How NOT to Help Your Jewish Friends on Yom Kippur

tomorrow-atone-barely-yom-kippur-ecard-someecards

Well technically today.

This is the Day of Fasting for Jews where we don’t eat from sundown to the following sundown.  It’s an act of atonement for the sins we did all year.  You might see a lot about this or nothing depending on how many Jews you know.  Some may even tell you how to help them get to the end.  Well here’s what NOT to do:

(Special nod to John W. Howell who does lists like this every week. Check out his blog HERE.)

  • Do NOT visit them while eating a juicy hamburger.  It might be a fun joke that you can all laugh about later.  Unfortunately, you explained lent and not eating meat on Fridays to this friend.  You thought we were asking what your favorite meat dishes were to throw you a party?  Guess who will be out for a weekly revenge.  Be thankful nobody has invented a way to send aromas over the phone.
Damn right

Damn right

  • Do NOT repeatedly ask through text or phone calls if it’s time for your Jewish friends to eat.  That’s worse than telemarketers, including the ones that are trying to sell door-to-door grocery delivery.  At some point, you’ll be messing with a hungry person that isn’t thinking straight.  Be afraid of what photographic responses you will get.
Is that a Jewish sin?

Is that a Jewish sin?

  • If your college roommate is Jewish and trying to fast, do NOT invite the most hated person in the dorm to stop by.  Then give him a slice of pizza to eat while he waits in the room for you to get back from the bathroom.  Also do NOT tell him to stand next to check out the game your fasting roommate is playing as a distraction.  This isn’t for your sake or the invitee’s sake.  Just remember that your roommate is probably as poor as you and can’t afford to replace the window he/she inevitably throws the innocent jackass out of.
Yup

Yup

  • If your spouse is Jewish and you aren’t, do NOT indulge in your own eating in front of them.  No popcorn once the sun goes down or coming into their room of seclusion reeking of freshly made lunch.  The only time to do this is if you’re eating something they hate the smell of.  Go ahead then because the stench might help them make it another hour.
I only have an iPhone 4, so I'm good

I only have an iPhone 4, so I’m good

  • Do NOT try to work with your Jewish friends to play an upcoming BBQ or pot luck dinner.  The conversation will eventually be drowned out by the sound of a rumbling stomach and muttering about the pros of cannibalism.  Any samples you may have brought of what you wish to serve will not be welcomed with open mouths.
Her hair looks like cotton candy

Her hair looks like cotton candy

  • Do NOT invite your Jewish friends to play online games that revolve around food.  It might sound like a good idea at the time because it’s a distraction.  Yet how long before the glistening graphics look delicious and they start licking their phones.  Then they accidentally set off the camera and a picture that only a dentist would find exciting ends up on Facebook.
This is disturbingly true

This is disturbingly true

  • If you are the non-Jewish spouse of a fasting Jew and help by watching the kids, do NOT let them routinely rush to the hungry parent for play time.  It doesn’t matter if you found something interesting on YouTube.  The tantrums that ensue may end up being a distraction to some, but making them stop will be exhausting.  Every bit of lost energy and bursts of exertion is another step toward a grumpy adult that will attack the first food-like substance they find.  This may include whatever the pet is eating . . . or even the pet.

In conclusion:

yomkippur

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Author Spotlight – Elaine Cougler

aurorajeanalexander's avatarWriter's Treasure Chest

Introduction

Elaine_CouglerBorn and raised in the heart of Southwestern Ontario’s dairy country, Elaine is a graduate of Western University and a former high school teacher. She taught French, English and Computer Studies at various schools across the province. Writing is Elaine’s pleasure and her obsession. She has written two books of family memories, a cookbook, a children’s book, and her two historical novels: The Loyalist’s Wife, which was published in June of 2013, and the sequel, The Loyalist’s Luck, launched in October, 2014. She is currently working on the third in the Loyalist trilogy, The Loyalist Legacy. The Loyalist’s Wife was shortlisted in the Inspire! Toronto International Book Fair’s Self-Publishing Awards. A lover of people and especially writers, Elaine is the winner of the 2014 WCDR Pay It Forward scholarship and delights in speaking to groups large and small. Her teaching skills make her a natural at…

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Teaser Tuesday: A Blossoming . . . Something

This is the rest of the opening for Crossing Bedlam, which introduces you to Lloyd Tenay and his first meeting with Cassidy.  Just to warn you, there is some violence and cursing.  As far as the image goes, I don’t have anything that works with these characters yet.

