7 Signs You Have a Potion Addiction

Dungeons & Dragons Potions

Dungeons & Dragons Potions

This has been something I’ve thought about for years.  It stems from the abuse of potions we did in our early D&D games.  We used them for everything without a second thought because they were easy to find.  A character who will be in a much later series is going to have an addiction to potions too.  He’ll do anything for one even though the effect isn’t as strong as it would be on someone who uses them casually.  Still, what kind of signs are there for such a character?

  1. The adventuring party has been attacked by a strange-looking dragon that appeared out of thin air.  The creature doesn’t breathe fire or have scales.  It has six legs that are bizarrely thin too.  Not to mention the long, sword-like nose it keeps jabbing at people with.  In fact, the dragon looks like a gigantic mosquito and your arm does have an itchy bump.
  2. The group caster keeps hitting you with heat spells to make you sweat.  Then the healer takes your clothes, wrings them out, and fills several empty bottles.  You aren’t sure what they’re really up to, but they give you a cut of the profits.  Not to mention your stylish enchanted suit of wool armor.  One of these days, you’ll figure out what the enchantment actually is.
  3. You have so many bottles strapped to your clothing that you are terrified to run or ride a horse.  All you need is one accident and two of your precious potions will spill.  Of less concern is the fact that the liquids will mix and probably explode along with your entire torso.  Not to worry since you have a regeneration potion that your sure will splatter into your mouth before you die.
  4. For the last time, none of the combos at the Pheasant Factory come with a potion.  It’s water, ale, soda, or tea.  The closest thing they have to a potion is coffee, but you hate caffeine.
  5. You are the one person in the world who can discern the age, potency, creator’s gender, and region the bottle was made in from one taste of a potion.  In contrast, you routinely get food poisoning from eating berries that have gone bad.  Not just one, but handfuls without a second thought.
  6. The adventuring party has made a rule that you can only get a potion when you truly need one.  To solve this problem, you have become a voracious reader.  Every tome is grabbed and the pages are turned in such a way that you get a paper cut every time.  It takes a while for you to get hurt enough for a healing potion, but you swear it is worth and that somebody should do something about paper being sharper than the paladin’s sword.
  7. You named your children: Healing Potion, Strength Potion, Speed Potion, Invisibility Potion, Levitation Potion, and Kimmy.  The weirdest part is that you don’t have any children.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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29 Responses to 7 Signs You Have a Potion Addiction

  1. Just make it sweet, I’ll be addicted :/

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  2. Cool idea for a fantasy addiction. WordPress is doing strange things to me today, I’m reading on an app. Hope you get my comment.

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    • Got it. WordPress stopped working on my phone long ago. Today, FB is being strange with me not seeing any of the messenger stuff.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I just posted about it along with a bunch of other things. Sometimes one of the WordPress gurus will pick it up from tags and offer some advice. I think an addicted character could be really interesting, potions are a good plan. Have you seen the Jackie Chan movie about the drunken immortal? He has to keep drinking wine or perish. Might be useful research.

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      • The Forbidden Kingdom. I really liked that movie and have it somewhere around here. Unless you’re talking about the Legend of Drunken Master, which I’ve seen and have yet to buy. The trick is going to be making the character still effective even with this issue. It’s a series where each of the heroes has some problem, so they aren’t taken very seriously.

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      • Sounds like an idea with merit.

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  3. Another tour de force. Laugh out loud funny. Thanks

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  4. L. Marie says:

    Ha ha! Love all of these, especially the clothes being wrung out and gaining potions that way. Hee hee! This is a great addiction!

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    • Definitely strikes a comical note here. I’m still deciding on how silly to make it in a book. Maybe 50/50. Some silly things happen to the character, but there are serious moments at times.

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  5. Lots of hallucinations there. I wonder if the person is drinking the potions they think they are drinking!

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  6. I used to play two computer game, The Elder Scrolls: Morrowwind and The Elder Scrols: Oblivion, I’d end up with so many potions that I would laugh and wonder how I was carrying so many. I’d also leave lots of them in the streets of towns, no one ever took them and I’d have them if I needed them, though by the time I got back to that town I’d have twice as many as I had left.

    Your story sounds like an interesting idea, I look forward to hearing more about it in time.

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  7. Helen Jones says:

    I enjoyed point 7 especially ;-D

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