Legends of Windemere

Last week went south really fast and next week is looking like the same thing.  I didn’t even touch the Ichabod Brooks notebook and struggled to keep up with online stuff.  By Tuesday, I was already exhausted and stressed.  So, what happened?

First, I’m going to mention a few good things . . . I finished setting up the posts for January and February.  That’s really all I could focus on.  Jason sent me a progress shot of the Warlord of the Forgotten Age cover, so we’re hoping for the book to be out by the second week of December.  It’ll probably be near the end of that week as long as things run smoothly, which is another issue stemming from the current problem.  Correction: ProblemS.  Sadly, this ends the positive stuff.

My wife still has two weeks in the cast, which means I still have two weeks of driving her to and from work.  This means I haven’t been able to ease into my day and I’ve been doing all of the errands too.  I get home tired, unmotivated to do biking, and barely able to focus on anything other than the clock.  It just feels like my life and time has been redirected to keeping the house in one piece.  Seriously, even with the cast, she can’t do much of anything.  I have to flip the popcorn popper when it’s done, cut her food if it requires a knife, driving, carrying her heavy bag to work, make her egg cups, and repeatedly watch to make sure she doesn’t hit her arm.  I know this is what a husband has to do and I don’t mind it beyond the exhaustion.  Yet, it’s caused the bigger problem that we’re starting to face.  This is what’s going to get me in trouble, but I need to vent and give an explanation of why I’m exceptionally off my game here.

Some people might remember that my son is on the autism spectrum and he’s been fighting his meals.  So, things have been dicey for a while.  Well, the situation took a turn for the worse.  On Monday, he abruptly became terrified of the bus and flipped out as it came down the block.  I tried to wave it on while my wife tried to wave it to stop, which caused him to freak out even more.  He didn’t want the bus to leave without him, but he refused to get on the bus.  He’s the first pick up too.  Eventually, the bus left and we had an angry house.  A lot of yelling ensued and I ended up taking my son with me to drop my wife off at work.  He calmed down during the trip and I was able to drop him off at school where he had a nice day.  I was already drained and couldn’t get any work done because I was trying to figure out what set him off.  The next day, he got on the bus with a little caution, but at least he got on.  I spent the morning wandering Target in search of a reward for him and picking up some cheap trinkets for when he earns 30 food stickers.  I thought this was going to be the worst of it all.

So, Wednesday passed with my wife getting an X-ray and being told 2 more weeks.  We had some fighting with the little guy at night because he was refusing to do his reading for school.  We do it at night since we’ve always done reading at night.  Everyone was getting tired and then things came to a head on Friday.  My son was happy when he got on the bus, but he turned.  The overview is major tantrums, throwing stuff, kicking at the air, and screaming, which he’s never done at school before.  He’s been difficult and thrown minor tantrums, but throwing stuff is new.  Yet, he came home happy and didn’t have a problem going to martial arts.  It was after dinner that he exploded like never before and we got a front row seat to the violence.  I was actually hit on purpose and that brought things to a whole new level.  Saturday was spent being cautious about him and discussing what we’re going to do about it.  Looks like we’ll have to get a child psychologist into this, but the adults here are still arguing over things.  Some people are suggesting medication and others don’t want to go that far unless entirely necessary.

One thing that remains is that we’re not sure what caused this.  My wife and I have a feeling that it’s in response to her injury since this started 2 days after that.  Since that day, everything has changed in the house.  My wife can’t do a lot with him, I’m more tired than ever, grandpa takes him to martial arts instead of me, and we simply don’t have the time to ease into things.  Mornings are chaotic with me having to get my wife and son moving instead of focusing entirely on him.  So, this could be him freaking out over his world changing beyond his control.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t mean he’ll go right back to his old self once the cast is off.  We’ve already had to opt out of a family gathering because of this too.  It’s looking like going out won’t be a thing for a while unless it’s to a place with an easy out.

Honestly, I would have been happy if the only thing that went wrong this week was the manga screw up.  Requested Cowboy Bebop 1-3, Cowboy Bebop: Shooting Star 1-2, Samurai Champloo 1-2, and a Trigun Omnibus.  Still waiting on the first series 2-3, got 2 copies of Volume 2 of the second series, and Volume 1 of the 3rd series ended up being an art book.  At least Trigun worked out and I requested the first 4 Omnibuses (Volumes 1-12) of Dragonball.  Reading manga is one of the few joys I’m able to get lately since I can’t touch my writing too often.

So, that’s been my week and why the goal post was delayed.  Next week could be the same and we have parent-teacher conferences on Wednesday.  That means he’ll be home then and I have a big doctor appointment on Thursday.  Could be nothing, could be something, but I have to get it checked out.

All of that being said, I feel I owe people an apology for what’s turning into a fairly disastrous hype and debut for the final Legends of Windemere book.  I know I have 25 people who requested personalized guest posts, which have been written.  Some people have reserved dates for me and I’ve got so much going on here that I can’t give a satisfying release date.  Once I hit publish, my first priority will be getting those posts out with the cover and sales link.  My hope is that I can muster enough energy to get the book out and set up all the promos before I finally give in to what is amounting to a physical, mental, and emotional collapse.  Just feeling so frayed and I’m angry that this is the mindset I have when I finally finish my big series.  Almost like I can’t fully enjoy it because I’m under so much stress.

I’m not making any goals for this week and maybe not the next one.  I’m just going to take things as they come and hope for the best.  Hope everyone has a fun week.