Think I’m Just Going To Lie Down For A Min . . . ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

How tiring and rough was this week?  I think I just cricked my neck by looking up at the ceiling.  I know I got 6-7 hours of sleep every night, so I’m rested.  I didn’t even jump out of bed because it was too cold in the morning.  That may have been a problem since it meant I rushed around for 30 minutes before heading out the door.  I did have a lot on my plate and breakfast was consistently a piece of toast then blindfolded roulette on what I did for lunch.  Lots of variation of chicken sandwich.  I think I simply hit tonight wanting to rest and I’ll dive into writing tomorrow.  Well . . . That’s the post.

Not really, but my head feels blurry.  So blurry that I wrote ‘tomorrow’ when this goes live today, but I’m really writing it yesterday.  Time is merely a suggestion to my mind at this point.  I have vague memories of tinkering with my superheroes, but I can’t find the notes anywhere.  Did some planning for the fantasy tip book when I had a few free periods.  So, I can’t say I didn’t make progress somewhere.  So, why do I feel drained and depressed as hell?

I think it’s the stress of the week.  I didn’t get much ‘me’ or ‘son’ time, which always wears on me.  I’ve also been getting asked a lot about the divorce and where I’m going with my teaching career.  Not in a sensible way either.  The divorce is a painful topic especially when we have to sit down to divide up breaks and rearrange stuff.  It drives home the fact that I don’t get to see my son every day.  With the teaching certification, I just put in for TA Level III, so I only have to wait for that to go through.  Outside of school, people talk as if I should already have a Masters and full certification.  These aren’t achieved by sending in cereal boxtops!  I need to find a program that I can get into and make the time for as well as finding out what I need to do.  The next level up wants me to be enrolled in an Educator Preparation program . . . I finished that in Florida.  All I’ve been told is that to find out if that counts, I need to submit an application for my initial teaching certification.  It’s kind of messy and stressful, so the blunt inquiries aren’t helping.

This is feeding into a sensation that I’ve had for a long time.  Possibly years, but I’m seeing it more now.  Most days, it seems like I’m living for everyone else.  Now, I total accept that I have to do things for and with my son because I love him and he is my responsibility.  I enjoy those times.  Yet, it feels like all of my other decisions are being foisted upon me by people who place me in ‘no win’ situations.  I can’t do writing because I have to help out with something.  If I volunteer then it’s cool, but there are times when it’s assumed I’m going to be there and I get guilt if I refuse.  The freest time for me is when I’m at school because I love it there and feel like I’m doing something worthwhile.  No idea why that can’t carry over to other things.  Maybe this is stemming more from the rough 4-day weekend that I had.

Well, there is the other thing.  Originally, the two week holiday vacation was neatly split between me and the ex-wife.  I had planned to writing for most of her week with our son and then have fun with him during my time.  Well, things happened and I’ve lost a few if not all of those days.  Some of that I totally understand and will enjoy because of the ensuing situation.  The rest is frustrating because I’m not being given a straight answer on how long the interruptions will take.  It could even stop me from getting together with friends and relaxing.  No puzzles and possibly no TV for the whole time too.  Needless to say, I’m not liking how that’s looking and am getting frustrated.  I could feasibly knock out 5 chapters of War of Nytefall: Eradication in that time.  Combine that with this and my next free weekend and I could feasibly bring it into the final act before 2020.  That’s better than I expected.

Speaking of War of Nytefall, I’m slowly setting up hype posts for February and March.  I think two months should cover a lot of ground and help the book.  A week from Sunday will be the first volunteer request post and I’m hoping to get some help.  Need to make the blurb and choose some teasers for the hype period too.  Honestly, I think I’m going to be mellow and take it easy on this promo.  If I get a lot of volunteers then that’s great, but I’ll see what happens.  So tired of busting my ass and getting nowhere, so I should try to enjoy the creation process when I can dive into it.  As a friend once said I’m a better author than a businessman.  My brain goes a little haywire when I step out of the role of creator and have to promote myself.  Got enough stress, so why push myself to the point where I’m panicking?  If the book sells then it sells.  I’ll do what I can with minimal funds and times to push it ahead.

So, goals of the week:

  1. Write 1-2 chapters of War of Nytefall: Eradication.
  2. Prepare more February and March promos.
  3. Tinker with superhero stories if I can.
  4. Watch a little more ‘Altered Carbon’.
  5. Read more ‘Overlord’.
  6. (Time with son and at work are givens.)
  7. Begin moving books and DVDs to basement in preparation of room getting painted.
  8. Finish putting celestial keys on their keychains for my son’s holiday present.  (Fairy Tail thing)

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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18 Responses to Think I’m Just Going To Lie Down For A Min . . . ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  1. Always tough to have others control the agenda. I hope next week is better.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hoping you can find some personal time in the next week.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. L. Marie says:

    I’m sorry this week was so hard and emotionally draining. You could use a break.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Stress will do that to you, especially if you don’t get some time for yourself where you can just relax. Hope the coming week is a better one, and you can get some time for yourself, and maybe some time with your son too.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It is tough when you are being pulled in several different directions and not in control of all of them. You have your key focus which are your son and your job which are the anchor points but I do know the stress of being in limbo waiting for others to get their acts together..I hope you find some time that is yours to work on your writing which is something you love too..

    Liked by 1 person

  6. V.M.Sang says:

    Sounds like you had a stressful week. Charles. I hope the next one is better and you can manage to do things of you instead of others.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m chalking this week and the next up to mostly work. With a 2 week break coming, we have a lot to do at school. Plenty of events too, so I’ll be busy. At least most of them are fun things. It’s at home that I have trouble carving out me time.

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  7. If it helps, I had to set aside writing for a long, long time between when I started writing at eighteen, had kids, got divorced, discovered I had a mental illness, and then came back to writing. Please understand, I’m not trying to brush your problems aside. I wish you well. I just wanted to give you hope, there will come a day, a time.

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    • Thanks. It’s hard to imagine going for years without writing when I have so many ideas. That’s just me not wanting to leave any idea unwritten. It hurts to think I’d have to give up on so many of them.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I know. And the thing is, when you don’t write, it makes you in a miserable mood., in my experience. I keep a journal to capture my ideas. Don’t know if that will help you or not. If you can, sneak five minutes here, ten minutes there. Build little by little. That’s how I started back and even today, you’d be surprised how much you can get done in those mins., knowing it’s all you have. Hope that helps.

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      • I have various idea books that I used to jot things down in. That kept the edge off. Finding it hard to go back to that being it after years of writing actual books almost every day. Also, I’ve built up so many ideas to the state where it’s outline and write time only.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Hugs, Charles. I hope that you’ll find a way!

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