.  Honestly, I still don’t like this method of criticism.  It’s multiple voices at once instead of a solitary critic, so there is arguing over various points.  I saw this method fall into chaos many times and a lot of writers simply shrugged the entire event off.  Again, I understand the method, but it isn’t that direct and focused.  I remember talking to a few classmates after their time in the hot seat and they were annoyed that the class focused on some trivial section or grammar, but never mentioned anything about how the story or characters were.  It can be frustrating if you think the entire experience was a waste because you didn’t learn anything other than people are jerks.  Still, the benefit is that you get a taste of being criticized and unable to defend yourself, which can make you a tougher person.

My advice is to listen to a critic, but don’t always follow their suggestions.  They are masters at their trade, not masters of your story and characters.  A good example of this is one criticism I got years ago for Beginning of a Hero.  The part that stood out in the review was “it would be a guilty pleasure if the book had more teenage angst”.  This is good advice to help a blossoming writer focus his book.  Unfortunately, this writer didn’t want to go in that direction and angst didn’t really fit any of the characters.  Angst shows up in later books, which a critic wouldn’t know.  They live in the now while the writer lives in the past, present, and future.  So, this put me in a difficult spot where I wanted to respect the critic’s opinion, but I always didn’t want to go in the wrong direction with my characters.  I remembered my teenage angst and it wasn’t something I wanted to put my characters through simply to appease someone.  It’s a difficult decision when you are given advice by an expert, but you feel strongly against using it.  My suggestion is to follow your gut on characters and plot, but grammar and spelling should be listened to with a more open mind.

To be fair, I will tell a brief story of a time a critic helped me.  I had published Beginning of a Hero and a few people had read it.  A problem was brought to my attention.  Stiletto was introduced, showed up at the school, and . . . vanished into the stables never to be seen again until near the end.  The critic mentioned that it was hard to believe Luke actually cared about Stiletto since the dog was never around and Luke never thought of him.  This led to what I called the ‘Stiletto Editing Session’, which was a week long mission to make sure Luke’s furry friend got the attention he deserved.  In this case, the critic made me realize a mistake and I was able to fix it.

Now, this post might be more story than advice, but the handling of a critic is very important for any artist.  If you take it too personally, you’re going to be spending a lot of time angry and fighting.  If you ignore every criticism, you’re going to miss some very useful advice that can help you grow in your trade.  It is an act of balancing your own style with the helpful advice from people whose job it is to help you grow.  Always remember that the critic is doing their job and, typically, is not trying to be mean.

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Poetry Day: Envy Rondelet

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(A rondelet is a 7-line poem where the first line is repeated on line 3 and 7.  The refrain lines are usually 4 syllables and the other 4 lines are 8.  These were tough, so I hope I got them right.)

Are you Envy?

Do you get jealous all the time?

Are you Envy?

You want what everyone holds dear.

The wins of others cause you pain.

Even if you were not involved.

Are you Envy?

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Revisit: Magic of Support

Posted on January 27, 2013, I still don’t know about the question I wanted to ask after this post.  The one I would ask now is: Has anyone else had an encounter similar to the one I described?  One with a more experienced artist who seemed to suggest that you not even try.  Though, part of me thinks the author from long ago had a point.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the support that writers get when they are trying to ply their trade.  I’m not talking about agents and publishers, but the people who are there to hold them up.  I remember hearing a story about Stephen King’s wife pulling his first draft of ‘Carrie’ out of the trash, which I guess has become my gold standard of author cheerleader.  This is an endearing story, but I wonder if it’s common.

My fear of not being supporting comes from a specific encounter.  I met another fantasy author a long time ago.  This author was brought into a workshop to talk about publishing and I guess to talk to the lone fantasy author in the room.  That would be me.  He self-published and made his own cover.  I really don’t want to talk bad about somebody, but it was not a positive encounter.   He was a nice guy and was happy to talk shop with another fantasy author.  Yet, he said he had to trade a copy of his book for a tank of gas, lived off a box of donuts a week, and he hinted that his wife left him.  I couldn’t tell if he was brought in to make me feel good about my choice or to be a cautionary tale.  I was a lot younger and much easy to rattle back then.  I’m finally starting to shake that fear and build up enough ambition and determination to push forward with the dream.

