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The meme seems a bit cruel, but there may be a kernel of truth to it when it comes to authors. Nothing to be proud of either. So, what exactly am I talking about here?
First, I did think about trying to put this as a Do I Need to Use a Dragon? entry. I didn’t because it can be a very sensitive topic. Authors can become fixated on their stories to the point where the rest of the world fades away. Many get frustrated if they are repeatedly blocked from writing, which can cause problems if loved ones are the blockage sources. We don’t like to admit that this is a possible situation, but it’s much more common than one would think. It can also trigger a variety of arguments, which is why I couldn’t figure out how to tackle it in the book.
I’ve talked a lot over the years about authors needing a support system, especially from family and friends. It isn’t just to buy and read their books. This system has to understand that time and space are needed to produce a book. There needs to be respect for the craft and working with an author to make sure they can write. If those who are around an author don’t see their craft as a serious endeavor or hate it in general, they can become an obstacle. Sometimes it’s on purpose while others times it’s be accident. This creates friction and strained relationships. One could say this is another dark side of being an author.
Of course, the ultimate responsibility is to the author themselves. We have to figure out the balance and talk about what we need to write. We also have to listen to our loved ones and hear what they want from us. It is a give and take situation where the author gets time to write, but also has to make sure they make time for loved ones. The scale tipping too far to one side will turn a stable situation into a major mess.
It’s easy for authors to fall into this mess too because we can get tunnel vision on our projects, especially when the ideas keep on flowing. There is a fear of the creativity drying up and losing the story, which is coming to us so easily. Through this fear, an author can break promises to loved ones. On the other hand, family and friends should be able to understand if the author has hit the zone. This can only be understood through conversation though, which means both sides need to talk. Both sides also need to listen and agree upon a plan.
Personally, there were times where I was writing instead of spending time with family and friends. The opportunity was there and I took it without realizing that I was wanted somewhere else. It was really at the start of when I was publishing and I saw that my books were selling. So, I wanted to ride the wave as quickly as possible, which is understandable. Still, I was talked to about not paying as much attention to my family as I should. I adjusted my schedule to write only when I was alone . . . Then, certain people who were family at the time kept making plans that didn’t involve me. Okay, me as an example might be a little on the wonky side.
The important thing for an author to consider is the life they are living outside of writing, which is a challenge. We love to write and always think about doing it. Yet, an author needs connections in life. That’s where we experience emotions and life, which we carry into our writing. This is why it’s important to take a step back and think about the people who are there when we put the pen/pencil/laptop down. If we write until we are all alone then we won’t have anyone to share our work with. At least, not anyone who knows is more than a name on a cover.
What do you do to make sure you maintain a good author/non-author life balance? Have you ever gone so far into writing that you hurt family and friends?
Legends of Windemere 