Paying the Bills, on #LisaBurtonRadio

coldhandboyack's avatarEntertaining Stories

Lisa Burton

Hi everyone, and welcome to this week’s edition of Lisa Burton Radio. Just me this week for several reasons. The main one is that I didn’t want to stick a guest during the week between the holidays.

Still, Christmas is over, and mine was wonderful. Bunny and I hung out at the writing cabin, and it was nice and quiet.

Speaking of Christmas, what did you get? I know this crowd, and every one of you got an Amazon gift card. You’re all readers and writers, don’t deny it. After you finish your purchases, there is likely to be a bit left over, and that’s what I want to talk about today.

Craig is my author. Officially, it’s C. S. Boyack, but we all just call him Craig. See, he writes books too. His are all ebooks, so you’ll need a Kindle or one of the apps to read them.

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The Future of Ichabod Brooks

Cover Art by Circecorp

So, I’m trying to decide what to do with Ichabod Brooks.  He’s fairly popular even though the book doesn’t sell any better than the others.  After making Derailing Bedlam a blog-only story and feeling like I’m giving up on Cassidy and Lloyd, I’m left wondering if I should do the same to Ichabod.  The way I see it, I have two options:

  1. Gradually write the next collection and put it up on the blog as I finish.  This means I won’t have to pay for cover art and promoting.  Not bad since money is tight, but I’m feeling really bad about what I’m doing to my characters.  Once they go on the blog, I don’t have the same urgency to write more.  Cassidy and Lloyd might get a fifth adventure one day, but I have such limited time that I need to focus on the big series.  I can feel a pain in my chest as I consider that they are becoming a symbol of my failure and now I’m just wandering away from the real topic.
  2. The other option is to gradually write the next set of Ichabod Brooks stories and figure out a way to get cover art.  I will release it at some point instead of making it a scheduled one.  This is already happening with War of Nytefall, which is the core series that I need to focus on.  I’m writing this post in October, so maybe I’ve already started in on some of the Ichabod Brooks stories, but the question is: What do I do with them?

Much like Bedlam, Ichabod Brooks just came to me on a whim and I’ve enjoyed running with the unexpected ideas.  They don’t have the pressure of the bigger series, so maybe I shouldn’t worry too much.  Perhaps I can even set out to gather all of the Bedlam books into one big collection (minus the political one) and publish that one day.  I just find it hard to have these ideas written or beyond the outline stage and not share them.

So, what do people think?  Guess I’m asking for both Bedlam and Ichabod Brooks.

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Teaser Tuesday: Old Friends Face Off #fantasy #adventure

Cover Art by Jason Pedersen

It isn’t really Christmas related . . . Okay, it isn’t connected to Christmas at all, but this is where the dice fell.  Figure Legends of Windemere: Path of the Traitors is an easier sell than War of Nytefall  After all, this story deals with a character trying to make amends for all of the evil things she’s done.  I’m noticing that these excerpts are much bigger than I usually do too.  Sorry about that, but it’s getting really hard to find smaller pieces to share these days.

Continue reading →

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What Do You Want for the Holidays, Lloyd Tenay?

Hotel Transylvania

(I was only going to do War of Nytefall, but I decided to include Ichabod Brooks, Crossing Bedlam, and Legends of Windemere.)

Lloyd Tenay–  We sure fit a lot of people in here.  So, I go first since I’m in the title.  I would like to have the first appearance of Spider-Man, which is ‘Amazing Fantasy #15’.  Bet nobody saw that coming.

Cassidy– Who smells so bad?  Uh, a nickel-plated .41 caliber Colt Thunderer or the .38 caliber Colt Lightening.  Both double action.  I believe those were the ones favored by Doc Holliday.  Next!

Lost–  I went a big bed shaped like a bunny!  The pillows will smell like tomatoes and the blankets will be self-cleaning.  Oh, and it can move on its own.  You never known when you’ll want to sleep on the road and sleeping bags are so boring.

Mab– No idea.  I mean, it isn’t like I can’t just take what I want.  Although, I could always use a fun heist with my old partner.  We haven’t done anything like that in years.

Clyde–  A challenging fight would be nice.  Haven’t had one of those in years . . . Fine.  I also want to go pull a heist with my old partner.  Give me back my leg, Mab, before I beat you with that Lloyd guy.

Bob–  A horse.

Luther–  I do need some oil for my sickles.  They’re getting rusty.

