Giving vs Taking Advice

Writing a book like Do I Need to Use a Dragon? boils down to giving advice.  That’s fairly easy for people to do.  What isn’t easy is to take advice.  Kind of makes one wonder how these kinds of books become successful in the first place.

The truth, in my opinion, is that people don’t like being told what to do unless they are asking for help.  So, reading a ‘how to’ book means they are looking for advice.  The same goes for when an author gets beta readers, proofreaders, and editors.  One can accept this advice because we were asking for it.  Makes perfect sense because it means you are in control of the situation and have a plan.  It isn’t an unexpected handing off of an opinion that may feel like a slap in the face.

It really does feel like an attack when you’re given unsolicited advice.  You’re just minding your own business and somebody suddenly interjects their opinion.  It wasn’t asked for or expected.  This makes the advice come off as a criticism and possible insult.  With artists, they can easily wonder why advice would come their way without warning unless the giver had issues with their work.  Even if what is being said has merit, there is a highly likely chance that it will be ignored out of shock or pride.  It’s no longer about improving, but about maintaining control.

The opposite is true of giving advice.  Whether we’re asked or see an opening, most people will at least ask to offer a suggestion.  This is because we want to help out of genuine care or for a boost of pride-induced serotonin.  It could also be that we see an opportunity to get some attention as an expert or knowledgeable.  Whatever the reason, people do love sharing what they think and know, especially authors.  After all, writing a book is basically showing off what’s in our head.  Even fiction has this aspect of sharing in the hopes of getting recognition.

I think a lot of this involves human nature and psychology.  We have to understand how to approach a person with unsolicited advice, which could be as simple as asking.  Nobody likes to be ambushed with opinions, especially if they’re trying to create something on their own.  Intruding on the creative process can throw a person off and make them become highly defensive.  That’s more human nature because we’re treading into the territory of ego and control over ones actions.  It doesn’t seem that way, but it really is a big part of accepting advice.  Probably at the core of why it’s easier to give advice than it is to receive it.

Considering this issue, I tried my best to make Do I Need to Use a Dragon? more laidback and casual.  Even if a person bought the book, I didn’t want to come off as aggressive and pushy.  That can turn a person off to an opinion as well.  So, I had to be aware of tone as I wrote this book.  At times, I needed to control my excited and passion on a topic to make sure it wasn’t going into the realm of aggressive.  Not an easy task because most people can’t pick up on when they’re doing this.  Whether it be speaking or writing, humans can be pretty dense when it comes to their own delivery.  In our minds, we’re being strong and inspiring, but the reality is that we could be terrifying and annoying our target.  This is why I had to pause and recheck my word usage/tone as I got further into a topic.

So, how will do you give and/or take advice?

Also, pick up a copy of Do I Need to Use a Dragon? for 99 cents as an eBook or $20 as a paperback.

Posted in do I need to use a dragon | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

An AI Test Drive

Once upon a time, my father decided to retire. He was fifty years old and had been a successful businessman who earned that right. It was important …

An AI Test Drive
Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments

The ‘Do I Need to Use a Dragon?’ 99 cents Sale is Still Going!

Cover by Alison Hunt

Just 18 days left to get Do I Need to Use a Dragon? as a 99 cent eBook!

Posted in do I need to use a dragon | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Experience Needed to Write a ‘How To’?

While writing Do I Need to Use a Dragon?, I was wondering about the entire concept of ‘how to’ books.  I went over a lot of this already, but there’s one aspect that I didn’t really touch on.  That is the difference a ‘how to’ vs writing a fiction book.

Why do I think this is something to consider?  I’ve run into many people who talk about the rules of writing.  They make blogs and videos around the topic.  They go on about various aspects of writing and declare their advice.  These people dive into conversations with the air of a professional and stand their ground on their opinions.  Many learn a lot from from them or at least alter their thinking.  There’s just one catch:

Some of these people have never written a book.

It’s a weird type of person to run into.  They are so opinionated and knowledgeable about the aspects of writing that you are sure they’ve at least finished a manuscript.  Instead, they’re spending most of their time reading up on writing and discussing it.  Some will say that they’re still working on their first draft, which is fair.  Others will admit that they haven’t actually written anything, but want to some day.  That’s fair too, but it gets weird when this comes from someone who is giving advice as if they’ve gone through the process yet.  Maybe they hit a comfort zone of learning about writing and they get enough attention being an advisor instead of an author.  Yet, you would think they would at least write a ‘how to’ book.

And that’s where I start to wonder about Do I Need to Use a Dragon? and other books like it.  Now, I’ve written and self-published around 27 books.  So, I’ve put my advice into action.  If it’s a known author who wrote the book then you definitely feel like you’re reading tested advice.  Other times, I found that a person wrote a ‘how to’ book on writing after studying the topic or teaching it on the college level.  There weren’t any signs that they published, but they studied the works of others.  This isn’t bad, but it does mean that the advice comes from a different source.  They’re not showing what they found has worked for them, but noted trends and tricks in others.  So, how could one categorize these?

