Yola Biggs by Kayla Matt

1. If you had the choice of any occupation, what would you actually like to be?
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   I’d want to be a jellyfish.  Just float around the ocean and stinging things.  Nyder says I’d be good at that because they don’t have brains.  I think he means I’d be a really smart jellyfish.
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2. Do you have any hobbies that you would like to be able to spend more time on?
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   I would like to get back into painting.  The Baron made me stop when I colored the castle an ugly yellow that made the entire continent sick.  Then I tired sculpting, but people got angry when I rearranged their bones and organs.  Nobody understands true art.  All they do is yell ‘Don’t do that, Yola! My liver doesn’t bend that way, Yola!’  I put everyone back the way they were before.  Only two casualties, which is a record.
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3. What’s your favorite meal?
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   There is a vendor in Gaia that sells these folded sandwiches.  They have lettuce, spiced meat, a creamy sauce, tomatoes, and onions.  The wrapper he gives with the mediocre sandwich is delicious.
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4. Do you play any musical instruments–if so, what? If you don’t, what would you like to play?
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   I can sneeze all of the ancient songs.  There’s also this thing called a panpipe that I can play when I don’t feel well.  Trinity says those periods are when I’m normal, but I’m pretty sure it’s a chronic disease.
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5. Is there any one in particular that you wish you didn’t have to be around?
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   That person over there.  Not you.  The woman with the . . . what kind of shirt is that?  It doesn’t matter.  Go away.
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6. Have you ever been strongly attracted to someone and it never developed?
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   In my youth, I shared a room with a handsome young man.  We were joined at the hip until we were forced to separate.  Wait.  What do you mean twin brother in the womb doesn’t count?  That’s what the person meant?  Well that’s just sick.  I’d never feel that way about my brother.
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7. Are you surprised about what you have become? Is this what you expected when you were a child?
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   Nope.  I’ve always been what I am.  Though getting kicked out of my home and having to hide was a shock.  Go search for The Merchant of Nevra Coil to find out more about that.  It might be out by now.  We do these things a month early.
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8. What is your biggest fear?
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   Leaving home without my legs, cuttlefish, that monkey with his eyes covered, and the threat of being sealed in a bubble where I can sense the world without interacting for all eternity.
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9. If you could change places with another person in Windemere, who would it be and why?
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   There’s a gnome currently sitting in the most blissful cross breeze.  The sky is perfect and they’re drinking something called a lemonade.  Be right back.  *switches places with gnome for a minute and returns with two glasses of lemonade*  I may have left a tiny windstorm there because I was in a rush.
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10. What makes you happy?
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    Everything!
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11. What does teamwork mean to you?
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    Something important?  I’ve never really been part of a team, so I couldn’t say.  Gods and goddesses are more solo acts that happen to work alongside each other.  They do occasionally work together, but nobody ever wants to partner up the Chaos Goddess.  I guess being the one who does whatever random thought comes into her mind has a downside.  That downside is people simply never learn how much fun I can be.
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12. How would you define honor?
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    As a noun it means high esteem, esteem, or privilege.  As a verb it means to regard someone with great respect or fulfill an obligation.
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13. What’s the best way to hunt monsters?
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    With a helmet made of meat, a barbeque sauce cologne, and underwear made out of bacon.  That way you’re working on an even playing field.  After all, the monsters don’t have swords.  They have claws, teeth, various poisons, some breathe fire, wings, and a variety of other deadly skills.  None of them have swords.  Well, some undead have swords.  What about inviting them to dinner and being nice?
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14. What’s your first response when someone makes you really, really mad?
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    Turn them into a watermelon.
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15. What’s it like working for Charles?
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    He pays me in gummy bears.

Check out more of Yola Biggs in
LEGENDS OF WINDEMERE