Yahoo Image Search

Yahoo Image Search

“What the fuck happened!?” Cassidy shouts as she opens the door and steps on a blood-oozing finger.

Four bodies are sprawled on the floor and the fifth is propped against the exit, the door slightly open. Body parts are scattered about, some of them clearly having been removed with a blade and others possibly being torn or bitten off. Two of the unattached hands are holding steak knives, but they are surprisingly clean of blood. Cassidy cannot see any other weapons, so she assumes the other three either fought with their fists or tried to escape. The carnage is so widespread that she cannot figure out what happened and senses that there is touch of playfulness to the mess. All Cassidy knows for sure is that she has gone from having six hardened criminals on her side to having only one.

Admiring his handiwork, the chuckling escapee no longer has his orange shirt, so his skin is covered in blood. Tall and lanky, the man picks a tooth out of his shock of ebony hair and flicks it over his shoulder. He turns slowly with his hands up to show off his collection of scars, including one on his stomach that is shaped like a koi. Juggling the combat knife he stole off a guard during their escape, the man randomly pauses to aim it at Cassidy. He laughs whenever her hand goes for the handgun, but never draws the weapon. Tossing the blade onto a chair, the man wiggles his fingers and licks his lips like a proud predator.

“I’ll admit that I don’t play well with others,” he replies, nudging a gutted leg with his bare foot. He shifts the limb out of his way and takes a few steps closer to the young woman. “Always been a solo act. At least I was before I got locked up and the country went to hell. Not much news in Rikers, so I’m surprised the place is still standing. You’d think with the global blockade, DC being nuked, and humans being humans that only ashes would be left. That’s really the only reason you’re still alive. I need you to tell me what this new world is like because I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

“You just killed five people and ruined my plans. Not to mention I can’t get back my deposit on this thing with blood and body parts everywhere,” Cassidy answers, her eyes never breaking away from the cold stare of the man. She wracks her brain for information on the people she broke out and her mouth goes dry when she realizes who she is facing. “You’re Lloyd Tenay. I was a teenager when you were big news. Killed fifteen men and women in five states over the course of two years. That’s not counting the ones you claimed, but couldn’t confirm. You were captured in the Bronx Zoo and the trial took only a week because you pled guilty. My teacher had us write a paper on the events. I’m surprised they didn’t kill you or give you the death penalty.”

“First of all, I really wanted to see the baboons,” Lloyd says with a relaxed sigh. He goes to move the dead body from the doorway and opens the entrance to enjoy the breeze. “Second of all, I’m not going to share since you’re playing games. Besides, this isn’t the proper time for an info dump. You could lose the audience before the fun stuff.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Never mind.”

Cassidy rubs her eyes and struggles to hold off a migraine, the trading cost of medicine briefly running through her mind. “I can’t walk away from this empty-handed, so you’re my only prize. Can’t believe I’m going to say this to a serial killer, but I’ve dealt with worse. You’ll find out what that means if you stay with me and live long enough. Now please tell me you had a good reason for killing the others.”

“Well, the big guy over there, there, and there came at me with a knife. Seems he forgot why I was given my own cellblock, which I thank you for getting me out of,” Lloyd explains while raising his leg and poking at the device on his ankle. One of the lights flickers and his finger comes away with flecks of metal on the nail. “After the collapse, the guards enjoyed . . . feeding troublesome prisoners to me, so I’ve kept in killing shape. Killed Captain Chubby and that panicked the others. One attacked, the others tried to run, and I fell into old habits. Now, would you explain why a child rapist was on your team?”

“Decoy and expendable resource,” Cassidy swiftly answers, drawing a wire-covered rectangle from her pocket. She flicks a switch on the side and the bulb at the front turns bright red. “I’m going to remind you that this will set off the bomb on your ankle. It might not be enough to kill you, but how far do you think you can get with one leg?”

“Ruthless and cold. I like it. Still, I don’t think you can do what you promise.”

The lanky serial killer lunges forward and grabs the young woman by the wrist. He coils his leg around hers while placing his thumb on the detonator’s trigger. They remain quiet and motionless for several minutes, neither wanting to give an inch or take a step. Lloyd yawns and uses his free hand to tickle the side of Cassidy’s neck, but she never blinks. Bored with the standoff, the serial killer hops them back to the doorway where he can enjoy the wind. He spies a few people outside and is confused at how they are wearing clothes that are fairly clean. Gazing at his surroundings for the first time, Lloyd realizes that the decimated landscape that he always dreamed of is nothing more than a fantasy. The brief relaxing of his muscles is enough for Cassidy to free her leg and wrest control of the detonator, but there is no resistance from the black-haired man.