Titus–  You two are rather simple and practical.  I want . . . Hmmm . . . There’s a type of meat found to the west that I haven’t had for a long time.  Really like a steak made out of that.  Not sure what animal it comes from either.

Xavier Tempest & Nadia Sylvan–  We have each other.

Archillious– My greatness demands a statue built in its honor.  Not right now, but once I decide on where it should go.  In the meantime, I would gladly accept the open praise that I truly deserve.

Fizzle–  APPLES!

Gregorio Roman– At my age, I don’t really desire anything.  All I hope is that life doesn’t get boring.  Eternity would be unbearable without excitement.

The Duchess of LaSalle– A collection of bubble baths.  It’s so hard to find beauty products in the Shattered States.  Why is this starting to run so quickly?

Chastity Sullivan–  I think the guy running the show is getting impatient.  Looks like some of us are missing too.  What do I want?  Actually, that indoor tree and strange candelabra thing look like fun.  That spinning game is giving me some ideas for the Scrumptious Siren.  Can I borrow your Earth holidays?  Honestly, I’m more of a giver than a taker.

Kira Grasdon– That my book gets mentioned in here too.  Quest of the Brokenhearted!  Thanks!  Now, I’d like my fiancee back.

Kai Stavros– Could always use more knives.

Stephanie Talon–  All I desire is the attention and love of my mistress.  Why are all the champions be left for the end?

Dariana–  Sorry about that.  I guess being retired means we aren’t moving as quickly as we used to.  Not that we’re old, but there’s no rush for us.  I would like to have some ice cream.  The food in my current location is good, but I’m getting bored of it.

Sari–  I still want my candy wagon.  It would be so much fun to drive that around the world and give free treats to people.  Kind of like that big old guy in your world.  Don’t think I’d want his outfit though.

Nyx–  A good night’s sleep?  I’m trying to run a kingdom, raise kids, and not blow up that obnoxious mercenary country that popped up on my border.  Doesn’t help that the twins take turns crying for me.  Think I’d rather fight Baron Kernaghan again.

Delvin Cunningham–  What my wife said.  Alexander and Fiona are just as much a handful as the twins.  Those two really need to stop bickering, especially when they’re at the academy.

Queen Trinity–  I want all of the books that were lost during the Baron’s reign to be revived and returned to my people.  We lost a lot of our history and culture, which I’m sure has to be hidden in the world somewhere.

Timoran Wrath–  A good mug of ale and a hearty roast.  It is the simple things in life that I prefer these days.

Luke Callindor–  The ability to go back in time and stop myself from making a really big mistake.  Actually, that sounds pretty immature and I have to accept responsibility for what I did.  So, I just want a day of peace.  I’m so tired of running.  Who’s left?

Ichabod Brooks–  Just me and I’ve been having fun watching you kids run around.  Well, you kids and the collection of immortals.  Now, what to ask for?  An enchanted oven would be helpful when I make cookies for my adventures.  The one I have is good, but the magic was designed to obey my wife more than me.  So, I have to depend more on my own skills than it.  On second thought, I’d rather it go that way.  I’ll take a family vacation to Cerascent then.  One that doesn’t turn into an adventure.  That shouldn’t be too much to ask for.

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Early Christmas Greetings and Well Wishes

I didn’t really plan this whole thing out.  Tomorrow has some funny character stuff for Christmas, but then I set up a Teaser Tuesday as if it’s a normal day.  So, I’m going to do some Christmas stuff now.  Yeah . . . I also kind of forgot what I was going to post about and it’s for the best.  I’m out having a day for me, so I won’t be commenting much until night.  Been a while.

WOW!  Didn’t expect a bunch of Hitler memes when I typed ‘Christmas Jew Meme’.  That ends that idea.

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Goal Post: My First Holiday Break from the Other Side

So, I have next week off, which is both cool and weird.  I don’t enter it with the student mentality of ‘no more school!’.  I’m a T.A. and I’ve only been one since November, so I kind of have a ‘now what?’ thinking going on.  Not that I don’t have any plans, but it feels more like I want to relax than have fun.  It’s been a roller coaster week too with only some of it shareable, so I guess that’s factoring in.  I know I’m run down a bit when I nail a 7 hour night of sleep instead of my usual 4-5.  Can’t say I’m upset about that.

