Bastet has requested that I tell the story of the crane in the store. This is another tale of my time as a Hollywood Video employee. In fact, this was during my 3-month stint as a store manager. They were closing the store before I got there and thought I could give it a last wind, which I did. Too little, too late.
So, I was opening the store and people were coming in slowly. I was tending to the returns and left the front door open for some air. Somebody had taken the copper or whatever out of one of the roof-mounted AC units, so the store was hot. Anyway, I saw something come into the store and thought nothing of it. Then my employee made a loud curse and dropped something. I went into the aisles to see what happened. I turned a corner to see this:
There was a mating pair of cranes at a nearby pond and they always wandered the parking lot. One of them decided to enter the store while its mate hung around the doors. The idea that I was about to get robbed by a pair of cranes crossed my mind. Also, that I was about to be mauled by a crane.
I tried making noise and scaring it out, but it wandered to the front and investigated the candy. I’m 5’5” and they are really serious about protecting animals down there, so I was stuck. I called my boss and got the following:
Me- I’ve got a problem.
Boss- I can’t come out to help you every time you have a small issue.
Me- There’s a crane in the store.
Boss- Construction or feathered?
Me- Feathers, beak, and it’s now stopping people from getting into the store.
Boss- Grab it and throw it out!
Me- I’m not wrestling a crane!
Boss- Throw bad movies at it.
Me- Will I have to pay for the damaged movies?
Me- Then no.
Boss- Only one thing you can do.
Me- Call animal control?
Boss- No. Give it a membership form and sign it up for our premiere customer program. Let me know how it turns out.
I didn’t know whether to hate him or applaud him for that maneuver. So, an hour passed with me trying everything to get the crane out of there without hitting it. I wasn’t winning this fight. Finally, one of our regular customers showed up and saw the crane. He was either a retired cop or a retired animal control person. I can’t remember which, but he laughed in the doorway. Then he looked at the crane, pointed outside, and bellowed ‘GET OUT!’ The crane simply walked out. I gave the man a few free rentals for that and marked down why in his file.
Did I ever encounter the cranes again? A few times, but most of them were cordial. They tried to get into my car once, but left when I honked the horn. I have an odd history with wild animals.