The Fabulous Feast Of Prince Profundus Vorago (Part 3)

Earl Tyrant from Final Fantasy Unlimited

Earl Tyrant from Final Fantasy Unlimited

Our first meal of meat has come out of the kitchen.
It is a roast fowl that is juicier than chicken.
The bird has eight legs that glisten with meat
That has been cooked with intense red heat.
I heard that this bird lives out in the forest
Where it only eats berries that grow in thick mist.
This diet gives it a natural sweet flavor
Which the prince is eating too quickly to savor.

The potato is done and it’s the size of a house
It was originally grown to share with a spouse
And children and pets and a visiting neighbor
To eat one alone is said to be a great labor.
It is dripping with butter and some type of chives
Said to be grown by a far sultan’s wives.
But the prince carries on without a complaint
He eats this large dish and half of the plate.

You need a bib for the next stage of the feast
The grillers and roasters have cooked every beast.
Cows and pigs and lamb are lame game
This barbeque has animals not nearly as tame.
Giraffe neck and cougar flank bathed in sweet sauce
That sautéed ribs of a boar that ate only moss.
Loins and thick steaks cooked with perfection
Releasing aromas that cannot be rejected.
The prince eats them all leaving only the bone
Which he throws in a bucket at the side of his throne.

The next dish is simple and makes less of a mess.
It is a stacked sandwich made by Chef Von Cless.
Made with tarty-dough bread and tomatoes dyed teal
He added some lettuce that he hand-washed with zeal.
We have unscented onions grown at a rapid river’s edge
Sliced and combined with berries from the royal hedge.
Thin slivers of secret meat finish the edible tower
That our bottomless prince will quite easily devour.

Fresh from the rivers and oceans afar
The cooks have made seafood that is quite bizarre.
A broiled trout that is coated in mint caramel sauce
And a plate full of halibut that were fed cherry gloss.
We have shark and salmon and three kinds of ray
Each with an odd dressing that we just learned of today.
This course is quite rocky as the prince turns up his nose
But he eats every bite while a servant holds his snoot close.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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11 Responses to The Fabulous Feast Of Prince Profundus Vorago (Part 3)

  1. This is great Charles and very amusing. I don’t think I’d like this feast though – I’m not a big meat or fish eater!!!

    Like

  2. L. Marie says:

    “A broiled trout that is coated in mint caramel sauce
    And a plate full of halibut that were fed cherry gloss.”–Ewwwwww! But very colorful!

    Like

  3. The last line was a snorter.

    Like

  4. Kirsten says:

    Ewwwww! I’m amazed at your imagination, but grossed out by some of the food choices. Where did you come up with all these foodie ideas?!?

    Like

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