“Go ahead and hit the button. This place isn’t the chaotic playhouse that I wished for. Make my end quick,” Lloyd dramatically states, falling on his knees and holding up his arms. With a laugh, he rolls forward and does a handstand against the wall, his legs crossed to avoid hitting the overhead compartment. “On the other hand, you’re holding a remote control with junk welded to it. This ankle bomb is nothing more than a ball gag covered in blinking Christmas lights. You put these on us rather quickly and had us running, but there’s no way all of us would fall for this once we stopped.”

“You forgot another part of the trick,” Cassidy says before pressing the remote button. A pop makes Lloyd tumble onto his side, but only a few wisps of smoke come out of the rubber ball. “And I’m going to hurt the guy who sold me these things. Waterproof and shock resistant my ass. So, what are you going to do, Mr. Tenay?”

“Call me Lloyd. I’d say your name, but I’m not able to read the exposition parts,” the serial killer answers, earning himself a dumbfounded look. He shrugs and hops to his feet with a crooked smile. “Never mind. As I said before, I need someone to explain things to me and I’m now curious as to what you have planned. Busting out a person like me isn’t done for giggles. At least not unless you’re a groupie, but that wouldn’t explain the others. Amazing how they smell better now that they’re dead.”

“You haven’t earned my trust.”

“Then I’ll kill you now and take another guide.”

“Now who’s being fickle?”

“I’m simply getting bored with you.”

Darting forward, Cassidy comes at Lloyd with a stun gun in her left hand. He catches her wrist and keeps the weapon a few inches away from his skin. The crackle of electricity makes the man sweat, the shorter woman surprisingly strong for her size. Hidden by the heavy coat, he is sure she has toned muscles and several scars from a decade of fighting. Instead of being afraid of the stubborn survivor, he sees her as a challenge and scoops up his knife to press it against her throat. Lloyd opens his mouth to speak when he hears another crackling and a burst of pain runs through his body, the sensation starting in his groin.

“I prefer my right hand,” Cassidy states while shaking the stun gun in her other hand. She moves away as Lloyd falls to his knees, drool falling from his mouth. “Have any other threats or jokes, Mr. Tenay?”

“My clam finder is numb,” the killer whimpers before laughing so hard that he cries.

The echoing noise is so irritating that the young woman uses her remaining stun gun to knock him out. “Finally have some quiet around here. Now what the fuck am I going to do, mom?

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What If Your Hero is a Pessimist?

Rorschach from Watchmen

Rorschach from Watchmen

I’m not 100% sure Rorschach is the best example.  He might be more cynical than pessimistic, but it’s been a while since I saw the movie or read the graphic novel.  I asked a friend if he knew of a pessimistic hero and this is what we came up with.  Rorschach might be more cynical and jaded than ‘everything is hopeless’.  Then again, that might be too extreme.  Pessimism is to look on the bad side of things and I believe he does mention or hint at what they’re doing is an unending path.

Anyway, this makes me wonder if you can have a pessimistic hero.  One who is still pushing ahead or possibly being dragged along.  They feel like they’re going to lose the battle or never find what they’re looking forward.  Every cloud will rain and there’s nothing you can do about it, so stop smiling.  The glass is half empty and I’m pretty sure that isn’t water.  Just a miserable, negative ray of gloom.

I can see this mentality wearing on a reader and author a lot.  To keep a person like this throughout a book would cause some friction because you’d be hard pressed to believe others would deal with them.  Even worse if the story ends and they’re still claiming things are bad.  So this is a good starting point for a character evolution or even the ending for an optimistic hero.  Though you’d have to figure out why a pessimist would try to do something they either hated or didn’t believe in.  Again, this is the very watered down and extreme type of pessimism that I’m working with.  Plenty of people have negative outlooks and still carry on because that’s what you do.

An interesting aspect to this character type and his/her partner the Optimistic Hero is audience reaction.  People love to see a smiling, shiny hero get the positive outlook knocked out of them.  I’ve seen people who thoroughly enjoy this character arc and get angry if the hero maintains their original optimism.  Now I don’t hear as many people cheering when the Pessimistic Hero is moved to the middle or other side.  Perhaps if he’s connected to the audience and his happy outlook is seen as a reward, you’ll get a big reaction.  The odd thing is that many will want the story to continue so this new positive mentality gets crushed.  I should probably stop spending time on Internet comment sections, but it does seem like people enjoy to see their heroes fall into the darkness.  Which is where the pessimistic hero starts.

