I’m pretty sure ninjas and thieves wear pants
On Monday, I noted a few thief stereotypes that bugged me. I will admit that I probably do them too, but that just makes me a hypocrite. I’m pretty sure a lot of authors hate reading something and use it in their own works because other people like it. Anyway, here is a serious/funny list for anyone using a thief in a story:
- Stop the Speeches about Traps!– Seriously. I cannot believe people do this. The heroes are about to enter a dungeon or the enemy’s castle. During the preparation, the thief starts telling everyone about traps and how good they are at disarming traps. This is the kiss of death for a thief. It’s even worse if they talk about a specific trap. You’re great at disarming fire traps? I think I know how you’re going to die.
- The Cocky Thief– Oh my god! These mouthy bastards are so rude and annoying. They gloat about their skills, insult the other heroes, and seem to be designed for the reader to hate. I get that thieves are not to be trusted, but many of them develop personalities to be liked. They’re manipulators, so being obnoxious isn’t going to help them in their trade. Why do they always gloat and mouth off to warriors too?
- Thief Does Not Equal Ninja– Thieves and ninjas are able to move silently and use the shadows to their advantage. They have that in common. Ninjas are more warrior assassin than burglar. This is where it changes. Unless you have your thief trained in martial arts and weapons, he/she should not be a deadly killer from the shadows. I can accept sniper and sneak attacks, but slipping in and out of shadows like a ghost is pushing it.
- Running Away with The Gear– I see this in television and books all the time. The thief is trusted after doing something big to save everyone. The group goes to sleep and wakes to find the thief has robbed them. This inevitably leads to a hunt for the thief to discover a secret past or something heart-warming reason for the betrayal. The heroes fix the thief’s problem and he/she heads off to help them with his/her special set of skills.
- The Thief is the Betrayer– This one has been aimed at me a few times because Nimby didn’t turn out to be the Hellfire Elf. In fact, I put no suspicion on him whatsoever. I don’t see why a thief should always be painted as the red herring of a plot. Yes, they are manipulative and criminal by nature. That doesn’t mean they will fit into every criminal plot. The pickpocket isn’t always a serial killer in disguise.
- Female Thieves Dress Like Sluts– See the picture up above? That was the first thing I found when I typed in ‘stereotypical thief’. Female thieves are always made to be seductive, gorgeous, and superior to their male counterparts. While male thieves are gritty and loners, the female thief is typically pretty and gladly joins the group. She also tends to sleep around with the other characters. This ends up creating a sense of female thieves wearing only one of two outfits: tight leather or thigh high boots with a cleavage showing bodice. That is not a thief. That’s a dominatrix with a kleptomania issue.
- No Self Control– Somewhere along the line, many thieves became Abu from Aladdin. If there is a trap made around a shiny object, the thief will thoughtlessly set it off. It’s as if they made it far in their trade by leaping at every piece of gold and this is the first time such a treasure has been trapped. Thieves have to use cunning and intelligence to defeat well-armed opponents. It’s a weak character to me if I think the thief has the common sense of tree bark.
