Due to some confusion, we (Ionia & Charles) feel that something should be made clear.
We aren’t married.
We are very close friends that care a lot about each other and are comfortable enough to tease and banter without holding back. To that end we are announcing our ‘Nonmarriage’ with this announcement:
You are all cordially NOT invited to the non-existent wedding of Ionia Martin & Charles Yallowitz.
Earl the invisible hillbilly will be the best man and Becky Sue the always pregnant redneck will be the maid of honor. All bridesmaids and flower girls have been graciously provided by Becky Sue.
These two shall NOT be exchanging vows beyond threatening each other with squirrels and short jokes.
Join neither of them for a non-existent banquet where you have to bring your own beer, the cupcakes are catalogue pictures, and the DJ is nothing more than Pandora.
Hope everyone enjoys the party that isn’t happening and remember:
We are Not married.