Fading Colors

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What was once vivid
Has faded into the bleak
Bright colors of youth
Have lost their luster
And continue draining
As the days go by

Is it the world around me
Or my own eyes have glazed?
Cataracts of pessimism
Forged by years of knowing
That life is no longer
Fun and games

__________________________________________________________

I actually came up with this poem idea earlier in the week.  Thought I would remember it since I was driving, but it didn’t happen.  Couldn’t even write it down because dying in a fiery wreck isn’t on my bucket list.  Now, the day was overcast and gloomy because snow was coming.  This immediately put me in a funk, which was increased by the usual stuff that is well-documented here.  Gray weather always sinks my mood and it’s a slog to get any work done.  At least these days.

Anyway, I passed by something that I’ve been passing ever since I went to elementary school.  I don’t remember exactly what it was since I wasn’t paying full attention to anything other than where I had to make a left.  Yet, my mind perceived that the object wasn’t the right color.  I began noticing a melancholy coming over me and paid more attention to the colors around me.  Things didn’t seem as bright as they were when I was a kid.  I’m not talking about objects that had always been there.  Just the entire world lacked something.  Either that or I lacked it.

When watching my son explore the world, I wonder how vivid everything is since it’s all new to him.  I’m old enough to have let most things fade into the background.  Stop signs are only there when I’m driving.  Trees and flowers aren’t examined with curiosity like when I was a kid.  Things are simply there to me, but he sees nearly everything as a fresh experience.  Maybe this is just part of being a kid and a side-effect of having very little knowledge and experience.  Maybe things losing their vividness is part of life.

Yet, I do miss the sense of exploration and discovery, so maybe we aren’t really supposed to lose this part of ourselves.  I can see how it’s useful, but I also know how often people tell you to leave it behind.  Imagination, creativity, enjoying the world around you, and other ‘frivolities’ are either for kids or that 15-minute smoke break you get.  Nobody wants to hear somebody talk about the beautiful flowers.  They ask about your job.  It really is like a cloak of translucent gray has been cast over my adult world and it takes a lot of conscious effort to see through to the vividness.  Really makes me consider the possibility that we’re doing adulthood all wrong.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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33 Responses to Fading Colors

  1. So true. I can usually recharge with a day in the forest, but winter puts a damper on that.

    Like

  2. Since retiring I’ve made a point of noticing nature more and letting my inner kid resurface – it took some practice, but it’s worth it 👍🐵

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have to agree and that’s why I create a different world here in my mind and on paper. I also agree that retirement allows you to put the adult things behind you and smell the coffee.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. L. Marie says:

    That poem seems very poignant to me. I also miss that sense of exploration and wonder. I love discovering that in the books others write.

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  5. Sometimes life gets dull and we have to stop and remind ourselves that everything isn’t supposed to be that way. Everyone should take a brief break every week to stop and smell the roses, unfortunately that’s easier said than done.

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    • Yeah. One challenge is that people don’t stop to smell the roses in groups. You stop for a sniff and somebody else yells at you for being lazy because they caught you in a downtime. I know this is one of my problems and a reason I’m always working on something. After years of being caught taking a break and scolded for it, I’m paranoid about the whole thing. Wonder if any other species stresses itself out like humans.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Rachel says:

    Lovely poem. And I definitely agree with you. As adults, we really do end up doing everything “wrong.” Our innocence is taken away with age.

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  7. I live in the countryside and although I don’t walk this time of year, I still get to see herds of cows out my back door, and horses down the street. I still want to own some horses like my Grandpa before me, someday. These things help me to get through the winters.

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  8. Pingback: Writing Links in the 3s and 6…2/6/17 – Where Genres Collide

  9. Pingback: Blog Round Up: February 2017 – Rachel Poli

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