Dungeons & Dragons Potions

This has been something I’ve thought about for years.  It stems from the abuse of potions we did in our early D&D games.  We used them for everything without a second thought because they were easy to find.  A character who will be in a much later series is going to have an addiction to potions too.  He’ll do anything for one even though the effect isn’t as strong as it would be on someone who uses them casually.  Still, what kind of signs are there for such a character?

1. The adventuring party has been attacked by a strange-looking dragon that appeared out of thin air.  The creature doesn’t breathe fire or have scales.  It has six legs that are bizarrely thin too.  Not to mention the long, sword-like nose it keeps jabbing at people with.  In fact, the dragon looks like a gigantic mosquito and your arm does have an itchy bump.
2. The group caster keeps hitting you with heat spells to make you sweat.  Then the healer takes your clothes, wrings them out, and fills several empty bottles.  You aren’t sure what they’re really up to, but they give you a cut of the profits.  Not to mention your stylish enchanted suit of wool armor.  One of these days, you’ll figure out what the enchantment actually is.
3. You have so many bottles strapped to your clothing that you are terrified to run or ride a horse.  All you need is one accident and two of your precious potions will spill.  Of less concern is the fact that the liquids will mix and probably explode along with your entire torso.  Not to worry since you have a regeneration potion that your sure will splatter into your mouth before you die.
4. For the last time, none of the combos at the Pheasant Factory come with a potion.  It’s water, ale, soda, or tea.  The closest thing they have to a potion is coffee, but you hate caffeine.
5. You are the one person in the world who can discern the age, potency, creator’s gender, and region the bottle was made in from one taste of a potion.  In contrast, you routinely get food poisoning from eating berries that have gone bad.  Not just one, but handfuls without a second thought.
6. The adventuring party has made a rule that you can only get a potion when you truly need one.  To solve this problem, you have become a voracious reader.  Every tome is grabbed and the pages are turned in such a way that you get a paper cut every time.  It takes a while for you to get hurt enough for a healing potion, but you swear it is worth and that somebody should do something about paper being sharper than the paladin’s sword.
7. You named your children: Healing Potion, Strength Potion, Speed Potion, Invisibility Potion, Levitation Potion, and Kimmy.  The weirdest part is that you don’t have any children.