Yeah . . . I don’t have one of those since I’m still ‘working’. Anyway, I had an urge to post spontaneously and then things happened. Now I’m not sure what I was going to write about. I’ve already pushed back the scheduled post to this afternoon and I’m too ‘blah’ to change it.
I’m starting to realize that constant stress and pressure ends with me feeling really depressed by the weekend. Just don’t want to be around people and any amount of cheer is kind of forced. Not sleeping well either, but I think we’ve established that a good night’s sleep for me involves either a coma or death.
It just seems like I’m drowning in a funk that I can’t get out of and I’m at the point where writing about it is the only thing I can think of doing. This never goes well though because people don’t know what to do with someone who is feeling depressed without an actual target. We seem to think depressed and sad are the same thing because people have been using them interchangeably for a long time. Well, they’re different and that will probably be a long post I do at some point after more thought on the matter. It’s too big and delicate a topic to ramble into here. All I will say is that the ‘suck it, cupcake’ style comments I typically get when I’m in this mood is not helpful. These tend to make me either feel worse or want to take how many whacks it takes with a toaster oven to drive a person into unconsciousness. FYI- It’s one with a microwave, but only if you take a running start.
One thing that might have me off is the editing and I’m starting to feel like I’m kind of alone here. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s that I have nobody to bounce ideas off of because everyone is scared of spoilers. Maybe I feel rushed or struggling to write in an environment rife with distractions. Maybe I’ve come so far in the series that I’m in foreign territory. I mean, I don’t have to do big descriptions of the established characters any more. By the 6th book, you should know Timoran Wrath is a towering barbarian with red hair and Nyx is a slender half-elf with a love of fire magic. Their relationships have been established too, so there’s no more ‘get to know you’ scenes.
I’m editing the 7th book right now and it’s definitely got shorter sections and gets more to the point. And that might be part of the issue. I keep wondering if there’s a scene missing in here even though everything is tight. I remember how I added a scene to Allure of the Gypsies after 2 years of reading over it. I had a sense that something was missing, but this isn’t the same. Information is gathered and events occur ‘off camera’ here because they weren’t really long to begin with. I can think of one scene that I might want to add, but I don’t know if I should. Basically, the Luke/Kira/Sari stuff takes a turn now that all three are in the same place for once. Yet, I seem to focus more on Sari and the Luke/Kira interactions are talked about after the fact. Maybe a reason for this is because it’s normal couple stuff with subtle hints that something is off. Do people really need to see them eat together or making out in bed? The overall plot doesn’t really open itself up to them doing real couple things either.
I don’t know. I’m feeling out of it, alone, and coming to some limit. And I’ve apparently been chosen to take my son to a friend’s birthday party. Guess I’ll edit and do laundry later.