2017 Top 5: #1- Fading Colors

The top post of 2017 originally went live on February 2.

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What was once vivid
Has faded into the bleak
Bright colors of youth
Have lost their luster
And continue draining
As the days go by

Is it the world around me
Or my own eyes have glazed?
Cataracts of pessimism
Forged by years of knowing
That life is no longer
Fun and games

__________________________________________________________

I actually came up with this poem idea earlier in the week.  Thought I would remember it since I was driving, but it didn’t happen.  Couldn’t even write it down because dying in a fiery wreck isn’t on my bucket list.  Now, the day was overcast and gloomy because snow was coming.  This immediately put me in a funk, which was increased by the usual stuff that is well-documented here.  Gray weather always sinks my mood and it’s a slog to get any work done.  At least these days.

Anyway, I passed by something that I’ve been passing ever since I went to elementary school.  I don’t remember exactly what it was since I wasn’t paying full attention to anything other than where I had to make a left.  Yet, my mind perceived that the object wasn’t the right color.  I began noticing a melancholy coming over me and paid more attention to the colors around me.  Things didn’t seem as bright as they were when I was a kid.  I’m not talking about objects that had always been there.  Just the entire world lacked something.  Either that or I lacked it.

When watching my son explore the world, I wonder how vivid everything is since it’s all new to him.  I’m old enough to have let most things fade into the background.  Stop signs are only there when I’m driving.  Trees and flowers aren’t examined with curiosity like when I was a kid.  Things are simply there to me, but he sees nearly everything as a fresh experience.  Maybe this is just part of being a kid and a side-effect of having very little knowledge and experience.  Maybe things losing their vividness is part of life.

Yet, I do miss the sense of exploration and discovery, so maybe we aren’t really supposed to lose this part of ourselves.  I can see how it’s useful, but I also know how often people tell you to leave it behind.  Imagination, creativity, enjoying the world around you, and other ‘frivolities’ are either for kids or that 15-minute smoke break you get.  Nobody wants to hear somebody talk about the beautiful flowers.  They ask about your job.  It really is like a cloak of translucent gray has been cast over my adult world and it takes a lot of conscious effort to see through to the vividness.  Really makes me consider the possibility that we’re doing adulthood all wrong.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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30 Responses to 2017 Top 5: #1- Fading Colors

  1. I agree – we ARE doing adulthood wrong – we get too tangled up in making ends meet, work, providing for our families, etc, that we lose touch with things around us.
    Time to find our inner child again 😃

    Like

  2. Wow, what a thought-provoking post. This line really struck me: “Nobody wants to hear somebody talk about the beautiful flowers. They ask about your job.” How bleak is that? I hope that as writers we learn to pay better attention, as you did in this post, and choose to notice those flowers, the vibrancy around us. I believe it’s still there if we open our eyes. 🙂

    Like

  3. L. Marie says:

    Beautiful poem and post, Charles. I agree that we’re doing adulthood very wrong.

    I also miss the exploration and wonder of childhood. Trying to regain that perspective, even though I’m as old as dirt.

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    • It’s really tough to regain that perspective. I keep trying and I’m always dragged back by the people around me. It’s like we’re not allowed to step away from reality and recharge in escapism any more. At least not without a movie ticket or streaming service involved.

      Like

  4. Seems like others noticed the same thing, but I agree we are doing adulthood all wrong.

    Like

  5. At my age, I can confess to doing adult all wrong. I wasted years, fighting to get ahead, worrying about stuff that never happened, and trying to meet my own expectations of perfection. I’m glad I pulled out of it.

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  6. I liked this the first time, and I still like it!

    Like

  7. Jennie says:

    Powerful post, Charles. Your last line is the best, suggesting that we’re doing adulthood all wrong. Despite the gray and cloudy cast, we can find that inner child. You stopped to look and remember, that’s a good thing. Thank you, Charles.

    Like

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