  1. Tested– I’m trying to think of a better word, but I’m stumped.  Basically, this kind of ‘how to’ book would come from someone who has put their advice into practice.  They are talking from personal experience, so there is an intimate knowledge with the material.  You may also have some bias here too.
  2. Observational– This type of ‘how to’ is from a person who hasn’t done the activity, but has researched it.  They have picked up on trends and tricks, which they are sharing with readers.  This isn’t to say it is lacking in strength, but it will have a more clinical and distant tone.  It also has less of a chance of personal bias unless the person sticks to a specific author.  These ‘how to’ authors are also more likely to criticize and use examples of what not to do than the previous person.
  3. I Read It On the Internet– A third type that I’ve run into a few times.  They haven’t written a book or done any real research.  Many times, this person is someone who wants to write, but never got out of the discussion phase.  They’ll spout whatever they see on the Internet such as ‘show don’t tell’ and ‘kill your babies’.  There won’t be any explanation to those too.  Yet, they’ll see an opportunity to write a book and self-publish it.  This will get them a little money and confidence.

Now, I really don’t have a problem with the first two.  They come at the ‘how to’ book from different angles.  The third one might work if the person is earnest and trying to help, but my experience is that they simply want to get on a soapbox.  Again, personal experience, so there could be some out there who have done their research.  Though, wouldn’t that put them in the second category?

It’s funny writing about this because I genuinely felt like I shouldn’t be writing a ‘how to’ book.  Do I Need to Use a Dragon? was a challenge because I had to write as myself instead of a character.  This resulted in me wondering if my experience as an author was enough to warrant such a book.  I definitely wasn’t in category #3 and didn’t research enough to be in #2.  Yet, there remains a stigma around self-published authors that they aren’t ‘real’ authors.  I still feel that imposter syndrome at times, which is why this book became a bigger challenge.  I had to write with confidence while wondering if I’m worth listening to.  Not a fun juggling act.

So, take a look at my mental meanderings for 99 cents on Amazon Kindle.

Posted in do I need to use a dragon | Tagged , , , , , , | 14 Comments

Moral Copying

Ciao, SEers! We’ve been discussing famous authors and their styles. So far, we discussed apps that compare our writing to famous authors (find that …

Moral Copying
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Happy National Ice Cream Day

I was going to do another animal post, but then I saw that it was one of the most important national holidays ever.  You can’t go wrong with ice cream . . . Well, you can if you’re lactose intolerant, but they make lactose-free brands too.  My first real job was at a Baskin Robbins in the summer of 1999 and I still scoop ice cream the same way.  So, I always have a fondness for this dessert.  Don’t indulge nearly as much as I used to, but I like to treat myself at times.  Probably take my son out for some today.  Hope everyone can get in on the fun even a little bit.  Of course, we need some funnies too.

Choco Taco!

I caught some of these videos on YouTube and Instagram.  They’re kind of fun to watch and show some amazing skill:

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Goal Post: At Least I Made It . . . Did I?

First, Do I Need to Use a Dragon? has sold about 18 copies.  Not bad.  It’s still 99 cents, so feel free to grab one for yourself.

Not really sure where else to go at this point in the post.  Darwin & the Beast Collector saw some progress, but not as much as I expected.  Various life stresses got in the way and I ended up needing a lot of rest.  Even now, I feel oddly off while writing this post on Friday night.  Got the doctor soon, but that’s to see how the blood pressure medication is going.  Let’s just jump into that.

The biggest surprise obstacle was that the medication I was on may have started battering me a bit.  Not as bad as the last one, but I was really feeling off last weekend.  Reached a point where I got myself tested for Covid just to be safe.  Negative, but the dizziness and bouts of fatigue continued.  It wasn’t even full fatigue.  There were just moments where I was at half energy and my brain was foggy.  This is the big reason why writing didn’t get as far as I had hoped.

There is a chance that the heat was doing some damage too.  I felt like this last summer when I had long Covid and it was hot out.  For all I know, I still have long Covid issues that come to the surface once the temperature and humidity reach a certain point.  Haven’t been sleeping the best even with the AC on too.  That could be sleep apnea getting worse, which I have to ask about.  You have the general exhaustion and medication effects as well, so who knows what in the world is going on.

As for my blood pressure, it’s definitely lower and was out of hypertension levels at several points.  In fact, the numbers only went really high again when I started feeling dizzy and tired.  Doesn’t make any sense since I read that this would happen if my numbers dropped too low and not when they shoot up.  I should just give up on figuring out my body and pray things pass since I can’t keep going to the doctor every week.  Hopefully I’m better in the morning and just needed some good sleep.

On the family front, my son started camp this week.  Not a lot to say about this, but he’s having fun.  Getting used to the camp and kids in his group.  They’re definitely more into sports than him, so he doesn’t know what to do sometimes.  He had a fun field trip to a bounce house place.  Think he made a new friend too.  Guess we’ll see how things go during week two.

