The Mapper Market: Yes, We Have Sextants. Stop Giggling.

Gont from Earthsea

Welcome to the most popular mapper store on this block of the city.  Hey, this is a long street and there are five others, so don’t roll your eyes about it. We worked hard for that reputation. Now, you must be setting out to become a mapper. I assume you have the correct paperwork, which proves you went through the correct training? The forgery detection spell says you’re good, so congrats on making it through your apprenticeship and studies. Did you have a field teacher or a book teacher? Ouch, the field ones are always the toughest ones.  That means you’ll be needing some durable equipment.

First thing we need to get you is a blank map book and a case bundle.  Believe it or not, we have a variety of these things.  You can go with the non-magical types, but those can be stolen and destroyed when on a job.  Now, the case enchantments range from sticky ones that can adhere to the inside of your jacket to collapsible.  That one doesn’t damage what is inside and can be shrunk to the side of a coin.  I recommend those for mappers who plan on having a large collection.  It would also mean you need a book that has removable and regenerative pages.  That’s our more popular model.  By the way, you can only draw maps in here.  The magic gets angry if you attempt to make a picture.  Doodles are okay because who doesn’t do that.  Just be careful when bored.  One guy tried to draw his girlfriend in the nude and it sealed her in the book.  She was really angry when she got out, especially since he went to a lot of specialists to get her out and they all saw her in the buff.

Let’s be honest.  You want the toys.  We don’t have many packages like those other types of shops because every mapper is different.  Here’s an eyepiece that has a knowledge crystal on the end.  Each one has a category like flora, fauna, history, changes over time, and cultures, which you can use to make notes on your map.  They only know what has already been discovered, so you can add to it and bring your crystals back for sharing. We pay for updated info if that helps.  That got your attention. It goes very well with a climate prediction ring, which analyzes the residual natural magic to get a feel for what the patterns are.  It isn’t a great item because it can be confused by the use of lightning and other climate-like spells.  Still, it can help you with making ocean charts since it can tell you about the wind and tide patterns.

Now for the most important tool for a new mapper.  You need something to help you find your way.  Compasses are nice and all, but they can run into problems with some areas. Hit the middle of the ocean or a chaos magic region and you may never be seen again.  I prefer the Northern Jewel earrings that give you a subconscious sense of where you’re going. It can be a little unnerving and you have three minutes of disorientation whenever you put them back on, so field mappers have issues with them.  This direction item is one that you spin over your head to create a fist-sized tornado that will travel south.  A little dangerous to use in a city, but it can make for a good backup. The list can go on and on when it comes to these things.

So, let me know what you’re planning and . . . I guess we could give you the non-magical basics.  I’d recommend an atlas to study though.  Many mappers have come before you and their spirits would appreciate you using their work.  Just something to consider.  We have a pocket atlas if you’re worried about space.  Fine, do things the hard way.  Crazy kids and their death wishes.

Posted in Olde Shoppe Stories | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Testing Opening Scene for ‘War of Nytefall: Loyalty’

Mab by Kayla Matt

(Figure I’ll share and see how the one piece I got came out.  This is the opening for the Prologue, which has yet to be edited.)

Nestled in a valley that follows the sun’s daily path, the central temple of Durag is bustling with activity. The citizens of the small town, which has developed around the holy spire, hurry to get their chores and errands done before the noon execution. Whispers about the prisoner mix with the excited discussions about what the rare event will entail, the conversations causing many to lose track of time. Hundreds of picnicking groups have already gathered on the hillsides in order to get a clear view of the cobblestone circle where four priests are kneeling and praying to the Sun God. The Duragians’ naked bodies are cloaked in thin shadows as they absorb all of the light that touches them. People cheer whenever one of them stands for a second and quietly stretches, the motion done to prevent their legs from cramping. In spite of the open celebration and happiness, there is an undercurrent of fear that is enhanced by the presence of armored guards. The soldiers constantly patrol the dirt roads, their clanking footsteps showing that they are not trying to hide. Security becomes thicker and more varied as one comes closer to the yellow and orange tower, which is topped with a blazing piece of sun quartz. Battle priests block the entrance to the temple, their bodies and staves glowing bright enough to wash away all of the nearby shadows. None of the men and women show any emotion beyond the occasional glint of fear at the sound of chains being rattled within the building.

