Briana Vedsted requested a post about writing and being a parent. So, I’m going to make the next few Wednesday posts a series about being a parent and an author. A humorous series that goes over the good, the bad, the ugly, and maybe a few stories.
Today, I’m going to explain some of the benefits to writing with a toddler in the house:
- No Need for the Radio– Sure, the DJ is stuck on the same song for a few hours, but you save electricity by not having the radio on. Just think of it as a type of hypnosis that allows you to zone out on your work. Also, you can interact with the toddler from your work station by singing along.
- Cardio!– Being sedentary is a bad idea because your body starts getting sluggish and lock up at times. That energetic toddler could be the key to your salvation from atrophy. When you hit a block or a point you can pause, get up and find that toddler. Check under tables and chairs. Once found, tickle that child and chase him/her around for 15 minutes. Play wrestling, horsey rides, and dancing can work too.
- Easy Snacks– Kids always have food on them by the afternoon. It can be a pain to stop writing and cook something or rummage through the cupboards. Locate that toddler and teach him/her about sharing whatever snack they have. If they snack is gone, but there are remnants then subtly get those. For example, kiss that pudding splotch on their cheek for a quick taste. Important note: DO NOT eat your child if they’re covered in ice cream.
- Thrilling Conversations– If you find yourself in an author’s bind then try talking it out with the child. You would be surprised how good a listener a toddler can be. They might even have some amazing insight. Not sure how to kill off your character’s girlfriend? Ask a toddler. It will be one of the most unique death scenes in the history of literature.
- Set an Example– Having a child can be very motivating in terms of reaching for your dreams. When you say ‘shoot for your dream’ or ‘you can do anything you put your mind to’, there will be some weight behind those words. Your child won’t look at you like an over-priced Hallmark card when they’re older and struggling to figure out what to do with their own life.
- Maintain an Acute Sense of Hearing– You work in one area while they’re on the go. It isn’t like you can follow them while typing on a computer or writing. Some of us get motion sickness. So, your hearing becomes your most important sense. This can help you write scenes where the hero has to work by sound or they’re on edge. The distant clanging of a pot or the subtle sound of the bathroom door closing can make you nearly superhuman in the auditory department. Also, the lack of noise helps build tension and atmosphere in both parenthood and writing.
- Hugs!– You’re in an emotional scene. It’s taking its toll on you and you’re tearing up whether you like it or not. Maybe it’s a scene of rage and you’re feeling your temperature rise. All of a sudden, you feel tiny arms wrap around your side and here ‘I have daddy!’ (Mommy if that’s your role.) Everything washes away and you smile at the little mini-you that simply wanted a hug. Better than energy drinks and coffee. Also, short-lived as the toddler climbs into your lap and proceeds to use your laptop like a piano that owes him/her money.
Legends of Windemere 
Amazing job, Charles. There were some parts of the post like the ‘Important note’ and the last line that really made me laugh out loud. 😀 🙂
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Thanks. Figured I would go for humor.
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Oh, I love this. Thanks so much Charles! 🙂
Liked the part about easy snacks!
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Oh my goodness, this is so funny!!! So true about the snacks! The car seat is a goldmine for crumbs! 😉 I’m glad you decided to go with this series.
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Thanks. The car seat in my car is loaded with goldfish crackers and cheerios. I clean it, but he always returns to ruin my hard work.
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Look what was in my Kindle Deals email this morning! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/ref=pe_170810_30733640_pe_row1_b4/?ASIN=B00AI58B5I
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That’s hilarious. I hope you show that to Ionia too.
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I find that I make better use of my time now that I have two children. When I find a moment of quiet to write I make efficient use of that oasis of calm.
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Two seems to have the advantage of them entertaining each other. I only have the one and he’s on a big ‘Daddy! Help!’ kick. This morning it was to get his socks on, get him out from under a chair, find his toy car (in his back pocket), and getting him out of the bathroom that he got himself stuck in.
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They do entertain each other—sometimes, but I haven’t had much luck writing when they are awake and revving their engines.
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Oh my, yes. This brought back memories – Tom never was very good at sharing the snacks, though! Great job!
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Thanks. I’ve found that comedic begging helps get food from children.
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That’s beautifully said and I loved the part where you don’t get to lick your child when he is covered in ice-cream 😀
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Actually, it was don’t eat your child. Licking the cheek for ice cream is legal.
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LoL! Totally 😀
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I needed that, it made me smile!! Beautifully executed. 😉
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Thank you. Glad to bring a smile to your face.
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Ha ha – excellent post! 🙂
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Love it Charles. Great work.
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Thanks. I had a little help from the toddler.
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I usually do as well
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They’re such helpful creatures. 😀
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What a creative post! I don’t have young children to write around but I am sure that would be interesting! Love the snack and exercise part the most! 😉
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Thanks. It was a lot of fun to write.
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I bet! Is the writing going better this week for ya?
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It’s been worse. The heat and toddler being home has done a number on my concentration.
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Ugh! So sorry to hear that, I hope the heat lets up soon and you can get back in the zone. Enjoy the little one in the meantime 🙂
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I can so relate to #6, you had me laughing!!! I swear I have super-human hearing!!! Great, great post!
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I react more to no noise than actual noise. Unless he’s in the kitchen.
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If you locate the mute button, can you let me know.
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Mine didn’t come with one.
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There goes my theory.
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Loved this post Charles! Children are such a blessing! We tend to overcomplicate things, while they look at things so simply. My children have made some of the most profound statements. Sometimes a child’s perspective is all we need.
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I agree. My son comes up with some very interesting arguments for his actions.
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This post is fantastic! And I can see myself in basically all the points!! Thanks for putting the information out there!
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You’re welcome. Everything learned from experience.
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I can relate!
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