Recap: A Week of Broken Goals and Battered Brains

Last week went south really fast and next week is looking like the same thing.  I didn’t even touch the Ichabod Brooks notebook and struggled to keep up with online stuff.  By Tuesday, I was already exhausted and stressed.  So, what happened?

First, I’m going to mention a few good things . . . I finished setting up the posts for January and February.  That’s really all I could focus on.  Jason sent me a progress shot of the Warlord of the Forgotten Age cover, so we’re hoping for the book to be out by the second week of December.  It’ll probably be near the end of that week as long as things run smoothly, which is another issue stemming from the current problem.  Correction: ProblemS.  Sadly, this ends the positive stuff.

My wife still has two weeks in the cast, which means I still have two weeks of driving her to and from work.  This means I haven’t been able to ease into my day and I’ve been doing all of the errands too.  I get home tired, unmotivated to do biking, and barely able to focus on anything other than the clock.  It just feels like my life and time has been redirected to keeping the house in one piece.  Seriously, even with the cast, she can’t do much of anything.  I have to flip the popcorn popper when it’s done, cut her food if it requires a knife, driving, carrying her heavy bag to work, make her egg cups, and repeatedly watch to make sure she doesn’t hit her arm.  I know this is what a husband has to do and I don’t mind it beyond the exhaustion.  Yet, it’s caused the bigger problem that we’re starting to face.  This is what’s going to get me in trouble, but I need to vent and give an explanation of why I’m exceptionally off my game here.

Some people might remember that my son is on the autism spectrum and he’s been fighting his meals.  So, things have been dicey for a while.  Well, the situation took a turn for the worse.  On Monday, he abruptly became terrified of the bus and flipped out as it came down the block.  I tried to wave it on while my wife tried to wave it to stop, which caused him to freak out even more.  He didn’t want the bus to leave without him, but he refused to get on the bus.  He’s the first pick up too.  Eventually, the bus left and we had an angry house.  A lot of yelling ensued and I ended up taking my son with me to drop my wife off at work.  He calmed down during the trip and I was able to drop him off at school where he had a nice day.  I was already drained and couldn’t get any work done because I was trying to figure out what set him off.  The next day, he got on the bus with a little caution, but at least he got on.  I spent the morning wandering Target in search of a reward for him and picking up some cheap trinkets for when he earns 30 food stickers.  I thought this was going to be the worst of it all.

So, Wednesday passed with my wife getting an X-ray and being told 2 more weeks.  We had some fighting with the little guy at night because he was refusing to do his reading for school.  We do it at night since we’ve always done reading at night.  Everyone was getting tired and then things came to a head on Friday.  My son was happy when he got on the bus, but he turned.  The overview is major tantrums, throwing stuff, kicking at the air, and screaming, which he’s never done at school before.  He’s been difficult and thrown minor tantrums, but throwing stuff is new.  Yet, he came home happy and didn’t have a problem going to martial arts.  It was after dinner that he exploded like never before and we got a front row seat to the violence.  I was actually hit on purpose and that brought things to a whole new level.  Saturday was spent being cautious about him and discussing what we’re going to do about it.  Looks like we’ll have to get a child psychologist into this, but the adults here are still arguing over things.  Some people are suggesting medication and others don’t want to go that far unless entirely necessary.

One thing that remains is that we’re not sure what caused this.  My wife and I have a feeling that it’s in response to her injury since this started 2 days after that.  Since that day, everything has changed in the house.  My wife can’t do a lot with him, I’m more tired than ever, grandpa takes him to martial arts instead of me, and we simply don’t have the time to ease into things.  Mornings are chaotic with me having to get my wife and son moving instead of focusing entirely on him.  So, this could be him freaking out over his world changing beyond his control.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t mean he’ll go right back to his old self once the cast is off.  We’ve already had to opt out of a family gathering because of this too.  It’s looking like going out won’t be a thing for a while unless it’s to a place with an easy out.

Honestly, I would have been happy if the only thing that went wrong this week was the manga screw up.  Requested Cowboy Bebop 1-3, Cowboy Bebop: Shooting Star 1-2, Samurai Champloo 1-2, and a Trigun Omnibus.  Still waiting on the first series 2-3, got 2 copies of Volume 2 of the second series, and Volume 1 of the 3rd series ended up being an art book.  At least Trigun worked out and I requested the first 4 Omnibuses (Volumes 1-12) of Dragonball.  Reading manga is one of the few joys I’m able to get lately since I can’t touch my writing too often.