Only other thing that happened this week was I finished this Lego set:

It was a lot of fun to put together.  Didn’t know what things were going to turn into until I was done too.  So, there was a good amount of surprise in this set.  Glad I managed to have enough energy to get it done.

I wish I had more to share, but it’s been a primary focus on health, work, and parenting.  Nothing exciting.  Just hoping that first category finally settles down because I’m getting tired of constant bouts of issues.  Trying to eat healthier, exercise, and I’m on meds, but I feel like I’m in worse shape at times.  Makes no sense unless it’s entirely stress doing some damage.  Fingers crossed that I can get that under control.

Goals of the week:

  1. Working.
  2. Parenting.
  3. Writing.
  4. Resting.
  5. Biking.
  6. Sleeping.
  7. Medicating.
  8. Reading.
Posted in Goal Posts | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Difference Between Editing ‘How To’ and Fiction

Google Image Search

Now, I mentioned that I used beta readers for Do I Need to Use a Dragon?, which is kind of rare for me.  After I added their suggestions and fixed up problem areas, I jumped in to do editing on my own.  Probably one of the worst author experiences of my entire, beleaguered life.

There was just something wrong.  I’ve edited my fantasy books all the time and never had this mix of doubt, confusion, and anguish.  It was on such a deep level that I had to take long breaks from continuing.  Nothing felt right or wrong, so I couldn’t be sure of what needed to be tightened up.  Mostly, I went back to the beta reader suggestions and looked for any repeated issues.  I went through fixing all of those and fine-tuning anything that had similar explanations.  It resulted in me jumping around the editing process with no clue when I would be done.  Felt more like I gave up than finished because my head was just spinning.  So, what happened?

The problem for me was that I was still trying to edit like I do with fantasy.  I go through to make sure the character voices are right and that their actions remain within the scope of their personality/beliefs.  That can’t be done in a ‘How To’ because the author is basically the only character.  So, I had to see if this advice still fit with my mentality, which should be a solid yes.  Not when you’re a person who ends up playing devil’s advocate with his own brain.  This comes from a lifetime of people telling you that you’re wrong or questioning everything you say and do.  One ends up doing the mental sabotage on their own to beat others to the punch.  That’s what started happening here.

I wasn’t even trying to make the entries better too.  I found that I was simply trying to mess with everything.  My editing focus turned into one where I was seeing how all of my opinions could be torn apart.  The doubt I usually had was being fed by this new sensation that couldn’t be stopped by saying ‘the character would do it’.  So, I had to keep walking away and rethinking my editing tactics.  This is why a ‘How To’ author needs a ton of confidence in their own beliefs.  Even the smallest amount of doubt can balloon out of control when you go looking for problems to fix.

This was a different experience from editing fantasy or my dystopia books.  As I said, I was looking at those stories through the eyes of the characters.  Consistency was key in terms of actions, voice, and decisions.  There was an unbreakable skeleton in there, which allowed me to edit without junking the whole story.  As long as it worked with the characters and plot, I could at least alter it to fit perfectly.  I had doubts, but they were pushed aside by enough confidence in the characters to keep them minimum.  The editing would be a big focus on plot holes too.  All of this came with a foundation of notes and sometimes previous volumes.

Do I Need to Use a Dragon? didn’t have the benefit of characters and prior volumes, which added to the difficulty.  I had to make sure I was keeping the general belief and idea even if I was changing some things.  Yet, I kept the entries fairly simple and easy to understand, so I was always skirting dangerously close to the core concept.  There was no solid shield to stop me from delving too deep and thinking that I needed to change the whole thing. It was like walking a tightrope over a pit of whirling blades.  Lean too far to one side and I’m chop meat.

Thankfully, I did make it through the editing and I support what I wrote.  It was an exhausting endeavor, but worth it.  I mean, I had to do at least one editing run to be sure of the quality.  Maybe this helps keep it feeling like a collection of blog posts made to be laidback and easily understood too.  Guess we’ll find out as time goes on.

As stated multiple times, Do I Need to Use a Dragon? is available on Amazon as a 99 cent eBook and a $20 paperback.  Enjoy.

Posted in do I need to use a dragon | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Writing Echoes: How to Avoid Echoes

Pixabay image Greetings, Storytellers. Diana here today to talk about echoes in our prose. Echoes aren’t always as obvious as the echo in my title, …

Writing Echoes: How to Avoid Echoes
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Poetry Day: Family vs Friends

Yahoo Image Search

(I’ve met people who say family are forever.  Others who say friends are the family we choose for ourselves.  Really depends on how you’re treated by either group.)

You have no choice in family
They are there when you are born
The kinsmen by your side
Or throwing pains along your path
Supporting you when they agree
Dragging you down when they do not
They are a fickle crew
That you can never truly leave

 

You have a choice in friends
As you meet them in the world
The kindred spirits by your side
The ones who battle by your side
Shoulders marked with tears
And fights over growing tastes
Many friends will come and go
Yet the truest will remain

 

Which of the two are closer?
The ones of blood or bond
A simple question asked through time
An answer different for each asker

Posted in Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments