This is going to be a fun (possibly disastrous) tease at a few fictional worlds. Here we go and I apologize in advance:
If you live in a world the size of Australia where chicken are invulnerable to swords and there’s a mute elf running around with a disturbing amount of weapons . . . you’re in Hyrule. Want to know where Link keeps all those weapons? In his magic hat. Don’t be sick people. He’s not Solid Snake from Metal Gear.
If you die, come back, turn evil, die, come back, and change powers every few months . . . you’re in Marvel comics. Unless you’re Uncle Ben and stay dead.
If you’re in a world where vampires are trolling high schools from the safety of a car with blacked out windows . . . you’re in Sunnydale (Buffy).
If you’re in a world where vampires are trolling high schools in broad daylight in a town that apparently never has direct sunlight . . . you’re in Twilight. Seriously, how did he go to school or walk around without being pointed out as sparkling?
If you’re in a world where kids fight to the death and the adults let it go on for years . . . you’re either in Hunger Games or Battle Royale. We all know that the adults were secretly all for this because they were tired of children crying in supermarkets.
If you’re in a world where you can be considered close friends even though you spent very little time together as a group . . . you’re in Middle Earth. The Fellowship didn’t even last for a full book before they all went their separate ways.
If you’re in a world with talking animals and a lion that rules over all . . . you’re in Bedknobs and Broomsticks. Marvelous children’s film.
If you’re in a world with talking animals, a lion that sounds like Jesus, and you’re told to clean a sword that isn’t dirty . . . you’re in Narnia. Lion can also sound like Liam Neeson if you’re not Christian.
If you’re in a world where you’re trying to get an element that’s name screams you shouldn’t be trying to get it . . . you’re on Pandora and James Cameron now owns rights to your soul.
If you’re in a world where you’re not on Earth, humans look like humans, and some people have British accents . . . you’re in Star Wars. FYI- Don’t aim the lightsaber at your face when you first get it. The hell is wrong with you, young Skywalker?
If you’re in a world where magic is over the top and punches to the stomach are more common than saying hi . . . you’re Windemere. What kind of idiot wrote this excellent piece of entertaining literature? (My blog. Don’t judge me.)
If you’re in a world where magic is low key and your life is in danger because you happened to attend the same school as a Chosen One . . . you’re at Hogwarts. Did any student besides Hermione get grades in that school or was she the lone sucker that didn’t realize you couldn’t get left back at this school?
(Submitted by Misha Burnett) If everyone you meet is dressed in filthy rags but has perfect hair… you’re in a 70’s Drive-In Dystopia
If you’re in a world where it’s always raining and you swear you keep seeing Indiana Jones or Han Solo chasing androids . . . you’re in Bladerunner. I still don’t understand the unicorn.
If you’re in a world where you die within five minutes . . . then you’re in Game of Thrones. It’s within two minutes if you’re a fan favorite.
So, that’s all I have and I hope people find them funny. Feel free to do your own in the comments and I’ll make a second post over the weekend if I get enough.