Like I said before, I can’t really talk about a lot of what happened this week.  One part is because I feel it’s wrong to speak about any specific student items.  I’m having fun and working hard.  Got to help out at the middle school too, which was a blast.  The week ended with an international cultural festival too, which was awesome.  Dancing, music, and fashion from around the world.  There was food too, but I got caught up in some things and missed it.  Oops.  I’ll remember for next year.  I’m trying to figure out if I can still put in for my Florida teaching license even though it’s been 10 years since I finished all of the requirements.  This might give me the ability to substitute for teachers instead of just T.A.’s.  I really want to be more helpful and getting a Masters will take some time, so I’m wondering if what I did in the past can shorten the wait time.  Kind of want those 2 years of hard work to pay off too.

The other part of me not being able to talk is an ongoing personal issue.  Yeah, I don’t feel comfortable going further than that.

I do plan on editing War of Nytefall: Rivalry this weekend and week.  I’ve already done the first 6 of 17 chapters, which helps me meet the goal of getting it ready for others to read.  Best part is that I get to do this at my new desk, which I’ve barely used because I’ve either been working or resting.  The hardest part about this editing job is that my mind is still not fully into writing mode.  Waiting for my life to settle isn’t an option, so I’m going to attempt a shock effect.  This will be the second time doing it since the chaos started and I can get into it after a page or two.  My real worry is when it comes time to write something new.  I might start with an Ichabod Brooks short story, which I could feasibly begin during this break.  Things are settling enough that I can work a bit on some nights.  Still, my author mojo got pretty badly crushed a few months ago and it’s taking longer than I would like to recover.

Then again, this weekend’s adventures might help there.  So much excitement.  I mean, you can’t imagine what I’m going to . . . I’m taking this afternoon to do an online defensive driving course.  Okay, it’s not exciting, but it has to be done.  This one includes quizzes and an occasional voice biometric test to make sure I’m still me.  Praying a telemarketer doesn’t call in the middle of me doing one of those because I could be sent back to the beginning.  Still, I finally get this out of the way and clear a path for tomorrow, which is a day in NYC.  One of my closest friends is having a rough time too, so we’re getting together to raise each other’s spirits and be a couple of chuckling idiots.  No real plan beyond wandering, having some food, and just talking.  Been a really long time since we got a day like this and I’m looking forward to it.  So, I won’t be replying to social media stuff that quickly since I don’t want to be rude.

Not that my blog and social media sites have been very busy.  Part of it is that I don’t have the time to be highly active since I’m up at 5 am to get the notifications checked and then on the exercise bike.  Need to lose weight and it’s a slow process that’s working a bit.  I’m usually pretty tired at night and taking care of other things too.  I feel bad that I’m not as social as I used to be here.  Part of it is that I feel like I’m leaping through reblogs or have nothing to say.  You can tell that my replies have gotten shorter because I’m distracted by life and feeling a little distant from humanity at times.  Not sure what’s set off this mild drawing back, but it’s probably hurt me a bit.  I still look around for anything I can do to help promote, but money and time tend to be issues.  Why does it feel like indie authordom is now more of a rich man’s game than the ragtag group of artists it was years ago?  Maybe I just wasn’t aware before.

That’s pretty much it for this pre-Christmas post.  I’m Jewish, but I know I have to give a nod to the holiday.  It’ll be tomorrow though since today I’m just going to state my goals and get back to the excitement of . . . laundry.  Why did the kid version of me think adulthood would be fun and exciting?

Goals:

  1. Edit War of Nytefall: Rivalry
  2. Defensive Driving course
  3. Fun Sunday!!!!!
  4. Possibly start writing an Ichabod Brooks short story.
  5. Continue biking and eating better.  Snacking is the enemy!
  6. Need a haircut and eye exam.
  7. Watch more of ‘Black Butler’ or ‘Seven Deadly Sins’.
  8. Finish reading ‘Rave Master’ since all of the volumes are due back in early January.  Just 9 to go . . . Uh oh.

Random Plug: War of Nytefall: Loyalty! Grab it for $2.99!

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To the Treasure Chest

Legend of Zelda . . . I’ve been using a lot from this game

Waiting within the ruins
Of a land that lost its name
To the hunger of time
You are sought by many
Who do not know
That you exist

Many have reached you
And fallen at your feet
Burying you
In a sea of bones
The fallen skulls
Staring at you with desire

Splintery lid
Rusty lock
That continues to hold tight
Traces of a pattern
Devoured by time
What secrets do you hold?