Only one person finds the display disgusting and nerve-wracking as she weaves through the streets. Protected by an invisibility spell and moving without a sound, Mab is thankful that she has no heartbeat. If she did, the organ would have popped due to the fear of being within the den of the vampires’ greatest enemy. Stopping in an alley, the short and lean burglar waits for a squad of knights to pass by. Listening to their conversation, she moves to the other entrance and adjusts her course to make sure she reaches her target. Another group is in her way, the warriors joined by a battle priest who is telling them where to stand during the execution. She hugs her black cloak tight around her body, the special garment the only thing blocking the sun and preventing her from losing her powers. The idea of being exposed and weakened makes her stomach twist, but she ignores the sensation in order to step into the street once the men and women have moved on.

Not seeing anyone in her way, Mab sprints down the road and glances back to see that she is leaving puffs of dirt in her wake. Hearing a thudding footstep before seeing the knight, the vampire leaps onto a rooftop and remains crouched next to the chimney. She waits for the man to be below her before creeping to the left-hand edge and leaping to the next building. Pausing as soon as she lands, she relaxes when the enemy continues on his way and a minute passes without any signs of her being noticed.

“Can’t believe we finally got him,” a woman says in the alley below. Curious about the conversation, Mab whispers a spell to make sure her invisibility holds and climbs down to a nearby window sill. “Clyde sure caused a lot of trouble. Guess he should have stuck to being a thief instead of adding killing to his list of crimes. He probably would have been ignored if he didn’t cross that line. Think they’ll ever find all the stuff that he and his gang stole? I mean, the Duragians have to want those holy tomes back at least.”

“I heard they deemed those corrupted and won’t go looking,” an older man replies with a chuckle. He stares directly at the hiding vampire, but merely takes out a flask to sneak a small drink. “Probably for the best since his gang is still out there. Have to wonder how bad they are considering the monster they followed. Clyde may have only gone violent a few months ago, but he really made an impact. I heard a rumor that he did it because some paladins wiped out some friends of his.”

“I heard it was because they caught and tortured him.”

“Why would they do that instead of kill him?”

“Maybe they wanted information on the royals since he’s supposed to be a friend of Xavier Tempest.”

“That makes sense. Guess his attacks were oddly vengeful.”

“Hope his gang tries to break him out.”

“Why hope for that?”

“Because then all of them will be destroyed like they deserve.”

“Good point.”

The mortals freeze when they hear a low growl and they look around for the source of the noise. Instead of attacking, Mab climbs back to the roof and grips a chimney hard enough to crack the bricks. She swiftly takes a jar of blood off her belt and drains it in one quick movement, the crimson meal helping her regain control. The temptation is still needling at the vampire’s brain, but she pulls out a silver chain with a gold bauble that resembles an ear of corn. Clenching it in her fist, she thinks back to when Clyde stole the worthless piece on a dare and their partnership began. All of the tight spots they have been in over the last two hundred years flood her mind and she pockets the jewelry to make sure her hands are free. A small cut on her porcelain skin causes her to pinch the wound until it heals, the idea of leaving even a drop of stagnant blood behind making her twitch.

With a renewed urge to save her friend and escape the area, Mab bounds and races across the rooftops. Birds are disturbed by her presence and a stray cat hisses, but none of the locals pay the animals any mind. Coming to the edge of the small town, she silently drops between two archers and races forward as they turn around. She barely hears them accusing each other of making contact as she comes to the spire. Remembering the cell location that one of her friends extracted from a kidnapped priestess, Mab hurries around to the back. The enchantment stone is uncomfortably warm to the touch, but she finds that she does not burn like she feared. Gazing up the wall, she can barely make out a window that is barred and gives off a light that looks like it is evaporating into the sky.

Using her favorite trick, Mab grows metallic claws that easily push into the stone and allow her to climb. A slight pain ripples along her arms as she touches more of the holy magic that is within the spire, but she ignores it and powers through the numbness. Eventually, the strange sensation is nothing more than an itch, which allows her to move a little faster. The vampire takes her time and avoids going near any of the other windows, the muffled voices giving her enough time to adjust her ascent. Once she is thirty feet off the ground, the cautious burglar hisses another spell that masks the holes she has made. Hugging the wall, she listens as a guard passes below and never breaks stride.

