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I think any person who has announced their dream and tried to accomplish it has been told to quit. Artists especially are routinely dragged down under the guise of saving them from themselves. They are only left alone after they quit or if they actually make a solid living off their art. Staying in-between only creates more grief because it’s impossible to avoid naysayers with the Internet. You need to market yourself on there, which means you open yourself up to the barbs.
Friends and I have talked a lot about what drives a person to do this, especially if they’re a friend or family. The latter tends to be really bad even though we hear about celebrities who made it because their family believed in them. I would say for every supportive family that helped an artist reach success there has to be at least 100 who fought to stop their loved ones from pursuing a risky path. That’s what it really comes down to in these scenarios. People know that achieving your dream in the arts is difficult, but they don’t really understand the years of work that go into it. Many expect it to be a simple act of being discovered with little to no effort by the artist, which is partially caused by fictional stories depicting this scenario. So, they end up trying to dissuade an artist from something that they don’t think they can accomplish.
People outside of the family/friends group could be acting out of bitterness for not making it themselves. There are many out there who know they failed to achieve their dreams and take out their anger on others. It can reach a point where they become happy at the failures of others, which makes them rather dangerous towards new artists who are still getting their footing.
If it isn’t bitterness then it’s a belief that nobody can make it without being born into the right family and era. You need the contacts, money, and nurturing necessary to achieve your dream even if you don’t have the talent. Sadly, there is some truth to this. Look at some of the most famous people around and how a big part of their success was being born to the right family. Nepotism and huge inheritances have created many of the big names we know of now. For anyone who fought and struggled with no success, seeing people who already have wealth and fame achieve their dream can be crushing. Personally, I’ve felt this whenever I saw ads for a celebrity publishing a fiction book or the old Top 100 lists being dominated by new editions of juggernaut franchises. It’s like the top of the heap is already full and will never have space for anyone born outside those ranks.
A reason I keep thinking about this phrase is because it had been said so much to me over the years. Sometimes by fellow authors. I fought against it for a long time, but it’s harder to ignore these days. My books don’t sell. I can’t carve out any time for editing or writing because life is too busy. Probably be that way for years if it ever changes. I know people have told me that I’ll get back into it, but what kind of skills or drive will I have left if I give up for a few years. The spark of creativity isn’t eternal. It needs to be fed and kept alive or it will die. Whatever comes back probably won’t be as potent, especially if you reach an age where your mental facilities aren’t as sharp. God knows Covid did a number on my brain a few years back, so I don’t want to know what it’ll be like if I wait a few years to let aging and stress join in the fun. All of this makes me feel like there is a time limit on how long one can pursue their dreams. At least these days where retirement doesn’t look like a possibility, which means that avenue is closed off.
So, I wonder if the people who told me quit have finally gotten their way. I’ve said this before and even pointed out that there are some who actually sabotaged me in the past with pretty good success. With work and parenting taking up so much time, I can’t recover what I lost. By the time things even remotely settle, the publishing landscape will have changed and I’ll be back at square one. Even now, there isn’t much attention given to indie publishing in the public eye. All I hear people talk about are the usual franchises that have sucked most of the oxygen out of their connected genres. It’s sad to think that the statement in the title is almost an inevitability for the majority of artists.
That’s really it here. I’m sure people will have other opinions and be more positive than I am. For me, it took me 2 months to type in edits this summer. This is just reading my books, editing, and typing in the changes. Not full on writing. So, it isn’t that I want to quit. It’s that I’m not being given much of a choice
Legends of Windemere 