Top of 2016 #4: 7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation

(Originally posted HERE.)



We’ve all been there.  Minding our own business when we stumble onto a sign that there are dragons nearby.  If we’re lucky, the beast is already gone or simply passing through the area.  Yet there are times where they stick around.  So here’s what to look for to see if you need an exterminator.

  1. You haven’t seen the cat in days.  Sure, Princess Tangerine wanders off from time to time.  This feels different.  Maybe it’s because she hasn’t reacted to you running the can opener over a loudspeaker.  Could even be the that her food bowl is missing . . . along with the floor it was on.
  2. There’s a lot of smoke in and around the house.  You’ve called the fire department, but that hasn’t stopped the problem.  Then again, the truck has been outside for the last few days, so maybe it’s a really big fight where you can’t see it.  For now, just keep the ceiling fans on.
  3. Sure are a lot of earthquakes lately.  Nothing severe, but the house keeps shaking.  It would make more sense if you were on a fault line.  You’re not, but maybe it’s one that hasn’t been identified yet.
  4. Somebody keeps leaving gold coins and gems around the house and yard.  Not that you’re complaining.  Finders keepers and all that.  Still, it’s getting hard to explain to the bank and local jewelers.  Also, gold coins are not as accepted as gold cards.
  5. Random bursts of wind keep knocking trees over.  This tends to happen along with sudden darkness that lasts for a second or two.  You called the local weatherman who told you to use Facebook instead.  Even then, all he could say is that predicting weather is more of an art than a science.  You get the sense that he’s been drinking to forget something.
  6. A band of short, armored men with an array of beards keep showing up on your doorstep.  Sometimes they show up with a tall, old guy that spontaneously disappears for other business.  You think you saw a kid with them too, but it could have been a trick of the light.  Unlike the people with large saddles, these guys don’t seem to take ‘No’ for an answer.
  7. Uh, you see a dragon.  Seriously, they aren’t that good at hiding in suburbia.

About Charles Yallowitz

Charles E. Yallowitz was born, raised, and educated in New York. Then he spent a few years in Florida, realized his fear of alligators, and moved back to the Empire State. When he isn't working hard on his epic fantasy stories, Charles can be found cooking or going on whatever adventure his son has planned for the day. 'Legends of Windemere' is his first series, but it certainly won't be his last.
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27 Responses to Top of 2016 #4: 7 Signs You Have a Dragon Infestation

  1. Love this but did you know there is a jolly green dragon hibernating near my garden pond! Just ask Bob.


  2. A recyled post? That’s a fair idea I hadn’t thought of.


  3. This is a fun post! I have to comment on my Pokemon Go experience. There really are dragons out there. Charmaders that tun into Charmeleons, then great Charizards and Dratini, Dragonaire and monster Dragonites, and now little fairy babies who can fight them, Togetic, Clefable, and Chancey who can defend against them. LOL…I go dragon hunting once a week at Kissimmee Lakefront Park. It’s a magical place. A lot of my friends read fantasy. So I’ve been gracefully promoting your work.


  4. noelleg44 says:

    This was such a fun post. Well worth a second read!


  5. L. Marie says:

    Totally love this! And I love love number 4 to happen. Seriously.


  6. This is a fun one, all right!


  7. TanGental says:

    it explains a lot of what happens in Peckham most nights; thanks for the tips Charles. I’m onto Rentokill to see if they do Dragons


  8. Not to mention the flaming piles of dragon…leavings.


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