Legends of Windemere

On This Day I State My Goals & Bitch About Wattpad

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Charles Yallowitz

It’s that time to state my weekly goals. Last week didn’t work out too well. Disease kept me out of exercising a lot because it’s hard to bike with a gasping wheeze. Sick child and errands dropped me to 2 chapters instead of 3 for my book. Never got to touch ‘Tales of the Slumberlord’. At least the cooking went well.

Wattpad has become a disaster too. I chopped the excerpt into chapters to get an idea of who was reading through the entire thing. Answer: Nobody. The first section has 61 reads while all the others have 1. They’ve been at 1 for a week and I think that’s from me checking them. So, I have no idea if people are simply not interested or they don’t realize that there are other chapters to go through. It was a novel idea, but I might have to put it back to the original for no other reason than I’d rather trick myself into thinking it’s being read.

So that new goals of the week:

Try exercising again.
Get over this damn cold.
Write 2 chapters of ‘The Compass Key’.
Finish the last two book write-ups for ‘Tales of the Slumberlord’.
Write a Nimby Fairy Tale for a friend.
Remember my son’s neurologist appointment this week.
Fix Wattpad entry.
Read more of ‘Shadows of Sheradan’ by Scott Barker.

I’m planning on getting some of these done today if I can get my head to stop throbbing with a dull pain.

Final note, thank you to Green Embers and the rest of the Rome Construction Crew for making me a Lieutenant. I’ll try my best not to be the bumbling one that has to get shipped off to the Arctic Base for his own good.

Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged author, exercise, goals, hope, RCC, rome construction crew, wattpad, writer, writing | 9 Comments

Ask and Be Answered: Trope Removal

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Charles Yallowitz

Misha Burnett asked me a question on my ‘Ask and Be Answered’ page. The question was:

“If you could make one trope of speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction, horror) magically vanish, what would it be? For example, just wave your hand and *poof*, no more bio-engineered plague that turns people into zombies, or no more elvish archers or whatever. What do you think has been done to death and should be allowed to rest in peace?”

First, my experience with horror is extremely limited and I don’t understand the point of most of its trends. Sex gets you killed, the kid is always under attack by the monster, the villain can walk faster than an athlete can sprint, etc. So, I’m going to leave that genre alone.

For science-fiction it would be nice if we would leave Mars alone for a while. 9 times out of 10 it’s Mars that we go to or the enemies come from. I get that we’re obsessed with Mars, but there are other planets out there. Other galaxies too. Give the red planet a break before somebody is dumb enough to make ‘Mars Needs Moms 2′.

Here’s the big genre though. My genre. The one I’ve spent most of my life playing in and enjoying more than reality. What would I get rid of from Fantasy?

I thought about this all day, mostly to drown out the screaming toddler. I think almost everything can be kept solely because there could be a twist that I could see. Elven archers can be used, but they’re ghost-like because they’ve been alive for so long. Dragons are cowardly creatures that live on a single island or something. The fun about fantasy is that you can twist everything at some point. Yet, there is one thing that I find personally annoying with fantasy and it’s something that not a lot of people would notice.

STOP MAKING MAGIC A WONDER IN ITS OWN DAMN WORLD!

Let me explain. You live in a world where elves live forever, dragons roam the land, demons can be summoned, monsters are added into the ecosystem, and fairies exist. A magic item is uncommon, but you know they exist. All of this wonder and fascination around you would be the equivalent of airplanes, cars, and microwaves to us. Yes, a guy from the suburbs would be amazed by an elephant in the wild. That’s because it isn’t found everywhere. In many fantasy worlds, magic is everywhere, but the guy able to light a candle with a snap of his fingers STILL gets more awe than the pointed-eared immortal playing darts in the corner.

I’ve read so many books where a character is amazed by another character that can cast magic. Then, I remember that the amazed character is carrying a magic sword or a magic ring. Why be surprised about the fireball flinger when your sword can coat itself in lightning and move on its own? I know the reader is supposed to be in awe of the magic, but I’m tired of characters from a magical world being surprised by magic when there is no basis in the book that magic is rare. It would be like Luke Skywalker being fascinated and amazed by Droids.

Magic is a very delicate part of fantasy and it can be misused very easily. I know those of us in reality would be in awe of a real spellcaster, but that’s us. You can get away with common peasants being like that too. This doesn’t fly for the King of your kingdom acting like he hasn’t seen magic before even though he’s fought wars against undead, has a Magic School in his territory, rides a griffin, and owns a Crown of Telepathy.

So, I would get rid of the trend of spellcasters always being looked at in awe. Maybe it’s just a job that they have the natural talent for.

Posted in Answered Questions | Tagged author, fantasy, fiction, magic, writer, writing | 21 Comments

What Keeps Me Going

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Charles Yallowitz

Last month, I was asked by Julie Green Art to make a list of what keeps me going. The request came right before I left for my convention, I promised to do it the next week, and forgot. For taking so long, I deeply apologize and will make sure to keep some sort of system that avoids this mistake in the future.

