This is part 2 of possibly 2. Last week I talked about the benefits of writing with children. Today, I discuss the flip-side and make all of the non-parent writers breathe a sigh of relief that they don’t have to deal with this. To make this authentic, I’m writing this while my son screams and cries a few feet away. He refuses dinner and demands a cupcake? Then he goes to bed hungry. Seriously, he only wants to eat cupcakes these days.
- Ink Reloads– The new ink cartridges for children are very expensive. When you’re done writing with a child and they’re out of ink, it’s better to throw them out and buy a new one.
- Squirming– The little guys and gals do not stay still when you’re writing. Everything comes out like drunken cursive.
- Can’t Fit in Pocket– They aren’t the most portable things when you need to write on the go. The notepad models run away and the pen models leak all over the place.
What? Wrong type of writing with children? Fine.
- Theft– Children want what you have. This ranges from your notebook to your laptop to that Chinese hot pepper on your plate (raises hand in guilt). If you leave your notebook and pen in reach, you’re coming back to doodles. My son once got his hands on the manuscript for Family of the Tri-Rune. I found drawings on the reverse side of ten pages. I’m lucky that he knows not to draw on something with words on it, but you are probably not that lucky.
- Caterwauling– Children scream, cry, yell, and make noise. Try writing a romance scene with a tantrum erupting a few feet away. Try writing this blog post with an epic screaming fit in the next room that includes a bathtub full of water. Glad that bathroom can only fit one adult and he told me to get out. Anyway, your focus is going to be shattering and splintered on a routine basis. Accept this as part of the payoff for having sex.
- Editing!– Leave your laptop unattended when you need a drink, some food, or the bathroom. Remember to save before leaving because you’re about to return to aeaihfdoiafeaubvaejneateahufoaeyfaui. Little fingers will find your laptop and add their own twist to your manuscript.
- Imitation Distraction– Occasionally, your child might want to set up something that looks like a computer. They’ll take the seat next to you or across from you. Then they start typing away or playing the keyboard if that’s what they think you’re doing. It’s an adorable event that will suck away an hour before you realize it. They use their cuteness to full effectiveness.
- Stealing Snacks– A writer needs a drink and a snack on hand in case they start running out of energy. Children love drinks and snacks. They will get your drinks and snacks. If you hide it, they will simply wait for you to reveal the location. They’re natural scavengers that cannot be tamed.
Legends of Windemere 
I hear you on all 5. The joys!
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I wonder if a private office would help, but my son knocks on the bathroom door going ‘Daddy! Are you in there?’. So, it wouldn’t help me.
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Ah, the joys of little ones 😉
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Always. Wouldn’t trade it for the world. Maybe for an hour of peace, but not the world.
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I feel your pain. My favorite is the every-five-minutes-like-clockwork “mommy.”… “mommy.”… “mommy.” “What!” “I just saw a commercial for…___” to which I’m thinking “I don’t care. why are you in here?”
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I’m glad my son watches On-Demand shows that lack commercials. That and he’s entertained by an empty tissue box if need be.
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haha my daughte’rs too old to be entertained by empty boxes anymore (she’s 9) -_- so usually the questions revolve around which websites she’s allowed to go to, commercials (or awesome things she saw on netflix) and if she’s allowed to have a snack an hour before lunch. lol
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Looking forward to that stage. I should invest in a panic room to work out of.
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I’m already building my panic room for puberty. I’m already scared out of my wits!
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Yikes. Don’t want to even think of that.
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I liked this! But even these cons seem more like pros to me! I can’t wait to be a Mommy Writer! 😉
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You say that now, but wait for when you’re trying to reach a deadline or a goal. You’ll be eyeing a roll of duct tape and a nearby chair in no time. 😉
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LOL! Isn’t there a lesser messy solution than duct tape? It sticks to everything and can’t be washed out! (It works pretty good for patching boots and pants, though.)
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Not with the same reliability.
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Hahaha! Have you tried baling twine? It is pretty durable, and comes in a variety of colors, blue, green, and my favorite, rust! 😉
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Sounds like it would take too long to tie the kid down, but I can give it a shot.
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All you’ll need to do is tie on end around the toddler’s ankle and the other end to the leg of the table (maybe give him some snacks) and he won’t be going anywhere!
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Or he’ll go running off with the table attached. Toddlers are very ingenious.
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Didn’t figure that one in. Hmm, I guess we’ll have to stick with the duct tape after all. 😉
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Yup. Keep it around the clothes, so you don’t pull out hair when releasing the child.
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Another good point! Maybe you should write a book on parenting!
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Duct Tape: A Parent’s Secret Weapon. All complaints should be directed to Briana Vedsted, who suggested this idea. 😉
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Hahaha! Okay, okay! I give up!
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A tiny finger touched my keyboard once and the entire screen changed to something I had never seen before. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get out of it. I had to restart the computer. Then I tried every key and combination of keys I could imagine, but have never been able to make that happen again. Forever an unsolved mystery… 🙂
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It’s like they’re natural hackers, but they don’t know what they’re doing. So, they can only destroy.