This is really a difficult thing to write about, but I want to get it off my chest.  For a long time, I felt like people were making me feel guilty about wanting to pursue my writing.  It meant I would be a ‘burden’ on my family and there was no guarantee of success.  Today, I’m paranoid about how many of my supporters will actually buy my books when I start putting them out.  It’s the big fear that I’ve been fighting these last couple of months.  I’m well aware that I won’t succeed if the people around me refuse to support me by buying my books, reviewing my books, and spreading the word.  A reader recommendation holds more power than an author telling people to buy his book.  I’ve done this road twice before with self-publishing and both times ended in utter defeat.

I wanted to end this with a question, but I have no idea what to ask.  This is really becoming more of a soul-bearing, revealing my current fear post, which I’ve come to learn is a dangerous type of post to make.  So, I guess I’ll just end it here.

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Teaser Tuesday: Begrudging Allies

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

This is a fun scene from Beginning of a Hero and one that I remember changing a lot during the editing process.  Every time I altered my plan for Kira, I had to come back to this scene and change the way she acted and talked.  My focus was originally solely on Kellia and her butting heads with Luke, but I had to shift at times to make sure I wasn’t ignoring the other characters.  Enjoy.

Continue reading

Posted in Beginning of a Hero, Legends of Windemere, Teaser Tuesday | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Colors – How they can enhance your characters and settings – #7 BROWN

Hello, SE’ers!!! It’s Jan here again with another deep dive into a specific color and how we can use it to show more about our characters or enhance …

Colors – How they can enhance your characters and settings – #7 BROWN
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Revisit: The Rejection Letter: Inspiration, Pain, and Kindling

Posted on January 19th, 2013, this is a fun one.  Not really much else to add to it since it’s right to the point.  People who weren’t following me back then might get a kick out of the final question though.

For some reason, I began thinking about all of the rejection letters I have received since I first began submitting my writing in high school.  That was 17 years ago and I gathered a lot of rejection letters until I stopped trying a few years ago.  I didn’t quit writing, but decided that there had to be another way for me.  I felt a change in the writing world and I was seeing it in the rejection letters.  There was no longer a pretense of publishers and agents reading my submissions.  One even messed up spelling my name and write the title of a book that wasn’t familiar.  Many times I never got a response, so I began looking into the industry.  I really had no idea what was going on until I received the following statement in an agent’s rejection letter:

“We think you have talent and your story shows a lot of promise.  Sadly, you are not Stephen King, so we have no place for you.  We wish you the best of luck.”

This confused me for several days because I was well aware that I wasn’t Stephen King.  For one thing, I have no interest or connection to Maine and I’m shorter.  I assumed that this comment meant one of the following translations:

1.  You are not as talented as Stephen King, so we don’t want you.

2. I wasn’t as famous as Stephen King, so they weren’t willing to take the risk.

Now, I can fully agree with and accept the first translation because I think Stephen King is better than me right now.  I’m always learning and evolving my style, so I could reach his level at some point.  For now, he is one of the masters and I’m one of the struggling peons.

That second one is what I think was really being said and that irked me.  A lot.  Not because they were wrong because they were right.  It was because I felt like they were rejecting me because I wasn’t already published.  Yet, I had been rejected by publishers for not having an agent.  It was my first time meeting the Writer’s Catch 22:  You need an agent to get published, you need a fanbase to get an agent, but you need to be published to get a fanbase.  I was young and easily angered, so I did what any rational author would do.  I started thinking up various ways to destroy the rejection letters and laugh like a maniac while doing it.  There were darts, swords, scissors, lacing one with peanut butter and leaving it out for the squirrels, and so many other methods that should nominate me for a padded room.  The Stephen King one made it to the end where I simply burned it over a pot and swore I was going to prove everyone wrong.  In retrospect, I probably should have kept that rejection letter on the off chance that I ever meet Stephen King.

So, the point of this post is to reveal my past with rejection letters, which has been plaguing my mind and ask the following question:

What was the most bizarre or inspirational rejection letter you ever received and what did you do with it?

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Happy National Ice Cream Day

Perfect time of year for this holiday.  At least for this part of the world where we have summer.  So:

  1. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?  (Gold Medal Ribbon from Baskin Robbins)
  2. What’s your least favorite?  (Mint chocolate chip)
  3. What’s the weirdest flavor you have tried?  (Buttered popcorn flavor . . . Ew.)

