7 Tips to Dating a Fairy

Crysta and Zak from FernGully

Crysta and Zak from FernGully

To make a Feykin, you need a fairy.  That’s just biology or some type of science that makes people blush during the slideshow.  So, what do you need to know when you start dating a fairy?

  1. Watch where you step and sit.  Also, don’t swat at what you think is a bug unless you’re sure it’s a bug.  Might want to hide all flyswatters and sell your Pikachu-shaped bug zapper.  This only goes for the small fairies, but smashing your date would put a crimp in the relationship.
  2. Never carve your initials into a tree in order to impress a dryad.  She probably knows the tree very well and will become enraged that you mutilated her friend.  The addition of a heart will only make things worse, so best to leave the pocketknife at home.  Either that or ask her if there are any trees she has issues with.
  3. Do not believe a fire sprite when they tell you ice skating, skiing, or the IceCapades shouldn’t be a problem.  They’re only trying to be nice since you seem very interested in going.  Depending on the species, you will either have a date-sicle within a few minutes or the entire venue will melt.  If your date still insists on going then make sure to pack a pair of floaties and a stack of apology cards.
  4. Always laugh at a sprites pranks because not laughing means they will try harder.  Best to keep their antics small like buckets of water over doors and itching powder in your socks.  Last thing you want is to start your car and have it launch into the stratosphere like a rocket.  There has never been a human that a sprite hasn’t pushed into either laughter or agony.
  5. Don’t threaten to stop believing in fairies when you’re fighting.  Not that it would kill them like Tinkerbell.  It’s just that it doesn’t work and you’ll open the door for them to prove they exist.  This can range from a slap to the face to thorns sprouting from your pants . . . backwards.
  6. Cosplay as a fairy once or twice.  By this, I mean put on fake wings and the outfit while allowing your date to transform you for a night.  Learning what it’s like to be a fairy can go a long way in the relationship.
  7. Never touch their wings without permission.  Just don’t.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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29 Responses to 7 Tips to Dating a Fairy

  1. portapatetcormagis says:

    That’s some sound advice. I guess the author is speaking from experience 😉


  2. Love it. Probably never want to tell her, “Make me a sandwich,” either.


  3. This advice sounds like it would be good to follow. Now if I only knew a fairy. The LOL moment was backward horns in the pants. (although the car launch was pretty funny too.)


  4. Soul Fields says:

    Reblogged this on SOUL FIELDS and commented:
    Laughing out loud. Maybe you, too. Thanks, Charles Yallowitz!


  5. N. N. Light says:

    I laughed my butt off at this. My favorite line is this:

    Never touch their wings without permission. Just don’t.

    LOL! Wise advice, Charles. Thank you for the humor on a very busy Friday!


  6. Helen Jones says:

    I love this post, Charles! Lots of fun plus some very useful advice 🙂


  7. And don’t bring Barbie clothes to try to dress up a fairy!


  8. L. Marie says:

    Ha ha! Very good advice–especially number 4. I have to wonder if Pixie Dust comes into play.

    Is there anything special you can offer a fairy to make that fairy fall in love with you?


  9. jowensauthor says:

    Reblogged this on Jeanne Owens, author and commented:
    Some useful words of advice in case you ever need them:


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