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Welcome to the only place that provides authors with the merchandising choices of their dreams.  We don’t even charge real money.  Oh, we’ll get to that part near the end because you don’t want to ruin the surprise.  Now, what kind of event are you preparing for?  A convention, a book signing, a contest, a craft fair?  We recently had one author who was promoting her book during a dog sledding competition.  She was in the race and we had to create some specialized merchandise.  So, what do you need?

Conventions are common and simple, but only if you let them be.  The vendor room is cutthroat since people rarely bring enough money to spend on everything they want.  I know they have cards, but many get uncomfortable once that comes about.  You mentioned it being a fantasy series and you already have books to sell as well as stickers and bookmarks.  Not a bad start, but do your bookmarks project holograms of your characters?  I thought not.  Those are our best sellers and you can make it that each one has a random character.  Make them a collectible set and you can sell hundreds.  Oh, those are the freebies?  In that case, I’d just pick your favorite character and leave it at that because the scramble for all of them only helps if people are paying.

How are you on signage?  Decent banner and flanking standing signs, which are more than most people have.  Now, I don’t want to push you too hard on this, but what about screens that show various scenes from your book?  Nothing with spoilers, but an animated depiction of a few action scenes could draw people to your table.  We can even have it done in a way that it travels from this side along the raised banner and down this side.  If you are worried about revealing too much then you can write an action scene that isn’t in the book and use that.  Spelling and grammar wouldn’t be important here as long as our programmers get the general idea.  We can include these prismatic cubes that can show the buyer these scenes whenever they want.  They come in key chain size, but they cause the human brain to imagine that they’re on a big screen.  I’ll put you down for a maybe on this one.

Now, we do have some fun fantasy specific merchandise that will require some information from you.  Come this way and you’ll see that we have a working forge in the back.  Our blacksmiths can create the signature weapons of your characters, which you can sell for any price of your choosing.  We also have jewelers if there are unique pieces in your stories.  This is fairly popular among fantasy authors, but you have to make it clear that none of these are magical.  There have been some problems with buyers suing for false advertising since they assume replicas of fictional weapons possess powers.  That should be easy to fix.  Another special service is that we can craft an animatronic version of a monster that appears in your books.  Space is an issue, so don’t ask for a dragon if you can’t get it into the room.  Since this is something you would want to sell, you might want to go for a small amount of fairies, tiny dragons, goblins, or anything that you can pack into the back of a van.  Then again, you could also have one big thing that you keep outside and run a raffle.  That’s been successful in the past, but you will have to warn those running the convention.

Was there anything else you wanted?  Hats, mugs, t-shirts, and phone cases are all options that we can go over in a few minutes.  My real job is to get you interested in our more unique services.  Oh, you want to know about the payment now?  Step over here and have a seat.  Don’t worry about the helmet being put on your head.  I assure you that it isn’t hooked up and my hand on this lever means nothing.  All of what we can provide will be yours for the simple price of an idea.  Give us one of your story ideas and we are at your service.  Could be a full series or a single book as long as you let us take it from you.  Why?  What if I was to tell you that I’m from the future where humans no longer have imaginations and I’m sending the ideas of modern humans back to try and revive the creativity of our species?  Now, should I pull the lever or not?