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Derailing Bedlam: Land of Stewed ‘Shrooms Part 3 #fiction #adventure

As usual, here is your warning that this story has cursing, sex (not graphic), innuendo, and violence.  It’s my Rated-R action adventure called Derailing Bedlam.  This is the fourth outing (third official) for Cassidy and Lloyd, so feel free to click on one of the two covers to see how it started.  Each one is 99 cents!

Cover by Jon Hunsinger

Cover Art by Jon Hunsinger

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Continue reading →

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Underneath, on #LisaBurtonRadio

coldhandboyack's avatarEntertaining Stories

Lisa Burton

Welcome to this week’s edition of Lisa Burton Radio. I’m your host, Lisa the robot girl, and this week we’re trying to fix a relationship. Our special guest today is Steve. “Welcome to the show, Steve.”

“Thanks, Lisa, great to be here. So refreshing to talk to someone rational for a change. I’m going round in circles with Liesel.”

“Let’s hope we can help you fix that. Why don’t you tell us about how you guys met?”

“I was sitting at a table on my own in the staff canteen when I looked up from a plate of bright-orange chicken madras, to see this woman with lavish Pre-Raphaelite hair beaming down at me. She’d mistaken me for some other guy, but it didn’t matter once we got chatting. I found out later she’d made him up, this other guy. You’ve got to admire a woman who can pull off a…

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7 Tips If You Want To Go Dungeon Crawling

Legend of Zelda

It’s not the easiest way to make a living, especially since you never know if someone has come before you.  Yet, people still take on the hobby known as dungeon crawling.  For those who don’t know, this is the exploring of a location that is maze-like, possibly abandoned, and filled with danger.  Ruins are a common type of ‘dungeon’ because they can hold long forgotten treasures.  It isn’t even money that draws people into this type of adventure since you can uncover lost knowledge.  So, what are some things to consider if you march into the deadly unknown?

  1. Try to make the situation as ‘known’ as possible.  If you’ve heard about this location then somebody else has.  The treasure and traps have waiting years for visitors, so another day isn’t going to make a difference.  All you have to do is ask around any neighboring villages or check out a library that may hold books on the area.  It might not be much, but every scrap of information can increase your chance of surviving whatever is lurking inside.
  2. Check out the entrance for signs of previous visitors.  Footprints and discarded torch flint are fairly common.  If you find very deep prints and tracks then it could mean that the area has already been pilfered.  This exploration doesn’t end at the entrance either because you can search for abandoned gear as you travel.  Some of these can give you a warning about potential danger depending on their condition.
  3. Do NOT put the healer at the front of the group.  Even if this is a paladin and they are determined to take the lead, you don’t want to put that person at ultimate risk.  All you need is one lethal trap and you’re all in trouble.  Best to put someone in the lead who can either disarm traps or at least sense them.  If the paladin continues complaining then tell him or her that you need someone with their power to watch the rear.  Just feed the ego before they get killed.
  4. Bring extra torches because you never know when you will need a new one.  It can burn out or get dropped or you can fall into water.  Aside from torches, you should also bring extra flint and steel in case you have to spend a few days in the dungeon.  Staying on the equipment subject, you should not forget: rope, rations, water, boots, weapons, and medicine to handle poison.  Ancient civilizations loooove poison.
  5. If something looks suspicious then assume it is a trap.  Also assume that everything within a five foot radius is a trap too.  You never know if something has been made obvious to lead you into the real danger.  Throw stones at the suspicious spots from a safe distance and be ready to run.  Another thing that helps here is to have your caster summon anything that can set it off.  This way you don’t need to carry all those heavy rocks and you don’t have to depend on your aim and strength to set it off.  Nothing more embarrassing than bouncing a stone off a disguised switch that you trigger by stepping on it later.
  6. Every person should have one empty sack to fill with treasure.  How silly will you all feel if you get to the hoard and you can only grab one handful each?  Plan for success and stay positive.
  7. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the monsters that you can wander into.  Bring weapons, magic, bait, and whatever you can think of that might be useful against an ancient beast.  Ask around to see if people know what might be down there even if it’s just a legend.  Bringing someone who studied monster lore is helpful, especially if they can identify the potential dangers from marks and scat.  Much like the traps, you can only do so much before entering the dungeon.  Oh, you might not want to cough or sneeze while in there.  That’s just asking for an ambush.
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