So, you’re looking to journey to the depths of our world! Not the rocky ones, but the watery ones that have plenty of critters to haunt your nightmares. Well, since you’re lacking gills and fins, you’ve come to the right place. Come this way and check out the merchandise!
Our submarines range from your large crew vessels with plenty of living quarters to a single-person quick journey model. All of them come with armor plating that is designed to withstand the pressure of the sea. Paneling inside gives off enough warmth to make you comfortable, but not so warm that you get drowsy. All windows are triple-paned and the glass has been tested by our pet to make sure it can withstand blows that could shatter titanium. Every model is equipped with a beacon that our central computer can track in case of an emergency. You will not be told where this device is located because we don’t want you tampering with it. For your own safety, I assure you.
You want to talk about . . . Not color. Engines and power source are the first things on our list. This can help us narrow down the model that is best for you. We have nuclear, gas, oil, seaweed, solar, lunar, electric, pedal, and a few other types that you can see being demonstrated here. Ah, that one in the back is a curious one that many find a curiosity, but not worth buying. It is a biofeedback, which is a misnomer. You sit in the chair and put on that helmet, which displays a virtual landscape. It is your thoughts that direct the submarine and your hands hold onto those bars to give you extra control. It’s a wonderful method, but the user needs to remain focused. Distractions and panicking can result in a crash if you’re not careful. Pedal it is, so I assume you also want the free gym membership that comes with it. Only good for leg days.
Here is where our customers get that glint in their eyes. Weapons that can handle whatever the water has to throw at you. Our basic package includes four torpedo tubes, a single missile for any sky issues, and an array of harpoons. There are a few sonic weapons, but those come with several warnings. For example, you can hurt or kill the more sensitive creatures that happen to be in your way. Also, you may attract the attention of a male sperm whale and his randiness might be the only thing our armor can’t stand up to. I can put spikes and barbs on the armor to slightly protect, but we make no promises. Moving on, we have mine setters and a few close-range weapons. Buzz saws, piercing noses, and the like. They can help in some situations, but you have to be careful with slamming into things down there. Basic with two wing blades? You got it.
For the rest of the package, we have periscopes and other sensors. We have one periscope that is covered in a skin that makes it blend into its surroundings when exposed to sunlight. That means you can take a look without people noticing you. Sonar system is highly recommended and we don’t offer much variety on that. There are these surveillance drone swarms that we can connect to your computer for a higher visual. They may hit interference for an incomplete picture, but it isn’t for more than a second. What if they’re damaged? We replace them if you get the warranty, but the system can work as long as three remain. This is why we suggest that you only send the minimum out and keep the other eighteen around for spares. That’s only for the big ones while the thumb-sized clouds of drones can self-replicate to a point. They are programmed to not go beyond a certain number, so you maintain a perfect number regardless of issues. Yes, I thought you’d like that one.
Color and the other details can be handled in private. Looks like you have a bunch of people following you and taking notes. Don’t worry. They can’t take any pictures and steal our plans. Now, let’s look at the contract.