So, here’s a list of what keeps me going:

Tenacious determination.
Blind stubbornness.
Wanting to make my son proud when he’s old enough to have a thorough opinion of me.
Pizza.
The voices in my head.
An obsessive love of writing and telling stories.
Urge to prove my doubters wrong.
Desire to have fun and make friends.
Helpful nature that translates to a near inability to say ‘No’.
Curiosity.
Added on in edit: A sense of humor.

Might seem like a simple and emotional list, but that’s me. I’ve begun not having much in the way of physical motivators. Most of what keeps me going is internal, which probably explains a few of my emotional outbursts. A few friends have pointed out that I wear my heart on my sleeve even after it’s been stabbed multiple times. Probably true, but I’m no longer the type to keep things bottled up. It doesn’t seem to have a benefit. Anyway, those are the drives behind me.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged author, inspiration, motivation, writer, writing | 38 Comments

Live Twitter Chat

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Charles Yallowitz

Reblogged from Destiny Allison:

I hope you will join me on Monday, May 20 at 6 pm MST for a live twitter interview and chat with Andre Gensburger. You can stream the chat by going to tweetchat.com and using the hashtag #misterwriter.

The interview and chat will focus on writing, art, and life in general and should be a ton of fun. My twitter handle is @sfsculptor.

Sweat of the Housekeeper

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Charles Yallowitz

Vacuuming and dusting

Make sure things aren’t rusting

Clean the gutters

Wipe down the shutters

Use a toothbrush on the grout

Don’t let them see you pout

Elbow grease for those dishes

You need a genie with three wishes

The toilet scrubbing turns your nose

All four cars will get the hose

Morning has turned into night

You worked alone with all your might

Now you get to rest

Wait!

You missed a post

Posted in Poems | Tagged author, chores, cleaning, dusting, poem, poet, poetry, scrubbing, writer, writing | 34 Comments

Garbage Truck Amok!

Posted on May 18, 2013 by Charles Yallowitz

This is an attempt at a children’s story that my friend and I were going to attempt. I finished the writing part, but we never got around to illustrating. Presently, I’m not sure with to do with it. I figured I’ll toss it out here and see if people like it. Every stanza/paragraph is supposed to be a different page/scene.

It happened one morning in the town of Galeep.
A loud noise jerked everyone out of their sleep.
No one knew the cause or had any nerve to see
Except for young Maxie from his fort in the tree.

He could see the whole town from his perch.
From Mr. Kelworth’s big store to his family’s church.
Maxie looked high and low for the source of the sound.
That rattled the windows all over town.

The noise was soon joined by a horrible smell.
It made Maxie’s stomach not feel very well.
But his nose followed the scent as soon as it struck.
Helping Maxie to see a garbage truck gone amok.

Maxie saw no one driving behind the loose wheel.
He wondered if the driver had left the truck for a meal.
Then the truck moved out of park and into a drive.
It headed straight for the road as if it were alive.
Then it made its way to the town of Galeep
Intending to transform the town to a heap.

The truck careened through Galeep from the north to the south.
It hurled pieces of garbage from its mechanical mouth.
Like half-filled tins of green hash and slightly chewed meats
Pizza slices, newspapers, and a box of sour beets.

It followed the streets with a mind of its own
While it covered the stores with grass freshly mown.
It made a quick turn in front of the school
Coating it in buckets of Aunt Bessie’s thick gruel.

Then it went past the library that was closed for the night.
Leaving a pile of used diapers and Maxie’s old kite.
Rusty bikes and dry tissues and bent ceiling fans
The truck spewed all the trash a man could fit in his cans.
Maxie stared in amazement at the garbage around
As the smell started flowing from all of the ground.

Soon the truck swerved off the road to the park
That was thankfully empty because it was still dark.
The truck ran over benches and bumped into trees.
It bounced off a statue that it hit in the knees.
The truck headed toward the pond where Maxie fed ducks
And he knew those small birds had no love for trucks.

The truck hit a hill that made it jump high.
Where it still threw fresh garbage into the sky.
It had enough height to go over the pond
And with a deafening boom it landed beyond.

The garbage truck moved on to the middle of town
Leaving all the places behind it, a little rundown.
Then Maxie heard the siren of all the police
Who had come to the rescue and make the truck cease.

Their lights were all blazing as they went on the chase.
It was time to end this ruckus with haste!
They followed the garbage truck staying back a few yards
As the truck began vomiting used decks of cards.
Soon it hurled up old tires and pots full of cold stew.
While police chased the truck from First Street to Last Avenue.

Hours had passed when the truck swerved to the west
Throwing out one last item: a beaten up chest.
The truck passed the town’s edge and turned to the right.
Within minutes the garbage truck was far out of sight.

Posted in Novellas | Tagged author, children, children's story, garbage truck, humor, mess, story, trash, writer, writing | 23 Comments

How's Your Neighborhood?

Posted on May 17, 2013 by Charles Yallowitz

Reblogged from mishaburnett:

This morning I had an unpleasant experience.

I am going to be deliberately vague because I don't want to single out the person involved. Suffice to say that I have contacted the person privately and received a response that satisfied me. So if you haven't corresponded with me regarding this, I'm not talking about you.

With that being said, I have been working on building my network of indie writers and I visit a lot of indie writer's websites.