Anyway, are there any pessimistic/negative heroes that you can think of?  What made you love or hate them?

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Cover Reveal: Pearseus, Vigil

Check out this awesome cover redesign!

Nicholas C. Rossis's avatarNicholas C. Rossis

Continuing the redesign of my book covers, it is now Vigil’s turn to benefit from Alexios Saskalidis’ treatment. You may have already noticed the updated book cover on the right for Pearseus: Vigil, the third book in my epic fantasy series, Pearseus. Well, here it is in all its glory. For those who have read the story, the background represents the material that the suits worn by Lehmor and the rest of his warriors are made of.

From the blog of Nicholas C. Rossis, author of science fiction, the Pearseus epic fantasy series and children's books Click to buy on Amazon

As always, I’ll celebrate by giving away free copies to anyone who wishes to find out what happens next! Just leave a comment asking for it, and I’ll get right on it.

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Goals and . . . How Did That Happen?

So I woke up to this for The Merchant of Nevra Coil:

 

  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #7,354 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
    • #87 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Action & Adventure > Fantasy
    • #98 in Books > Literature & Fiction > Action & Adventure > Fantasy
    • #165 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Science Fiction & Fantasy > Fantasy > Sword & Sorcery

This means Legends of Windemere is 8 for 8 on getting onto the Top 100 lists.  So I can relax a bit . . . except that the kid is awake.  Also the Giants play today.  Wife is looking at me funny for looking through several Final Fantasy victory themes to find the one I want for this.  On the plus side, I woke up to the above.

Before I get into other things, I’m going to explain why I’m obsessed with this specific milestone.  Back when I published Beginning of a Hero, there were several things that I was told.  One was that first time indie authors don’t sell a lot of books and my first attempt will be a failure.  Another was that 500 sales is a moderate success in the indie world and it may take a year to do so.  Also the, ‘you really want to write in present tense third person’?  Then there were the people saying I shouldn’t do it, I’m wasting my time, too much risky, etc.  You see, I’ve never really had 100% support outside of the computer because people have always felt like they had to play Devil’s Advocate with me.  I’m getting to the point here because this is what happened to my first book:

It sold 1,000 copies in a little over a month and was dancing around the Top 100 Fantasy lists.  This was before I knew how to get on Sword & Sorcery, which was a lot smaller at that time.  Before I understood marketing or even had a lot of sites to use.  The method was I’d see or hear about one, see the price, and jump in if I could because I had maybe a $100 advertising budget back then.  To this day, I have no idea what caused this and always wonder if it was a fluke.  So, getting another book on the lists kind of acts like a personal justification and a tangible victory that I can show to those who are still on the fence about me doing this.  Even after nearly 3 years at this full-time, I still feel like I’m trying to prove myself and the day I can afford a non-Barbie mansion with my royalties is still a long ways off . . . . like never because that’s too many rooms to dust.

So what else is going on?  I’m making my way through Crossing Bedlam and hope to finish it by the end of the month.  Got Nebraska, Wyoming, Utah (2 chapters), Nevada (2 chapters), and California left.  The weekly holidays and annoying weather have gotten in the way a bit.  I do enjoy writing these characters and will do the violent introduction of Lloyd Tenay on Tuesday.  Not sure when I’ll release it or what to do prior to that.  My alpha reader is 2 books behind on Legends of Windemere and I won’t be doing my own read through until November or December.  Maybe I’ll do a January release to avoid tripping over another book too much.  Still, it’s a tough thing to do since this is a full novel and not a short story like Ichabod Brooks.  Need to think up another story for him next summer, but I’ve got time.

A final note:

This Wednesday is YOM KIPPUR

That’s the Jewish day of fasting, which means I’ll be hungry and getting quiet as the day moves on.  My tradition is to stay in my room and play an engrossing video game.  This year is God of War 1 and possibly 2.  So I’m going to be moving my Wednesday post to another spot that will probably be in November.  The subject was writing action scenes that involve a lot of jumping, leaping, and acrobatics.  Too energetic for me and Kratos isn’t the type to wall run.  I’d play Prince of Persia, but my coordination will be a mess by late afternoon.  Odd things may get said in comments and tweets though.

So, what’s the targets?

