(This is a strange addition at the final hour.  I’ve had 90 reviews for Beginning of a Hero for a long time. I’ve lost a bunch for undisclosed reasons over the last nearly 7 years.  All of a sudden, I see it’s up to a count of 105 reviews, but no new ones.  I have no idea if old ones were restored or there’s a glitch that will be fixed and put me back to 90 soon.  Really weird.)

Don’t think I have any writing news because I couldn’t get a lick of time to do more than glance longingly at my outline.  Did 4 notebook entries for ‘So, You Want to Write a Fantasy Story?’ when I had free and lunch periods, but those required Herculean levels of energy.  I fully expect to be a zombie over the weekend, which is why I’m writing this post on Thursday night.  Maybe I’ll get a chapter section done on Friday night and fit two more in today, but I’m not holding my breath.  Next weekend is looking better since it’s a 3 day and my son is with his mom.  This weekend, we party . . . Or not.

Now, let me say that this was a busy week because I went back to work after a two week break.  That meant getting up at 5:30 AM again, which was made even worse by the freezing temperatures.  Leaving a warm bed for anything short of the apocalypse, various bodily functions, or being late for work wasn’t really happening.  Having a weighted blanket that pushes my anxiety away added to the desire to hibernate.  So, I had to get used to everything again.  Oddly enough, I made it through Monday and Tuesday fairly well.  Then, someone texted me at 2:25 AM on Wednesday and a few stresses appeared later that day to drive me into the ground.  This is why I’m not sure if even want to try writing since I don’t expect to be very functional.

Jolted awake after a dream that all of Warwick Davis’s characters were trying to kill me in a cemetery (a nightmare induced by the same person who texted me) wasn’t the most draining thing though.  With me getting the TA Level III certification, I’ve had to look into the next stage.  That’s full teacher certification, which I may be able to get the initial one for after passing a few tests.  After that, I need a Masters Degree and that’s where I’m struggling.  I think I found a good online only program, but money might be an issue and I won’t be able to start until the Summer or Fall.  Need to take the GRE again and I haven’t even touched on the actual stress part of the whole thing.

You see, I’m not going to work at the camp during the summer again.  I’ve made this clear because it left me exhausted and I want to work on the teaching certification.  This means, I might not be working through July and August.  Sort of because I do plan on writing books that I can publish later this year and next because that will take a lot off my plate. I can balance classes, tests, and writing fairly easily.  Honestly, I could feasibly do War of Nytefall: Savagery or The Longbow of Ichabod Brooks in July.  Then, I would try to start in on the fantasy tip book when I had my son in August.  All of this is doable even with some switching around.  Yet, some people have become upset by this plan and have been pushing me this week to do other things.  I get the whole ‘other people balance it’ or ‘you’re going to go broke’ even though the first one doesn’t mean everyone can and the second is a lie.  I’d be living off soups for lunches for a while and eating as cheap as possible, so that’s a plus.

My frustration is that I’m trying to figure out what major I should take and get everything else in order.  I’d like to do this without putting the final nail in my author coffin, especially during the year that I wanted to revive it to some extent.  Even if I can pay one bill with my writing, I’ll be happy.  This really feels like I had many people waiting for a chance to tell me I failed and prevent me from trying again.  They might not have had any faith in me in the first place, which seeped into my mind and caused a lot of doubt and low self-esteem.  You see how often I claim to suck and argue against compliments?  That’s a bizarre knee-jerk reaction that I never pay attention to.  By the time I realize it, I’ve already hit send.  Anyway, this is what I’ve been dealing with all week and a big reason why I didn’t have the energy to write at night.

On a more positive note, I’m almost done with the March posts and am looking for topics for April.  Trying to figure out 12 of them and only have 2 right now.  I’m going to do a post on 7 tips to writing depressed characters and 7 tips to writing anxious characters.  I think I’ll end that week with a Questions 3 post to let others talk about writing characters with mental health issues.  Oddly enough, that looks like it will be the week of my 40th birthday too.  After that, I’ll have to figure out 9 more posts.  As usual, I’m always happy to take some requests whether it be about writing, fantasy, Windemere, Nytefall, or whatever you think will work.

I’ve got no real plan for next week.  Probably going to have people pounce on me about the GRE and talk as if getting my Masters is no different than mailing in cereal UPCs.  Glad I spend most of my weekdays at work where people understand how this works.  I do hope to have enough energy to write a bit during the week, but I will probably do blog posts instead.  The part of the book I’m up to is getting complicated because it’s heading into the third/fourth act.  Need time and focus for all this.

Goals for the week?

1. Get some sleep.
2. Start watching ‘The Mandolorian’ with my son on a borrowed Disney+.
3. Puzzle work.
4. Write 2-3 chapters of War of Nytefall: Ravenous over the 3-day weekend.
5. Test out War of Nytefall: Eradication blurb tomorrow.
6. Tinker with other ideas.
7. Finish March blog posts and start in on April.
8. Figure out a Sunday post.  That day is becoming harder to figure out since I don’t have a theme for it.