Mab is about to continue when a young priestess sticks her head out of a window that is only a few feet to the vampire’s right. She hangs there as the red-haired elf stares directly at her and squints as if she sees something. For a moment, it appears that the stranger is about to reach out and touch the burglar’s side. Preparing to grab the extended limb and toss the mortal to her death, Mab remains still until she is sure there is danger. The priestess’s fingers are an inch away when the spire shakes and forces her to go back inside. Another violent impact threatens to dislodge the vampire, who rushes up the wall and stops just under her target. She starts to raise her head into view, but ducks back down when a searing heat skims her hair. To her horror, the billowing light has knocked her hood off to reveal her short, brown hair to the sun and her powers begin to vanish. Before she loses her claws and plummets to the ground, Mab swiftly covers herself again and revives her invisibility spell.

“You better not say you’re here to rescue me or ask if I’m in here,” a deep voice says from inside the cell. The rattling of chains nearly drowns out the long sniff that the prisoner ends with a low sigh. “Caught your scent a while ago and was hoping you wouldn’t be stupid enough to try this. Used the last of my strength to shake this place, which was supposed to knock you down. I assume the others are somewhere around here.”

“Titus, Bob, and Luther are on the edges with the rest of your shock troops. Chastity stayed behind and Kenneth is waiting for me on the hills,” Mab responds, her claws growing long enough to push into the room. She bites her lip to prevent a yell in response to the pain of her nails getting snapped off. “What are you doing, Clyde? They’re going to kill you if you don’t get out now. Xavier sent some help too if you’re worried about us being outnumbered. We all believe you’re worth saving, so don’t be a jerk.”

“Better a jerk than an idiot,” the prisoner states, his badly burned arm stretching through the bars. His charred skin falls off his fingers as he wiggles them and the bones starts to crack before abruptly healing. “They have at least fifty chains on me because I’ve nearly escaped twice. Tried to do it without killing since I didn’t want to give them too many reasons to pursue me. You’re the best at picking locks, Mab, but even if you could do it in time, the light in here will put you on the chopping block too. It’s a new spell that they made just for me. Burns my body to the bone and then heals it to start again. Guess I really pissed these bastards off, huh?”

Against her better judgement, Mab laughs along with her friend who she fears has given up on escaping. “Well, you did try to steal one of their holiest relics. Not to mention spreading all those rumors about you killing a lot of them. Seems you lied and tricked your way into a big mess, which only I can get you out of. There’s a window below that I can knock on and sneak inside once the juicy morsel opens it. I’ll save part of her for you if you need it. Please tell me that you’re not giving up. It isn’t like you.”

The air next to Mab shimmers and becomes the translucent form of a tall man wearing all black. His black hair rolls down to the middle of his back until he ties it into a ponytail that whips in the wind. Sparkling blue eyes peer into the green irises of the other vampire, who shakes her head to avoid being hypnotized. With a small shrug, the illusion takes a seat on the wall and picks at loose threads that keep appearing on its clothing. For a brief moment, the outer layer of the construct vanish and the toned body is left exposed, flickering scars appearing to mimic the current condition of his true form. The fake Clyde flashes its fangs and licks his lips before conjuring a beating heart in his hand.

“I don’t know what I’ve done,” he explains before taking a bite. Peeking through the window, he sighs at the sight of his mangled form an instant before it abruptly heals. “That is getting very tiring. Look, I got myself into this mess after all of you were telling me the heist was a bad idea. My own fault for listening to a seer . . . and then draining him instead of keeping him around. I’ll consider this a learning experience and meet you guys later. No reason for anyone to get hurt or killed on my behalf.”

“You’re up to something,” Mab whispers in a low voice. A distant blast of magic is met by echoing cheers, a sign that most of the town is in position for the execution. “This isn’t the time to do something crazy. Whatever you’re planning can be done another way. Just come back with me and tell the gang. All of us together can make it work like we always have. For all that is unholy and blighted, stop making this difficult.”

“You’re rather pathetic when begging.”

“This is a stupid way to die, Clyde.”

“But according to the seer, I am not meant to die here.”

“Yes, you’re going to die about two miles away in an execution circle.”

“Don’t worry because everything has been taken care of.”