  1. Write at least 3 chapters of Crossing Bedlam.  Probably 4 because I don’t want to stop halfway through Utah.
  2. Prepare myself for Yom Kippur and hope things run smoothly.
  3. Make it through Wednesday, which isn’t as hard as one thinks.  Just need people to keep the kid entertained because he’s an energy drainer.
  4. Watch the Giants today.
  5. Bike, eat on non-Wednesdays, sleep, and all the parent stuff that comes up.
  6. Curse at Facebook for being a pain.
  7. Post the original music video I wanted to use below.

 

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Author Spotlight – Joshua Robertson

aurorajeanalexander's avatarWriter's Treasure Chest

The_Dragon_TempestThe Dragon Tempest offers a collection of short stories in a variety of fantasy genres, including dark, light, adventure, and epic. Creatures from all worlds abound: dragons, angels, centaurs, witches, gods and goddesses, and those lurking below the water’s surface. Whether you’re moved by tales of battle and bloodshed, suspense, humor, or enlightenment, The Dragon Tempest will leave you craving more from each author. Such a diversity of great fantasy tales to enjoy will leave no room for disappointment. 

 

Judges: 

Allison D. Reid

KJ Hawkins

D.B. Mauldin

Joshua Robertson

 

1st Place Winners

Christine King

Katie Roxberry

Winter Bayne

Jane Dougherty

Wilson F. Engel, III

 

2nd Place Winners

Christine Haggerty

Randall Lemon

Deborah Jean Anderson

J. Abram Barneck

Louise Findlay

 

3rd Place Winners

Samuel Milner

Karen Brown

 

Ebook Buy Links: 

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Dragon-Tempest-Fantasy-Adventure-Anthology-ebook/dp/B0105JE02O/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1436399998&sr=1-1&keywords=the+dragon+tempest+tales+of+fantasy+%26+adventure 

Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/552304 

Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/dragon-tempest-tales-fantasy/id1009713116?mt=11 

Barnes &…

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Fifty Shades of Truth by Josef – Presented by FAEBOOKS.CO.UK

Karen's avatarMy train of thoughts on...

FaeBooks.co.uk presents…
a dark journey into the Light
By Josef

Genre: Adult/Erotic
Age range: 18years +
Approx. Length: 174 pages.
Publication Date: June 7, 2015.
Publisher: Fontaine Publishing Group.

Book Description:

This is a wonderfully entertaining, sometimes humorous, sometimes shocking, sometimes challenging, but always entertaining account of this man’s life. Many other men can only fantasize about what he has experienced. Could the variety and extent of his sexual world really belong to one man? How did he keep this side of his life secret? What trigger­points in his life can explain his behaviour?

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COVER REVEAL – I AM ATLAS

lizgavin's avatarLiz Gavins Blog

Title: I Am Atlas
Book: 1
Series: The Playing God Series
Author: Ella Emerson
Cover Designer: Redbird Designs
Publisher: Booktrope

Blurb:

 atlas
Powerful, wealthy, wildly handsome
Atlas has it all: successful company, stunning penthouse, and all the
women and fun he could want. But when he meets the brilliant,
graceful and mesmerizing Gwen, he is thunderstruck and wants to go to
great lengths to have her, even if it means breaking his own rules
and baring his secret soul.
 
When his livelihood is threatened by a
competing rival, he must prepare for a corporate battle. But, with
Gwen at his side he knows he will not lose.
 
But, what if she isn’t who he thought
she was? What if nothing is as it seems?
 
Will Atlas lose everything?
How far is one man willing to go for
the woman he loves?  

About The Author:

Ella Emerson…

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…an Author’s version of ‘IF’… with acknowledgements to Rudyard Kipling…

Seumas Gallacher's avatarSeumas Gallacher

‘IF’ FOR WRITERS

If you can use your Mac when all about you

Is Starbucks’ noise and din;

If you can get it on the page,

Then you’re on your way to win;

A first draft, then a second,

And edit as you go,

With no adverbs, ‘ands’ or ‘buts’,

Just let the phrasing flow;

If you can visualise-and not be too distracted;

If you can make the plot arc strong,

No editorial triumph nor disaster

With sentence, short or long;

If you can read a bad review,

And not cry nor sob nor weep,

Then throw it in the bin;

For sure, you’ve earned your sleep;

If you can take rejection slips

And make a pile a mountain high;

Then start again on query letters,

With not a single, doleful sigh;

If you can read your novels’ rankings

And accept them,  high or low

With a massive pinch of…

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