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Goal Post: Hot, Busy, and Aching

This was definitely a big work week because the humidity caused me to have little energy for more.  I spent time with my son, which included a zoo trip last Sunday.  They reopened the ‘World of Darkness’ at the Bronx Zoo, which doesn’t allow flash photography.  I remembered later that you could do videos, so we went back before leaving to get these:

I really hope those work when the post goes live.  I’ll put a slideshow of pictures below too.

Anyway, being out in the sun all day didn’t help me with my work week.  It meant that I started off tired and things rolled out of control until I simply passed out on my bed at 9 PM on Wednesday.  This was beneficial since Thursday was our trip to an amusement park, so I needed the rest.  I don’t go on rides and it was the hottest day of the week, so I got drained even with water to drink.  Probably why I barely made it through writing this post last night.  Hey, I made it though.

I did manage to type in the edits for a big chapter of Darwin & the Beast Collector before the weekend.  Mustered up enjoy energy and focus to do it over the course of two nights and an hour in the afternoon.  Helped that I needed to get out of the sun for a bit before going back outside.  This leaves me with about 5 chapters and I hope to get another one done this weekend.  I won’t say I’ll do it for sure, but I’m going to try to make some progress.

One of the reasons why I might not get much done is the weather isn’t as bad as it was during the week.  This means, I can get some fresh air and Pokemon time in to make up for not doing much before.  I have this challenge where I have to walk 25 kilometers a week for 8 weeks straight, so I need to make sure I reach the goal.  They also have a special 4 day event where music from the long time game composer will play during the hours of 5-8 PM.  There are special Pokemon showing up during that time, but I want to get out for 1-2 hours of that each night just to listen to the music.  I should still be able to get an hour of editing in after that as well as time in the morning and early afternoon.  It really depends on my energy levels.

There are other stressors hitting me too, but I can’t go into those.  Combined with the weather and exhaustion, I haven’t had the best mental defenses against my anxiety.  It’s hitting after I go to sleep too.  So, I’ll jolt awake and not know why because I’ll be highly disoriented.  Not enough to forget I have my CPAP mask on, but enough to not really know why I’m awake.  This results in me feeling overheated and gaining a wheeze, so I check my vitals in fear of being sick.  My brain just won’t let me believe that it’s anxiety and I can’t stop myself from a little medical doom scrolling on my phone.  Eventually, I try to fall asleep again, which doesn’t work out well when I have to wake up in 2-3 hours.  I toss and turn, look at the clock, let my mind wander, and suffer until I might vaguely pass out.  This is why I tend to collapse Wednesday or Thursday night instead of softly going to bed.  I think walking helps me get some of the tension out, but I always run into various stressors before bed.

Going back to the writing world, I have been mentally tinkering with an idea that gives me some trouble.  It was originally about two groups of thieves who are members of the same guild.  They are rivals because of various slights and are racing each other to find the Cataclysm Hoard.  I was basing characters (both heroes and villains) off newer people in my life, but I keep losing contact with some and making new connections.  So, I keep adding and removing concepts.  It’s reached a point where I don’t know if I want it to be rival thieves or just a whole guild with everyone working towards the same goal.  That or make two guilds instead of one.  Some character concepts:

  • My cannibalistic gnome who is completely adorable.
  • Intelligent ogre who acts as the gnome’s keeper and translator.
  • Divorced couple who are forced to work together with the guy being an assassin type and the woman being a caster thief.  Many barbs are thrown at each other, which paints their ridiculous past.
  • Princess turned thief.
  • Halfling assassin turned thief and her female orc bestie.
  • Leads of both groups were going to be thieves with summoning powers.  I wonder if I could have them use the same spirits, so they can’t use the same ones at the same time or something.

This is definitely developing a comical vibe to it, but I’m creating a pretty large cast for both sides.  I really should sit down and think more about this one as well as make a character list.  Right now, I have 9 thieves on each side with a bunch of others within the guild.  That sounds like a lot per side, especially since this was going to be a trilogy.  I could do it like I plan with the superhero stuff and make each of the books a collection of short stories that run along the same main plot.  Really hard to figure this whole thing out, especially with me being so tired.

Anyway, goals of the week?

  1. Type in 2 chapters worth of edits for Darwin & the Beast Collector.
  2. Get extra sleep.
  3. Plan son’s birthday party for next weekend.
  4. Enjoy being outside before the heat returns.
  5. Hydrate.
  6. Work on puzzle when need quiet.
  7. Tinker with thoughts.

