I remember when a new year would feel like a change.  There was a sense of a fresh start and things could be left in the past.  Oddly enough I think this sensation only existed in elementary school and college.  The time in between and after always had years that reminded me that years are a human construct.

So, this week was all about work and parenting.  The weather was frigid until Wednesday, but it got cold at night.  This meant I had maybe 3 hours of usable decent weather time all week.  All other attempts to get fresh air were met with cold temps, darkness, wind, and a park cop telling me to leave as I made my way to my car.  I’m not running or power-walking, so I’ll get to where I’m going eventually.  Scarred area is still sensitive, especially to cold temps.

Sadly, writing didn’t really happen.  I opened Darwin & the Joy Path one evening in the hopes getting some of it done.  Instead, I got pulled away by urgent texts and other stuff going around on this side of the laptop.  My son wasn’t even here, so I can’t say I was parenting.  By the time everything was cleared up, I was so exhausted that I decided it was better to get extra sleep.  Tried again Friday night, but my fatigue from the week had caught up with me.

I’m hoping that I can get 4 sections done this weekend.  It’s supposed to be really rainy, especially this afternoon.  So, I’m going to finish chapter 12 this morning before hitting the park for an hour before the storm arrives.  With any luck, I can start chapter 13 before I go out to an event at the mall.  Tomorrow should be easier with no events going on.  It should work out because the 4 sections are all traveling and talking after three chapters that were predominantly action.  If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to finish Darwin & the Joy Path by the end of February.

Something else I put off for a while is the March blog posts.  I’ve got 15 of them to do with a few being fairly easy to write up.  My method was typically doing the posts while my son got ready for bed or did homework.  That hasn’t been possible due to fatigue and having other things to do.  This is why ‘Phi Beta Files’ hasn’t moved much either.  If a month hits and I’m not done with the posts then I’m going to have a problem.  I can’t write them in ‘real time’.  Given how chaotic April is going to be, I might make that a month of revived posts from the early days.  Looking back, my recovery throughout December is another reason I’ve slowed down.  I couldn’t sit on my desk chair or keep my laptop on my lap due to my issues.  It took all day simply to write a chapter section intermittently as long as the meds or pain didn’t knock me out.  Guess I’m still recovering in some ways.

I know this is all negative . . . Not sure where I was going with that one.  Look, it’s been a rough week with not much to show for it.  Don’t ask me what I have to show for this week because I just stared at my screen for 5 minutes struggling to think of something.  I don’t want to pick survival because I always do that.  To be fair, a big reason for this is certain entities decided to start the year continuing to antagonize me.  They know of my anxiety and how to trigger it, so they make sure to do things that will upset me to the point where I’ll react in an ‘uncivilized’ manner.  Basically, I’ve reached the point where I promptly tell them to go fuck themselves and the ensuing complaint about my language is met with ‘fuck off’.  Look, emotionally abuse someone for years, expect them to eventually treat you with no respect and manners because you’re now a monster.  That’s all I’m going to say about that.

This coming week is going to be more of the same with work and meetings at the beginning.  I don’t want to tackle any of Darwin & the Joy Path since I have my son for the MLK Jr. weekend, which is right before midterms.  During the week, I’d be able to get one section done, but then have to wait awhile. That caused some continuity issues in the past, so it might be best to hold off.  So, it might be a focus on March blog posts and then some ‘Phi Beta Files’.  I might tinker with that thief guild idea, which changed in my mind during a drive home.  Then, I hit a pothole and ended up losing the concept . . . Is that a normal thing or should I be worried?

Goals of the week time:

1. Finish chapters 12 and 13 of Darwin & the Joy Path.
2. Get an hour of fresh air each day if weather permits.  This includes Pokemon.
3. When he’s here, help my son study for mid-terms.
4. Stationary bike since I got back into it last week.
5. Post, and maybe complete, March posts.
6. Work on ‘Phi Beta Files’.
7. Puzzle time when I need a screen break.
8. Continue to go to bed around 10 or 10:30 to avoid fatigue.
9. Hydrate!