This is a post that originally went live on July 22nd, 2013.  I’m putting it here because I’m tired and want to save other ideas for December.  Might make it a whole week of Retros to recover from the weekend.  Here we go.  (There are some really odd picture combos from that month.)

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So you want to write fantasy.  Well, let me load you up on everything you need to get yourself started.  Have some elves, dragons, dwarves, gnomes, magic, warriors, spellcasters, medieval weaponry, orcs, trolls, griffins, political intrigue, religious intrigue, thieves, and all the other standards you need.

Have all that?  Good.  Now throw and alter as much of that as you want.  Will it cause problems?  Of course it will.  People will tear into you for not respecting what came before you.  Keep all of it?  You can, but people will tear into you for being cliche.  Welcome to the genre, kid.  Each camp of fantasy fan thinks they’re the modern ones.  Kind of funny how they don’t realize they’re all old hat.

What’s the difference you ask?  Popularity, kid.  It’s whatever is popular now.  Give it some years and the other side of the coin will touch the sun.  For now, people think politics and religion are the fresh parts of the genre.  The truth is that those are being spiced up the best.  After all, I remember those types of stories from my youth.  Why not jump on the bandwagon?  Go right ahead.  It depends on what you want to do with your own story because in the end, you have to enjoy what you write.

Let me give you some pointers for both:

1. Going political?  Remember the whoever starts as king must be killed.  Not too early and not too late.  That way you have an empty thrown with all the established heirs and jackasses killing each other to get it.  Your choice if you want to reveal the winner beforehand.  Who’s the winner?  Typically, the guy that the narrator follows.  You can switch it up by continuously killing all your main characters.  Not a bad thing, but you have to be prepared for fallout.  A fan loses his or her favorite character and you’re going to get hate mail.  Also, you really should have some endgame in mind or else you’ll wake up one day with no clue who should be the new ruler.
2. What about the evil advisor?  It’s been done to death, but I’m sure it’s still there. Toss a few in and don’t make them look evil.  Only the people reading to see how you screwed up will take offense.  Be adventurous and have him win.  Don’t forget the facial hair too.  Probably go for the gusto and make him religious as well.  Whip up a dark god that used to be worshiped during the ‘bad times’ and have the advisor be one of the secret followers.
3. Heroes on a quest?  Now you’re going old school and are in for a world of hurt.  Carry around some dice because you’ll be accused of playing too much D&D.  It’s not as much of an insult as they think since D&D is based on Tolkien, whose epic tale is a quest involving good versus evil.  Guess the oldies are respected, but not to be imitated.
4. What kind of hero?  Well, you can go boyscout and have been complain about the cliche.  You can go anti-hero too, but people will complain about it being a cliche.  In fact, you’ll probably be accused of having a boring hero with no development that is similar to another character.  Expect that for everything you do because people love that accusation.
5. What kind of monsters?  Let’s skip this question because you’re fucked no matter what you do.
6. A lot of magic or no magic?  Whatever your heart desires. You’ll get in trouble for it some point.

Why am I talking all doom and gloom?  Because that’s what fantasy writing is these days, kid.  You pour your heart onto the page and enjoy the read.  Just gotta remember that everyone has different tastes and you’re not going to be enjoyable to a lot of people.  If you go against the current trend, you’re fucked.  If you follow the current trend, you’re fucked.  The goal should be to carve out a fanbase and write what you want to write.  Always think of yourself as your #1 fan because if you love what you write, it will show through your words.  The naysayers can suck a troll for all you care.  You’re not going to use trolls?  Your choice, kid.  It’s always your choice.