A blast of light strikes the illusionary figure, which dissipates into a mist that covers the invisible burglar. Looking down at the startled priests, Mab remains still until she is sure they have spotted her. A volley of beams erupt from the Duragians, but the spells are absorbed by the thin layer of Clyde’s aura that sloughs off his friend’s body. The solidified magic becomes a thick sheet of energy that explodes upon impact. Clanging footsteps and a chorus of screams erupt from the warriors that turn the corner in time to get hit by the blinding flash. Several minutes pass before anyone can see again and they quickly scan the area for Mab. All they find is an abandoned pure black cloak that is burned around the edges and an unconscious archer who has been stripped naked.

Posted in Sneak Peeks | Tagged , , , , , , | 21 Comments

50% off — War Eternal – Angels’ Whispers by J. F. Cain #fantasy #romance #deals

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Questions for Chaos Elves!

Queen Trinity By Kayla Matt

These are the questions and answers from Monday’s post.  Enjoy!

L.Marie asked a chaos elf: “If you didn’t have to work for the Baron, what would you do instead?”

Answer: ‘This is difficult because you would get a different answer from nearly every chaos elf.  Without the Baron, they would be free to pursue their actual interests and retain their old culture.  Many have escaped his influence, but they typically have to live in hiding or in disguise because the chaos elves are still hated.  So even then, they can’t do whatever it is they really want to do.’

John W. Howell asked Queen Trinity: “Would you like to be considered a hero or are you okay doing the Baron’s work?”

Answer:  ‘This depends on who you ask since it isn’t such a black and white situation.  I do what the Baron asks because refusing means my people suffer and could even be wiped out.  To them, I’m a hero for all my sacrifices on their behalf.  The rest of Windemere doesn’t see this and have dubbed me a criminal, but it isn’t like they would do anything else.  Personally, I’m not concerned with being called a hero or a villain as long as the chaos elves are safe and no longer suffer.  Call me a monster if you want since that’s not my concern right now.  As far as being okay with what the Baron has me do, I can’t say I am, but I have no alternatives.  The best I can do is minimize the death and destruction that I cause, which isn’t as easy as you would think.  Act too nice and I’m given a long list of assassination jobs to make sure I’m still loyal. Fail those and the Baron punishes my people, so I do them.  Like I said, it isn’t a black and white situation.’

Deby Fredericks asked Queen Trinity: “What is the future you dream of for your people?”

Answer: ‘Freedom and peace.  My dream is for my people to no longer live in fear of a tyrant’s wrath or only dream about seeing the sun.  It will take a long time, but I really hope the chaos elves are accepted by the rest of Windemere.  We’ve spent so long in the shadows and being feared that it feels unattainable some days.  Helping the champions might be the first step we need to reach a future that most other species take for granted.’

Posted in Ask a Character, Legends of Windemere | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Goal Post: The Week the Universe Kept Smacking People

First, I made a post on Thursday with a volunteer thing and a poll.  Feel free to go HERE and submit and vote.  I will mention that this is for 2 different October posts: The Friday Monster Maker and the Monday Windemere Monster Profile.  Still no idea what to do with Wednesdays there.  Now, let’s compartmentalize since nobody has complained yet.  Seriously, if you prefer these posts with just paragraphs and no divisions then let me know.

The Laptop

ROUND FREAKING 3!  Yes, my laptop is having trouble with the sound again.  This is after two speaker replacements and a total reinstall of Windows 10.  I’m refusing to send it in for repairs because this is ridiculous.  They’re calling later today to see what’s going on since the problem keeps disappearing.  Also, I found that if I press around the left hand side over the speaker, the issue goes away.  Honestly, I spent 3 years with a laptop that would randomly spit out its hard drive because of a stripped screw hole.  Guessing this kind of issue can be survived and handled.  Just so tired since this mess has cost me so much time over the summer.

Legends of Windemere: Path of the Traitors

I’ve gotten nearly everything set up and raring to go.  Just need a final piece and then I’ll publish and promote.  Kind of kicking myself lately because I’ve directed more attention to the December finale than Book 14.  Trying to remedy that with making September about Path of the Traitors.  Let’s be honest here.  I’ve routinely had issues with my release dates with this series.  Things break, files disappear at the final hour, life gets in the way, and all manner of disasters.  My personal favorite is still a tooth shattering an hour after I hit publish.  Actually, the whole mess with Life & Times of Ichabod Brooks and the first laptop collapse might need to take the top spot.  Just please know that I’m working as fast and hard as I can.