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You lucky duck, your son leaves the words alone? When the kid was little, he would scribble on anything that remotely resembled paper or a flat surface! Library books had to be on the top shelves with the breakables, and I still have a cookbook that has his particular brand of art. I’m presenting it to his wife either as a funny wedding gift or baby shower gift … provided we live through puberty, that is! 🙂
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You’ll be fine when he hits puberty. The son is the one you have to worry about. 😀
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Padded room – padlocks – own food & water supply and regular exercise breaks. Yup… he’ll survive! 🙂
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Don’t forget the Xbox whatever.
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Oh yeah, that and the phone and the tablet and the ds … I bless my stars that he knows how to be social and interact with humans in addition to the electronic devices.
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I wouldn’t give him the phone unsupervised at that age. Maybe let him use it for an hour.
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AWWE. Daddy needs a sippy and a nappy.
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Rum?
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Indeed
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Yay! That’s why you’re my best friend. 😀
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And other shite too!
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An endless list of reasons. Half of them are squirrel-related.
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And the rest are cupcakes
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With one alpaca.
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And a tiger
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I like the cuddly tiger. Though the fangs and claws pose a problem.
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Lakota is a tiger
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I think I have a new favorite character.
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Fizzzzzzle
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We’ll have to trade. I’ll throw in Fritz for Digger.
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Sounds good to me. What on earth are you reading?
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Lately, take out menus. It’s been a rough week in terms of time and technology.
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I just blogged on Technology lol
When my 1st Daughter my Mum bought Dawn and I this picture and it read:
“If I like it – It’s mine
If it’s in my Hands – it’s mine
If it looks like mine – it’s mine
if I think it’s mine – it’s mine
Everything else is MINE too”
We laughed when we got it…
,,,we don’t now, Because it is SOOOO True..lol
Kids,A blessing
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It really is true. Unless it’s vegetables and then it’s in the garbage.
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ha ha
Yup, line for line, all true 🙂
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I am Ellespeth, the cupcake fairy. Cupcakes serve a real purpose in life. They are challenging. Icing first? Cake first? Save for later? Many choices 😦 I have placed a mini cupcake on your little one’s breakfast plate. One never out grows that cupcake phase – some of us just stop telling people how much we adore them and go into hiding.
Ellespeth
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Cupcakes are a major part of his diet. Though, we just learned that he doesn’t like strawberry.
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Oh dear. Picky over cupcakes cannot be seen as a good thing. Shred up some zucchini in the batter one time – very yummy. He can pass me any strawberry cupcakes he’s offered. 😛
Ellespeth
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Zucchini wouldn’t work. We go store bought too. I can’t bake.
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I have realized over the past, oh almost 10yrs, that although summer vacation for the kiddo means I am the least productive. It doesn’t get much better
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That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m thinking summer camp. I’m also training myself to work at night and take advantage of needing only 5-6 hours sleep.
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Thats pretty much what I’m working now. At least attempting to. I stay up till about 3 in the morning sometimes getting 4, 5k, or 0 words done.
Summer camp is a good option, those prices tend to be high for what income comes into this house
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Maybe I’ll ship him off to his grandparents when the time comes.
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you can ship mine off with him 😉 I’ll send her to military school just to shake things up maybe 😀
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Think she’ll like the haircut?
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that’d be the fun part. I’d want to give her the good ol’ buzz myself. lol. *evil laugh*
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Careful. Our kids pick our retirement homes when the time comes. 😉
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She’ll have to catch me first 😀 I’m going on the run the moment I regain my sanity when she’s an adult
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We can regain our sanity when they grow up?
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I write fiction so I can only hope one day it turns to reality. *crosses finger*
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Ahahah! This one is even better! Well done. I’m “lucky” as you are if not a notch more….Maya tried to do grammar exercises this morning…she hasn’t learned yet not to write on written pages!!!
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I’m not sure how my son learned it. I think from being yelled at for approaching books with markers.
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Now speaking of fantasy terms, mine is immune to yelling!
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Maybe I can wait a few years to experience this…;
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They do have their own rewards. For example, you have an excuse to buy a lot of cool toys for ‘them’.
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LOL too funny! I do not have children…but I have a black lab that thinks he is a baby and a stuck up cat that demands attention so I can still relate to a lot of these…especially on days when they are not getting along! 🙂
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Yikes. How do you send a dog and a cat to separate corners?
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It isn’t easy! And both of them think I belong to them so when they get upset I get attacked by their…”Save me, Save Me, Save me!” LOL
Especially with the cat because she is sure that max is going to kill her and he just wants to play! Cat on my shoulder, dog under my feet….no way for this scenario to go wrong, lol!
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Best to stay still and let them work it out. 😉
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One word on my mind…kennel! HAHAHAHA
They are sleeping right now…together of all things so I am taking advantage!
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Write as much as you can.
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That’s the plan! Right after I catch up on my reader after being gone for a few days!
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That’s going to be tough. Hope you get through it quickly.
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LOL I am making headway….through yours! I did my pass through now going back to people that I try to read every post on. 🙂
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I post a lot, so feel free to skip a few.
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Yes you do, and I might have missed a few, lol
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