Legends of Windemere

Now, I’ve tried to do writing on a plane.  At least back when I was able to afford tickets and had a reason to go.  There are plenty of ways to make this a fun event even if you’re crammed into a small seat with a stranger nearly on your lap.  Noise, attitude, tension, and all the fun of air travel.  That’s just getting through security too.  Anyway, here are 7 ways to get work done when on a plane:

1. Most importantly, listen to George Carlin.  Get in the plane.  Safety aside, you can’t get a flight attendant to come out to the wing and those wings are not notebook friendly.  I don’t think there are outlets there either.  Oh, and you might take a migrating bird to the nose.
2. Do not trust the odd indent in the tray table.  It looks like a cup holder and probably can contain the small cups they give you.  The whole thing is a two-sided trap designed to ruin notebooks and laptops.  One jolt of turbulence and you get a spill.  If not from the cup then the half full can of liquid that won’t fit in the cup and has nowhere to go because you only have one half-baked cup holder.
3. Take advantage of the pocket on the back of the chair in front of you.  Perfect for putting notes, the stapler that security stopped you about, extra pencils that security wouldn’t let you sharpen, and other necessary supplies.  The best part about this is that when you’re reminded to look for everything you may have brought on board, you know they’re talking to you.  Let’s be honest though.  Something is getting left behind and resulting in you trying to sneak back onto the plane.
4. Having trouble with a scene?  Well you have a captive listener right next to you.  Bring candy along to make friends or promise them a cameo in the story.  Worst case scenario, you might have to show interest in their lives.  Be careful with that one since it could talk longer than you expected.
5. They have tiny bottles of alcohol.  Factor that into your budget if that’s your thing.  If not then there are some other goodies that you can indulge in.  Just because you’re sitting in coach doesn’t mean you can’t pretend to be an author in first class.
6. If turbulence is too much to write comfortably then it’s the perfect time to people watch.  Crying babies, stressed parents, bellowing jackasses, drugged first time fliers, that couple doing what everyone knows they’re doing, the snoring guy that has blocked you from getting to the bathroom, and so many interesting people.  Uh, stop staring at the couple, buddy.  Don’t be creepy.
7. Daydreaming can count as progress if you aim it correctly.  Let’s be honest.  Sometimes a plane is too bumpy, cramped, and smelly to focus.  Blast your music and you get complaints from those who were interrupting your work.  Just stare ahead, refuse to blink, and laugh at random intervals.  I’m sure nothing will seem suspicious.