A fragile necessity
To any connection
Be it person
Beast
Or ephemeral thought
One needs to trust
To feel safe and whole
It wards of darkness
And brings calm
To an internal storm of horror
We desperately depend
On the ones we trust
Bonds forged over time
Shared experiences
And loves
Delicately woven through years
To build a tapestry
That can be burned
By a single act
Maybe I should put some mild context here. It might come out on the blog or a person might notice it in comments or private chats, but I do have a lot of trust issues. They’ve been there for a long time, but some recent events amplified them to the point where I have to be careful. When trust is broken, it doesn’t only hurt the connection that it was built on. The wronged party can become anxious and worried that it will happen again. It adds a darker tone to every relationship they hold at this time and walk into later. What to some might be a small transgression becomes a sign that another betrayal is happening. I think this is made worse by the Internet too because we don’t have voice tone, facial expressions, and body language here. Trust issues can drive one to assume the worst and that creates what one fears. Guess my point here is that people should always take a step back and see what drives another. Is there a trauma that left a psychological scar, which has been inadvertently poked?
Hi, SEers John here with you. Today I want to share some information I learned from Dave Chesson on pre-orders on Amazon. As you may know, Dave is the founder of Publisher Rocket, and he is one of the foremost experts on all things Amazon.
Used with permission
The question I want to answer is, do pre-orders help or hinder a book launch? Since I’m getting ready to launch Eternal Road – The last stop, I did some research on the idea of whether or not pre-orders are a good thing.
Here is what I learned. Pre-orders work like magic if you are an author with the following attributes.
You are famous
You have a large following
You are a marketing genius with an iron-clad launch plan.
I don’t fit into any of those categories. So, I am subject to some of the facts of life of…
My book tour will continue this week. I don’t have anyone for today. I’m just going to drop some cover art and talk about my current promotion, because it’s for a limited time.
***
Blurb: The Lanternfish crew completed their original mission, but got exposed to a more global problem. An entire continent is at war, headed up by a head-strong young king with dreams of power, and pushed from behind by a mysterious religious order known as the Fulminites.
Rather than let their country fall under the iron boot of conquest, James and his crew set sail once more to see what kind of muscle Lanternfish can lend to the war effort. Acting precariously under an unofficial charter as a privateer, even his allies aren’t always his friends.
HMS Lanternfish explores new worlds on its way to war, and drifts considerably off course. It features an international crew…
(I’m in a poetic mood for this week. Next week might start promoting War of Nytefall: Ravenous, so I’ll be rather whimsical for a bit. Enjoy. I think. Shedding some heavy emotions here too.)
Time has passed
And the unseen wound remains
Not a gaping gash
Or a piercing hole
The edges have tried to meet
But never fully closing
*
Opinions always voiced
From those that may not know
Their pain is not my own
The taste is different
Cures are not universal
Some tear the scab anew
*
People turn away
Impatient and frustrated
Nobody likes pain
That sits invisible
Upon the soul of another
They run from infection
*
Healing continues on
A day is good
Filled with hope and light
Then darkness comes
Birthed by one stumble
And the wound bleeds
Looking at the schedule, this is an AMAZING week to check out the festival. No fewer than 4 authors on each day. I’ve even thrown War of Nytefall: Loyalty into the mix for today, but that’s just the beginning. You can wander the virtual festival grounds while eating or right before bed. It doesn’t require any gas or admission. The book doesn’t even have to be for you. If you see something that a friend or loved one or enemy would like then grab a copy or send them to the festival!
You probably think that’s rather obvious, but consider buddy stories like Thelma and Louise, Harold and Kumar, or Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Maybe you think you have two protagonists. To elevate your story from a situation to a story, you need to choose one. (Or you need to define these points for both protagonists then merge them into one story.) Maybe you think the character whose name is first is the protagonist. But depending on which film you look at in the franchise, the protagonist might change. Harold was the protagonist in one of the films; Kumar was in another.
So, yes, you really do need to decide who your protagonist is, and…
Well, it’s that time to write a blurb and see how it goes. I’m only doing one for Amazon due to funds and time. This one was difficult to come up with because I wanted to say so much. Also haven’t been in the best mood, so it took a few attempts. Let me know what you think:
*
Does that griffin have fangs?
News is spreading that wild beasts with vampiric natures have been attacking mortals and carrying off random victims. With the Dawn Fangs still a secret from mortal society, Clyde fears that these strange creatures will reveal his peoples’ existence before they are ready. Old enemies and trusted friends begin to disappear as the investigation goes deeper into a business that has been lurking in the shadows of Windemere for decades. Those who return are beholden to a new master whose cunning is matched only by her primal desires. As his allies disappear, Clyde is left with the one he trusts the most in all of the world to help him solve this mystery. Too bad Mab has her own secret that can cause more damage to Nytefall than any vampiric beast.
Is this how the Dawn Fangs will be revealed to Windemere?
I keep starting and deleting this post, which might be partially caused by it being after 1 AM. My hope is to finish writing War of Nytefall: Anarchy today and spend Sunday doing the outline for War of Nytefall: Eulogy. The rest of the week will be War of Nytefall: Savagery editing and a few outings with my son who is currently with his mother. Plenty of time to do writing, editing, and outlining . . . So, why am I so miserable and constantly on the verge of crying?
