Welcome and try not to breathe in too much of the sulfur. We’re in the middle of a clearance sale, so the summonings are coming fast and a little sloppy. Oh, step around that puddle, which I assure you was a satisfied customer until they slapped their purchase on the rear. Succubi like being in control and they can get nasty if they think you’re insulting them. This is why we had you sign the form at the door and wait until all of the scans were done. Don’t want some pompous priest coming in here to ruin business for a day because they assume demons are always evil. Ill-tempered and prone to violence in many cases, but evil is rather extreme. Most of them only do what their masters tell them, which tends to be a lot of housecleaning and cooking these days. So, what are you looking for?
Ah, this is the best day to ask for a personalized job. We have spawn pits on the other side that help us design an unlimited amount of creatures. Any aspects that haven’t been seen before can be created by our Demon Lords. No, we don’t get our products from Hell because the tariffs on that place are insane. This is some alternate source called the Chaos Void, which we’re allowed to use for a smaller fee. Now, are you looking for battle, assassination, spying, romance, or simply to scare people? All five does make it harder to narrow things down, but let’s go over body types. We have lean, muscular, scrawny, bony, hairy, naked, skinless, short, fat, tall, and the list would keep going if something hadn’t eaten part of it yesterday. Towering male with dark purple skin and a collapsible rib cage is rather specific, but I’ll put it on the form. Yes, you can change to female or alter the color at any point.
Let’s get to the physical additions since clothing and weapons won’t be important until the demon is born. Please consider your home because they don’t like to be cramped and will destroy your neighbors for space. Then again, that isn’t a problem if you don’t get along with them, but that’s just my opinion. We have plenty of wings of various sizes and there’s a sale on them. Buy a pair of leather wings and get another free. Have leather wings that can transform into red-feathered ones under a full moon? That’s doable, but it will take an extra day since our enchanter is out with a sprained pinky finger. We have a wide variety of horns and spikes too. Good choice with the chest ones that come out when the demon compresses its body. My wife calls that the Blowfish Special. Anything around the head and face? I assure you that female demons can have large horns as well, but you can wait on that as well.
Where do you stand on claws? I only ask because we don’t recommend them if you plan on physically interacting with your demon or have pets. Surprisingly, they enjoy petting animals and don’t realize razor sharp talons can make it messy. Retractable is an option, but you will have to train him or her to be friendly with your dog. Sorry, we don’t have the services to transform your mastiff into a hellhound, but I can give you my mother’s card since she knows a guy. That’s our tail wall, which really should be switched out because the samples are starting to smell. Either that or we still haven’t found all of the bodies from last week’s accident. A bony tail is entirely possible. All you have to do is being one here and we’ll strip off the fleshy parts. Reptile tends to be the most flexible, but monkey is our top seller.
Now we come to special abilities and powers, which is where things can get a little pricey and dicey. There is a small catalog of stomach maws that range from close range to inhalers, which are the ones that act like a black hole. I would need you to sign another waiver if you pick one of those because deaths happen at times. Ah, that one isn’t too bad with an extendable jaw like a goblin shark. Regeneration can be done, but you would need to pick something that they are weak against. This is only to give you or us a way to put the demon down in an emergency. Sure, we can make them weak against toothpicks, but you better not bring your creature to anything with hors d’oeuvres. Magic tends to be more focused here, so pick an element. Sadly, we’re out of fire, which shouldn’t surprise anybody who gets here near closing. Control over ink . . . that will take some doing since it might require interbreeding water demons with squid-like ones.
That should cover it and I ask that you not tell us what you’re planning. We prefer to remain in the dark here. Yes, I know there aren’t many lights here, but that’s because I didn’t pay the electric bill. I gave it to an assistant and they had a mishap. Nothing lethal, but they may be trapped within the Plane of Shadows and I refuse to write another check. Last thing I want is to pay the bill and then he pops up again to finish his task. Guess I could send a demon to get him back. Just for that, I’ll throw in a Succubi charm ability for free. Fine, an Incubi if you now want a guy. Don’t be so wishy-washy, buddy.