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Revisit: Windemere: The Silent Character

Published on January 13, 2013, this feels like another post where things that now feel obvious just dawn on me.  I would eventually go on to talk a few times about the setting being as much of a character as the heroes and villains.  For anyone curious about Windemere’s early days, check out Beginning of a Hero for free.

Art by Alison Hunt

I keep thinking about the character posts that I will be tossing out as characters appear in the chapter sections.  Well, I realized that there is a very important ‘character’ that I give less credit and attention to than Stiletto.  This is the world that I meticulously created and now call Windemere.

As I stated, I began these stories when I was playing D&D, so the initial form of Windemere was the Forgotten Realms.  Really it was only Waterdeep because within two months of starting, I had begun adding more to Windemere.  The world that began as a simple coastline grew into multiple continents, four moons, and so many regions that I had trouble keeping track of it by the end of college.  You see, I got bored on weekends and nights when people were too busy to hang out.  So, I would sit at my computer and add regions onto Windemere or outline stories that included new cities.   The world evolved just like my characters, but at a stranger, less consistent pace.

I don’t remember what the initial name of Windemere was, but I knew it was lame.  Now, I went to college in upstate New York and the college was right on Lake Ontario.  So, I would go out to the lake to think if the weather was tolerable.  I remember wandering along the coast while the rain began to fall and I was trying to think of a name for my world.  I had gotten caught up on the idea of putting -mere at the end of it for some reason.  There was something about that ending that just clicked with me.  Then, a gust of wind started whipping the rocky coast and churning the lake.  I have always had a fascinating with watching nature and this time was no exception.  Windemere came into my mind and it was there to stay.

Here is where the story gets a little odd.  Windemere was not the first world that I created and nurtured.  There was it’s older sister named Mylrix from my high school days.  Mylrix was a simple world with a continent to the north, south, east, west, and a central island chain.  Not much was different between them and I only had a few stories taking place on the world.  Well, Mylrix wasn’t too thrilled with the new world on the block, but she was quickly losing in the power struggle.  She had so powerful warriors, but Windemere had legendary figures and living gods.  Things became an even bigger mess when I started dabbling in superhero stories and created the simply named Super Earth.  Now, Mylrix was horribly overshadowed and Windemere was trying to be nice.  Super Earth was kind of a bully and would push into my thoughts more often than Windemere liked.  Poor Mylrix was almost forgotten by the time I hit 25 and the power struggle was really between Windemere and Super Earth.  A few smaller worlds showed up for a few one-shot ideas and short series, but they promptly stayed out of the fight.

Then came the Great Cataclysm of Windemere.  Characters began talking about it and I wasn’t 100% certain what it was.  Eventually, I fixed this by combining Mylrix and Windemere with Mylrix being Pre-Cataclysm Windemere.  The name of Mylrix went to the plane of magic, which had crashed into the physical plane, hence creating the high-magic world that you see now.  Mylrix had passed away and given her power and stories to Windemere.  The smaller worlds decided to do the same, becoming islands and kingdoms of their oldest sibling.  This all brought about last summer where I realized that Super Earth and Windemere were butting heads too much.  I was getting my wires crossed with their stories because there were several cross-overs and similarities.  So, the decision was made to merge them and Windemere absorbed Super Earth, making it so vast and in-depth that I don’t think it’s early form would recognize it.

This merging cleared up a few mysteries of Windemere such as the origin of the day-walking vampires and what happened to Varlis City.  The superheroes were now a side-effect of the fall of Mylrix that were sealed away and will return for a series that plagues me.  Maybe I’ll go into that at some point, but I think I’m still forbidden by my wife and a few friends from uttering the name of the series.  This also put a mysterious Ice Crown at the top of the world, which the gods are unable to see or get into.  Horsemen of War, an organization of revolver-using warriors, ghost hunters, witches, and everything that I had fit perfectly into Windemere as if this was how it was supposed to be in the end.  Sure, this makes my fantasy world very powerful and closer to a Final Fantasy type world than Middle Earth, but there is something about operating in a single world for my entire career that makes me smile.

That is the origin of Windemere and some notes about its former siblings.  It is a character that will be slowly explored over the course of all of my books.  As the characters move along their path, the reader will get to explore with them.  Even today, I have no idea what is going to be ahead for this ever-changing world.

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