War of Nytefall: Loyalty

This was the big project that I was going to work on since I had the house to myself.  I was going to start it Wednesday with gusto.  Then life happened and I didn’t get to touch it until Friday for a bit.  I realized that to start a new project, I needed to be in the right mood to make sure I get it right.  Might post the first, unedited scene tomorrow afternoon if people are curious.  Clyde came out with a lot more confidence and calm than expected and a young Mab was a bit more caring.  Still deciding on if I want the Prologue to happen 50, 100, or 500 years before Chapter 1 when Clyde is freed from his prison.  Being vampires, all can work.  Leaning toward 50 to avoid it going for too long.  Don’t want Windemere to change a lot since he got buried.  Hoping to get more done this week if things go smoother.

The Son

Third grade started this week and with it came morning tension.  He wasn’t able to keep his food down, which caused a lot of messes.  School was fine and he seemed to relax as soon as he got on the bus, but home was left . . . icky.  This is a big reason I didn’t get into writing because I lost my mojo after cleaning everything, running errands, and trying to figure out a way to stop this.  Hopefully next week is easier now that it seems he can make it to lunch without getting hungry.  Once he wants to eat breakfast, he’ll get it.  For now, I’m not going to push.

It was also a busy martial arts week.  Early today, he got his first yellow stripe, which he has been excited about all week.  Took a while to make him understand that it was a stripe and not the belt.  He’s doing really good too considering he’s new and has a lot of trouble focusing at times.  By the way, asking him to demonstrate a take down is not a bright move when you’re on a wooden floor.  Celebrating the stripe with lunch at Sonic and then I have to be home for the computer call.

Next week, might be better here, but it will depend on homework too.  It seems it won’t be as bad as I heard since he’s special education.  My biggest worry is that homework and martial arts might conflict.  A lot will depend on when he comes home, I guess.

Life

Other things happened that required more attention than my writing.  I can’t go into them because they’re fairly private.  So, it’s hard to tell what’s going to happen in terms of my publishing and writing schedule.  Friends and family come first here, especially when the situation is rough.

Maybe I’ll just take things day by day in terms of everything.  I’ve been stressed for too long and it feels like I can only control so much.  My body is still trying to get used to the sleep apnea device, which makes it that I’m getting more oxygen as I sleep.  Better quality, but I’m still used to 4-5 hours, so I’m groggy at random intervals.  It’s slowly getting better though.  Even got a 7 hour night earlier in the week, which felt strange.  Not really sure how it’s helping with the stress because it still feels like I’m getting hit from all sides and every step is a mistake.

I need to get better at streamlining my mornings too.  Too much on the computer and then biking, which means I don’t get to writing until around 10:30-11.  This doesn’t really work out well when I’m trying to write 2 sections before the kid comes home at 3:30ish.  There’s a lunch break in there too.  War of Nytefall takes a little longer to get going than Legends of Windemere since it’s new and I’m feeling out the characters.  This might be the last project of 2017 to make sure it comes out right.  Still trying to figure out what to do about cover art for it too.  Funds are getting terrifyingly low since sales are still at bad summer levels.  I’ve heard from a lot of authors that things just aren’t moving, so I’m getting worried about the future again.  Been doing weekly job hunts online to see if anything is out there that could work, but not having much luck.  Nearly everything I find seems like it would only pay for gas, food, and after-school stuff for the kid to do homework at until one of us can get him.

New Fan Art from Kayla Matt: Legends of Windemere 1-10 Cast

Goals

  1. Write more War of Nytefall: Loyalty
  2. Help kid with homework
  3. Bring car for oil change
  4. Figure out how to streamline morning stuff
  5. Work on October posts for Monster Maker and Windemere Monsters
  6. Read more manga when no time for anything else
  7. Ignore computer issues because I give up
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What is Steampunk? – Guest Post by, Jaq D Hawkins…

Chris The Story Reading Ape's avatarChris The Story Reading Ape's Blog

A lot of readers have found it confusing to negotiate their way through book lists under the heading of Steampunk. They find Mysteries, Young Adult, Romance and an inordinate number of stories with vampires, zombies and werewolves for a genre that isn’t Horror. They come across Adventure stories, many of them in the YA camp, airships and mechanoids. So what is it that actually defines a story as Steampunk?