Well, this week saw a really nasty turn in a few arenas. One I’m not going to get into because it isn’t settled. The other is Graduate school, which is going about as smoothly as practicing french kissing with a blender. I was asked why I hadn’t signed up for any classes yet. Well, I didn’t even know I had an advisor, so I had no idea what I was supposed to do. After I mentioned this, somebody sent me a curt reply with two classes listed and a note that I need to talk to the teachers for details. I can’t talk to them until I sign up for classes. Keep in mind that I couldn’t talk to anybody about my situation until I registered too. I haven’t had that conversation either.
One of the big cruxes or whatever issues here is the student teaching. First, everything I did in Florida doesn’t count, including classes. No life experiences or previous work are considered from what I can tell. That means, my current job as a TA doesn’t help me at all with this. Heck, they won’t even tell me if I have to retake the seminars I already did to get my TA certification. All of this means that I might have to leave my job to do student teaching, which I am not a fan of since I need the money and benefits. My questions and concerns have been met with unhelpful responses that range from sending me to someone else or a ‘we will cross that bridge when we come to it’. Keep in mind that I’ll have already spent maybe $2,000 by the time I hit that bridge. If I can’t cross it then I’m out the money and all the time I used up.
Time is the other issue. This is going to take a lot of work on top of my job and I’ve heard that some teachers act like you have nothing else in your life beyond their class. Might work for someone fresh out of undergrad, but I’m a 40-year-old single father with a day job. My weekends and evenings will be spent getting this work done, which means I’ll be sacrificing several things. Writing and this blog will be tossed into the furnace, which is something that I’ve noticed a few people around here practically celebrating. I genuinely don’t know if I’ll be able to return in any fashion with this type of crushing defeat. It does feel like a crushing defeat regardless of what anyone is going to say in the comments. The other thing is that it really limits the time I get with my son and that’s already looking rather slim because of other responsibilities. The kid might not see much of me during the week and I’m supposed to ignore him all weekend while I write a research paper? That’s going to be the situation for a few years and I might even have to throw a summer session or two into the mix.
The truth is that I’m really having doubts and the people I have easiest access to talk to around here are locked in on grad school for me. They don’t care if I’m happy or miserable from what I can tell. I get lectured and yelled at if I complain or say that I’m not entirely sure any more. Don’t get me wrong. I love being a TA and helping students in a big hands-on level. Yet, will I still be able to do that as a teacher? The biggest argument for doing this is that it will make me more money. Yet, that isn’t a guarantee since there is a vast army of unemployed teachers waiting for a spot. As someone who isn’t able to move very far for a job, I’m at a big disadvantage. That’s not even counting experience, which I’ll always be behind on. That means I could spend thousands of dollars, sacrifice my writing, and lose a lot of time with my son for absolutely nothing.
At one point, a friend asked me what would make my happy. I was stunned because nobody had asked that during this entire debacle, which will probably get worse when certain people read this post. Keep in mind that I’ve stressed myself and had a few crying breakdowns over this because I feel trapped. Will I be seen as a failure if I give up on grad school now? Will I be shunned and yelled at routinely? Is money the reason I want to get into teaching? After all of these questions, I got hit with the happiness one and I could only think of one word:
Peace
It’s lame and abstract, but I’ve spent so much of my life stressing and toiling away at dreams that were designed by others. I’m easily convinced to follow them, but they turn sour and then I’m bullied into continuing on. The more miserable I get, the harder I get pushed as if I’ll eventually smile. Can’t even remember the last time I felt like I genuinely had peace. There’s always been some drama and chaos in my life. Just the ability to go to bed every night without being on the verge of crying would be a welcome change. It feels like it isn’t too much to ask for, but I’m getting driven ahead by people who have always treated me this way. It’s never about what I want or what makes me happy. It’s about the money and status that my life holds. Graduate school is supposed to secure all of that in their minds, but that isn’t how it works any more. I’ve talked to more unemployed teachers who say that it isn’t the silver bullet they were promised than those who say it’s the only way to go. This adds to my torture because I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to do any more. It feels like I lose no matter what.
This post has really been nothing more than a rant that I’ve kept pent up for the last few days. My goals are what you see at the top. I finished watching ‘Umbrella Academy’ Season 2, which I recommend. I’m starting in on ‘New Legends of Monkey’ from the beginning. Beyond all of that, I hope to be in a better mood next weekend. For now, I think I’m fairly broken. Maybe grad school was one step too far for me at this moment since I’m still trying to piece my life together after the divorce. Not like anybody really cares. It’s all about the money, right?
As I said on Monday, I haven’t really tried to write with another author. The few attempts I did make was long ago and failed miserably with the exception of a project in high school. This means, I’m not an expert and can only talk through what I think can help instead of what I know. May have just negated my entire Wednesday post, but that’s the truth. Now, I open the floor to those who might know a few things and be able to lend a hand.
Have you ever co-authored a book or tried to do so? Why or why not?
What do you think is the biggest challenge to co-authoring a book?
What advice would you give to an author partnership?
Image by Pixabay 
Used with permission 
Blurb: The Lanternfish crew completed their original mission, but got exposed to a more global problem. An entire continent is at war, headed up by a head-strong young king with dreams of power, and pushed from behind by a mysterious religious order known as the Fulminites.
Legends of Windemere 