Legends of Windemere

Earl Tyrant from Final Fantasy Unlimited

The next dish is from the deepest of seas.
A lobster so big it brought fishermen to their knees.
This dish was a trial that required a vote
To boil it in the pool or use part of the moat.
Armored body cracked open revealing the meat
The shell was so thick that we had to cheat.
It has been cracked open by thirty knight swords
Most of which shattered to the fret of our lords.
No butter or sauce has been poured on the dish
The gigantic lobster’s meat is naturally delish.
It has left the prince staring with his jaw on the floor.
This should give us some time to cook up some more.

Twenty carts full of dumplings made round and moist.
It is said that these recipes have made kings rejoice.
Dumplings of cheese and others with fruit.
One tray with dumplings of candied pine root.
The prince loves the type that is bursting with jelly.
He joyfully eats them as they stick in his belly.
Now I must praise the chefs who worked hard on this food.
For they made enough for us all, to lighten our mood.

It is time for the final entrée to be eaten.
Various pastas with sauces to sweeten.
Shapes of funnels and animals and old-fashioned clocks.
There is even a set of pasta building blocks.
We have sauces for dipping and others to pour.
I fear that the clean-up will be such a chore.
The prince is making a mess throwing pasta about.
At least the fun he is having is wearing him out.

We are nearing dessert that needs some more time.
So we have some fresh fruit that is truly sublime.
Bouncing cherries that hop as you try to eat them
And a diced opal watermelon that shines like a gem.
Apples with herbal worms and bananas au gratin
Our fruit farmers have made sure that nothing is rotten.
Some items are chilled and others are heated
I believe a few extra napkins are needed.

Earl Tyrant from Final Fantasy Unlimited

Our first meal of meat has come out of the kitchen.
It is a roast fowl that is juicier than chicken.
The bird has eight legs that glisten with meat
That has been cooked with intense red heat.
I heard that this bird lives out in the forest
Where it only eats berries that grow in thick mist.
This diet gives it a natural sweet flavor
Which the prince is eating too quickly to savor.

The potato is done and it’s the size of a house
It was originally grown to share with a spouse
And children and pets and a visiting neighbor
To eat one alone is said to be a great labor.
It is dripping with butter and some type of chives
Said to be grown by a far sultan’s wives.
But the prince carries on without a complaint
He eats this large dish and half of the plate.

You need a bib for the next stage of the feast
The grillers and roasters have cooked every beast.
Cows and pigs and lamb are lame game
This barbeque has animals not nearly as tame.
Giraffe neck and cougar flank bathed in sweet sauce
That sautéed ribs of a boar that ate only moss.
Loins and thick steaks cooked with perfection
Releasing aromas that cannot be rejected.
The prince eats them all leaving only the bone
Which he throws in a bucket at the side of his throne.

The next dish is simple and makes less of a mess.
It is a stacked sandwich made by Chef Von Cless.
Made with tarty-dough bread and tomatoes dyed teal
He added some lettuce that he hand-washed with zeal.
We have unscented onions grown at a rapid river’s edge
Sliced and combined with berries from the royal hedge.
Thin slivers of secret meat finish the edible tower
That our bottomless prince will quite easily devour.

Fresh from the rivers and oceans afar
The cooks have made seafood that is quite bizarre.
A broiled trout that is coated in mint caramel sauce
And a plate full of halibut that were fed cherry gloss.
We have shark and salmon and three kinds of ray
Each with an odd dressing that we just learned of today.
This course is quite rocky as the prince turns up his nose
But he eats every bite while a servant holds his snoot close.

Earl Tyrant from Final Fantasy Unlimited

The bakers have finished and left the ovens on fire
But a basket of bread, I have never seen higher.
Accompanied by a tub of fresh apricot spread
These breads are warmer than a freshly used bed.
Rolls and bagels and loaves of all shapes
Pumpernickel, wheat, and one filled with grapes.
Every slice releases the bread-makers’ spell
As the dining fills with such a wonderful smell.
The prince eats it all from biscuit to baguette.
Not a crumb will be left of this leavened banquet.

I believe it is time for a main course to arrive.
Cooked to perfection by Mrs. Honey D’hive.
Who lives at the end of Kesseldog Street.
She has whipped up a stew with one chunk of meat.
This chunk is not big, but is swelling with taste.
The fun of this dish is searching with haste.
Chewing through yams and sucking down broth.
Never eat this meal with the speed of a sloth.
For if you are too slow, the meat won’t be there.
Thankfully the prince does not have to share.

The prince is still hungry and starting to stomp.
It is time to bring out a breakfast to chomp.
We know this is late and should have been first
But trust us to rush this would have been worst.
The omelet is perfect with peppers and prunes.
Made from the eggs of a tamed flock of loons.
Pancakes with butter and waffles with jam
Followed by succulent slices of elephant ham.
The prince washes it down with milk by the glass
Milked from the cows that eat the best grass.

A cheese platter is coming to keep the meal going.
We must make sure that this feast keeps on flowing.
The cheeses are made from the entire world over
We have hippopotamus brie to cheddar of plover.
The tiger gouda is spicy and the finback feta is mild.
I hope these are enough to keep filling the child.

Earl Tyrant from Final Fantasy Unlimited

Attention! Attention! We need all you meal makers.
We need all the cooks and the chefs and the bakers.
All whippers of cream and pounders of steak.
We are asking for anyone with a great dish to make.
Come on fryers and butchers and roasters and grillers.
We even have need of the fruit juice distillers.
Please answer the summons without much of a hassle.
Everyone is required to come to the castle.

If you are wondering why we are making a racket
Please look at your calendar hanging next to your jacket.
It is the first of the year and you know what that means.
Prince Profundus Vorago is awake and causing some scenes.

He is cranky and hungry from sleeping all year.
His cries are so loud, they will shatter an ear.
This royal toddler needs food as soon as can be.
We hope that you help us and answer our plea.

The first course has arrived! We hear it’s a soup.
Made from ostrich stock, cabbage, and Chef Lyte’s secret goop.
The smell is amazing, but only one gets to eat
And he is very busy getting drool on his feet.
He gulps down the soup without using a spoon.
We are sorry that he acts like a starving baboon.

The second dish has been made and is on the way out.
Chef Parker has made her famous salad of kraut.
Several herbs have been gathered from far and from near.
They are combined with chopped lettuce and a sea turtle’s tear.
She adds carrots and tomatoes and acorns fine ground
For the crunchiest, tastiest salad around.
The prince dives right in with toy fork at the ready.
Getting splatters of salad all over his teddy.

The prince needs a drink to recover from crying.
Throwing such a tantrum can be very trying.
His tears have used up precious water and energy.
Bring the brews now while he’s chewing on celery.
The distillers have made fresh batches of juice.
Liquids ranging in taste from apple to moose.
Each drink kept in a glass with a long bendy straw
With ends dangling near the small prince’s maw.