Well, the simple answer is alternative forms of energy, i.e. steam and clockwork technology instead of fossil fuels. Steampunk tends to be set in either Victorian England or the Wild West. Usually there is an airship involved somewhere, steam powered of course.

The complication comes in when you realise that these elements can apply in any genre, even Horror, as Whitechapel Gods by S.M. Peters demonstrates. So how did a novel with gruesome mutilations get into the same category as…

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Crests of the Baron’s Mortal Sins

Temple of Utu from Final Fantasy

Six families stood
At the peak of their world
Some kind and pure
Others selfish and cruel
Yet they worked in one circle
Maintaining balance
For good and ill

Six families danced
To greet a friend from afar
A man of strength
Risen from a life of show
Carrying scars of battles
One of which he masked
With a smile of malevolent benevolence

Six families fell
Their blood flowing
Down every hall and wall
No heirs to carry on
Devoured by history
Leaving behind the crests
That no living soul shall touch

Posted in Legends of Windemere, Path of the Traitors, Poems | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

Celebrate International Literacy Day With Some Amazing Giveaways

Nicholas C. Rossis's avatarNicholas C. Rossis

Today is International Literacy Day 2017. The theme for this year is “Reading the Past, Writing the Future.” As UNESCO’s Director-General explains,

The world has changed since 1966 – but our determination to provide every woman and man with the skills, capacities, and opportunities to become everything they wish, in dignity and respect, remains as firm as ever. Literacy is a foundation to build a more sustainable future for all.”
– UNESCO Director-General

Fifty years ago, UNESCO officially proclaimed September 8th International Literacy Day to promote literacy as an instrument to empower individuals, communities, and societies.

Azure Fire Publishing / FSFNet Sale Event And Slack Channel

 FSFNet International Literacy Day | From the blog of Nicholas C. Rossis, author of science fiction, the Pearseus epic fantasy series and children's books

In honor of this, Azure Fire Publishing / Fantasy and Science Fiction Network have scheduled an A4 (Ask An Author Anything Day) event and created an open Slack channel where anyone can talk to an author member of the FSFNet community, whether…

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Monster Make 2017: Foundations Needed (Also, a Windemere Monster Poll)

Young Frankenstein Lab

Well, people wanted it, so Monster Maker is going to be returning in October.  I’m thinking having it every Wednesday and using Monday to come up with something that promotes Path of the Traitors.  Friday will connect to the poll below.

Anyway, this is an October event that involves me getting strange, unreal words and turn them into monsters or magical items/relics.  You can see some examples HERE.  I might spread it to more than once a week if I get a lot of volunteers.  The guidelines are simple:

  1. Give no more than 3 words.
  2. Use nonexistent words instead of things that actually exist.
  3. Have fun with it.

Thankfully, I’ve done this enough to get the kinks out of the system.  So, I won’t get 12 lists with 10 words each or a bunch of animals that already exist.  I mean, a gorilla is a gorilla even in Windemere.

Finally, below is a large poll for the Friday post that will highlight 4 Windemere monsters for a behind-the-scenes stuff.  I didn’t include dragons and drites because I’m sure that would win and I’ve talked about them before. I did this in 2015 for 2 a week too, so I removed the winners of that ‘Windemere Monsters’ one too.  Here we go and I hope people vote even if they don’t have words for Monster Maker.

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On the Edge of My World, on #LisaBurtonRadio

coldhandboyack's avatarEntertaining Stories

Lisa Burton

Coming at you with one point twenty-one jigawatts of power, this is Lisa Burton Radio. The only show on the air that brings you the character from the books you love. With me today is Pepper, from Vernon Hills, Ohio. “Welcome to the show, Pepper.”

“Greetings and salutations, Lisa. That means hello in human speak.”

“My bio say’s you’re a senior in high school. My understanding of humans is that’s a time of major stress and growth. It has to be tough in a small town where there’s no place to hide for a few minutes.”

“When you live in Vernon Hills, Indiana with the population size of 4,350, everyone does know the color of your underwear which was likely purchased at the local bargain bin. The overly Christian local yokels also won’t allow you to get past your tales of personal woe. Well… I’ve said enough about that, I…

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