Welcome to Olde Shoppe! No, we spelled those words that way on purpose to be funny and whimsical. Obviously we failed, but paint is in short supply these days. Don’t step on the roaches, buddy. The big ones will take offense and there goes one of your boots . . . along with the foot inside it. Now you seem to have a nice bag of goods to trade and the look of a man who knows not to ask how I got my wares. Oh, I guess you came from the west if you saw the delivery truck leaving. So, what do you need?
Yup, we’ve got food of all kinds. Fruit and vegetables that will last until tomorrow just came in from the local farms. Might not look like much, but they won’t turn your stomach if you eat them quickly. Though I don’t recommend the berries. The sign says blueberries, but I’m sure they aren’t supposed to smell like that. I’ve got a large assortment of dried meats too. Chicken, beef, goat, turkey, pork, venison, raccoon, rabbit, and the mystery meat that’s cheap. I promise it’s not human and I’ve been told that it brings back memories to school cafeteria food. Canned foods and cookies, huh? Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re adventurous with your meals.
Bullets are hard to find, but I think I saw a box of shotgun shells in the back. All of the weapons we have are loaded, so you can pick up a few pistols to keep the bullets and trade them at the next place. Just don’t tell anybody I suggested it. Yeah, machine guns are popular, but I have to be honest with you. Most people you meet with one of those things can’t even spell the word ‘aim’ and you can easily shoot them to take it for yourself. I see you eyeing that body armor. Military grade and worn only once by me because I wanted to make sure the straps work. There’s a manual somewhere around here. It was in a drawer, but the roaches moved it to the cabinet over there. They like to organize things.
That’s all you want? Let me give you some help with supplemental stuff because you won’t last long with only food and guns. I mean, you’ll get far, but you’re fucked if you face anyone with a brain. With everything you’re giving me, I can include a flashlight with batteries, a canteen that isn’t held together by duct tape, boots that match, a pair of pants that isn’t open in the front, an outdated map of Nebraska, and a Swiss Army knife. Why would you need that last part? It has a can opener and you’re buying a bunch of canned goods. How did you plan on eating without it? That’s why you wanted so many bullets. Well I have to admit that’s a new one on me. Maybe I should throw a helmet in just to be safe. No, I guess you wouldn’t get that joke.
That’s all I have to offer and I sense you’re ready to leave. Now if you’ll just follow me here, we can finish our trade. Again, try not to step on the . . . Oh . . . Guess you’ll only be needing the one boot now.
That looks like a screenshot from Fallout 3
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It is actually.
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I love the Olde Shoppe posts. There hasn’t been one for a while.
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Took me a while to think of new topics. There are a few more in the pipeline for next month.
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Cool.
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Hope so. Think one of them got a little wonky.
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I wonder if you carry grenades? I know meeting someone with a brain can be bad for one’s health. A grenade seems to be an equalizer. (Uh see if you have some frags)
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Those are expensive and we can’t guarantee quality. Suppliers aren’t exactly local or honest. Though I’d be more scared of the people without a brain. Smart ones are capable of knowing when not to attack and move along. Dumb ones tend to do whatever the movies suggest.
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Good advice. I will remember that as I move through Bedlam.
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Good luck with the journey. 😀
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Thanks (I think looking back at the author on the porch smiling broadly while I face the unknown)
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Uh, I don’t have a porch. That might not be the author.
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OoPs. Well the smile was unnerving.
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They tend to be in this world.
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😀
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Tee hee. Reminds me of the merchane in Diablo III who says “Most of my items have almost no blood left on them.”
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I only made it to Diablo 2 and quit after the computer ate my game for the second time. 😦 I do like that quote though.
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The voice actor sounds a lot like Chris Rock. Actually, I wonder if they got Chris Rock to do the voice for that bit.
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They have gotten big names for video games in the past. Not sure where you can find the voice acting list though.
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I’m sure it’s in the game credits.
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You might be able to find out on IMDb.com
Just search for Chris Rock, they might even have credits for the games, you never know.
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IMDB does have the credits listing, but I don’t see Chris Rock. No idea which character I’m looking for either.
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