So, that’s been my week and why the goal post was delayed.  Next week could be the same and we have parent-teacher conferences on Wednesday.  That means he’ll be home then and I have a big doctor appointment on Thursday.  Could be nothing, could be something, but I have to get it checked out.

All of that being said, I feel I owe people an apology for what’s turning into a fairly disastrous hype and debut for the final Legends of Windemere book.  I know I have 25 people who requested personalized guest posts, which have been written.  Some people have reserved dates for me and I’ve got so much going on here that I can’t give a satisfying release date.  Once I hit publish, my first priority will be getting those posts out with the cover and sales link.  My hope is that I can muster enough energy to get the book out and set up all the promos before I finally give in to what is amounting to a physical, mental, and emotional collapse.  Just feeling so frayed and I’m angry that this is the mindset I have when I finally finish my big series.  Almost like I can’t fully enjoy it because I’m under so much stress.

I’m not making any goals for this week and maybe not the next one.  I’m just going to take things as they come and hope for the best.  Hope everyone has a fun week.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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39 Responses to Recap: A Week of Broken Goals and Battered Brains

  1. God, what a stressfest! I hope things settle down soon so you can focus on your writing again.

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  2. twixie13 says:

    Damn…and I thought things were stressful on my end of things lately (no running water until at least tomorrow, and a real bitch of a toothache I’ve named “Sinestro”). I believe you can pull through this, though, and hope things improve!

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  3. We want the very best for our children and when they hurt we hurt. My grandson was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes three years ago and I still want to cry every time he goes low. It scares the hell out of me.
    I hope your son feels safe again soon so you and your family can rest.

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  4. All you can do is take it one day at a time. Best wishes.

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  5. C.E.Robinson says:

    Wow….Charles! Sorry you have stress over the top. Think you have the answer to your son’s changed behavior. Hope things settle down for all when your wife’s cast comes off. Good thoughts getting back to writing! Christine

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  6. Elle Knowles says:

    Oh wow! Sorry you’re having such a bad time. Here’s hoping it gets better this week! ~Elle

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  7. Wow… you really had a lousy week. I hope this week is better.
    Wordpress really needs a ‘Sorry to hear that’ button along with the Like button.

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  8. I’m no expert, but I have dealt with autistic children in the past. In fact, I was a regular babysitter for one of them. Anyway, in my non-expert opinion, you aren’t going to make much progress with calming him down – even with medication – until his routine is back to normal. The change in his routine, combined with you guys being tired and stressed, is almost certainly the trigger, and while those things are still happening, chances are high he’ll kick off again, no matter what measures you take to try and avoid it. You know him best, so you may have things you know will calm him that will at least make things a bit easier in the meantime, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me the things that usually work aren’t working right now. Sorry I can’t say anything more positive about the situation, but that’s how I see it based on my own experiences with autistic children.

    As for the book launch stuff: just send the stuff when you’re ready with it, and I’ll make sure you have a spot as soon as possible after I have it all.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. So sorry to hear all this! Living with a disabled child is always a work in progress. Mine has an anxiety disorder and explodes verbally when unexpected events occur. I always wonder what I could have done to stop the episode before it escalates.

    None of this is your fault. You love your son and are doing your best for him. It is still heart breaking and maddening, though. I’ll be thinking of you and your family, Charles.

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    • Half the time I wonder that and other times I realize I didn’t do anything. Sometimes he simply explodes just by being talked to. The mood can change so quickly lately that we can’t tell when he’s being playful or legitimately angry.

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  10. That’s rough. I’ve been taking things as they come for a couple of years now. It isn’t the best way of going about things, but sometimes it’s all you can do.

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  11. I do hope your arsenal includes family counseling, though. I have seen a disabled child learn to use their anger to basically take over the family. Parents constantly cater to the child for fear of an outburst.

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  12. I hope it’s over, but I’m afraid it may be a while–until he goes back to his normal routine. If it’s stressful for you adults, imagine what it’s like for the poor guy 😦

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  13. Just wanted to offer hugs, Charles. Things can bog us down so much, including family life, I know. I hope things are going better for you all. I know how upsetting it can be when things don’t go as planned. My son is a ball of nerves when he breaks his glasses which is constantly, it seems. I would buy him an extra pair but the finances aren’t there right now. Take care of your health! Sometimes, we can forget how important it is to do that. Takes some “me” time when you can. Just remember, all this will pass.

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