I’ve been thinking a lot about the support that writers get when they are trying to ply their trade. I’m not talking about agents and publishers, but the people who are there to hold them up. I remember hearing a story about Stephen King’s wife pulling his first draft of ‘Carrie’ out of the trash, which I guess has become my gold standard of author cheerleader. This is an endearing story, but I wonder if it’s common.
My fear of not being supporting comes from a specific encounter. I met another fantasy author a long time ago. This author was brought into a workshop to talk about publishing and I guess to talk to the lone fantasy author in the room. That would be me. He self-published and made his own cover. I really don’t want to talk bad about somebody, but it was not a positive encounter. He was a nice guy and was happy to talk shop with another fantasy author. Yet, he said he had to trade a copy of his book for a tank of gas, lived off a box of donuts a week, and he hinted that his wife left him. I couldn’t tell if he was brought in to make me feel good about my choice or to be a cautionary tale. I was a lot younger and much easy to rattle back then. I’m finally starting to shake that fear and build up enough ambition and determination to push forward with the dream.
This is really a difficult thing to write about, but I want to get it off my chest. For a long time, I felt like people were making me feel guilty about wanting to pursue my writing. It meant I would be a ‘burden’ on my family and there was no guarantee of success. Today, I’m paranoid about how many of my supporters will actually buy my books when I start putting them out. It’s the big fear that I’ve been fighting these last couple of months. I’m well aware that I won’t succeed if the people around me refuse to support me by buying my books, reviewing my books, and spreading the word. A reader recommendation holds more power than an author telling people to buy his book. I’ve done this road twice before with self-publishing and both times ended in utter defeat.
I wanted to end this with a question, but I have no idea what to ask. This is really becoming more of a soul-bearing, revealing my current fear post, which I’ve come to learn is a dangerous type of post to make. So, I guess I’ll just end it here.
Legends of Windemere 
I’ll buy/read your book. I’m not much of a reviewer, but I’ll do my best.
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Thanks. I’ve learned after my two failed attempts that self-published and independent authors need word of mouth. A few friends and family bought my book, but never read it or talked about it. Makes me a little nervous about the third attempt.
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I just read every word you wrote. And, what you wrote about needing to be surrounded by supportive family and friends, other authors, the indie community, etc. is so true. There are a lot of really good and supportive people out there to help you along. If you want to connect with me for places to network feel free. Please friend, don’t ever give up on your writing, your passion if this is what you want to do. If you are connected to someone who isn’t supportive then try as best you can to just protect your writing boundaries around that person and find others who will be supportive. There’s nothing you wrote I haven’t gone through or experienced, believe me, and at times it was painful, I get it. Writers are human and we all have our fears; of no one liking our work, of rejection, of being smashed down, etc. But in this mix, with all these crazy emotions, lies the passion that somehow propels us to continue despite all the resistance and so we do, writers write. The rest is really out of our hands. Please don’t let your fear ever stop you from writing. Big cyber hug to you, Paulette
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Thank you. I’m finally starting to connect with other authors through this website and wandering around. I had a lot of years where I was made to feel like my writing should only be a hobby and that I couldn’t take the risk. I never gave up writing, but I went down to simple outlining and character designs whenever I had the time. The only positive out of this is that I have stacks of notebooks and more book ideas than I can possibly write in a lifetime.
The frustrating part has been that for the longest time it felt like people thought I was being a dreaming fool. The passion I demonstrated whenever talking about my stories seemed to go unnoticed by a lot of people. Even now, I have a lot a people who are merely staying out of my way to allow me to write, which I guess is a step in the right direction.
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I hear you loud and clear, my friend. I share many of those doubts, especially after aborted exchanges with agents, and the pile of rejection letters. I’m lucky in that I have an incredibly supportive family, but when I’m alone, wishing I was writing or developing a piece, it feels selfish. I don’t know what the answer is, other than to continue to work. One day we’ll get it.
I read this post today on another blog I follow and found it apropos. http://killzoneauthors.blogspot.com/2013/01/but-i-want-success-now.html#.UQamfh1EGSo
Best of luck!
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Thanks for the post. It definitely puts things in a more manageable perspective. I remember asking an author who was a professor at my school if he had any tips and he simply said, “No. It’s mostly luck and timing.”
I found a way to counter the feeling of loneliness or selfishness that comes from isolated writing is to take breaks specifically to interact with people. Though, I work at a dining room table and have learned to jump off and on a task without breaking my stride. Years of forced practice on that one.
After a while, I stopped taking offense at the rejection letters and developed the ‘their loss’ or ‘guess they weren’t right for me either’ mentality. My problem came from when family tried to talk me out of following this. That was what hurt and I’m still working on earning the acceptance of a few family members. It does help that my wife has taken on the role of rabid attack dog whenever someone tries to dissuade me.
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Hmmm I never had anyone try to talk me out of writing. I think that is odd, and I wonder why they would care.
My husband is not a creative type (he’s a geeky, left brain, facts and logic sort of guy) and not particularly interested in my writing, and reads mostly professional journals and rarely for pleasure. In short, he would not be pulling the first draft of my novel out of the trash.
I think that in the end you can only rely on yourself, and your dogged determination, and you cannot be too concerned with earning the “acceptance” of others.
Just an aside, I love that bit about your encounter with the fantasy author. That’s good stuff.
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Thanks and I agree with you that I have to depend on myself. The difficulty is that it was family that was trying to talk me out of it. It comes off more as pushing for discussions on the topic of me failing to get published or other negative thought patterns. There’s also this bizarre habit of people talking to me when I’m writing in my notebooks as if they see me sitting there staring off into space. I’ve actually jumped up and waved my notebook around to see if it got a reaction. Usually, they asked if I had to pee or said that they had a simple question that tended to involve food or something in the comics section of the paper.
The truth of my life is that I come from a practical family of teachers, accountants, and office workers. My generation of the family consists of 2 lawyers, 1 teacher, 1 doctor, 1 thinking of becoming a doctor, and a biochemist (my sister). I stick out like an extra finger that’s on the back of the hand because I’m going for the artistic job. So, it’s been a real battle to explain why I believe I can succeed while they aren’t fans of the risk I’m taking. It probably won’t happen until I get my book out and can show them a paycheck that can get me more than a large combo meal at Burger King. Sadly, every royalty check I got off my previous attempts weren’t enough for that large combo meal.
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Anyone who writes definitely needs the support and understanding of other writers and friends and family. I think as we talk about each other’s work, we not only spread the word for each other, we learn from each other and we cheer each other up.
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Very true. I think writers are able to have an understanding of each other that others aren’t able to jack into. We’ve all been through similar trials in pursuing our dreams and know what it takes to keep on moving.
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